by John Walters
No, it’s not true that I deliberately refrained from posting on Wednesday just to spite Susie B.’s ardor for LeBrontosaurus. Then again, if we were searching for motive… In truth, I was traveling — and not to the one state I have yet to visit (Alaska).
Starting Five
1. Buffon!
A young Peter Gabriel? A slightly melancholy version of Top Gun’s Pete Mitchell after winning a game of beach volleyball? No, that’s Juventus goalkeeper and captain Gianluigi Buffon celebrating after his side held Real Madrid to a draw yesterday in Madrid in the Champions League semis, which means the Serie A club will advance to the final in Berlin.
Most of us (myself included) were thinking we’d be seeing El Clasico (i.e., Spanish sides Barcelona versus Real Madrid) being played out in the Champions League final for the first time…and that would’ve been cool because the two greatest goal scorers in the tournament’s history, Lionel Messi (Barca) and Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Madrid), are tied at 77 goals apiece. Alas…
p.s. Real Madrid’s Gareth Bale is tracing out a very Alex Rodriguez-like story arc to his career, and that’s not a compliment.
2. Washington Weak in Review
This photo is actually from Friday night’s overtime win, but, you know, same difference…
Alex Ovechkin guaranteed a Game 7 win after the Capitals blew a 3-1 series lead. But the New Yorkers won in overtime. It was their second overtime win on the brink of elimination in the series and their 14th consecutive playoff game that was decided by one goal. As they say in hockey, “On to Tampa…”
Meanwhile, the Wizards lost Game 5 in Atlanta, 82-81, on a buzzer-beater by Tito Al Horford.
3. The Blindsided
This is where a photo of John Skipper would go if he were below 50 or George Clooney….
Give ESPN skipper John Skipper this much credit: At ESPN’s upfronts he was upfront about the fact that he never contacted Bill Simmons before allowing word to get out that The Sports Guy would not be retained.
And then Skipper went all Corleone by saying, “It was business.” It may have been business, but Skipper made it quite personal by telling Richard Sandomir of The New York Times the news before Simmons ever found out –it was 7:21 a.m. on the West Coast. He is the Skipper, but Simmons is no longer his Li’l Buddy….
To quote a Bostonian whom Simmons has long revered ( <–!), Will Hunting, “How do you like them apples?”
4. Does “Letterman” Rhyme With Hannukkah?
For his final appearance on Late Show, Adam Sandler resurrected that sweet, sincere, witty part of himself that disappeared in the late Nineties, and penned a fine tribute to the host (“and nobody makes my mother wetter than…”). Well done.
5. Head Over Helio
Castroneves walked away from this accident, while at least three soccer players had to be carried off the pitch today for being pinched
Three-time Indianapolis 500 winner, and one-time Dancing With The Stars champion Helio Castroneves nearly made The Brickyard a graveyard on Wednesday afternoon. Helio was traveling 219 m.p.h. when his car hit the wall, hydroplaned and went airborne like a massive paper airplane. Watch the video and remember that he walked away from this.
Music 101
Sex Machine, etc.
Last night on Letterman, Dave brought his sidekick of 33 years, Paul Shafer, over to talk tunes. When asked to give his greatest musician whom he had ever worked with, Shaffer mentioned the Godfather of Soul and this appearance from the show’s first year. And what ever became of Carmine Polazzo?
Remote Patrol
Late Show
CBS 11:35 p.m.
I wouldn’t be shocked if Matt Damon or Brad Pitt do a walk-on during Clooney’s appearance
Only one more week of this, so thank you for indulging me (not that you have a choice). Your guests are George Clooney and Tom Waits “for no one”.
Last night on the program, Julia Roberts put it succinctly and accurately: “I love you, and I thank you for all the joy and the laughs and the intelligence you have brought us for 33 years.”
Amen.
As if a mere 24 hour delay can stop me. 🙂
A few days ago I stated that it seemed improbable for a team with only a Big One could make it to a conference Finals, &/or NBA Finals, let alone win a championship. Tuesday night’s game proved me wrong. AND proved me right! Yes, if your Big One is a LEBRONTOSAURUS rampaging up & down the court, scoring 38 points, 12 rebounds, 6 assists, 3 blocks, 3 steals, NO turnovers AND with 14 of 24 FG (58%!), you have a chance. However, only if all the other ‘Pacemakers’ are “stepping up” too, most especially your Big Two guy who for the previous 3 games was a limping, wincing shell, is SOMEHOW now running up & down the court & scoring 25 points of his own in a ‘mind over matter’ glorious display. Mysteries of modern medicine (“liquid nitrogen chamber” or what I’m referring to as an “ice, ice, baby box”) or witchcraft?
However, despite the ecstatic conclusion and the MVP performance by the Sexiest Man Alive, all was NOT perfect in Game 5. The Cavs played sluggishly & sloppily in the 1st halves of the 1st & 3rd quarters & ALMOST GAVE AWAY A 17 POINT LEAD WITH LESS THAN 9 MINUTES TO GO! And if LBJ had not kept Rose from scoring with an OH-SO-GLORIOUS-HOW-DID-HE-DO-THAT chase down block in the final 50 seconds, the ripsnortin’ (but just as wounded as the Cavs) Bulls would have tied the friggin game. Forget the pacemaker, one needs a defibrillator to watch this team!
But they won & that’s all that matters in the “You be strong, you SURVIVE! You STAY ALIVE, no matter what occurs! No matter how long it takes, no matter how far!” NBA playoffs. (Ok, ok, just had to get one of my all-time favorite movie quotes in here).
Game 6 is tonight. Buckle up. 🙂
The 1st time I saw James Brown was on our old black & white Capehart TV in the early-mid 1960s. My older sister & I were being babysat by my Aunt & it is one of my earliest TV memories. When he did the “oh no, he’s breaking down & has to be escorted off the stage, only to MIRACULOUSLY come running back” bit, well, we were mesmerized (& screaming our heads off). And for the next several weeks, playacted the cape bit with bathroom towels, much to my mother’s distinct displeasure.
I am in denial about Letterman & cannot believe he will soon be gone from our TVs. Hopefully, he doesn’t completely vanish like Johnny.
Do you think SKIPPER is behind the decision to REMOVE the SC’s upcoming topics list on the left side of the screen? If so, I’d like to send Kendrick Perkins to pay him a visit. Ahem. HATE THIS!
And as much as I like SVP (fellow Terp!), I don’t think a solo midnight SC anchor is a good thing at all – it’s the CHEMISTRY & humor between the CO-hosts that make the late night version fun and watchable.
It’s finally dawned on me – Skipper’s handler, I mean “true employer”, is Fox Sports. 🙁
Still traveling? It’s Friday & I can’t wait till Monday –
I am apparently a basketball dummy. YOU co-wrote a book just for ME, so I ask you – what the heck happened last night in Chicago & LA in the NBA Playoff Game 6s?
Let’s start with the game I did not see – the Clippers AT HOME against the 2-3 Rockets. That’s right, just a single home win & the Clippers are THRU to the Western Conference Finals – a utopian paradise they have never visited. Ever. The Clipps were up by 60 or so (may have to check those numbers) & LOST. What happened there?! Did they break the cardinal sports rule & think about the next round BEFORE this round was done? A little paradise fever? Did the Rockets ingest, um, ROCKET FUEL? Please ‘splain.
And then there was the CAVS vs the BULLS. AT Chicago, barnyard of the Bulls & once upon a time, slaughterhouse to the world & possibly to my team’s championship dreams. Let’s set the scene – there were, alas, no sightings of rampaging dinosaurs or Amazing Kyries, as both had reverted to their human forms. LBJ’s shot was once more “inefficient”. Drats. And before half-time, Kyrie injures his ankle or foot or knee (I couldn’t tell) & has to be helped back to the dressing room. Duhn, dunh, dunhhhhhh. I about threw up. NOOOOOOooooooooooooo! If I had had to bet my AAPL money (well, the dividend, I’m no fool) right then on the outcome of this game, I would have bet we were going back to Cleveland for a 7th game. Somehow, we were up by 10 at half-time. Surely, the bulls would come stampeding back, just like in Game 5, right? Well, that’s what I thought & felt SURE was about to happened until we got to the 3 minute mark. Sooprize, sooprize! The Cavs ‘Bench Mob’ saved the day! I like all those guys & enjoy watching them play, but I still can’t believe it. The last 3 games were all decided by 5 points or less, 2 on miraculous buzzer beaters. Surely, the Bulls weren’t going to just lie down like cattle everywhere when a storm is a comin’? Well, they did.
So, does this mean the Cavs will waltz into the Finals &/or win the championship with a King & the Mob? I don’t know. I don’t know nuthin. I am a dummy.