Starting Five

1. “They call Alabama the Crimson Tide/Call me MGo Blue…” On an opening weekend with a surfeit of glorified exhibitions, everyone won by Alabama playing Michigan…except perhaps the Wolverines.

2. Oklahoma State drowns an entire litter of puppies, hopes no one paid too close attention.

3. USC wins its first game off probation, Penn State loses its first game on probation.

4. A hurricane hits the Gulf coast, causing the postponement of a game in…Corvallis, Ore. Butterfly Effect?

5. Notre Dame’s all-time record on foreign soil improves to 3-0 (or, depending upon your opinion of Mississippi, to 3-1).

The Sideline

If you could select a single play to embody the SEC’s dominance of the Big Ten since Florida beat Ohio State for the national championship in 2006, wouldn’t Alabama DB Dee Milliner’s shove of Michigan’s Ray Roundtree out of bounds (unflagged!), subsequent interception and then pummeling of Denard Robinson be it?

Four schools in the AP preseason Top 25 (No. 7 Florida State, No. 10 Arkansas, No. 19 Oklahoma State and No. 22 Kansas State) played Football Championship Series (FCS) foes and won by a combined score of 253-26. Missouri, an SEC team that is just outside the Top 25, rocked FCS opponent Southeast Louisiana 62-10.

It isn’t that these victims were out of their league, it’s that….well, that’s exactly what it was. FCS schools literally do not play in the same division of their FBS hosts who pummeled them and then handed them a check. Let’s see, you take physical advantage of someone who is not in a financial position to deny your offer and afterward you hand them a check. Is there a word for such an arrangement?

College football has manifold problems, but some of them are fixable. This is one such issue. Either prohbit wins versus FCS schools from counting toward bowl eligibility or, as voters, use your vote to punish schools for scheduling such games. Florida State is about to play its second consecutive game versus an FCS foe, Savannah Guthrie State, this weekend (the same team that came within 84 points of shocking Oklahoma State this past Saturday). That’s one-sixth of its schedule against opponents that have as much of an opportunity of winning the BCS national championship as Rancho Santa Margarita High School, and even less of a chance than RSMHS of beating the ‘noles.

Seminole fans will rightly point out that their team played Oklahoma last season and plays Florida out-of-conference annually. We applaud that. You don’t have to fight Muhammad Ali every time you step into the ring. But you should at least touch gloves with an opponent that has a puncher’s chance.

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USC wide receiver Marquise Lee caught 10 passes for 197 yards and one touchdown (on the Trojans’ first play from scrimmage, a 75-yarder that was mostly YAC) in the 49-10 win against Hawaii. The sophomore from Gardena, Calif., suddenly has USC SID Tim Tessalone wondering if he must stage dueling Heisman campaigns. A few thoughts:

1. Did you know that Lee was not considered the best wide receiver on his own Junipero Serra High School team? Lee was a four-star, while George Farmer earned five stars from Scout.com.

2. Lee was considered more valuable at another position. “Lee is a much more natural defensive back than receiver,” wrote Scout.

3. Hawaii coach Norm Chow was a college assistant coach for 39 seasons, a few of them spent at USC. So Chow finally becomes a head coach and his first in-game decision is to defer after winning the coin toss and put the ball in the hands of Matt Barkley?

The hardest hit we saw anyone take this weekend was the blindside hit a Boise State female cheerleader took when a Bronco player ran into her out of bounds. Fortunately, her helmet did not come off so she was permitted to cheer the next play.

 Quotable

“You get paid for certain things, but I don’t know if at the end of the day, some things are worth the payments you get.” –Savannah State coach Steve Davenport after his team surrendered 84 points to and accepted $385,000 from Oklahoma State

The weekend’s most impressive SEC team that did not play for the national championship last January? Our vote goes to Tennessee. Quarterback Tyler Bray was 27 of 41 for 333 yards, two TDs, zero picks, in the Vols’ 35-21 defeat of N.C. State, while the defense intercepted Mike Glennon four times.

Air Force continued to redefine the term misnomer as it rushed for 484 yards versus Idaho State.  Cody Getz, the Falcons’ five-foot-seven senior running back, had 218 yards on 17 carries for a 12.8 yards-per-carry average.

More FBS-FCS MacBeth Memorial (“Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing”) scores: North Carolina 62, Elon 0. Arizona State 63, NAU 6. Missouri 62, SE Louisiana 10. New Mexico 66, Southern 21. Fair is foul, and foul is fair.

Cal returned home to Memorial Stadium after a one-year hiatus due to a $321 million renovation, but Nevada beat the Golden Bears, 31-24. The Wolf Pack won in Berkeley for just the second time in 25 visits, the last victory coming in 1903.

Are you an AP voter? Great. You’re not going to even glance at the preseason poll to help you inform your decision on this week’s vote, are you? You realize the preseason vote is simply a guesstimate based on absolutely no relevant empirical information. The only relevant empirical information occurred this weekend. So, yeah, it’s okay to put UCLA or Notre Dame in the Top 15 if you think the Bruins or Irish were that impressive. It’s just Week 1. You don’t have to marry this ballot, just buy it drinks and hold open doors for it.

The spread for Savannah State at Oklahoma State was 67.5 (the .5 was a nice touch, no?). Cowboys still covered by two touchdowns and a field goal.

Top Ten*

1. Alabama

2. USC

3. LSU

4. Oregon

5. Best Virginia

6. Clemson

7. Michigan State

8. Ohio State

9. Tennessee

10. Georgia

 

*You must play an FBS opponent to be eligible for this poll.