STARTING FIVE
Uh-oh, Marcelo
1. Own Goooooooooooooooooooooooooalllllllll!!!!!!!
Brazil defeated Croatia in the World Cup opener yesterday 3-1, but it was not pretty. And Brazilians are obsessed with pretty. Selecao, which entered play having scored more goals than any country in the history of the World Cup, scored just 11 minutes into the match–on itself. Marcelo’s own goal was the first in Brazil’s World Cup history.
Neymar (2 goals) bailed out Brazil, as did the Japanese referee.
2. Worldwide Leader in Pouty
There’s team chemistry trouble, so someone will probably fire Doug Collins again
The NBA Finals itself has become laser surgery. All three Spurs victories have come by no fewer than 15 points (in fact, all but four of their 11 playoff wins have been decided by at least that much) and they led by 21 and 19 at halftime, respectively, in Games 3 and 4, at Miami.
The games itself are precision bores. No fault of the Spurs or LeBron.
What has been intriguing is ESPN’s attempt to fit so many egos –Screamin’ A, Stuart Scott, Wilbon and not least of all, Bill Simmons–into one traveling party. Last night Simmons won the night’s Petulant Child after the game as he whined, “Do I get to speak now? It’s been like, 10 minutes.”
Sage’s “See what I have to deal with?” mug
The look on Sage Steele’s face. “Bill, do we need to put you into a timeout corner?”
In Simmons’ defense, he did have the conch. So he should’ve been allowed to talk sooner.
And, of course, Deadspin and The Big Lead jumped all over this.
Here’s hoping Steele treats Simmons to high tea at American Girl later today and everyone gets over it.
3. Party of $$$$
Ki$$ my grits
Priceline.com purchases Open Table, whose stock price (OPEN) spikes from $70 per share at the close of trading yesterday to $103 today. Or about 47%. All for a company whose main job is to spare you the trouble of looking up a restaurant’s phone number.
4. My Son, My Sun
Scott and Maverick. If the latter makes the cut at Pinehurst, it’s everyone’s Father’s Day story.
Maverick McNealy is an engineering student at Stanford who happens to be playing in the U.S. Open. His caddie is his father, Scott, who happens to be a co-founder of Sun Microsystems. So whether or not Maverick makes the cut– he was four over-par when play began today– he won’t have to worry about paying his caddie. Scott McNealy’s estimated worth is $1 billion.
5. Oh Mighty ISIS
I don’t know if anyone at SI.com or ESPNor even Grantland has yet succumbed to Terrorist Group Power Rankings yet, but you’d have to at least give ISIS a nod for fastest riser. This week the Sunni-backed militant group overtook Mosul, an Iraqi city of some 2 million people, while also lifting $450 million in a bank heist (no word yet on whether they used ex-presidents’ Halloween masks).
All of this is bad news, by the way.
Remote Patrol
NCAA Track & Field Championships
ESPNU 7 p.m.
Bates bounces back
From Hayward Field, where after one day the hosts are setting the pace in both the men’s and women’s competition. Hoping they’ll show last night’s women’s 10,000-meter final, in which Boise State’s Emma Bates was passed with 50 meters to go by the fastest woman in the race, UAB’s Elinor Kirk, but found a gear she didn’t know she possessed to come back and win the race. “I just wanted it that bad,” said Bates.
It wasn’t a “whine” it was a HUFF. And I agreed with him. The way ESPN is doing their post-game NBA Finals coverage is pathetic. 1st, they switch from ABC to ESPN immediately after the game ends (although sometimes not), often WITHOUT telling the viewer. You finally click over there when your local news appears on the ABC channel & over on ESPN, you see just regular Sports Center, which confuses you, & then they flip back & forth to the Countdown crew, SCREAMIN A & Wilbon, coach & player press conferences, back to SC with OTHER sports news & clips (!), back to the Countdown crew, around & around & around. It’s AWFUL. And then there’s the TOTAL LACK OF CHEMISTRY between Sage & Bill that has been an unending source of amused disdain throughout the entire season.
About the, well, I guess it was technically a basketball game & not Massacre in Miami nor a new version of Slaughterhouse Five – I actually clicked out of it at the end of the 1st quarter because I just couldn’t take it & didn’t click back until midway thru the 3rd. By then I was so stunned, I was numb. No tears like last year in the final minutes of Game 6 when I shockingly thought we were actually going to lose (until the final 28 seconds arrived), just a sinking malaise, pretty much EXACTLY how most of the Heat were playing. In the FINALS. At HOME.
I’ve read & heard that the Spurs are playing “perfect”, selfless basketball, yadda, yadda, yadda. To tell you the truth, I’ve been so shocked & obsessed with the Heat’s foul play during these last 2 HOME games, their opponents could have been aliens, cartoon characters or Republican congressmen (indistinguishable, no?). I guess the Spurs ARE playing great but I don’t recognize the team in white & whatever it is they are doing, except for painful flashbacks of some regular season games when I worried they wouldn’t even make it thru the Playoffs let alone win another championship.
The only bright spot is that at least this 2 game debacle is not LeBron’s fault. Not to say he played spectacularly, as he committed too many turnovers, was a bit sloppy at times on offense, didn’t always hustle back on defense (last night was particularly painful) & most of all, didn’t kick himself into higher gear UNTIL the games were mostly or totally out of reach. Still, HE was the only player that played even halfway decent in both games. D-Wade? HAH! Yeah, “saving/protecting” him all season for THIS? I don’t agree with all that Simmons says but I completely agree with his opinion (which he’s been stating for the past 6 weeks or so) that the Heat erred in relying on LeBron far too much in the regular season & virtually turned Sweet Pea into a workhorse.
When I was very young, we still had a couple of plow horses on the farm. Do you know what they’d do when they’d “had enough” for the day? They would just STOP. Right in the middle of a row. The ONLY way you could get them to move was to take off the harness. Maybe Spo & Riley need a quick agricultural history seminar.
The most upsetting thing is NOT the loss, but that the Heat are playing SO far under their “potential”. You (well, NOT you, but a devoted fan) KNOW they are better than this & are powerless to do anything to help them, so you’re left with bitching, moaning, &/or sniffling. I can tell you 1 more thing – as crushing & shocking as these last 2 games have been, if I’d been AT the game, I damn sure would NOT HAVE LEFT! These guys won TWO CHAMPIONSHIPS! Four straight Finals! R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Plus, if I’d paid all that money for the seat? They’d be turning the lights out before I hauled my carcass up the aisle. 🙂