Starting Five
1. “I throw my hands up in the air sometimes/Saying, ‘Te’o!’/He can play, oh!/” What do you call a Hawaiian kid of Mormon faith playing middle linebacker at a school with a French sobriquet that dubs its teams the “Fighting Irish?” All-American. Notre Dame, led by Manti Teo’s 12 tackles, silences No. 10 Michigan State in East Lansing, 20-3.
Heisman candidate?
2. Peter Brady hosting Saturday Night Live’s season premiere? Actually, it was “Family Guy” creator Seth MacFarlane, who killed. Some of us really appreciated the “Farrah Fawcett, will you go out with me?” line.
Every girl in our 7th-grade class had this ‘do.
3. The USC band’s drum major underwent a pre-game breathalyzer test and things only deteriorated from there. Southern California loses to Stanford for the fifth time in the past six years. Suddenly Troy’s national title hopes and quarterback Matt Barkley’s Heisman candidacy are in greater peril than $4-per-gallon gasoline in the Southland.
4. Oh, he had a happy birthday alright. Beaverton (Ore.) Aloha High School running back Thomas Tyner rushes for 634 yards and 10 touchdowns on his 18th birthday. The Warriors defeated Lakeridge 84-63 and we fervently hope this game is replayed in its entirety.
5. When it was Alabama 38, Arkansas 0 on Saturday, we tweeted this: “Is it too early to name Jessica Dorrell the Chevy Player of the Game?”
The Reserves
Reviews of all the games featuring teams in the Top 25 10:
1. Alabama (3-0) magnetic-zeroes Arkansas, 52-0
The Tide are the first opponent to shut out the Hogs in Fayetteville since October, 1966.
2. USC (2-1) is Redd-uced at No. 21 Stanford, 21-14
Now what does Silas Redd do? Cardinal senior class will graduate having never lost to USC. The last senior class at any Pac-12 school from any year that can say that, to our knowledge, is the ’89 class from UCLA.
“Do we have a play for fourth-and-40?”
3. LSU (3-0) does not spudder versus Idaho, 63-14
Last week Washington, this week Idaho. Who’s next week, Montana? Mike the Tiger is yawning.
4. Oregon (3-0) trails Tennessee Tech before winning, 63-14
This Tim Day authentic locker panel could be yours for just $50.02. (Did Phil Knight’s last check bounce?)
5. Florida State (3-0) preaches defense to the Demon Deacons, 52-0
The Seminoles lead the nation in all five of the most vital defensive categories (Scoring, Total, Rush, Pass, Pass Efficiency)
6. Oklahoma (2-0), idle
7. Georgia (3-0) dawgs Florida Atlantic, 56-20
On the season Todd Gurley has 287 yards — on just 28 carries. That’s 10 yards per carry.
Gurley. Man.
8. South Carolina (3-0) hammers UAB, 49-6.
The Gamecocks say QB Connor Shaw’s shoulder is “bruised.” He says it’s a “slight fracture.” Dr. Lou, your diagnosis?
9. West Virginia (2-0) inaugurates ’12 James Madison to defeat, 42-14
Geno Smith, who played in home of Redskins yesterday, is this September’s RGIII: nine TD passes and nine INCs on the season.
10. Michigan State (2-1) succumbs to No. 20 Notre Dame, 20-3
Fighting Irish win their first road game versus a ranked team since 2005, move to 3-0 for first time since 2002.