by John Walters
Starting Five
The Apple HourGlass come in five different colors, including gold
1. Watch What Happens!
Is that a Delicious Apple watch, or is it a MacIntosh Apple watch? Here’s one review.
Worth noting: That under-25 group of consumers who wants what’s cool? They don’t wear watches. So this may be a new gizmo for them. Apple should market it as being akin to a tattoo.
Don’t you like the heartbeat-centric ad, though? It’s a great march for a band to use while entering a stadium. Coming April 24th….
2. Ace Hole
The legendary Jack Nicklaus, age 75, shoots a hole-in-one, a.k.a., an ace, during Wednesday’s Par 3 contest at The Masters. For context, that’s the 81st ace in the history of the Par 3 contest at Augusta. It’s not unheard of; it’s more a matter of who did it and at what age.
Meanwhile, Jeff Van Gundy made sure that ESPN never asks him to work on first- or second-round coverage of The Masters.
3. Heads R Gonna Roll…ing Stone
I think I recommended this two days ago, so maybe it’s nice to believe that someone at The Daily Show is reading this blog: Jon Stewart came out last night and announced a “citizen’s firing” of the editors at Rolling Stone. To Jann Wenner’s statement that the report on the incompetence involved “is punishment enough,” Stewart offers, “You’re missing the ever-important sentencing phase.”
And I’d say that I 100% back him on this, except that he’s 100% backing me…
4. Or, It’s Just Bad…
The first thing the producers of Garbage Time oughta do is make the set and the star look exactly like this, from her webcast, as opposed to what they have going. She’s a no-frills lass, supposedly, so put her in her comfort zone.
Loved this review of Katie Nolan’s Garbage Time on Awful Announcing: “Katie Nolan’s Garbage Time Still Finding Its Footing.” Wondering, as one friend of mine asked, why they were not as patient with Joe Buck’s show when it made its debut. I’ve got no beef with Ms. Nolan. She’s doing her best, I assume. It’s just amusing to see how far male media dudes will stretch in order to not say anything negative about her. Her pulchritude occludes their objectivity, methinks.
5. The Envelope, Please
That one time where Jimmy Fallon laughed a little too loud at something a guest said….
It was a near-miracle, but an actual conversation broke out on Jimmy Fallon’s show the other night. The guest was Louis CK and the topic was starting out as a comic, the bad clubs and the travel and the horrible life choice. And then it meandered to a comedy club in Poughkeepsie, N.Y. To Fallon’s credit, he actually remembered and mentioned the names of the couple who run the joint, Bananas.
And then it got interesting, as Louis CK was mentioning how young comics are paid –basically, the owner decides how much cash to give you and hands you an envelope. And at that point Fallon, forgetting that he should be playing charades or competing in a lip-synch contest for a moment, seized on Louie’s remark and noted that he’d just done an episode of Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee and that when he was finished, host Jerry Seinfeld handed him an envelope with cash in it.
“What’s this for?” Fallon asked.
“That’s your payment,” Seinfeld said.
“I’m not doing this for money,” Fallon said.
“No, don’t you remember?” said Jerry. “This is how we got paid starting out.”
I love that touch by Jerry. I love even more that he doesn’t film it. It’s like a priest making the sign of the cross to a parishioner. You are one of the flock.
(I couldn’t find video of this segment anywhere. NBC: Nazi Broadcasting Company).
Music 101
You Gotta Be
I’ll never figure this out. This is Des’ree, who is as beautiful as any chanteuse you’ll ever see. The song is pure poetry, and it has legs to play on your AM or FM station for years. And yet, that was it for her. The British singer last released a song 12 years ago and reportedly now lives in Edmonton, Alberta, because why not?
Fun activity for you. This is from 1994. Look at Letterman here, and look at him now. Lots of physical changes in 21 years. Dave turns 68 this Sunday. Then realize he’s older than Coach K. Look at how little the Duke coach has physically changed in that same time span.
Remote Patrol
Louie
10:30 p.m. FX
We already showed Louie above, and I’m not sure if he’s over 50 (I guess I could look it up). Anyway, this is a photo of the smoldering model who opened this season of Mad Men last Sunday. Her name is Rainey Qualley, and she just happens to be Andie McDowell’s daughter. Mom, you’ve outbred yourself (as a former colleague of mine at SI used to say).
I don’t know why I never watch this show, as big a fan as I am. Maybe I just forget FX is a channel. They should definitely air a round of March Madness next year. Anyway, here’s the Season 5 premiere.
I wanted to give a shout-out today to the guy who finally allowed himself a prominent byline on this blog. It takes a considerable amount of time, fortitude and wit to consistently educate, entertain and provoke 🙂 us on a daily basis.
THANK YOU, John Walters!
Dave didn’t know to keep an oil painting of himself in his attic. Difference in a West Point & Ball State education, I guess.
About a week ago, I saw GARBAGE TIME listed on the onscreen TV guide & clicked over to it. Nolan was standing with some other woman “talking” about something. It pains me to say this as I love to see women getting a, um, “leg up” (come on, your PHOTO made me do it!) in the male-dominated world of sports media, but it was flat-out DREADFUL. The difference between Lindsay Czarniak & Katie Nolan is like LEBRON & Lance Stephenson! At least our girl Lindsay is getting even more air time on ESPN. Has there ever been a female SOLO Sports Center anchor before? I think she’s doing great although I still miss the chemistry she had with “Anderson” (as she always called John).
About the RS-UVA debacle. That no one is getting fired leads me to believe someone is either, ahem, “involved” with the head honcho or knows where the bodies are buried. Also, that the focus/source of the article’s info (i.e. “Jackie”) is somehow without censure is ABSURD. Hold on, let me stand so I can wave my hands in the air like John McEnroe back in the day – SHE is the one who made the crap UP! At the very least, “Jackie” has a future as an NBC news anchor…
And finally today, did you see the Cavs secured the 2nd seed last night? Still no headband. I MISS the headband. I WANT the headband!
Just like Fallon for the imperfect guy he is. He’s immensely talented with scripted bits, and less so with conversation on the fly. He’s very much of the DVR generation.
I live in a world with very little Katie Nolan, and I’m okay with that.