Starting Five

 

1. The Iggles Go From Vick to Nick

 

A former Pac-12 quarterback tied an NFL record by tossing seven touchdowns in one game yesterday and his name is not Andrew Luck…or Aaron Rodgers…or Carson Palmer… or Jake Locker…or even Jeff Tuel.

A former Pac-12 quarterback who now plays for the Philadelphia Eagles tied an NFL record by tossing seven touchdowns in one game yesterday and his name is not Matt Barkley!

A former quarterback at Austin (Texas) Westlake High School who now….blah blah blah, blah-blah….and his name is not Drew Brees!

What is going on here? Former University of Arizona quarterback , Nick Foles, a third-round pick by the Iggles last year, tied Peyton Manning’s (all bow) record with seven touchdown passes yesterday in a 49-20 rout of the Oakland Raiders in Oakland. Foles completed 22 of 28 passes for 406 yards and three of this seven TD throws went to Riley Cooper (all hiss).

2. “Don’t You Forget About Us…”

College football’s Breakfast Club consists of the following four schools: Auburn, Stanford, Michigan State and Oklahoma. What do they all have in common? Each program has one loss and each is headed for a showdown with an unbeaten that is currently in the top four in the BCS Standings.

No. 9 Auburn hosts No. 1 Alabama on November 30.

No. 5 Stanford, which is currently ahead of unbeaten No. 6 Baylor (which only leads the nation in both points per game and margin of victory) hosts No. 2 Oregon on Thursday night. Also this Thursday night, No. 10 Oklahoma gets its crack at No. 6 Baylor.

No. 17 Michigan State, which is No. 1 in Total Defense and No. 3 in Scoring Defense, should get No. 4 Ohio State in the Big Ten Championship Game.

The only school in the top 10 not yet accounted for? No. 8 Missouri, which would almost certainly get the winner of Auburn-Alabama in the SEC Championship game.

No playoff? Look at the BCS Standings: Every program in the Top 15 will have or has had the chance to play the five teams that are currently unbeaten. It’s a playoff, just not wrapped in a tidy, linear bow. It’s just like “Pulp Fiction” : a compelling narrative, it’s just that the scenes are not presented in chronological order.

What about Fresno State and Northern Illinois, you ask, two schools that are still undefeated and will likely stay that way? I agree, not cool. That’s why I proposed The Lottery Game last week. Let’s admit that the schools in the bottom half of the FBS just aren’t playing the same schedules as those in the top half. Let’s not be disingenuous. Either those schools should create their own subdivision, the bigger schools should not duck them (bad choice of verbiage: Oregon did not Duck Boise State, twice, in recent years), or those schools should be content with a BCS bowl –and the $$ it brings their conference.

3. The Tribe (or Rick) Has Spoken: Carol is Out

The Walking Dead: On an excursion to find more food for the group back at the prison –and why haven’t the denizens of this institution given it a cuddly nickname?–Sheriff Rick plays the role of judge and sentences Carol to banishment. Rick, c’mon, what’s a little euthanasia amongst friends? The fact that Carol literally stabbed Karen in the back as she was also figuratively stabbing her in the back was probably not lost on Rick.

(Meanwhile, Herschel has dispatched his daughters to find out where Darryl is going each week to get those $200 haircuts.)

Afterward, on Talking Dead, guest and WWE legend Chris Jericho shows off his massive brain by noting that the theme of last night’s episode was letting go: “Tyreese can’t let go of the zombie; Mel can’t let go of the bottle of whiskey; Rick can’t let go of Sam (the young man with the bum shoulder they’d happened upon) but then he does let go of Carol.”

“You know what I think?” replied host Chris Hardwick, who was both relieved that they hadn’t invited Marilyn Manson back as a guest and impressed by Jericho’s insight. “I think you should be sitting in this chair.”

4. Hines Does Kona

A little late –like, three weeks late– on this, but last month former Pittsburgh Steeler wide receiver Hines Ward became the first former NFL player to complete the Hawaii Ironman triathlon. Ward swam the 2.4-mile swim in 1:20:01, biked the 112 miles in 6:21:12 and ran the 26.2-mile marathon in 5:12:56. His overall time was 13 hours, 8 minutes and 15 seconds, which put him at 1,680th among the male competitors.

Ward told NFL.com that when he first began training under the guidance of triathlon icon legend Paula Newby-Fraser, it was raining one day and he asked her if he should still go out and run in the rain.

In other NBC Sports “talent” -thon news, yesterday Michelle Beadle finished (I don’t think “run” is the appropriate verb here) the New York City Marathon in 6:08. Which is, yeah, better than walking, but I don’t know if it merits an article in Runner’s World titled “I’m a Runner.” Momma sounds just a little full of herself from her tweets as of late, bitching about the TSA line at Newark Airport this morning as she makes her way to the Country Music Awards in Nashville. Not the best time to be whining about the TSA.

(Oh, and Pamela Anderson ran a 5:41 in New York City yesterday and, no, it was not Matt Lauer in costume.)

5. Pharoah and Washington Rule…SNL

Actress Kerry Washington guest-hosted SNL on Saturday night (what other night would she?), which meant more sketches involving African-American characters, which meant that Jay Pharoah was featured heavily. My favorite sketch involved Pharoah’s hilariously exaggerated impersonation of Shaquille O’Neal, which induced giggles before he even said a word.

SNL also took on its own dearth of diversity in the cold open (It’s funny because it’s true; well, of course. That’s why anything’s funny). Of course, if it could afford Kerry Washington, that problem would be solved. She was terrific.

Remote Patrol

Country Music Awards

CBS 8 p.m.

Even if you’re not a country music fan, hosts Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood bring the best monologue this side of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Here’s last year’s open.