STARTING FIVE
Opening play: Follow the non-bouncing ball.
1. True Defective
Peyton Manning’s team loses a Super Bowl game in which he tosses a pick-six and his team is embarrassed on the second-half kickoff? While his counterpart quarterback is a man who stands less than six-feet tall? Why, yes, Super Bowl XLVIII was played on Groundhog Day, why do you ask? “Mrs. Lancaster, do you ever have deja vu?” “I don’t know, I’ll have to check with the kitchen.”
43-8, and according to ESPN’s Nate Silver, the first such final score in NFL history. The Broncos just spent the least productive three-plus hours in New Jersey since three lanes of the George Washington Bridge toll booths were closed last September.
Honestly, I had to wait an extra week for the fourth episode of “True Detective” for this???
2 PSH, RIP
Hoffman leaves behind a number of memorable roles and, sadly, three young children.
“Good-looking people, they got no spine. Their art never lasts. They get the girls, but we’re smarter” –Philip Seymour Hoffman, as Lester Bangs in Almost Famous.
Actor Philip Seymour Hoffman, 46, found dead in a West Village apartment, apparently of a drug overdose. Truly gifted. From his awkwardly brilliant supporting role as Scottty in Boogie Nights, where most of us first met him, to iconic roles as Lester Bangs in Almost Famous — “Hey, I met you. You are not cool” — and as the CIA operative in Charlie Wilson’s War, he was never less than captivating. Hoffman won a Best Actor Oscar for the title role in Capote, but that’s far from his most memorable role or film.
Two of his better scenes, the first from Almost Famous and the latter from Charlie Wilson’s War.
3. Seth Meyers’ SNL Goodbye
Meyers, the most well-adjusted male star in SNL history?
It’s incredible to think of it, but can you imagine a figure such as Seth Meyers, a handsome, affable, well-adjusted guy who could be elected class president, in the same role as John Belushi? And yet they played it: the heart of “Saturday Night Live”. That’s how former “Weekend Update” co-anchor Amy Poehler described the show’s head writer, on-air, during his final appearance, for the past 12 years.
Meyers has that rare ability to be presentable to the girlfriend’s parents and yet be totally comfortable, and just as funny, hanging with the freaks and geeks, who adore him just as much. He’s been the James Franco of “Saturday Night Live” for awhile now. My favorite moment of the sendoff (stick around for the final cameo here) was when Stephon hissed at Cecily Strong, “You barely know him!”
4. “…Has Joined The Meeting”
Naturally, the older dude is the one with no clue as to how to dial in his access code.
Excellent sketch, spot-on parody of the much-loathed conference call by a group called Leadercast.
5. Howard Turns 60
Beth rocks the perfect outfit for the final day of January in New York City.
King of All Media Howard Stern actually turned 60 on January 12, but he waited until the Friday night before the Super Bowl to throw a bash. It’s fests such as this for which the term “star-studded” was invented, as everyone from David Letterman to the Jimmys, Fallon and Kimmel, to Robert Downey, Jr., to Heidi Klum, to a from-beyond-the-mortal-coil Larry King, to well as Stern’s wife, abs-olutely beautiful Beth Ostrosky Stern, were there at the Hammerstein Ballroom.
All in all, last week was a great week to be a limo driver in New York City.
Reserves
With his lap dog, “Mr. Brady.” Ouch, babe.
Frank Caliendo’s “30 For 30” on Richard Sherman. Hilarious impersonations of Ron Jaworski, Bill Belichick and especially Chris Berman inside. This was all filmed from Caliendo’s Phoenix-area home, I’m assuming.
****
Hey, Guy, You’re Ray Guy
Guy sent more objects into space than NASA did in the Seventies.
Former Oakland Raider punter Ray Guy becomes the first player at that position to be voted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame, and I’m down with that. There was no more interesting team than the mid-1970s Raiders, and Guy, an outstanding athlete who just happened to be a non pareil punter, was just one of the quirky characters in Silver & Black. Ray Guy is why the term “hang time” was invented. The best there ever was.
***
The 9/11 Truther who hijacked, albeit briefly, Super Bowl MVP Malcolm Smith’s post-game presser. Exactly how did he get that close and how did he not bark, “Ba-ba-booey?” By the way, now Malcolm Smith and his older brother, Steve, each have a Super Bowl ring. As opposed to Peyton Manning and his younger brother, Eli, now having two.
The Hall
Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner
1937: Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P.
1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B
1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF
1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B
1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B
1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B
1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B
1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P
1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P
1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul
1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF
1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P
1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS
1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B
1951:
Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; 1903-1916, Six teams, primarily Cubs
Brown’s nickname was no misnomer, as he lost parts of two fingers on his pitching hand due to a childhood farm machinery accident. One of a three-fingered handful of pitchers in baseball history to be in the all-time top ten in both ERA (2.057, 6th) and WHIP (1.0658, 9th). Had a career record of 239-130.
Josh Gibson, C; 1930-1946, Homestead Grays
Larry Doby, the first black to integrate the American League, would later say that Gibson was superior to Jackie Robinson.
“The black Babe Ruth” was considered by far the best power-hitter in the history of the Negro Leagues. Statistical verification is impossible, but it was said that he clouted in the neighborhood of 800 home runs. Gibson died of a stroke at the age of 35, just three months before Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier.
Remote Patrol
Sports Illustrated Swimsuit: 50 Years of Beautiful
NBC 9 p.m.
Will great Dane Nina Agdal grace the cover of the 50th anniversary SI swimsuit issue?
The titillating story of how a monolithic magazine came up with a genius idea to sell copies during the doldrums of February and in one fell swoop bring in as much ad revenue as it would otherwise have in about six months. Years ago they used to have us reporters “escort” the models from their hotels to the site of the bash. Such random fix-ups over the years resulted in a grand total of zero marriages and 1,254 “Excuse me, I must go see about a thing.”
Dreadful. Sums up the game & my feelings about the SB being in NYC. Hated the entire week. Truly a SB locale for the 1%ers. I wasn’t sure who would win but must say never thought it would go quite like that. Ooof. Since I’d wanted Peyton to win but Elway to lose, guess I can say I won 50-50? Better than the Broncos’s scoring.
The best thing the entire night (even better than Bruno) was the TV camera finding Elway in his suite after Harvin ran back the 3rd quarter kickoff for a touchdown. The look on his face was PRICELESS. ‘Payback’s a bitch!’ laughed all the Tebow fans.
And very sad about PSH.
PSH died 35 years to the day after Sid Vicious passed… also of a heroin overdose… also in a West Village Apt.
Sad for his friends and family. He certainly left behind some great art.
More harsh coincidence: Lester Bangs (who also died of an overdose) once wrote that the Vicious penned, Sex Pistols live version of the song, “Belson Was a Gas,” was the most frightening thing he’d ever heard. The lyric that spooked him was, “Kill someone/Kill yourself”.