It took two months and thousands of hours of poring over footage, but investigators have at last found, arrested and charged two men in connection with the death of U.S. Capitol policeman Brian Sicknick. They are New Brunswick, N.J., natives Julian Khater, 32 (in Trump beanie) and George Tanios, 39 (red cap).
(Tanios)
The two men, who until this week lived in State College, Pa., and Morgantown, W. Va., respectively, allegedly plotted and then sprayed Sicknick and other officers with bear spray on Jan. 6. Tanios runs a drunken-hour sandwich shop in Morgantown and is a veteran of the famed/infamous Rutgers “grease trucks” (his uncles owned one).
Tanios is also accused by a former business associate in New Jersey of embezzling $435,000 as well as not paying his employees at his Morgantown shop. The lengths AntiFa will go to disguise someone, eh?
The two men have not been charged with murder, but rather “with one count of conspiracy to injure an officer; three counts of assault on a federal officer with a dangerous weapon; one count of civil disorder; one count of obstructing or impeding an official proceeding; one count of physical violence on restricted grounds, while carrying dangerous weapon and resulting in significant bodily injury; and one count of violent entry and disorderly conduct, act of physical violence on Capitol grounds.”
So they might be going away for awhile.
Goo Goo Goo Joob*
*The judges acknowledge that they should have gone with “The Trip Of The Iceberg”
A cute 5 year-old Irish lassie walking with her dad on Valentia Island spotted this wayard walrus over the weekend. See, Daylight Savings Time affects everyone. Biologists suggest the walrus may have fallen asleep while drifting on an iceberg.
It now finds itself living on the southwestern coast of Ireland. This will be a bummer come mating season.
Zahm-bie Apocalypse
A crowd has gathered in front of the Main Building, sending chants across God Quad and calling for others to join.
This note was sent out by Notre Dame’s Office of Residence Life yesterday to all students:
Is this Cancel Culture or Cancel Dormitory?
Brees, He Does It
After 20 seasons and one Super Bowl ring, and with an assist from his four cute kids, New Orleans Saints QB Drew Brees officially retires.
Brees, 42, exits as the NFL’s all-time leader in passes completed (7,142), and passing yards (80,358) and No. 2 in touchdown passes (571, or 10 behind Tom Brady). Not bad for a second-round pick.
He’ll be joining Mike Tirico in the Notre Dame booth next season, marking the second ex-San Diego Charger quarterback to hold that job in the past three years.
Knick legend Patrick Ewing, now coaching at Georgetown, was stopped multiple times by security at Madison Square Garden yesterday during the Big East tournament. He was not amused. Ewing is 7’0″ after all and the greatest Knick to not have played on the 1970 and ’73 championship squads.
Maybe if he’d have beaten Michael Jordan in the playoffs just once…
Johnny, Dangerously
Here’s retired A’s, Red Sox and Yankees star Johnny Damon failing a field sobriety test on his driveway in Windemere, Fla. That’s his wife going all Karen on the cops. If only he’d played for another AL club we’d have been able to headline this White Sox Privilege. Alas…
Not only did Damon fail the field sobriety test, he tested FOUR times the legal limit for intoxication. Damon can be heard saying, “I’m being targeted because I’m for Trump.”
Kawhi Ask Such A Dumb Question
On “Inside The NBA” last night, Charles Barkley asked Clipper forward Kawhi Leonard—you’ll remember when he took over the 2019 NBA Finals for the Toronto Raptors—if he has seen a difference between Ty Lue, the LA Clippers’ new coach, and Doc Rivers, the team’s coach last year (1:14 of the Clip clip).
“Yeah,” answered the laconic Leonard. “They’re two different people.”
I expect the Inside The NBA gang, particularly Ernie Johnson, to be using this line plenty in the coming weeks.
Rail Improvement
New Yorkers justifiably take great pride in the beauty and grandeur of Grand Central Station, the rail depot that connects New Yorkers to all points north and northeast. Ah, but as for Penn Station, which has for decades sat beneath Madison Square Garden, where no one knows who Patrick Ewing is anymore, not so much. It is a decrepit and cramped and low-ceilinged basement that is even possibly nastier than the Port Authority (the city’s bus depot).
But now they’ve fixed all of the that. The Moynihan Train Hall, opened in the old U.S. Post Office just across 8th Ave. from MSG, has just opened. For those headed out on Amtrak, or to the Jersey Shore or Long Island, things no longer need be so depressing.
I know what you’re thinking: What’s a post office?
Rebirth Of A Nation
President Joe Biden gave his first national TV address last night, on the one-year anniversary of The Former Guy’s national TV address in which he assured Americans that the “foreign virus” was no big deal.
We didn’t listen, but we’re going to go out on a short limb and assume that Biden did not remind everyone that he received more votes than any presidential candidate in history, or that he did not take personal credit for the Dow Jones hitting an all-time high, or that he did not belittle anyone who has dared to disagree with him while also falsely bolstering his own reputation. Just a guess.
Remember when “drone footage” meant you were about see a site in Baghdad about to be bombed? No more. Now, thanks to drones, everyone (or at least talented auteurs) can be like Marty Scorcese.
That’s Bryant Lake bowl in Minneapolis. We used to live less than a mile from here. Always loved the neon sign outside.
Happy Coronaversary
One year ago today I was packing for the next day’s flight to Phoenix—just a short week or two away from New York City in March—and was channel-flipping between the news that Rudy Gobert had tested positive, thus canceling the Jazz-Mavericks game, and a presidential address from the Oval Office from “the former guy.”
This was the day that the World Health Organization (WHO) officially declared the coronavirus as “a global pandemic.” Notice that Trump said, “It only matters how you respond and we are responding with great speed and professionalism.”
HA!
One day earlier, March 10, sh*t had gotten real when the stock market dipped 1,400 points in one day (the Dow). Ironically, it was the 11th anniversary of the famed “Haines Bottom” on CNBC.
Smoking Gun
Here’s the Jan. 4 memo from former acting Defense Secretary requiring “personal authorization” for DC National Guard to employ riot control agents & other tactics at Jan. 6 “March for Trump.” This same day Capitol police knew of a “strong potential” for violence against Congress. pic.twitter.com/imPfrBC6SF
This seems rather significant, no? The January 4th memo from acting Secretary of Defense Chris Miller to the D.C. National Guard. Verrrrrry interesting, as Arte Johnson might have said.
This man—and the man who directed him to send it—ought to be tried for treason and the punishment should be 10 minutes alone with Champ Biden.
The NHL Returns To Melrose Place
The National Hockey League just signed a seven-year deal with ESPN, which will be tantamount to longtime ESPN analyst and mullet aficionado Barry Melrose finding the Fountain of Youth.
ESPN will pay the NHL approximately $420 million per year and in return air four of the next seven Stanley Cups, along with other NHL contests. This was a marriage that needed to happen. Long live the Levy Lounge.
Get Your Madness On
Buried far down on ESPN’s home page is a nice review of the Indiana gyms that will either play host to this unique NCAA tournament or are themselves historic. It’s a cool story.
The judges will also accept “Woof Housing” and “German Aggression”
Presidential pup Major Biden (right) has been sent home to Delaware after an aggressive snip at a Secret Service agent. On one hand, we cannot have creatures in the White House simply biting other creatures (stabbing in the back, maybe; but not biting). On the other hand, it’s nice to have one in the White House whose bite is worse than his bark.
I gotta admit, I spent half the day wondering if Major Biden and Hunter Biden were brothers.
The Sweet Smell of Suggs-cess
(In Haarms’ Way: Suggs, here taking it to the rim versus BYU’s Matt Haarms, who at 7’3″ is the tallest boy in college hoops)
Gonzaga improved to 26-0 and won the West Coast Conference championship with an 88-78 win over BYU, which is located two states over from a west coast state. But never mind.
The Zags were led by 6’4″ frosh guard Jalen Suggs, he of St. Paul, Minn. Suggs looks like the kind of guard who five to 25 years (and all years in between) ago would have opted to go play for Coach K at Duke. In fact, two Minnesota point guards have gone down to Durham to play for Coach K in the past decade (they’re siblings).
But not Suggs. He headed west along I-90 to Spokane. Last night the putative Top 10 pick led all scorers with 23 points. The Zags have had many fine players over the years, but Suggs may look more like a polished Big Ten or ACC player after not even one full season than any of them.
Gonzaga will be a 1-seed in the tourney, though most fans probably consider Michigan the overall No. 1 and the tougher out.
Without Piers
As you know, Piers Morgan checked out of Good Morning, Britain for good shortly after stomping off the set as weatherman Alex Beresford hit him with a litany of charges as to his behavior toward Meghan Markle. You probably saw the clip. And hey, have you ever watched so much of Good Morning, Britain? And wouldn’t you like to see it more often?
Anyway, we’re not about to defend Morgan’s previous, at best, sexism if not downright misogyny. And yes, he’s always been somewhat arrogant and of course is a friend of 45. However, we watched this extended clip of the show before the viral moment, and if you take the time to do the same, let me ask you: 1) Is Morgan being at all unreasonable here? 2) Who’s cutting off whom more often, conversationally? and 3) Did you realize it was actually Morgan who wanted Beresford on the panel that morning?
I won’t have Morgan’s back for all of his previous Tucker Carlson-like behavior. But in this clip, in the moments before he’d storm off the program he’d co-hosted for the last time, I do. I don’t think he’s at all being unreasonable. In fact, I think he’s the saner one of the two. You have the right to feel offended, sure. But you don’t have the right to alternative facts.
Big Noon Bob
Fox Sports hires Bob Stoops to replace Urban Meyer for its Big Noon Kickoff pregame show (that airs at 7 a.m. local time in Los Angeles on Saturday mornings. Good luck with that, Bob). Fox’s extended college football team now has four on-air personalities whose 2005 football season was canceled by the University of Texas: Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart (USC), Joel Klatt (twice!, with Colorado), and now Stoops (Oklahoma).
We cannot wait until Fox hires A.J. Hawk or Jim Tressel.
You gotta wonder if Bob was getting jealous of all the air-time his walk-on receiver son Drake Stoops was getting on Fox with the Sooners and wanted some of that action himself. Or if he just thought, I can only sit and drink with the well-heeled boosters in luxury boxes on Saturday afternoons so much.
On an incredibly bullish Tuesday in the market, TSLA jumps 100 points (or dollars) while GME’s incredible second surge continues. GameStop, which surged nearly 200% between Feb. 23 ($44) and March 1st ($120), is up more than 125% in just the past four days ($118 to $264). What is it based on? Nothing more than momentum and Reddit posts. When will it stop? Who knows?
Take The Money And– Run Or Don’t Run
Donald Trump’s latest scam (besides requesting a mail-in ballot after claiming for months that mail-in votes are fraudulent)? Appealing to voters to send their money directly to him, as opposed to the Republican party. This is brilliant. Does that mean he’ll run for office again? Who knows? Will the mentally weak and deluded who write checks out to him get their money back if/when he chooses not to run for office? Why don’t you ask former students at Trump University or consumers of Trump Steaks how that ends…
Trump’s contention? “No more money for RINOS [Republicans In Name Only.. e.g., Mike Pence, Adam Kinzinger]. They do nothing but hurt the Republican Party and our great voting base – they will never lead us to Greatness.”
Believe it or not, and you’ll believe it, Trump goes on to use a superlative (!) statement: “We will bring it all back stronger than ever before!” Shocked.
The Dallas Cowboys retain quarterback Dak Prescott, last seen being carted off the field at Jerry World with his ankle hanging by ligaments and tendons, for four years and $160 million. And $123 million of it, more than 3/4, is money up front as a signing bonus.
We’re well past the “Is He Worth It?” question with NFL quarterbacks (thanks, Pat Mahomes) but there are a few questions: 1) What will Prescott, entering his sixth season, be like after that gruesome ankle injury suffered against the New York Giants? and 2) How many playoff games have the Cowboys won in Prescott’s first five seasons (one)?
To be fair (not that we need to be), Prescott’s passer rating consistently rose, from 25th to 16th to 13th to 6th, in his first four full seasons before he was felled in the fifth game of 2020. He’s a good egg, too. Now all he needs to do is join Roger and Troy and lead the StarBoys to a Super Bowl victory.
Didn’t We Refer To It As A ‘Crown Show’ Only Yesterday?
By the way, how does one know for sure that something is fundamentally and morally wrong? When Piers Morgan, the Tucker Carlson of the U.K., is in favor of it…
Piers Morgan just walked off the Good Morning Britain set (!!!) after co-presenter Alex Beresford defended Harry and Meghan and condemned Piers' treatment of them in yesterday's programming pic.twitter.com/mH75J8ND4O
Nomadland, The Trial Of The Chicago 7, Mank, Malcolm & Marie, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, Sound of Metal, Minari.
We haven’t seen Nomadland. Really enjoyed The Trial of The Chicago 7 and Mank and predict a Best Supporting Actress win for Amanda Seyfried in the latter. That could also win Best Screenplay, which isn’t easy to do in a year that Sorkin has a film out. But it’s our favorite script of the little we’ve seen.
Will there be a host?
Probably not. Remember last year, students of biology, that the big winner was Parasite even though there was no host.
