Starting Five

1. Saul Right

Rule 41: A cynic is an idealist who has seen too much (by the way, Is anyone writing all these rules down? Susie B.? AIR? GA? An autocorrect aphorism, ‘To err is Auman.'”)

Back to Rule 41: In its last two episodes, Better Call Saul has become the show we’d hoped it would be. Our anti-heroes, Jimmy McGill (Bob Odenkirk) and Mike Ehrmentraut (Jonathan Banks), whom we will later know as criminals, or at least men who aid and abet, in Breaking Bed, are actually here good people. Good people who understand that sometimes you have to act outside the law to right a wrong.

Jimmy pulls that “Marx Brothers stuff” in an effort to help Mike. Mike kills two cops because he knew they killed his son. But he waits until they incriminate themselves to do so. Jimmy tries for hours to legally find a way to defend the koo koo Kettlemans –notice, he does try to use the law first–before realizing the most efficient way to help the good people involved (the taxpayers of Bernallilo County, Kim Wexler, and yes, himself) is to rob them. You can’t steal from a thief, technically, and all that.

There’s a reason Jimmy will eventually use a Jewish name professionally: he’s a mensch.

Oh, but what’s coming? I think we know. Something has to happen to break Jimmy’s heart, to stop him from believing in the goodness in the world. As pissed as he was at the end of last night’s episode, he was only angry because he saw that his road to wealth and success was not, alas, going to have a shortcut.

And while that may inspire some door punching, it is not the type of adversity that causes a paradigm shift in your feelings toward your fellow man. No, only betrayal does that (like when your boss asks you to babysit three college kids in a van for a week in March, but right before you go, he does something nasty behind your back, and swears the rest of the staff to secrecy, only you find out anyway and when he realizes this and is terrified that you’ll abort the mission, which will make him look bad, he enters your office and says–he actually says this–, “Some people here think I owe you an apology.” And there you are having your Joey Nichols moment). Only when someone or something you give your heart and soul to double-crosses you…

So what will happen? My guess is that Jimmy will eventually be betrayed by his paragon of decency and professionalism, by his one true friend, and by the woman he loves: Kim Wexler. Whether or not it will be actual betrayal, or just betrayal in his own mind, he will be betrayed.

How? I’m not exactly sure. But there’s a reason that the producers made Wexler’s boss, Howard Hamlin (Patrick Fabian), such a handsome guy. And while he’s older than she is, he’s not THAT MUCH older. You’ll notice that she has a certain allegiance to him and that in the scenes all three share, she’s visibly torn.

And by the way: Howard Hamlin sounds awfully close to Harry Hamlin, a man who before being better-known as Lisa Rinna’s spouse was devilishly handsome and played a smooth attorney named Michael Kuzak on L.A. Law.

Kim Wexler will either wind up having a personal relationship with Hamlin, or she’ll be forced to choose professionally between Jimmy and Hamlin. In fact, that entire scene at the hospital, she may have already been betraying Jimmy. It was in her firm’s best interests that Chuck not be committed.

I love the character that Rhea Seehorn plays, and love the job that she’s doing. Her internal struggle (she enjoys Jimmy’s company, but the pragmatic side of her knows that that the safer road to what she believes will be happiness lies at HHR) is a fascinating and subtle subplot.

That’s what I see coming. Somehow, even if it’s only in Jimmy’s own mind more than in reality, Kim Wexler is going to go Fredo on Jimmy McGill. And it’s then that he will stop believing in mankind, and in doing anything other than helping his own clients.

Here’s Alan Sepinwall’s review.

2. This Land is Borland

New San Francisco 49er theme song: “Do You Know the Way From San Jose?”

The exodus continues. First Jim Harbaugh, then potential Hall of Famer Patrick Willis. Possibly Justin Smith. And now 24 year-old linebacker Chris Borland, who would have replaced Willis in the starting lineup, retires.

Is it a pardigm shift in the NFL? Players prudently choosing long-term health above the money and fame? Well, it helps if, as in Borland’s case, your family is at least comfortable. Chris Borland is the son of a financial planner and grew up in Kettering, Ohio. It’s not Bill Laimbeer-family money, but at least he isn’t earning a paycheck for his parents and uncles, etc.

Read what Maurice Clarett had to say here. He’s absolutely right. Graduation rates are meaningless when the degree is nonsense. Oh, and by the way, it’s 2015. Your college degree has little value beyond being a bridge to a graduate degree. Your undergrad degree is what will separate you from being a server as opposed to back-of-the-kitchen staff at most restaurants. It isn’t likely to get you a corner office anywhere.

3. Members Only

In South Africa, the world’s first successful live penis transplant is performed at Stellenbosch University (“Doctor, there’s a Justin Bieber on Line 1…”). Health care professionals there say it is a vital operation due to the high rate of botched circumcisions. Two words that should never appear in succession: “botched circumcisions.”

Do you realize what will happen if this surgery becomes as easy to perform as breast augmentation surgery? Do you? Let me put it to you this way: Have you ever seen the Manhattan skyline?

4. Chalk Talk

Regarding the NCAA tournament: Seeding of teams began in 1979, in all those years, 36 tournaments, just once have all four No. 1 seeds advanced. Based on past tourneys, then, there is a 2.7% chance of Kentucky, Villanova, Wisconsin and Duke all advancing to the Final Four.

So who is most likely to be bounced? The popular pick is Villanova, but I’m going with Duke. Why? Because I hate Duke I watched them at VCU and a few other times and if you can get Jahlil Okafor in foul trouble, i.e., if a ref has enough cojones to call offensive fouls on the gifted frosh while risking the wrath of not Mike but Mickie Krzyzewski, then they’re a different team. And, outside of North Carolina, the venue will be rooting for whoever is playing Duke.

Not to be forgotten on Villanova: It’s the 30th anniversary of their miraculous run to the NCAA championship.

5. Roasted!

The Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber was taped last Saturday on the Sony lot in Los Angeles and will air later this month. Kevin Hart hosted, cuz he’s not busy (Do you think Chris Tucker has a Kevin Hart voodoo doll?). I keep waiting to hear that they’ll be roasting Arash Markazi.

Anyway, this review of it from Rolling Stone is worth your time if, like me, you love this stuff. Classic lines from newcomer Pete Davidson of SNL and Jeffery Ross. The latter comedian told a Paul Walker joke, was booed, and retorted, “Too soon? Too fast? Too furious? Gimme a break, I’m trying to save (Bieber’s) life here.”

Comedy Central is cutting all three Walker jokes from the March 30 telecast. I get it. I admire CC for even providing a platform in which almost anything goes.

Music 101 

“Loose String”

On my long list of personal failures, I’ll include not attending this 1996 Son Volt performance on Austin City Limits. One of my 10 favorite albums all-time is Trace, a 1995 effort from the band that Jay Farrar founded after the breakup of Uncle Tupelo. If you like this, give “Drown” and “Out of the Picture” a try as well.

 

Remote Patrol

Dayton Place

6:30 p.m. Tru TV

Honestly, I was looking for anything else to give you here other than the amuse bouche of March Madness. I mean, certainly The Quiet Man is playing somewhere on St. Paddy’s Day, no? No, but Finian’s Rainbow is on at 5:30 on TCM. Anyway, in a matchup New Yorkers will appreciate a Hampton without a prefix plays Manhattan, which is not located in Manhattan.

Later, BYU plays Mississippi. The Cougars are fun to watch.