STARTING FIVE

Dig it: I would not even think of touching Lena Dunham (the story, I mean…although now that I think about it, neither) with Katie standing in the on-deck circle. I trust Katie, who grew up with three sisters and even more brothers, to apply her typical mature, holistic and nurturing views to the Dunham kerfuffle. I’m sure we’ll all learn something….something disturbing.

 

1. Electoral Dysfunction: Koch Hold

The brothers behind Koch Industries, Charles and David Koch, finally spent a portion of their billions on TV ads last weekend. At least that’s the first I saw of it. The Wichita-based monolithic conglomerate infiltrated college football with ads that included lines such s “We’re still branching out into new fields” (politics, cough cough) and “You may not always see our names on the products” (senators, cough, congressmen, cough)…”

Good stuff.

There’s no way to know exactly how many millions of dollars the Kochs give to Super-PACs –they are not obliged to disclose that information –but this piece gives you an idea of just how much they pull the strings on election day. According to The Daily Show, the figure is approximately $290 million, or about It’s a completely broken system in which the only people eligible to fix it would be the very people who’d be most damaged by altering the system. Which is simply FUBAR.

This is why revolutions take place in third-world countries, by the way.

By the way, when Jon Stewart learned that the above ad was running on his air, he did the only thing worth doing: he trolled the ad. Seriously, if you’ve seen Michael Clayton, how is the Koch Industries ad much different than the one produced by U-North?

One final idea: It’s 2015 (Update: apparently, it’s still only 2014). Do we really still need to hold elections on Tuesdays after the harvest at elementary schools? Can I just hitch up my horse and walk in or must I take off my boots? Put polling centers at Starbucks, at Wal-Marts, at Targets (all American companies, by the way). Or find a way for people to vote on-line. It’s almost as if, dare I say it, the incumbents would prefer it if we didn’t vote. Hmm.

2. SI’s Twitter 100 (You’re Kidding, Right?)

Not on the list but definitely should be (we’ll adopt SI.com’s policy of recusing ourselves from consideration) and appearing in order of egregiousness of oversight:

Jason Gay, Wall Street Journal columnist @JasonWSJ

Cecil Hurt, Tuscaloosa News Bama beat writer @CecilHurt

Bomani Jones, world-class riler-upper @Bomani_Jones

Doug Gottlieb, CBS Sports, @Gottliebshow

Everybody from The Big Lead @TheBigLead including @JasonMcIntyre @Stephen_Douglas and @TyDuffy

Jeff Passan, Yahoo! Sports MLB columnist @JeffPassan

Stewart Mandel @slmandel and Pablo Torre @PabloTorre , both noted Sports Illustrated emigrants. And while I’m not a Jimmy Traina fan, he fits this category as well (and has more than 52,000 followers).

3. Et Tu, Jeptoo?

Kenyan marathoner Rita Jeptoo, winner of the past two Boston Marathons and Chicago Marathons, reportedly tested positive for EPO in an out-of-race drug test on September 25th. The positive “A” test could result in Jeptoo, 33, forfeiting her $500,000 prize as the women’s world marathon champion for 2014.

In the past three years, 18 Kenyan runners have failed drug tests. In the 19 years prior to 2012, a total of 18 Kenyan runners had failed drug tests. Kenya, you have some ‘splainin’ to do.

4. Men at Virk

So Adnan Virk sat in Keith Olbermann’s chair on Olbermann yesterday —an aside: there is no way on God’s green Earth that KO likes airing at 5 p.m. on ESPN2, opposite ATH each day; no way. And he’s right not to like it. Norby should put him in his natural Tom Snyder-like spot, some time after midnight, and guarantee viewers they will see him nightly, even if it’s not until 1 a.m. He’s getting buried at 5 p.m.— and used the provisional pulpit to hit a volley at...ESPN. And its “mandated” NFL coverage for “talent.”

Did Adnan clear this with Norby beforehand? And how did this go over in Bristolgrad? We’ll see…

5. That’s Abominable Snow, Man

The best part about the NBC Nightly News clip explaining what weather stud Mike Seidel was really doing on air is that Brian Williams used the euphemism “writing his name in the snow.” And, trust me, from someone who has had to “cross the ‘t'”, dotting the i’s would not have been easy.

Remote Patrol

My Favorite Blonde

TCM 9:30 p.m.

With a title like that, you have to at least check it out. Bob Hope, Madeleine Carroll in a farce involving Nazi spies and a performing penguin. Made in 1942, at the outset of our involvement in World War II. Americans weren’t so damn sensitive back then.