New Year’s Day. A bounty of bowls and beers and we plan on getting in as much physical activity as Charlie Bucket’s grandparents. Hence, a special dusk edition of IAH. As our friend Frosty the Snowman would say, “Happy New Year!” (Oh, wait: Frosty said, “Happy Birthday!” We’re already losing it).
Starting Five
1. CLOWNEY! Last month South Carolina sophomore defensive end Jadeveon Clowney, the nation’s No. 1 overall-rated recruit two years ago, openly stated that he plans to win the Heisman Trophy next season. In the fourth quarter of today’s Outback Bowl, Clowney submitted his first highlight hit of the calendar year (but not the 2013 season) when he Doppler Effected Michigan’s Vincent Smith. Clowney’s blow, which came one play after the Wolverines received a bogus first-down spot from the referees, knocked the helmet off Smith’s head and the ball out of his hands (Clowney recovered the fumble with one paw). In lieu of flowers, the Smith family requests that you not send GIFs of the hit to their email address. Thank you.
Clowney: One letter separates “best” and “beast”
2. “Even the losers/Get lucky sometimes…” The Charlotte Bobcat Goldthwaits end their 18-game losing streak (not to be confused with last season’s 23-game losing streak) with a 91-81 victory at Chicago. The Bulls never led but were tied with Charlotte at the beginning of the 4th quarter. That’s when Goldthwaite coach Mike Dunlap decided to scrap the playbook and simply allow his players — such as Kemba Walker, who had a team-high 18 points — simply to play. Thus began a 10-0 Bobcat run. Why don’t more coaches do this?
Also, Northwestern ends a nine-game bowl losing streak that extended back to the Truman Era (1949) with a 34-20 Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Bowl defeat of Mississippi State. Cat coach Pat Fitzergald notes that he always tells his players to “act like you’ve been there before, but we’ve never been here before.” At least not in any of their lifetimes.
3. ESPN anchor Hannah Storm returns to the air after a three-week TV absence following a scary home accident in which she suffered first- and second-degree burns in a grilling accident (no, she was not freebasing propane…okay, that’s insensitive). Storm co-hosted ABC’s telecast of the Rose Bowl Parade with former SportsCenter pardner Josh Misdemeanor Elliott.
4. Ubiquitous Taylor Swift performs two songs for ABC’s first Dick Clark-free New Year’s Rockin’ Eve in Times Square. Swift is now No. 2 on the all-time list of musicians who have performed live in Times Square, trailing only the Naked Singing Cowboy…whom she may very well some day date.
5. Two historical errors from Djanjo Unchained: 1. A screen crawl in the opening scene informs us that the year is “1858…Two years before the start of the Civil War.” Except that the attack on Fort Sumter took place in 1861. Even if you argue that that this was less than three years, why confuse the audience by saying two years. 2. Dynamite plays a major role in the plot in the film’s final 15 minutes…except that dynamite was not invented until 1867.
Reserves
USC loses to Georgia Tech in the Sun Bowl, 21-7, in the process becoming the first school since Mississippi in 1964 to open the season ranked No. 1 and finish it unranked. We are shocked. There was a time when the Rebels were ranked No. 1 in the preseason?
One of the men who puts the “wit” in Twitter (because T’ter is too difficult to pronounce, Cecil Hurt, tweets: “My new dream for the bowl season is to see Jadeveon Clowney put a full-speed hit on the Stanford band.”
Anybody, Anybody?
A few days ago we noted that our boss at the steakateria posited that no actor is more indelibly associated with one role than Matthew Broderick as Ferris Bueller. Perhaps. We solicited, on Twitter, some other suggestions. Here they are, along with some of ours.
The ground rules, although you don’t really need them, is that it’s about playing an iconic character and also about not having a career in which you played a multitude of such (sorry, Jack Nicholson and Tom Hanks). No one, by the way, was as overwhelmingly mentioned as our first name on the list.
But what ever became of Sloane?
1. Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker in Star Wars
2. Judy Garland as Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz
3. Humphrey Bogart as Rick Blaine in Casablanca
4. Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs
5. Jon Heder as Napoleon Dynamite –Gol!
6. Ralph Macchio as Daniel-son in The Karate Kid
7. Gene Wilder as Willie Wonka in Willie Wonka & The Chocolate Factory
8. Charlton Heston as Moses in The Ten Commandments
9. Anthony Perkins as Norman Bates in Psycho
10. Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s
I’m sure we’ve missed some obvious ones. Do be a dear and submit your suggestion. Thanks.