Consider this our DeSean Jackson edition. We’re not really giving it our all.
Augusta National added a former United States Secretary of State and a banker whose net worth is more than $2 billion and Twitter fell all over itself as if Rosa Parks had gone Dennis Hopper in Speed. What’s the big deal? If you read the census reports, all Augusta did was admit two members of the majority, after all. Cecil Hurt of the Tuscaloosa News quipped, “Augusta National now has as many female members as Fleetwood Mac.” You can go your own way, Billy Payne.
We listened to Rumours 30 times before realizing the one named Lindsay Buckingham was not one of the two chicks.
Base thief Billy Hamilton, who began the season in A ball with Bakersfield but has since been called up to AA Pensacola (the Blue Wahoos!), has 143 steals on the season. Hamilton needs two stolen bases to tie Vince Coleman’s record of 145. The Blue Wahoos have a doubleheader versus Montgomery today, so if you’re in the Florida Panhandle, you may want to stop in to witness baseball history. Although, as one writer noted earlier this summer, Billy Hamilton already is history. He is a namesake of the game’s third all-time leading base pilferer.
Lo Blow: Notre Dame cornerback Lo Wood, the only semi-experienced cornerback on the roster, is lost for the season after suffering a torn Achilles tendon in practice. The Irish’s other starter on an island, Bennett Jackson, is a former wideout. No big deal, it’s not as if the Irish would be facing, say, the two active career passing leaders (Nos. 4 and 14 on that list) in the nation this season or anything like that.
We don’t mind that ESPN shows the Little League World Series. We don’t mind that they conduct post-game interviews with 12 year-old boys. What we would prefer, though, is that the sideline reporter be a cute 12 year-old girl, just for the sheer awkwardness of it.
Tony Scott died by jumping off a bridge. You knew that. Scott, the brother of Oscar-winning director Ridley Scott, directed Top Gun. He also directed True Romance, a film written by Quentin Tarantino. Top Gun was released in 1986 and True Romance in 1993. A year later, 1994, Tarantino appeared in Sleep With Me, a film in which he deconstructed Top Gun, noting that it wasn’t a film about fighter jets but simply a film about wrestling with homosexuality. We always wondered if Scott and The Q discussed this.
Forbes names Jay-Z and Beyonce the “highest-paid celebrity couple” at $78 million, or less than one-fourth of what the person who bought the $337 million winning Powerball ticket in Lapeer, Michigan, will rake. It’s always better to be lucky than good.
Oh, Todd Akin. Apparently, Missourah is also the Don’t-Show-Me State.
Hernandez v. Hernandez. No, it’s not a divorce case, it’s the Mariners-Indians pitching matchup tonight as Mr. Perfect, Felix Hernandez, faces The Hurler Formerly Known as Fausto Carmona. We miss Fausto Carmona. Considering his 7.50 ERA, Roberto Hernandez probably does, too.
If only James Harden had been born in 1949 and not 1989, he’d be one of the great ABA icons, as this photo attests. Want to hear something scary? Harden only turns 23 tomorrow.
Apple (AAPL) saw its stock price jump $17.04 to $655 yesterday, the largest one-day leap for the tech monolith since May 24th. The surge propelled the Cupertino, Calif.-based company’s total value to $624 billion, making it the most valuable company of all time. Of all time. Yes, more valuable than Spacely Sprockets! Meanwhile, how’s morale at Facebook, whose stock price has nearly been cut in half since its IPO on May 18th?
And if you don’t mind us asking, Peter Thiel, is it physically possible to “pocket” $400 million?
Apple and Facebook, by the way, are located about 14 miles from one another in Silicon Valley. Apple, in Cupertino, Calif., is located on 1 Infinite Loop Drive, while Facebook, in Palo Alto, is on 1 Hacker Way.