Starting Five

Another early steakateria morning. Will do the best I can with what time we have together…

1. Louisville won in one of the most entertaining national championships ever not played in the 1980s. I’m just going to re-run some of my tweets from last night in this space (begging your pardon)…Pre-game: Jay Bilas is showing UM’s offensive sets w/help of Ga Tech players. But it’s not realistic cuz he’s not hurling balls at anyone. Warm-ups: If Mitch McGary were just a little slower, jumped a little less high, and slightly more doughy, he could play for Notre Dame. After someone tweets photo of Michigan native Kate Upton outside Georgia Dome: Atlanta: B.J., Justin and, tonight, Kate Upton. That’s a whole lot of Uptons in the 404. Pre-game: How did Chris Webber get to national championship game? He WALKED, of course. After Fab Five are shown sitting together: When the Fab Five go out after game, if they don’t split check 3 ways, then those guys are bastards.

The Fab Five are present for another UM title game loss. Paging Glen Rice and Rumeal Robinson.

Right after 5-11 Spike Albrecht drove past a Louisville defender to put UM up 33-21 and score his 17th (and final point) of the contest, the Cardinals called timeout. The first ad on TV was the AT&T classroom guy asking four NBA Hall of Famers, “Is it better to be bigger or smaller?” Perfect irony…. No Amanda Marcum during “One Shining Moment?” Epic fail, CBS.

When CBS drops the ball, I’m here for you.

2. The Great White Hoop The first half belonged to a pair of Caucasian back-ups whom the Utah Jazz have since likely moved to the top of their draft board. Michigan’s 5-11 freshman Spike Albrecht, a transfer from Appalachian State of all places (!) (correction: Spike’s only DI scholly offer was from App. State; he never attended school there. My bad. –JW), staked the Wolverines to a 12-point lead on 6-7 shooting, including four threes. Albrecht, who averaged 1.8 points per game this season, had 17 first-half points and the kicker is that UM coach John Beilein had inserted him into the game for the Naismith Player of the Year, Trey Burke, who had committed two early fouls.

Hancock and Albrecht. For one half, they hijacked the national championship game.

But then, faster than you can say Jimmy Chitwood, Louisville sixth man Luke Hancock buried four consecutive threes to actually give Louisville a 36-35 lead. It was a breathless, effervescent, scorching first half in which both teams shot lights-out (there goes my dome theory) and a pair of unheralded white people gained unexpected fame. All that was left to wonder was which of them Darnell Dockett was tweeting at in hopes of meeting them after the game for some buffalo wings.

3. CBS’ Doug Gottlieb had some terrific insights, but I disagree with the conclusions he drew from them. At halftime he showed that at least three of Albrecht’s four three-pointers came when he was wide open because Lousville was either caught napping in their switches or just didn’t respect his shot. Also, that he’d driven past a former walk-on for his two layups. Gottlieb called Albrecht’s 17 first-half points “fool’s gold”, which seemed rather harsh. Can you imagine him saying the same thing about a starter who’d scored 17 on six of seven shooting in one half? Albrecht still had to bury those four long-range shots, of course, and he still had to drive past a defender and into the lane knowing that Gorgui Dieng was awaiting him.

“No, this was the size of my ego at birth. It’s a lot larger now.”

But, to give Gottlieb credit, Albrecht was held scoreless in the second half.

For me Gottlieb’s wilder conclusion was that Michigan lost the game in the first half by sitting Trey Burke for 12 minutes because he had two fouls. He actually said, “How many fouls did Trey Burke finish with? Two. Great, you saved Trey Burke, but you lost the national championship.”

First of all, Burke would finish the game with four fouls, not two.

Second, if UM coach John Beilein sends Burke back into the game and he picks up a third first-half foul, he gets crucified in the media.

Third, Gottlieb completely discounts the idea that maybe UM had that 12-point lead because Burke’s replacement was playing out of his mind.

Fourth, Louisville came back from 16 down in the second half versus Syracuse, a Final Four squad, just three weeks ago. And won by 17. Nobody beats this Louisville team in the first half. Dumb premise.

Fifth, why not just give Luke Hancock credit for burying four out-of-his-own-mind threes? Does Burke stop them? Maybe. More likely, though, Hancock baits him into a third foul.

Sixth, Michigan’s leading scorer in the second half? Trey Burke, with 17 points. Is he that fresh or does he even see that much time if Beilein plays him more in the first half (and if he picks up a third foul?)?

4. Yesterday came news that Nevada is considering a bill that would allow private entities to place bets on behalf of investors. Translation: If this were to become law, every investment bank and hedge fund could employ a Joey Bag O’Donuts to head their high-risk sports yield division. And, gentlemen, I’m applying for the job. Why should a hedge fund manager waste all those resources hoping for a 6% annual yield when he can just wager against the Houston Lastros most days? In fact, let’s have some fun and begin with an imaginary $1,000. The Lastros, who finished with baseball’s worst record in 2011 and 2012, have now moved to the American League which, I’m sorry, is a tougher place to play (yes, I know about the Giants and Cardinals).

Rick Ankiel homered on Opening Day, but he has struck out 12 times in 14 at-bats this season.

So, if we begin with $1,000 and consider that Houston was 2:1 odds to lose their opener, you’re immediately down $2,000. But the Lastros have since lost six straight. Which means, if you bet $1,000 per game, that you are now up $4,000. So after one week of “shorting the Lastros”, your rate of return is 400%. Eat that, Stephen Cohen. By the way, Houston scored eight runs in its season opener and has scored a total of nine runs in the six games since. They’ve already been shut out three times in seven games.

5. Since Louisville won the men’s basketball championship and tonight’s women’s game is between Connecticut and Louisville, Notre Dame will be able to say that — no matter who wins this evening –that it was the last school to defeat both the men’s and women’s national champions in 2013. The Fighting Irish took down the Cardinals in five overtimes back in February –their final defeat –and on the distaff side defeated both the Cards and Huskies in the Big East tournament. If you’re looking for another connection, the Irish were the last team to defeat UConn on the men’s side two years ago before the Huskies went on a roll to win both the Big East tourney and the national title, just as Louisville did this season. Both Irish teams will attend a screening of Bridesmaids later this week.