IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters

Starting Five

MH Worldwide Headquarters

1. Is There Such A Thing As Too Wealthy?*

Thank God for stomachs. See, no matter how much we love pizza or chocolate cake or nachos, eventually we reach a point where our tummy tells us, You’ve had enough. Like the governor on a U-Haul truck that does not allow you to go faster than 55 m.p.h.,  our stomachs let us know when we’ve had too much to eat and in a sense protect us from our own appetites.

Not so with money. Avarice has no governor other than common sense and/or decency. I thought about this yesterday when two news stories flashed before me on the inter web screen. The first had the headline ”

‘World’s richest 1% get 82% of the wealth’

which was based on a report by the Oxford Committee for Famine Relief, a.k.a. OxFam, which noted that the gap between the super-wealthy and the rest of the world widened last year. OxFam noted that 42 individuals have as much wealth as half the world, that there are a record number of billionaires (2,043) and that two-thirds of those billionaires acquired their wealth via inheritance, monopoly or cronyism.

The second headline read, “Matt Lauer Kicked Out of Hamptons Home By Wife Annette Roque.”

Now while Lauer is not a billionaire, he was the highest-earning employee at NBC for years, making $25 million per annum. But he’s a scumbag of a person in how he treats his wife (Savannah and Hoda knew about this for years, because even I knew about it from fellow NBC employees). So now he’s just a very wealthy pariah, but as the story explains, Lauer owns three homes in the Hamptons, so he can just move into another one.

This person is as responsible for his economic plight as Donald, Jr. is his wealth

Is capitalism bad? Per se, no. Life at the other economic extreme, communism, is far worse. The idea that everyone should be compensated equally is not only antithetical to natural selection, but as Russia and Cuba have illustrated, it leads to a maximum of state-sponsored corruption while stifling the creativity and ambition of the individual. Communism is never the answer.

However, on the other extreme end, how many more humans have to live in extreme poverty while an entitled few possess so much, much, much more than they will ever need, or their descendants will, before your average capitalist apologist notes that maybe the system is dysfunctional?

And why do I bring Lauer into this conversation? Because it has long been my experience that men who are compensated like gods often begin to behave as if they are gods. As if laws and human decency no longer apply to them. Lauer is only the most visible role model (this week).

I don’t know the answer. I just know that we are skewing in the wrong direction and at what figure (82% currently) does it become outright obscene in terms of the percentage of overall wealth that the top 1% control? Because, as the OxFam report illustrates (inheritance, cronyism, monopoly) most of those super-wealthy did nothing themselves to earn that wealth. And most of the time, but not always, people who did not work hard themselves to acquire wealth have no appreciation for it or empathy for those who have less.

What if we had money stomachs? What if we had some internal governor that told us, “Okay, you’ve got enough. Now go devote your energy to something else in this life?”

*The judges are certain there is a better way to say this, but we only give the author one shot at it and then he has to move on. Things to see, people to do, etc.

2. Mulligan Man

Speaking of how the super-wealthy feel entitled to behave differently, here’s what Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, a prominent evangelical activist group, had to say about the president committing adultery with a porn star just a few months after his wife gave birth to their son in 2006: ““We kind of gave him—‘All right, you get a mulligan. You get a do-over here.'”

As someone pithily put it on Twitter,

 

3. Blockchain Explained

 

 

Give this video six minutes….By the way, @ValaAfshar is the wisest follow on Twitter, far as we’re concerned.

4. Look, Mom, More Gun Violence!

At Marshall County High School in Bento, Kentucky, a 15 year-old shoots two of his classmates dead and wounds 17 others. No, it’s not the 2nd Amendment’s fault, but geez, this is becoming so common that it barely makes the CNN homepage any more.

Meanwhile up in Michigan, a man was arrested for calling CNN 22 times last week and threatening, “”Fake news. I’m coming to gun you all down.” (I didn’t even realize I had relatives in Michigan, but whatevs). He called again: “I’m smarter than you. More powerful than you. I have more guns than you. More manpower. Your cast is about to get gunned down in a matter of hours.”

“I am coming to Georgia right now to go to the CNN headquarters to f—ing gun every single last one of you.”

As someone else on Twitter wondered, “Who radicalized him?”

Oh, yeah, that’s right….

 

5. Fjord Freeway*

 

*The judges will also accept “Norway To Heaven,” “Norse By Northwest” or “The Highway At The Top Of The World”

When you see stories like this travel piece on BBC.com about E69 in Norway, the world’s northernmost highway, you see the extent of what the inter web is capable of doing. This is magnificently shot, magnificently told. It awakens your spirt of wonder and exploration, no?

Music 101

Cracklin’ Rosie

It’s easy to overlook what a super-duperstar Neil Diamond is and has been, and yeah when we were in high school we thought of his music as “cheesy.” And maybe it is. But like John Denver and Barry Manilow, the man was a 70’s hit machine and how many artists have their songs belted out by 100,000 fans each week between the third and fourth quarter of Penn State football games? Diamond, who turns 77 today, announced that he has Parkinson’s on Monday and is retiring from live performing. This 1970 tune, a plea to an Ontario DJ, Rosalie Trombley, to play his record (“Play it now!”) was the first of Diamond’s TEN No. 1 hits.

Remote Patrol

Waco

10 p.m. Paramount

Taylor Kitsch, who once played Tim Riggins on Friday Night Lights, now takes on the role of Branch Davidian leader David Koresh. What is it about this actor that he loves playing brooding Texans so much? Part one of a six-part series. Spoiler alert: It all burns down in the end and 76 people die.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters

Starting Five

Get Out, Mrs. Bear!

Tsunaminations*

*The judges will also accept “The Shape Of Water”

As Tuesday opens, the big stories are a monster tsunami possibly bearing down on Alaska following a 7.9 magnitude earthquake off the coast and the Oscar nominations bearing down on Hollywood. The winner in both instances is GET OUT!

2. Early Predictions (Should Win and Will Win)

Best Actress

  • Sally Hawkins, The Shape Of Water
  • Frances McDormand, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
  • Margot Robbie, I, Tonya
  • Saoirse Ronan, Lady Bird
  • Meryl Streep, The Post

Should Win: Meryl Streep or Saoirse Ronan

Will Win: Frances McDormand (UGHH!!!!)

Best Actor

  • Timothee Chalamet, Call Me By Your Name
  • Daniel Day-Lewis, Phantom Thread
  • Daniel Kaluuya, Get Out
  • Gary Oldman, Darkest Hour
  • Denzel Washington, Roman J Israel, Esq

Should Win: Daniel Day-Lewis

Will Win: Gary Oldman

*We haven’t seen Call Me By Your Name, but maybe the kid pulls off a surprise.

Best Supporting Actress

  • Mary J Blige, Mudbound
  • Allison Janney, I, Tonya
  • Lesley Manville, Phantom Thread
  • Laurie Metcalf, Lady Bird
  • Octavia Spencer, The Shape of Water

Should Win: Laurie Metcalf

Will Win: Allison Janney

Best Supporting Actor

  • Willem Dafoe, The Florida Project
  • Woody Harrelson, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
  • Richard Jenkins, The Shape Of Water
  • Christopher Plummer, All the Money in the World
  • Sam Rockwell, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Should Win: Willem Dafoe?

Will Win: Sam Rockwell

Best Animated Picture

CoCo 

Surest thing at the Oscars, and it deserves it. Should’ve been a Best Picture nom.

Best Picture

  • Call Me By Your Name
  • Darkest Hour
  • Dunkirk
  • Get Out
  • Lady Bird
  • Phantom Thread
  • The Post
  • The Shape of Water
  • Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Should Win: Get Out 

Will Win: Three Billboards

3. From Shutdown To Shut Up

Alas, it’s Miller Time

A 32 year-old white supremacist whose entire approach to humanity is modeled after that nervous Martin Short character on Saturday Night Live, Nathan Thurm, back in the Eighties is shaping national policy.

We don’t understand the entire story, admittedly, but Stephen Miller appears to have held the government hostage by telling the Dems, “Look, if you want child health care then you are going to have to vote for THE WALL.” And the Dems caved. A reminder that Miller associated with Richard Spencer while an undergrad at (David) Duke University and worked for Jeff Sessions a few years back. America used to laugh at people like this. Sad!

4. In Plane View*

*The judges will reluctantly accept “Marilyn Hartman, Marilyn Hartman”

This 66 year-old Illinois woman, Marilyn Hartman, looks more Downton Abbey than Homeland, but it turns out she’s potentially quite lethal. Potentially.

Last week Hartman slipped past security at O’Hare Airport and flew to London, where customs officials detained her. She has previously flown from San Jose to Los Angeles and Minneapolis to Jacksonville without a ticket. Arrest her? Why, she should be giving TED talks.

5. CNN’s Second-Generation Tubers

You already know that Anderson Cooper is the son of Gloria Vanderbilt, and you probably also know that Chris Cuomo is the son of former New York City mayor Mario Cuomo (and current New York governor Andrew Cuomo). Did you know that CNN White House correspondent Pamela Brown is the daughter of erstwhile CBS NFL Today uberbabe Phyllis George (and former Kentucky governor John Y. Brown)? Well, she is.

Ask your parents: Phyllis George was the original Erin Andrews.

 

Music 101

Psycho Killer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bM9SHDNAbPw

Smarter than most, eccentric and slightly aloof: the Talking Heads were the psycho killer of bands. This song was written in 1974 but became their breakout hit in 1977 (relatively speaking, as it peaked at 92 on the Billboard chart), a time when the Zodiac and the Son of Sam were still on loose and Charles Manson had only been imprisoned a few years earlier. Related: We may be watching too much Mindhunter of late.

Remote Patrol

No. 5 Kansas at No. 12 Oklahoma

7 p.m. ESPN

If you have yet to watch Trae Young, who leads all of Division I in both Scoring (30.5 per game) and Assists (9.7 per), here’s your chance. OU is going to have the nation’s Heisman winner and Naismith winner this academic year. The Jayhawks won the Big 12 outright or tied for it in the regular season 13 consecutive years.

 

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters

Starting Five

Love Is All Around

Even the New England Patriots knew they had no business beating the Jaguars (Jag-wires?) in the AFC Championship Game. Gronk left the game in the second quarter as birds chirped around his head, 40 year-old Tom Brady had 12 stitches in his throwing hand, and both coordinators, Josh McDaniels and Matt Patricia (above), are headed to greener pastures.

This is probably the 1,000th time Robert Kraft has told Brady, “I wish you were my son”

Then Dion Lewis fumbled at the end of a double pass play after a gain of 22 yards. Myles Jack stripped him of the ball. Jags led 20-10, early fourth quarter, with the ball. They could’ve put the Patriots away right then, pretty much put the dynasty to bed.

They failed. If you have to point to one play, point to Brady converting a 3rd-and-18 when New England trailed 20-10 (that’s the same score Alabama trailed Georgia by in the 4th quarter of the NCG). Belichick and Brady will make their eighth Super Bowl appearance together. It’s as if Brady looked at the young Jags and barked, “The **** out of the way!”

And yes, even the zebras, who flagged New England ONCE yesterday, seemed in awe of this franchise.

2. Is Nate Silver Meaningless? (Spoiler Alert: Yes)

 

 Yesterday afternoon, after the New England Patriots scored a 4th quarter touchdown, self-proclaimed and ESPN-annointed probability guru Nate Silver posted the above tweet. I immediately, as is my habit, ripped it as meaningless (I guess I could’ve called it Fake News, but we’re all tired of it). Then one of Silver’s minions, an analytics dude, called me “innumerate.”

Here’s my point: the assumption that the factors that lead one to determine that the Jags, with a 20-17 lead at Foxborough in the 4th quarter of the AFC Championship game against Brady and Belichick, the assumption that any analytics prior to that moment are predictive of that moment, are absolute—how can I put it quantitatively?—horse sh*t.

Amendola’s go-ahead/winning TD catch was somewhat improbable, too, if you have NOT been watching New England the pas 17 seasons

The sport games, they involve people and emotions and certain teams reacting certain ways at certain moments. Moreover, unlike say a weather pattern or flipping a coin 100 times, the variables to this game are unique: they have never occurred before and will never occur again. To discount those variables and instead use cold analytics from, say, every NFL game the past 10 seasons when the visiting team held a 3-point lead midway through the fourth quarter, is to be so obtuse as to how sports work as to be a willful idiot.

New England won, of course, thereby “defying” Nate’s probability odds. But so what? That doesn’t make the outcome of the next game New England plays with high stakes any more or less likely. Because the conditions will not be anywhere near the same.

3. March-a, March-a, March-a

Sacramento

As females far and wide took to the streets Saturday for the second annual Women’s March, the curious coincidence of it being the first day of the government shutdown made everything just that much more poignant.

Meanwhile, the president was either being obtuse (there’s that word again) or simply trolling all the ladies:

 

 

But at least he was “working hard” at his desk (notice all the paperwork and the high-tech gadgets):

“Where’s the TV? Where’s the clicker?”

4. Too Heil A Price

At the famed Barrett-Jackson auto show in Scottsdale this weekend, a 1939 Mercedes-Benz 770K Grosser Offener Tourenwagen that once served as the official vehicle for Adolf Hitler was put up for auction.

Someone bid $7 million for it, but that price failed to meet the undisclosed minimum that the seller had set for it. Had the car sold, the seller had promised that 10% of the proceeds would go to a Jewish human-rights organization. When sheikhs are spending $450 million for paintings, $7 million for the Fuhrer’s ride is a little low. You’ve got to bid more than that, Mr. Miller.

5. Sixty Shades of Gray

This report from the BBC was startling: Moscow, Russia, received a total of six minutes of sunshine for the entire month of December, 2017. Imagine that: If yo went to take a dump at the wrong moment you missed the only available sunlight of the entire month. Above, I imagine, is one of the brighter moments of last month.

Reserves

 

Yes, but did Schefty undergo concussion protocol?

***

Manchester City has lost since we wrote about them being undefeated in EPL play earlier this month, but down in Spain F.C. Barcelona remains undefeated in La Liga. Barca is 17-3-0 after a 5-0 win at Real Betis.

****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQERftlJWz4

“I am Kristen Bell, and I am a narcissist” was the host’s best line from last night’s SAG awards. Three Billboards cleaned up again (Best Actress, Best Supporting Actor, Best Ensemble Cast) and please someone tell me that this film makes any sense to them. One example: the ex-military dude, whom we will later find out could not possibly be the suspect, enters the grieving mother’s curio shop and throws a cup at her head when he’s not the murderer and in fact doesn’t even live in that town??? That makes any sense, why? And this is like the 17th-most implausible thing that happens in this movie….

Music 101

In The Light

This haunting Led Zeppelin tune from 1975’s Physical Graffiti was used, nearly in full, to overlap the final five minutes of the first season of Netflix’s Mindhunter. If you’ve seen the show, this songs will stay with you for awhile.

Remote Patrol

Mindhunter

Netflix

Kemper (middle) with the real-life FBI agents who inspired the book and series

Finished Season 1 and you MUST watch. A few reasons: the interview with Richard Speck, the final scene with Ed Kemper in the ICU unit, the interview with the Georgia tree trimmer/murderer, Anna Torv, and last but not least, the sense of foreboding every time the words “PARK CITY, KANSAS” appear onscreen.

This video is a good intro/companion to the series, if you’ve yet to watch.

The Bitcoin Tease

by John Walters

Today, Friday, January 19, is the final day you can purchase Bitcoin Investment Trust (GBTC) at its current value. At the moment that is $1,818. On Monday the company will do a 91-for-1 (don’t ask about the 91 thing) stock split, meaning that if you own one share today, you will own 91 on Monday.

Is it worth it?

I’m only including this item—and separately from IAH!—so that you’re armed with knowledge. A year ago today GBTC was selling for $118 per share, which means that it’s value is up more than 15 times in the past year. That’s almost unheard of. If you put $10,000 down on GBTC on January 19, 2017, that would now be worth $154,000.

However, a month ago yesterday GBTC was selling at an all-time high of $3,485 per share, which means that its value has nearly halved in just the past month. Which way will the stock go now that its per share price (about $20 per share come Monday) will be so much more accessible to the home investor? We’ll see.

I’m not telling you what to do here. Just advising that the game’s taking place.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters

Starting Five

1. Flake News, Fake News, Fox News and The Post

The Washington Post made Senator Jeff Flake’s (R-Arizona) Tuesday speech very easy to digest right here, but one line stands out for me: “It bears noting that so fraught with malice was the phrase ‘enemy of the people,’ [used by Donald Trump last year in reference to the press] that even Nikita Khrushchev forbade its use, telling the Soviet Communist Party that the phrase had been introduced by Stalin for the purpose of “annihilating such individuals.”

Of course Fox News shredded Flake for using that line, telling its viewers that Flake compared Trump to Stalin and noting that the latter was responsible for the deaths of 20 million people. That’s what’s known as a straw man argument.

Meanwhile, Trump “handed out” his Fake News awards via Twitter the following night. After singling out CNN and a few others, he did his media-tailored version of “and some of them, I assume, are good people,” by noting that there were “many great reporters I respect,” (all of whom work at Fox, one assumes).

The Supreme Court voted in favor of the 1st Amendment, 6-3

Meanwhile, last night I saw The Post, in which a thin-skinned president gets so upset with a newspaper printing the truth that he bans them from being inside the White House, only to have that same newspaper end his presidency two years later. There’s a line in the film, tossed in as an aside near the end, in which someone says, “If a president can’t keep secrets, how can he effectively govern?”

George Orwell said it best, and Flake referenced this lien in his speech, ““The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it.”

2. Sea Ya Later

According to NASA, which is not known as a liberal faction, the five warmest years on record (since we started recording stats, which are for losers, in 1880) have all taken place since 1880. Warm years mean melting ice, which mean higher sea levels, which means bad news for the Bangladeshi island of Kutubdia, which may soon no longer exist.

3. President Rump

At 239 pounds (listed), Donald Trump is the third-heaviest president in U.S. history behind (and there’s a lot of it) William Howard Taft and Grover Cleveland (who was president twice). Taft, who served from 1909-1913 weighed as much as 340 pounds, though he did go on a diet in office and lost 60 pounds. He died at the age of 72.

Cleveland, who served from 1885-1889 and 1893-1897 (he is our 22nd and 24th president), weighed in the 240-280 range. He died at the age of 71.

Taft, as both prez and then later Chief Justice, was likely closer to a stable genius

Trump is 71 and will turn 72 in June, on Flag Day. He supplants as the third-heaviest president in U.S. history a man named Bill Clinton.

Taft was a pretty impressive dude, by the way, as he was also Chief Justice of the Supreme Court after leaving the White House. He is the only man ever to hold both jobs.

4. Stats Are For Losers

Allen could be one of the few people who’s ever worn brown in both college in the NFL as the primary uniform color

Yes, but if the Cleveland Browns are not losers, Mr. Kiper, then who is. Yesterday Mel Kiper, Jr., fueled the quietest of sports days by proclaiming Wyoming quarterback Josh Allen his No. 1 overall pick in his first (of a few) 2018 NFL Mock Drafts.

Responding to skepticism on ESPN’s SportsCenter, Kiper said, “Stats are for losers; the guy won,” before placing Allen ahead of Josh Rosen, Sam Darnold, Baker Mayfield, Lamar Jackson and Mason Rudolph (QBs all).

The Cowboys did go 16-11 in Allen’s two seasons as a starter, which is better than the 6-18 they want the previous two years. Then again, all the dudes named there had superior numbers than Allen last year and all except Rosen won more.

Allen’s size is mouth-wateringly appealing for NFL GMs—6’5″, 240—but last season he had the exact same TD/INT numbers (16 and 6) as Notre Dame’s Brandon Wimbush and against far inferior competition. Will he now be drafted by the Browns to supplant the dude Wimbush succeeded, DeShone Kizer?

5. Tennys, Anyone? 

At the Australian Open, unseeded American Tennys Sandgren took down 2016 U.S. Open champ Stan Wawrinka in straight sets to advance to the Round of 32. As his Wikipedia page states, “Although Tennys Sandgren is a tennis player from Tennessee, he is actually named after his great-grandfather who did not play tennis and was not from Tennessee.”

Music 101

Der Kommisar

Peak New Wave? For this early ’80s high school punk, it was 1982-83, when this song hit the top of the charts in six European and Asian countries as performed by Falco (above), then was covered in English by After The Fire and went to No. 5 in the USA.

A Word, Please

Avuncular (adj)

Relating to an uncle