It’s the Chili’s Express version, as MH has a travel day…
Starting Five
1. Paisley Park
Carrie Underwood: “Do you like Arianna Grande?”
Brad Paisley: “No, I don’t drink coffee.”
That, plus a joke about America’s epidemic (“Post-partum Taylor Swift Disorder”) and a nod to the fact that the Country Music Awards, of all things, was pre-empting “Black-ish.” If Brad and Paisley ever want to revive the network television variety show, it’s waiting for them.
2. They Came To Splash
Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson go for 28 and 19, respectively, as the Warriors shoot out the walls of heartache (“Bang! Bang!”) in a 121-104 defenestration of the Clippers. It wasn’t that close. The Splash Brothers go a combined 8 of 8 from the free throw line, which makes them a combined 53 of 56 this season, or 94.6%. That new coach of theirs, Steve Kerr, did happen to be one of the great free throw shooters of all time.
p.s. Susie B., it’s great to have you back, but I’m not going to worry about the Cavs’ sniffles yet, okay? I’ll leave that to SportsCenter.
3. Where Artie Thou?
What the hell, Artie Lange? America’s somewhat favorite overweight, drug-addicted, crude Jersey native comic goes on a vulgar and misogynistic Twitter rant about First Ache host Cari Champion. Isn’t having to spend a couple of hours each day with Skip and Screamin’ A punishment enough?
4. The Medium Happy Eight
Mississippi State, Florida State, Auburn, Alabama, TCU, Oregon, Kansas State, Michigan State.
Your mileage may vary.
Notre Dame will greatly miss Joe Schmidt IV this Saturday at Sun Devil Stadium. Some great future players in the Irish’s back 7 (Jaylon Smith, Max Redfield, Nyles Morgan, Dru Tranquil) but there’s a great opportunity for Taylor Kelly to exploit all that inexperience.
5. Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
So AC/DC drummer Phil Rudd has been charged in New Zealand with conspiracy to commit murder (“If you’ve got a lady and you want her gone/But you ain’t got the guts”). We repeat, Phil Rudd. Not Paul Rudd. So don’t go canceling those plans to make Role Models II, Hollywood.
Remote Patrol
Spurs at Rockets
TNT (“I’m dynamite!” Can’t get those AC/DC tunes out of my head) 8 p.m.
Texas tussle between the defending champs, who looked less than sharp in a 2-point win at home against the Hawks last night, and the most impressive team of the season’s first week. Houston Hello! is 5-0 while only having played one home game thus far. James Harden making an early bid for MVP.
The MH8 is atrocious! Oh, what is that? Five of the top eight will play someone within the top eight? *Moves on with life…*
In all seriousness, though (is that possible when talking about a poll at the beginning of November?), if we look at the top 8 (or 10), wouldn’t it be best to examine the resume? If so, I’d say your top 3 is spot on. But where I differ is the placement of Alabama in respects to TCU and Kansas State.
Granted, I still consider myself a Big 12 native — and watch more of it compared to other conferences — but when one looks at the quality of wins by both Kansas State and TCU, in respect to Alabama, there should be no debate. Kansas State beat Oklahoma in Norman and TCU beat OU and won in Morgantown (no small feat).
In my opinion, the Big 12 is the second best conference in the country. I’ll take my chances with the Big 12’s top 4 (TCU, Kansas State, Oklahoma, Baylor) against anyone else’s top 4. Again, maybe there is bias. But, I strongly believe it is all rational.
I’ll get off my high horse and will carry on…
Speaking of “carrying on”, I am TRYING to emulate you guys (or the British) about LeBron/his current team with that “Keep Calm & Carry On” mantra (someone could make a small fortune selling those t-shirts outside The Q the next few weeks…) but GEEZE, the Cavs lost to last year’s WORST team in the Western conference- the Jazz! And according to all the b-ball media “experts” (oxymoron, I know), that team is supposed to be atrocious again this year.
I don’t know why everyone is tippytoeing around the ELEPHANT – Kyrie still wants to “be the man” & ain’t NOBODY gonna tell him how to play ball. What we have here is not a failure to communicate but a POWER struggle. In the Kingdom! Uh, was Kyrie asleep the last 3 months &/or not live in Northeast Ohio? He will NOT win a power play against LeBron on THAT team. Projection – by Sweet Pea’s big 3-0 birthday, if Kyrie hasn’t “gotten with the program”, HE will be going to another program in the not too distant future (yes, despite being last year’s All Star game’s MVP & this year’s MVP at the recent World championships). “So it is written, so it shall be done”. Um, I haven’t watched The Ten Commandments 30-40 times for naught. 🙂
I’d like to think of the Medium Happy 8 as what the Max Weinberg Seven is now, with an extra drummer. They miss the Conan days, but got some big checks out of it.
Artie Lange can’t be on ESPN anymore. Ever. You can be the kind of comedian who appears on ESPN, or you can be the kind of comedian who makes sexually explicit slavery jokes. Can’t be both. And it’s a really disturbing, awkward joke if it’s about a random, nameless woman as part of an awkward standup act. About an actual person that you’re tagging in the joke? There’s a bad misunderstanding of the boundaries of simple human decency to make that joke in any forum larger than your own mind.