January, you’ve overstayed your welcome. You…get…OUTTA…HERE!
STARTING FIVE
Hardaway, Jr., drained six treys last night. Just like his old man used to do…
1. Beware of…The Knicks?
Granted, they’ve played Los Angeles, Boston and the Cleveland Cadavaliers at MSG this week, but the Knicks, it appears, have finally paid their tabs at The Dutch and Lavo and appear interested in hoops again. In their last two games they’ve led by 26 and 24 at halftime and have now won four in a row.
Oh, and Tim Hardaway, Jr., is on the cusp of being the most popular Knick since Jeremy Lin. The rookie swingman-now-sixth man drained a career-high 29 last night, and brings a friskiness and athleticism to NYK that’s long been dormant. Yes, Ama’re has been on the bench for all of this.
Of course he has.
By the way, I tuned in for the final 10 seconds of the first quarter last night. Metta World Peace missed both his free throws, then fouled Jarrett Jack in the back court even though the Knicks did not have a foul to give. Some things never change.
The Knicks (19-27 and now just a half-game out of the final playoff spot) host Miami tomorrow night with a slew of NFL VIPs in attendance. This should be good.
2. Tina and Jerry’s Blind Date
They should have invited Tracy Jordan and Kramer to join them.
The latest edition of “Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee” features my neighborhood’s two most successful sitcom creators/stars: Jerry Seinfeld and Tina Fey. It’s not awesome, but as a resident of the Upper West Side (UWS), I howled at Tina’s assertion that “If you walk along the Upper West Side, you will never see a truly good-looking person.”
Alas, she’s right. There may be three. I could name them for you.
Also, this plays mostly like an awkward blind date. Jerry is doing most of the heavy lifting, and they even repair to a second spot as Jerry attempts to salvage the rendezvous after Tina confides that she loves food as a reward (Cronut time).
You may be tempted to close the link after five minutes. Don’t. If anything, stick around or fast forward to The Very End. That’s when Tina shares the one anecdote that saves the entire episode. I’m still laughing about it.
3. Sara Bareilles, Shannon Osboune and Jonah Hill’s Brother…
Sometimes, “Say what you wanna say” is not the best tack to take.
If you search my list of “Unfettered Adoration”, Sara Bareilles is pretty high up on it. She’s genuine and an old soul, and her performances at the 2012 R&R Hall of Fame inductions and at last Sunday’s Grammys speak to this. Watch her giddy clap at the end –she’s genuinely thrilled to be crossing “Perform with Carole King” off the bucket list. If you’re a song writer, how could you not be?
So yesterday must have been tough for her: she had to fire her manager.
On Saturday night at a pre-Grammys dinner that manager, Jordan Feldstein, who happens to be Jonah Hill’s brother, got into it with Kelly Osbourne after he made a remark about her brother, Jack. And then Mama Bear arrived.
Sharon Osbourne stalked over, then overturned Feldstein’s plate of food into his lap. As he walked away, she tried to douse him with water while yelling, “You don’t mess with the Osbournes!”
SHA-ROOOOHHNN!!
Crazy train, indeed!
Bareilles terminated Feldstein’s service after the “Wolf of Wall Street”-type moment, then returned to writing fabulous songs that Katy Perry will later poach.
4. Livin’ on a Thayer
As Evans reveals in his piece, the NFL and New York City have retained the services of a certain retired Philly cop for the week.
After a hiatus of 128 days, Thayer Evans of Sports Illustrated sends out a tweet: “Drones, snipers and facial recognition. Pick up SI for inside on Super Bowl’s top secret security plan…” Thayer has a by-lined piece in the mag on security at the Super Bowl. Of course Evans’ tweet was met with not a few snide comments on Twitter, and you can find those if you search. This is his first piece for SI since the five-part “Dirty Game” series.
5. “You Don’t Mow Another Guy’s Lawn!”
“Now, if you wanna shovel my driveway…go right ahead!”
All hail to The Big Lead for noticing that the latest episode of “True Detective” is not the first time Woody Harrelson got into some other dude’s grill about lawn grooming. Holy smoke! (And I’m talking to series creator Nic Pizzolatto later today –Humblebrag!–so I’ll be sure to ask him).
Marty: “You mow my yard?”
“Rust: Yeah. I saw it needed mowing. Returned the favor. Borrowed.”
Maggie: “We got etouffee. I’m trying to get Rust to stay for dinner.”
Marty: “Oh. Yeah? Stay for dinner, Russ.”
Rust: “No. I think I gotta git.”
He’s not some kind of a psycho.
This CANNOT be a coincidence, and so you just have to wonder how Marty Hart held it together while shooting this scene with Rust Cohle. Oh, and if you’ve never seen “Kingpin”, it’s goofy, goofy fun. First time I ever laughed out loud watching a movie on a plane.
Reserves
Competitors at YAU have been diagnosed with a die-polar disorder.
The antidote to Super Bowl XLVIII? The Yukon Arctic Ultra, a series of races that can run anywhere from a marathon to 400 miles in distance. For the 100-, 300- and 400-mile events, racers have a choice of cross-country skiing, mountain biking or running -in sub-zero temperatures. You must take a basic survival course before entering.
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The Phoenix Suns walk onto Indiana’s home court to meet an opponent foaming for revenge, still smarting over the 24-point defeat the Suns administered last week. Besides, the Pacers had not lost at home since December 16 (their lone home loss) and Phoenix was playing its fourth game in five nights, all on the road.
Yes, Phoenix won. Yes, Indiana never led after the first few minutes. The Suns went 4-0 on the road trip and have now won two games this season against both the Pacers (35-10) and Blazers (33-13). No Sun made the All-Star team (nor should one have, probably) but they’re 28-18 in the West. Jeff Hornacek, NBA Coach of the Year.
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Erin Andrews and Charissa Thompson in town, snapping selfies together at a Fox party, while Michelle Beadle tweets, “Gone fishin’. Be back soon.” Coincidence?
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Notre Dames’ “Campus Crossroads Project” at the football stadium will have a “Dept. of Sacred Music.” How will this jibe with “Crazy Train” and “Seven Nation Army?”
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Love the story of Ohio State offensive coordinator Tom Herman, who went all “Into the Wild” during the “blizzard” in Atlanta in order to maintain his recruiting schedule.
The Hall
Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner
1937: Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P.
1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B
1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF
1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B
1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B
1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B
1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B
1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P
1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P
1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul
1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF
1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P
1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS
1950:
Phil Rizzuto would have called Bell “a good-looking young ball player.”
James Thomas “Cool Papa” Bell, CF; 1922-1942, Negro Leagues
One of the swiftest, most graceful players to ever grace a diamond, Bell had a career average of .317. “Let me tell you about Cool Papa Bell,” pitcher Satchel Paige once said. “One time, he hit a line drive past my ear. I turned around and saw the ball hit his rear end as he slid into second.”
Jimmie Foxx, 1B; 1925-1945, A’s, Red Sox, Cubs, Phillies
After Babe Ruth, Foxx was the greatest power hitter in baseball history before integration. He clouted 30 or more home runs in 12 consecutive seasons and also had 13 consecutive 100-RBI seasons. Foxx hit for average, too, finishing with a lifetime average of .325. “The Beast” put up career numbers of 534 home runs (17th all-time) and 1,922 RBI (ninth).
Remote Patrol
Boiler Room
IFC 8 p.m.
Mad money.
Fourteen years ago they made a more compelling version of the film “The Wolf of Wall Street” that we all should have taken as a dire warning. Starring Giovanni Ribisi (who somehow appeared in “Saving Private Ryan” and “Friends”; don’t ask), Ben Affleck and Vin Diesel.