by John Walters

Changing Your Major*

The judges will also accept “Woof Housing” and “German Aggression”

Presidential pup Major Biden (right) has been sent home to Delaware after an aggressive snip at a Secret Service agent. On one hand, we cannot have creatures in the White House simply biting other creatures (stabbing in the back, maybe; but not biting). On the other hand, it’s nice to have one in the White House whose bite is worse than his bark.

I gotta admit, I spent half the day wondering if Major Biden and Hunter Biden were brothers.

The Sweet Smell of Suggs-cess

Gonzaga improved to 26-0 and won the West Coast Conference championship with an 88-78 win over BYU, which is located two states over from a west coast state. But never mind.

The Zags were led by 6’4″ frosh guard Jalen Suggs, he of St. Paul, Minn. Suggs looks like the kind of guard who five to 25 years (and all years in between) ago would have opted to go play for Coach K at Duke. In fact, two Minnesota point guards have gone down to Durham to play for Coach K in the past decade (they’re siblings).

But not Suggs. He headed west along I-90 to Spokane. Last night the putative Top 10 pick led all scorers with 23 points. The Zags have had many fine players over the years, but Suggs may look more like a polished Big Ten or ACC player after not even one full season than any of them.

Gonzaga will be a 1-seed in the tourney, though most fans probably consider Michigan the overall No. 1 and the tougher out.

Without Piers

As you know, Piers Morgan checked out of Good Morning, Britain for good shortly after stomping off the set as weatherman Alex Beresford hit him with a litany of charges as to his behavior toward Meghan Markle. You probably saw the clip. And hey, have you ever watched so much of Good Morning, Britain? And wouldn’t you like to see it more often?

Anyway, we’re not about to defend Morgan’s previous, at best, sexism if not downright misogyny. And yes, he’s always been somewhat arrogant and of course is a friend of 45. However, we watched this extended clip of the show before the viral moment, and if you take the time to do the same, let me ask you: 1) Is Morgan being at all unreasonable here? 2) Who’s cutting off whom more often, conversationally? and 3) Did you realize it was actually Morgan who wanted Beresford on the panel that morning?

I won’t have Morgan’s back for all of his previous Tucker Carlson-like behavior. But in this clip, in the moments before he’d storm off the program he’d co-hosted for the last time, I do. I don’t think he’s at all being unreasonable. In fact, I think he’s the saner one of the two. You have the right to feel offended, sure. But you don’t have the right to alternative facts.

Big Noon Bob

Fox Sports hires Bob Stoops to replace Urban Meyer for its Big Noon Kickoff pregame show (that airs at 7 a.m. local time in Los Angeles on Saturday mornings. Good luck with that, Bob). Fox’s extended college football team now has four on-air personalities whose 2005 football season was canceled by the University of Texas: Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart (USC), Joel Klatt (twice!, with Colorado), and now Stoops (Oklahoma).

We cannot wait until Fox hires A.J. Hawk or Jim Tressel.

You gotta wonder if Bob was getting jealous of all the air-time his walk-on receiver son Drake Stoops was getting on Fox with the Sooners and wanted some of that action himself. Or if he just thought, I can only sit and drink with the well-heeled boosters in luxury boxes on Saturday afternoons so much.

I Want To Ride My Bicycle/I Want To Ride My Bike

One of our favorite blogs, The Discoverer, puts out a list of “The Six Coolest Bike Paths In The World.” Take a peek.

Stock The Insanity

On an incredibly bullish Tuesday in the market, TSLA jumps 100 points (or dollars) while GME’s incredible second surge continues. GameStop, which surged nearly 200% between Feb. 23 ($44) and March 1st ($120), is up more than 125% in just the past four days ($118 to $264). What is it based on? Nothing more than momentum and Reddit posts. When will it stop? Who knows?

Take The Money And– Run Or Don’t Run

Donald Trump’s latest scam (besides requesting a mail-in ballot after claiming for months that mail-in votes are fraudulent)? Appealing to voters to send their money directly to him, as opposed to the Republican party. This is brilliant. Does that mean he’ll run for office again? Who knows? Will the mentally weak and deluded who write checks out to him get their money back if/when he chooses not to run for office? Why don’t you ask former students at Trump University or consumers of Trump Steaks how that ends…

Trump’s contention? “No more money for RINOS [Republicans In Name Only.. e.g., Mike Pence, Adam Kinzinger]. They do nothing but hurt the Republican Party and our great voting base – they will never lead us to Greatness.”

Believe it or not, and you’ll believe it, Trump goes on to use a superlative (!) statement: “We will bring it all back stronger than ever before!” Shocked.