Starting Five
1. “Facebook Unveils new Friend-Based Search Tool”
Isn’t that what Facebook is? No, silly. The new tool is currently known as “graph search”. As Facebook quasi-founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg explains, “You need to be able to ask the query like, who are my friends in San Francisco?” Zuckerberg foresees graph search replacing the old tool, which was popularly known as “your brain.”
2. Sally Jenkins
Our fierce and forthright former colleague, the author of “It’s Not About The Bike”, appears on Charlie Rose. The host asks, “Did he apologize to you, Sally?” She answers: “He did. He did. He was sorry that my reputation had taken a hit…I had hoped he was clean. He is not. I don’t condone it but I forgive him.”
3. Bo Knows IU
Wisconsin tackles No. 2 Indiana for the 11th consecutive time, and hands the Hoosiers their first loss in Assembly Hall in more than a year. Badger coach Bo Ryan is now 17-3 all-time versus Indiana.
4. Flori-Duh: The Case of the Atomic Wedgie
A Florida man, Charlie Ross — who did not interview Sally Jenkins last night — was arrested after sneaking up on people in a movie theater and giving them wedgies. One theatergoer was not amused (just one?) and filed charges. “This person did not want to get a wedgie,” said Dave Bristow of the Manatee Sheriff’s Office. “Who would want to get a wedgie?”
A wag of the finger to the reporter who wrote this story for not identifying the title of the film.
In a related story, we are filing charges against our older brother in Maricopa County Superior Court later today, depending on the statute of limitations for wedgies.
5. “The Trojans will head to the locker room for a 15-minute heating-up period, and then they will meet with the media…” Yesterday Scott Wolf of the Los Angeles Daily News –and, surprise, NOT Shelley Smith — broke a story about a post-game fracas in the USC locker room following the Trojans’ 21-7 loss to Georgia Tech in the Sun Bowl.
“It was one of the worst things I’ve seen in a locker room,” said a player who wished not to be identified and who obviously never showered with Dennis Johnson (Hey-O!).
Apparently the altercation began after a few Trojan underclassmen questioned the leadership of the team’s seniors. Fight on, gentlemen. Fight on.
Reserves
Unranked St. John’s defeats No. 20 Notre Dame at Madison Square Garden. We know, you’re all Joy Behar (“So what? Who cares?”) about this, but Irish hoops fans are wondering why coach Mike Brey went all Erik Spoelstra on his best player, All-America candidate center Jack Cooley, down the stretch. While Cooley, who is averaging a double-double, did not have his best game, he sat for the final ten or so minutes in the midst of a tight game.
Granted, the Irish made an 18-4 run without Cooley, erasing a 12-point second-half deficit. But, in the waning moments, with the Irish trailing 64-63, Cooley’s replacement, seldom-used senior Tom Knight, received a pass under the basket and was all alone. The six-foot-ten Knight went up with the shot and had it blocked by six-foot-three D’Angelo Harrison.
Does Cooley get his shot blocked there (at worst, he goes to the free throw line)? Is he even that open (probably not)? Was Brey sending Cooley a message (perhaps)? Still, Brey threw away a game at an arena where the Irish have lost four straight.
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This is incoming Secretary of the Treasury Jack Lew’s signature. This is the top of a Hostess cupcake. We’re not the first to point this out (Jimmy Kimmel, others) but we felt obligated to share.
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The Chicago Bears give Marc Trestman a pretty cool 56th birthday gift: they hire him as their new head coach. Trestman is an attorney –perfect for dealing with the NFL — and a Minneapolis native. Have you ever met anyone from the Twin Cities who wasn’t cool? Either have we.