STARTING FIVE
Mario Gotze’s control-and-finish was a thing of beauty in the 113th minute, but Andre Schurrle’s cross into the box was every bit as spectacular.
1. “SIEG!”
Portugal, 4-0. Brazil, 7-1. Argentina, 1-0.
Germany outscored its Portuguese or Spanish-speaking opposition 12-1 en route to the World Cup championship. That’s Ger-MANY goals. It was actually Ghana (2-2), USA (1-0), Algeria (2-1) and France (1-0) who provided them stiffer competition. Or maybe it was just a matter of when die Mannschaft was on, they were unstoppable.
For the record, Germany won World Cup and 60% of USA’s goals were scored by Americans who were born and raised in Germany.
Germany was the best team in the tournament. They deserved it. Meanwhile, the Men in Blazers arrived back home to “the crap part of SoHo” and provided this black tie Boot Room Extra.
Coming to World Cup 2018: Jim Boeheim wants 128 nations to get in, while Mike Slive thinks that two SEC teams should get in (kudos to @theFishstache). Meanwhile, does Pussy Riot play before the final?
2. The Son Holds the Sun
“He’s got the whole world (or center of our solar system) in his hands/ He’s got the…”
Here’s how I imagined the conversation going:
“I am the light of the world.”
“NO! I am the light of the world.”
“My dad made you!”
“Your dad made you.”
“I am Who am.”
“Today is Sun-day. When you get one day per week named after you, as opposed to one day per year, get back to me.”
Didn’t you love when the ABC director could not avoid the temptation to return for a second helping of this admittedly spectacular shot? And Ian Darke was annoyed –Darke opposes Light! Good job, FIFA writers –so that when they finally returned to the game, he cheekily intoned, “Germany leads, two-nil.”
3. LeBron James, 007 & Vladimir Putin Walk Into a Room…
Gisele, a Brazilian of German descent, was a no-brainer. But who’s that guy standing next to her?
How about that FIFA World Cup final guest list? Putin, King James, Daniel Craig, Ashton Kutcher, Wyclef Jean, Arash Markazi, Shakira, Gisele AND Adriana Lima (those FIFA executives are no dummies; evil, but no dummies). Here’s the entire list…
Oh, it was studded with stars….
Game 3, 1996 NBA Finals, Bulls at Sonics. I’m trailing Bob Costas for two days for a story in Entertainment Weekly. After the telecast, Bob and Julius Erving stroll into a luxury box at Key Arena with me in tow. Here’s who’s in the room besides those two: Cindy Crawford (and a friend), Dennis Rodman and three members of Pearl Jam, including Eddie Vedder.
Jocks/Rock stars/Film stars/Supermodels. It’s their world. The rest of us just live in it.
4. Not So Fast, My Fiend
I only hand out balls to the ladies. You should know that by now.
While he was standing in the on-deck circle in the fourth inning of last night’s game at Camden Yards, The Captain, Derek Jeter, decided to hand a baseball (don’t know if it was autographed or not) to a little girl who was seated in the second row. A dude in an Orioles shirt seated in the front row attempted to intercept it, and it’s hilarious how quickly Jeets pulled it back from the dude’s grasp. Two things struck me:
1) You’d think after the entire Tony Tarasco-Jeffrey Maier fiasco (that’s Costas on the call) that dudes in Orioles shirts would have learned (by the way, Maier did not actually catch it).
2) If there’s one thing we know about the future Hall of Famer, it is that he only bequeaths baseballs to the ladies.
p.s. The little girl did receive the ball and the Yanks lost 3-1 after the game was called with no outs in the bottom of the fifth after a 2 hour, 20 minute rain delay.
p.p.s. Is this the best ad of the year?
5. Emma Coburn Notice
Coburn’s 9:11:42 broke Jenny Simpson’s five year-old American record by more than one second
I’m not sure whether Emma Coburn looks more like she should be starring in an Alfred Hitchcock film or auditioning for The Bellas.
Either way, the 23 year-old Colorado native and alum is stunningly beautiful. She is also now, after Saturday’s meet in Glasgow, the fastest 3,000-meter steeplechaser is American history. While Coburn finished second to Ethiopia’s Hiwot Ayelew, her time broke the U.S. record of her New Balance teammate Jenny Simpson. Coburn now owns the first, third, fourth, fifth and sixth-fastest times in the steeplechase, as difficult a race as there is in track, in U.S. annals.
Oh, and it should be noted that her boyfriend’s name is Joe Bosshard.
Coburn should definitely be more well-known. Can you work on that, NBC?
Where in the World?
Friday: The Pantheon, Rome
Hint: If you guessed the Dolomites, try again.
***
Happy Birthday (and Happy Bastille Day) to Dan Smith, the lead singer of Bastille, whose hit single is about a city that is NOT located in France. Just to be clear, for any Upper West Side residents reading this, this is NOT the same Dan Smith who “will teach you guitar.”
Remote Patrol
Backpackers
CW 8:30 p.m.
The show I pitched, “Barackpackers”, in which POTUS and SCOTUS tour Europe separately, was not picked up.
While ESPN airs the Home Run Derby (“A Cespedes for the Rest of Us”), even better summer escapist fare may be this trek through Europe. An engaged couple decides to backpack through Europe –separately– to test their bond before marriage. Duuuuude! Head to Amsterdam, like, pronto!
Some say that the US’ main language is Spanish
I’ve been to the Pantheon? Is it bad that I know there’s a McDonald’s just a block away. Not saying I ate there, just that I remember its juxtaposition …
Sorry. No question mark. I’ve been to the Pantheon.
I am a fan of Mark Cavendish, Andy Schleck, Alberto Contador, & LeBron James on the Heat (NOT the Cavs!). The past 10 days have been brutal. Only Brazil can feel my pain. 🙁
How does one know Messi is NOT from Northeast Ohio? He didn’t “EARN” everything he’s been given.
So says ‘susie the Slacker’ from Maryland. Personally, I hope LBJ DOES singlehandedly reverse a 50 year socio-economic trend & all the millions of Ohioans that invade the Washington DC area every freakin year like locusts without an almanac, GO HOME.
But hey, I’m not bitter! Since I’m not from Northeast Ohio, I’m too busy waiting for my next handout.
I do have a piece of advice for the next pro athlete who is about the crush the hearts of his/her fans (for the 2nd time in 4 years) – can you not at LEAST say a word of THANKS to the ONLY folks who embraced, cheered, supported, & defended you when many/most of the rest of the country did nothing but spit, curse, & hate?
And sure, thank the “brothers for life” & insist they won’t be forgotten. When they finally realize you think they are washed up & nothing but a hindrance to the continuation of your reign, just click your heels THREE TIMES & say
THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!
THERE’s NO PLACE LIKE HOME!
THERE’s NO PLACE LIKE HOME!
That apparently is the Magic Key to forgiveness. As deemed by the Good Witch TV MEDIA.
Notice how ALL the free agents are now talking about WHERE THEIR HEARTS ARE? I’m waiting for the 1st guy who says his is OVER THE RAINBOW.
Tour talk -Pre-Tour favorites have fallen left & right (literally). The Italian guy, Nibali (I & other fans call him Nibbles), won today’s mt stage & is back in yellow. His nickname is The Shark. It’s been raining over there for the past 7 days. What’s it all mean?
SHARKNADO – the Euro edition!
For the record, when I 1st heard/read of LeBron quitting (ok, ‘abandoning’, oh, alright, ‘leaving’) the Heat for the Cavs, I was just disappointed & sad. Until I went home & watched the coverage on ESPN.
Apparently, the “story arc” (STORY ARC!) demands that LeBron James now be cast in the part of hero, NO OTHER THEME ALLOWED. One blowhard after another made their appearances, waxing orgasmic at “The Essay” & the “Return Home of the King”. Not even at the peak of Tebowmania, have I witnessed such an undending display of ass-kissing, pandering & genuflecting on national (ok, cable) TV. I had pretty much calmed down when I regrettably watched The Sports Reporters on Sunday morning.
Fine, LeBron James, poster boy for the BOOMERANG generation is going home. Yes, he crushed the hearts of his home area fans four years ago, but… IT WAS THE RIGHT DECISION! Sure, the televised “Decision” was nauseating & tone-deaf hubris, but at least he TOLD THE TRUTH about why he was leaving – to win championships. And if he hadn’t, hell, he’d be Carmelo Anthony today. Plus, not only did his time in the sun enhance his professional career, it FORCED him to become an adult, away from the codding hometown enablers. BEST thing that he could have done.
Anyway, now he’s going back. For redemption? Because he’s just a good ole boy from Ohio & misses them/it all TOO much? Because he NOW wants his kids to grow up there? Yeah, whatever. What has really sent me over the edge (besides the slobbering by all on ESPN) is the constant refrain that EVERYBODY is HAPPY! EVERYBODY LOVES THIS DECISION! Happy, happy, love, love, hugs all ’round! More than one of the TV talkers actually harumphed that Heat fans are “NOT ALLOWED” to be upset/angry. Nope, they are supposed to be HAPPY too & “GRATEFUL” for the 4 years the King blessed them with his presence. Bullshit. Sure, they should be grateful he brought them championships, it was FANTASTIC, but do NOT tell these people they have no right to be upset/unhappy! This guy TOLD them he was there to win, say it with me – “NOT TWO, not 3, not 4, not 5, not 6, not 7”. He is leaving before the job is even half-accomplished. (Where I come from, granted, not the vaunted Northeast Ohio, that’s called “quitting”). And WITHOUT so much as a thank-you on the way out. Maybe he didn’t learn so much after all. But, compared to the media, he’s a prince if not a true King.
Susie – are there any americans waiting in the wings to be competitors in the TdF in years to come?
Hi Okerland, there are 2 young American hopefuls riding in the Tour this year – Tejay van Garderen & Andrew Talansky. Unfortunately, both have spent time tangoing with the tarmac the past 10 days & their podium hopes are fading if not abolished for this year. HOWEVER, the way the top GC guys are “disappearing” in this race, Tejay could find himself next in line for the actual win! Actually, for that to really happen, Jack Bauer would have to be hiding in the woods with a sniper scope, but this Tour has quickly become something I haven’t seen since 2006, with ALL the pre-Tour GC faves out of the race. Of course, back then, they were removed the day BEFORE the race began.
Nibbles should have been one of the pre-Tour faves too as he’s won 2 other Grand Tours in the past 3 years & had even podiumed in the Tour. However, he’d not had a “good Spring” & in his pre-Tour tune-up race, he was less than mediocre. Of course, you never want to peak BEFORE the Tour, so that doesn’t mean too much, but I have to say, I’m “curious” about his Tour domination so far.
“Curious” btw, is code for cycling fans who wonder if the guy is DOPED. Also, his team is surprisingly strong & most damning of all, he rides for Astana, whose manager is Vino (Vinokourov), the Kazahk who NEVER stopped attacking in his career (thrilling to fans), but was on a team that was barred in 2006 (OP case), came back in 2007 & whose team was thrown OUT of that Tour after several positive tests. The Kazahk “cycling federation” basically cleared him & he was back in the peloton the following year. Of course he doped, they ALL doped back then. But he STILL doesn’t just deny everything, he gets outraged that anyone dares question. And this is the guy whose team will probably win this year’s Tour.
Anyway, I don’t know a lot about the youngsters on the American “development” teams, but from things I’ve read, there are some stage racing types in there. You have to have a distinct & unique set of skills to actually win a Grand Tour & 90% of pro cyclists do not have them. That’s true with or without doping. There are also guys who come from “nowhere”, are discovered in a minor race, happen to have those skills & the next thing you know, they are riding in the Tour – see Andrew Talansky. From that famous mountainous area known as Key Biscayne. 🙂