Starting Five

1. Ted Talks

Former Notre Dame president Fr. Ted Hesburgh (1952-1987) who died last Friday morning at the age of 97, is laid to rest on the campus of Notre Dame. Outside of perhaps Knute Rockne and the school’s founder, Fr. Sorin, (and maybe….mayyyyybe….Rudy), he was the most important person in the school’s history.

Former President Jimmy Carter, former Secretary of State Condi Rice, and Dr. Lou spoke at a tribute to Fr. Hesburgh at the Purcell Pavilion last night. And the Irish went out and beat No. 16 Louisville by 12 last night.

A few numbers regarding Fr. Hesburgh, whose contributions to the school overall are unquantifiable: allowed women to matriculate…doubled the enrollment…tripled the faculty…endowment grew from $9 million to $350 million…as an outgoing act of grace in 1987, pardoned my friend Smoron of all his crimes against humanity, particularly the time when he tossed water balloons out the third floor of Dillon Hall at unsuspecting grad students headed to lunch.

Here’s NBC’s Anne Thompson, an alum, introducing Lou Holtz. Dr. Lou is the best speaker I’ve ever listened to in person, by far, so I invite you to listen to him here.

So if you’re keeping score this winter, the Midwest has gained a Harbaugh and lost a Hesburgh.

2. The Lovely Bone

The oldest human lineage bone ever discovered, dating back some 2.8 million years, was found by a U.S.-led team in Ethiopia earlier this week. 2.8 million years ago. And we think anything beyond 2,000 years ago is ancient history. That’s like saying $2 is a lot of money when the bank has $2,800, just for a sense of perspective.

The bone was found atop a hill, not even hidden under tons of dirt. Can you really call it a “dig” if no one actually had to dig?

3. Russ-diculous

We’ve got quite the interesting four-way battle for the NBA’s MVP award heading into the final month of the season. How do you split hairs between LeBron James (the best overall player…even if I didn’t believe that, do I really want to tempt the wrath of Susie B.?), Russell Westbrook (the single-most valuable player on any team who has delivered the most meaningful performances), James Harden (the leading scorer) and Stephen Curry (the modern-day Maravich who is leading the Warriors to the top berth in the West turns and heads downcourt before his threes even kiss the net)?

Well, you look at last night’s performance by Westbrook, playing with a broken facial bone that is somewhat less than 2.8 million years old, and you see that he had 49 points, 16 rebounds and 10 assists to lead the Thunders in an overtime win against Philly. That’s his fourth consecutive triple double. Also, he made THIS PLAY. Just five dribbles while catching the ball going the wrong way against his favored hand and still going coast to coast.

Westbrook, 26, now has 18 career triple doubles. Oscar Robertson, “The Big O,” retired with an NBA-record 181. Here are the 10 NBA players who lead that category all-time.

The Thunders are still in 8th place in the West. On one hand, I’d hate to see them face GSW in the first round. On the other, it would make the greatest 1-8 matchup in NBA history.

4. Conan in Cuba

As mentioned in yesterday’s IAH!, Conan O’Brien visited Cuba last month and the show aired on TBS last night. So, keeping score, Conan becomes the most famous Harvard alum since JFK to interact with the Cubans and probably this was the highest-profile case of an American in Cuba since Michael Corleone’s New Year’s Eve visit in The Godfather II.

Here’s a clip. Worth viewing.

5. Beep! Beep!

So I’m driving home from a wake last night with good family friend Jones (he’s so famous, one name will suffice) and he is telling me about an incident that happened to him along the Beeline Highway northeast of Phoenix some time ago. Jones was driving along and he spotted a roadrunner crossing the road (not too unusual). Not long after he came across a coyote crossing the road (a little more rare).

“And I thought to myself, ‘That cartoon is real,'” said Jones.

I wondered aloud if an Acme anvil fell near the vehicle.

Not an hour after that conversation, these set of rules by Roadrunner/Coyote creator Chuck Jones popped up on the Twitter. Extra eerie since both men are named Jones (Chuck passed away in 2002 at the age of 89; our Jones has many decades left).

Remote Patrol

Thunder at Bulls 

8 p.m. TNT

How much gas will Russell Westbrook have in the tank after last night’s 49-16-10 performance? Then again, who on the Bulls is going to stop him with both Derrick Rose AND Jimmy Butler out with injuries? Aaron Brooks? Tony Snell? Or will Joakim Noah volunteer for the assignment? I’m intrigued.