STARTING FIVE

1. Rockin’ Good Time

Five more memorable moments from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony to add to Annie Clark’s vocals on “Lithium”, as noted here yesterday:

1. Chris Martin’s Induction of Peter Gabriel

In which the Coldplay lead singer reads from “the Book of Genesis.” I don’t care what Gwyneth thinks, I’ve never seen Martin not be a cheeky and amiable bloke.

2. Gabriel’s Performance of “In Your Eyes” with Youssou N’Dour

If there were a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for songs alone, this would be a first ballot Hall of Famer.

 

3. Tom Morello’s Induction of KISS

An enthused and impassioned speech from a lifelong fan. Love when Morello noted that “tonight, it’s the Rock and Roll all night and party every day Hall of Fame.” You have to watch Morello’s speech.

 

4. The Queentet Saluting Linda Ronstadt

Carrie Underwood, Bonnie Raitt, Emmylou Harris (megababe, at any age), Sheryl Crow and Stevie Nicks do a medley of her top hits. No voice was stronger than Crow’s, and there must have been knowing grins when it was decided (by whom, I don’t know) that Lance Armstrong’s ex would take the lead vocals on “You’re No Good.” The top tune, though, was “When Will I Be Loved.”

5. Bruce’s Induction of the E Street Band

 

A funny, nostalgic and often sobering salute to his band mates. Bruce notes that when he himself was inducted that Steve Van Zandt argued that he shouldn’t enter alone. “Steve said to me, ‘But ‘Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band’, that’s the legend.” SVZ was right, and you could see it in Bruce’s face that he’d long realized his vanity and mistake.

A testament to the Band’s perseverance? As Nils Lofgren, who’s been a member of the E Street Band for 30 years put it, “I’m the new guy.”

2. Peter King’s Landing

A wonderful and candid look back at his first 25 years at Sports Illustrated by Peter King. I don’t know they were unable to procure a number on the helmet (73) that matched the one on the shoulder pads (67), but otherwise a worthwhile read.

3. We’ve Got to Pivot

Never mind for a moment that the actor who plays Jared on “Silicon Valley” is a clean-shaven Kevin Love. Let’s examine the final few episodes of HBO’s rookie show, a tech-flavored “Entourage.” After shooting four episodes, or half  its load, the series was severely stricken by the death of actor Christopher Evan Welch, who played the wonderfully quirky angel investor Peter Gregory.

Meanwhile, in the season finale, the boys at Pied Piper are severely undone when Gavin Belson (arch-nemesis type) unveils Nucleus with its 2.89 Weissman score (apparently, this is meaningful; the only Weissman I know is Michael Weisman, and I don’t think of him as a unit).

So there they are, on the eve of the finals of Battletech Start Up or whatever you call it. They have to put together a 10-minute presentation, but they don’t really have a product any more. Sound familiar? The creator, Richard Hendrix (Mike Judge?) is lost and defeated. The engineers (the writers?) are out of ideas and without guidance, so they start doing the closest thing allowable to jacking off, which is creating an equation for jacking off.

The verisimilitude merited its own Weissman score. Judge and his writers, out of ideas and perhaps still grieving, simply used their own dilemma to be the show’s plot to get it through the end of the season. Now, with some time before Season 2 is due, here’s hoping they heed Jared’s warning and learn “to pivot.”

 

4. God Doesn’t Do Focus Groups

Some very wise people are trying to warn us about the dehumanizing and demoralizing effects of consultants, feedback, sales force meetings, focus groups and corporate life in particular. Here’s McSweeney’s and here’s The New Yorker with some good satire on the folly of it all.

When I noted to loyal MH reader –and occasional contributor — An Inconvenient Ruth that God probably will not get a second round of funding, she shot back, “Certainly not from angel investors.” And that’s why she’s my friend.

5. Truly Nolan

That’s Katie Nolan. She has a fabulous rack, doesn’t she? And she’s comely. Take those two traits, add a dash of snarky humor and a quasi-national platform (Fox Sports 1), and you can be sure that no blogger or media critic will chastise her for this performance in which she basically calls Derek Jeter a deadbeat dad.

It’s not that we don’t get the joke: She’s made Rick Reilly a target before and she was lampooning his “Letter to Derek Jeter’s Unborn Children.” Except that this crossed the line. Because DJ actually does have unborn children, by definition; whereas he does not have any born children of which anyone is aware.

So this is tantamount to slander, if not actually so.

Jeter is, besides one of the best players ever to put on a baseball uniform, a rich, handsome and extremely successful bachelor who has spent nearly the past two decades in New York City, a city so overloaded with smart and attractive females that even I can land a date here…on occasion.

So DJ has had more conquests than the average male…or baseball team in total. But here’s the thing: he’s never pretended to be anything other than who he is. He’s never paraded his wife at functions only to be unfaithful to her; has never struck her in an elevator and then asked her to sit next to him on the podium and apologize.

If you’re going to take down more famous, wealthy and successful people than yourself, stick to the hypocrites…the liars…and the venal. There’s plenty of them. Once you start poking around in other people’s sex lives and mocking them, you best be ready to have your own become public record.

So, no, “Awful Announcing”, Katie didn’t “own” anyone. And if she were at a real sports network, with a real sports producer, they’d have asked her to grow up. Because having sex with more than one partner over the course of two decades is a little bit different than having children out of wedlock and then never seeing them or having to be dragged into court to pay child support. There are plenty of those you can go after.

Remote Patrol

2001: A Space Odyssey

TCM 8 p.m.

Does anyone ever watch beyond the dialogue-free opening evolution scene? Is there any reason to do so? I know it’s a classic, but I usually flip after “Thus Spoke Zarathustra.” Maybe tonight you and I will give it a go? Open the pod bay doors, Ginsberg!