Monthly Archives: November 2017

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 2 Comments

by John Walters

Starting Five

The judges will not accept “He Be Trippin’)

Say Goodnight, Grayson (“Goodnight, Grayson!”)

It sounds like an early Sixties lineup, Duke’s starting five: “Grayson Allen and the four freshmen.” Last night Allen, a senior (what is that, college hoops millennials inquire?) scored a career-high 37 as the top-ranked Dookies outlasted No. 2 Michigan State, 88-81. The game was much closer than that all night until the final three minutes.

Let the Grayson Allen Redemption Tour begin. He’s the most talented/hated Dookie since Christian Laettner and like CL, he’s got a chance to exit Durham with two national championship rings.

Bagley looked a lot like Joel Embiid, including missing lots of playing time due to injury

Tom Izzo, bizarrely, moves to 1-11 versus Coach K. Also, Duke superfrosh Marvin Bagley III sat out most of the game after a teammate inadvertently sent Three Stooges on one of his peepers. There’s no eye in team.

2. Jet Lag?

As he arrived back in the U.S.A. yesterday to news of the mass shooting in Tehama Ranch, California, Donald Trump tweeted the following:

“May God be with the people of Sutherland Springs, Texas. The FBI and Law Enforcement has arrived…”

To be fair, our president is a 70 year-old man and who can keep up with it all. After all, both Sutherland Springs (26 killed) and Tehama Ranch (4 dead) happened while he was overseas in Asia.

 

3. Chll Out, Miami and Wiscy*

Everyone likes Wisconsin, and most of us believe Alex Hornibrook would be just the dude to lead them to a 35-0 shellacking by Alabama or Clemson in a national semifinal

*The judges point you to today’s music selection below

The weekly CFP selection rankings came out last night, and do you think Herbie was just the slightest bit agitated about having to fly to Chicago on a Tuesday at this late point in the season to appear during the intermission of a hoops doubleheader? Anyway, here are the top eight, in order…

Alabama, Clemson, Miami, Oklahoma, Wisconsin, Auburn, Georgia, Notre Dame.

Almost immdiately, our friend and voluble Cane yelper, Ian Hest, was out on Twitter lambasting The U’s low placement.

 

On ESPN2 a female anchor (Jade McCarthy? Jade Scorpion? We ain’t sure…) seemed almost about to cry regarding Wisconsin’s position at 5th as an undefeated Power 5 school. She asked Booger McFarland, or as we call him, The Snot, and his reply we have since tattooed on our chest: “I believe that you have to play somebody. Just because you have that zero at the end of your name doesn’t mean you are automatically in.”

You tell her, Snot.

We’re about seven weeks away from Hunter Renfrow catching a TD pass in a third consecutive national championship contest.

Kids, kids, kids: RELAX. Every single team currently in the Top 7 is in if they win. Alabama? In. Clemson? In, and Miami out if Clemson wins out. Miami? In and Clemson out if Miami wins out. Oklahoma? The Badgers at 13-0? In, because Clemson or the Canes will drop out.

Auburn at 11-2? In, because, again, Miami or Clemson will drop and so likely will Alabama.

Georgia at 12-1? Yes, because the Pooches will have taken down Auburn and Alabama and have a better or equal record.

The highest ranked team that we just don’t see making the playoff if it wins out is Notre Dame. And the Irish wouldn’t deserve it, so there’s no problem.

Meanwhile, Miami and Wisconsin fans: You either haven’t beaten anyone in the Top 10 (Wiscy), or haven’t beaten anyone tough on the road (both), or have scraped past a few marginal teams to this point (Canes). Relax. And yes, Alabama barely beat Mississippi State on the road, but they’ve looked way better than either of you all season and, okay, for the past decade. It’ll all come out in the wash on December 2.

Simmer down. Simmer down now!

4. Blake Show

So six years later People magazine (yes, they’re still around) gets around to naming the other male star of The Voice as its Sexiest Man Alive. The choice of Blake Shelton is a safe one: it appeals to MAGA-land and the show happens to be one of, if not THE, most popular non-NFL program on television.

If it’s a country music star, we’d have gone with Brad Paisley, just because he’s funny and cool, too.

The first SMA was announced in 1985. Do you know who he was? Also, two previously names SMA’s are now dead. Can you name them?

Answers at bottom of today’s column….

5. But Did They Stop at Pink’s Hot Dogs? 

 

There are Carpool Karaoke guests, and then there are those who can really, really sing. Adele, for one. Bruno Mars, also. And then there’s Philadelphia’s own Alecia Moore, a.k.a. Pink. Take a listen (Stay tuned until the end; it’s worth it, as they do a non-Stranger Things version of the Upside Down).

Reserves

Public Service Announcement: Bernie Bernstein is not Bonnie Bernstein….

****

Fox News’ own Shepherd Smith debunks Uranium One (which sounds like a ’70s sci-fi film)

 

****

Perfect Tomi

 

Music 101

Chillout Tent

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqdT8tIrfEU

In the early aughts, as BROOKLYN was achieving hipster nirvana, there was no cooler local band than The Hold Steady. Hoist a Pabst and twirl your ironic mustache in tribute to this band and this awesome anthem dedicated to festival goers. That’s Elizabeth Elmore and David Pirner of Soul Asylum adding vocals.

Remote Patrol

Sixers at Lakers

10:30 p.m. ESPN

Hey, now, he’s going to be an All-Star….

Okay, we’re intrigued: Joel Embiid, Ben Simmons, Kyle Kuzma and Lonzo Ball. By the way, we know he’s hurt, but how dumb does the selection of Markelle Fultz look now? Jayson Tatum would’ve been a better fit for all involved in Philly, except Tatum, no?

 

Answers: Mel Gibson; John F. Kennedy, Jr., and Patrick Swayze

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 6 Comments

by John Walters

Pub Note: Stay tuned for next week’s salute to Moby Dick, when the blog will become “It’s All Harpooning”

Starting Five

1. Talkin’ About A Revolution

Gentlemen’s Quarterly names 30 year-old unemployed NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick its Citizen of the Year and dresses him up in early ’70s blaxploitation garb. You may see CK as a principled man who stood up (by kneeling) for something in which he believed and in so doing forfeited material gains; or you may see him as an unemployed black dude.

You will not see Sports Illustrated, whose subscriber demo is white males above the age of 50, following suit for its Sportsperson of the Year award.

2.  “Moore, Moore, Moore/How Do You Like It? How Do You Like It?”*

*The judges will also accept “Faith No Moore” with the subhed “You want it all/But you can’t have it”

Like thousands of other teenaged girls, Beverly Young Nelson’s academic year just wouldn’t be complete until she enticed the local district attorney to sign the inside flap of her high school yearbook. CREEPERS! This entire episode is like Stranger Things: 6.

Yesterday Nelson, well into middle age, was the latest Alabama woman to accuse Roy Moore, the Republican nominee for Jeff Sessions’ vacant Senate seat in Alabama, of sexually assaulting her when she was underage. Recommended: Moore’s Friday night interview with Fox News’ Sean Hannity, above.

 

Above, the infamous “non-denial denial” from an attorney. UPDATE: As a few sharp tweeps have pointed out, Hannity inserted the word “late” into the question. That way, even if we could prove Moore is lying here, he can always fall back on the fact that some were of legal age. Had Hannity asked, “underage” instead of “late” teens, this question takes on much more heft.

 

Above, total creepers.

3. Getting Your Rozov

World record-setting BASE jumper Valery Rozov died on Saturday (you’ll never guess how). The Russian stunt performer, 52, was attempting a jump in a wing suit off 22,349-foot Mount Ama Dablam in the Himalayas when he crashed into the side of a cliff (Rule No. 1, kids; Rule No. 1).

It’s better to really, really live and die younger than to never have lived at all (Rule 58).

Rozov’s record-setting leap.

4. Riposare In Pace, Italia

For the first time since 1958, my native peeps, the Italians, will not be a part of the World Cup. The Azzurri lost 1-0 to Sweden in a qualifier yesterday, ensuring their absence from next summer’s tournament in Russia. That’s okay: we assume Pope Francis is pulling for Argentina, anyway.

Italy will be the only country that has previously won a World Cup that will not be represented at the 2018 World Cup. Then again, only eight different nations have won a World Cup.

5. Top Jimmy

Last night Jimmy Kimmel celebrated his 50th birthday and part of the party included a Mean Tweets edition in which an impressive array of celebrities (Howard Stern, David Letterman, Liam Neeson, etc.) read tweets directed at the host. Pardon me while I clutch my Turnover Pearls, but I found the bit more depressing than funny. Only one tweet was actually funny (the one read by Larry David); the rest were actually just vulgar and devoid of any true humor. Insult comedy should still have a little bit of wit to it, no?

You be the judge.

Reserves

When you have to put your strength coach into concussion protocol. The offending player, Latrelle Lee of Tennessee State, was kicked off the team and expelled. You sort of wonder what set him off, but nothing the coach said warranted that. By the way, look at No. 45. His hands never leave his waist.

****

 

 This is where we are as a nation right now. Stefon Diggs scores a touchdown on Sunday against the Redskins and the person above decides that he’s mimicking the 9/11 attacks. And I suppose if I mention that Diggs is black I’m the one who’s obsessed with race. If you really do the mental gymnastics, can you make a case that he/she’s correct? I guess if you want to see that, you can. I doubt that’s what was going on (I mean, he could’ve gotten a teammate to leap into the other goalpost moments after if he was truly concerned about artistic expression, no?).

Music 101

Set Fire To The Rain

Six years ago this month Adele’s 2nd single from 21 went to No. 1.

Remote Patrol

No. 2 Michigan State vs. No. 2 Duke

7 p.m. ESPN

24 miles bridge: According to Gunness, the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway just north of New Orleans is the longest miles bridges

Even if you’re not ready for college basketball season to begin (at least until Thanksgiving weekend, thanks), this right-cheaah may be the premier matchup of the season. Sparty boasts the favored preseason national player of the year in sophomore swingman Miles Bridges, while Duke comes back with everyone’s favorite dastardly villain, Grayson Allen, along with super frosh Marvin Bagley III. From Chicago.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 6 Comments

by John Walters

“President Trump celebrated Veterans’ Day by finally visiting Vietnam” — Colin Jost, “Weekend Update”

(Trump really did have the ‘nads to visit Vietnam on Nov. 11. Seriously.)

Starting Five

Rookie Jayson Tatum is averaging 13.6 and 5.8 so far.

Boston? Strong

The Boston Celtics, without Gordon Hayward, won their 12th consecutive game on Sunday, 95-94 versus Toronto. Brad Stevens is a genius, because this is a lineup without Isaiah Thomas or Hayward, and yesterday even Kyrie Irving was out. The Celtics have the NBA’s top record (12-2) and Bill Simmons is ecstatic.

2. Nice Bling, Miami

The No. 7 Hurricanes owned the No.  3 Irish in the first contest between these two in Miami since 1989. The Irish had beaten the Canes four times since then, but Miami has now beaten the Irish six consecutive time in their area code. Meanwhile, Notre Dame has played two games in Hard Rock Stadium and lost 42-14 to Alabama and 41-8 to the Canes.

The difference? Many—the Irish looked out of it from the second time Miami got the ball—but you first must look at the four turnovers Miami recorded: three picks, one of them housed, and a fumble. The T.O.s resulted in 24 points, while the Irish, for the first time all year, failed to record one.

 

The Turnover Chain is for real. Because it feels that way. Perception has become truth.

Miami extends the nation’s longest win streak to 14 games, while the Irish can forget about the playoff.

3. SEAL Team Sick

The apparent murder of U.S. Army Green Beret staff sergeant Logan Melgar is a little bit A Few Good Men but a lot more Better Call Saul. If you remember why Mike Ehrmentraut’s good-cop son was killed, then you pretty much understand the case of Melgar.

The 34 year-old Texas native, stationed with a few other operatives in the African nation of Mali, had discovered that a pair of Navy SEALs were stealing from a fund used to pay informants. When they realized he was aware of it, they offered to cut him in. Melgar refused. Then he died of asphyxiation.

What is the penalty for murder in the military? Do they still hang people?

4. The Worst Wing Opens A Satellite Office In Alabama

Whenever you can destroy two white supremacists with one tweet, you gotta go for it:

 

Meanwhile, Disruptor-In-Chief Steve Bannon has dispatched “reporters” to Alabama to discredit the then 14 year-old’s story and here’s what they’ve come up with (and HOW they’ve pitched it):

 

Deplorable copy reading

If you happen to be an evangelical and you still support Roy Moore, you’re actually a white supremacist. The rest of us already knew this; now you’ve just gonna ahead and proved it. Psst: Jesus was not a white supremacist. Not even Sweet Baby Jesus was.

5. Player Demonstrations

The NFL and its fans seem to have a much stronger stomach for player demonstrations this season if it’s in the form of touchdown celebrations that ape childhood games. On Sunday the Minnesota Vikings went leapfrog (above) while last Thursday the Kansas City Chiefs went potato-sack race.

The MH staff believes this began back in early October in Chicago when the Vikes went duck-duck-goose after a KyleRudolph TD catch. We’ve seen another team play hide-and-go seek. Still waiting for a spin-the-bottle charade.

Wouldn’t it be funny if we later learned that the players were doing this as their own, for-our-eyes-only protest to what’s been going on in this country? Maybe so, maybe not. But it does make you wonder why the refs are not flagging them for excessive celebration. I guess it’s not seen as taunting, but it’s also, for The Shield, a respite from players taking a knee during the anthem. Sometimes you have to give the inmates a small victory, no?

Meanwhile, the 49ers won their first game of the season against the New York Giants (who themselves have only one victory), leaving the Cleveland Browns (0-9) all alone as the worst NFL team and likely making USC’s Sam Darnold think long and hard about staying in school one more year. Baker Mayfield is going to win the Heisman, but you’d be better off not taking the six-footer who holds the football too long as your QB at the NFL level. And I hate betting against Baker Mayfield, but he’s not quite Russell Wilson, is he?

Reserves

Never change, Bill Walton. Never change.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIl9KwR8vcs

***

Earthquake on the Iraq-Iran border of magnitude 7.7 kills more than 300. You probably did not know any of them…

***

No. 5 Kentucky holds on to defeat Vermont, 73-69. Meanwhile, unranked Appalachian State holds on against Toccoa Falls, 135-34. Yes, that’s right. The vanquished team should now be known as Toccoa Falls Hard?

****

Quick Curb Review: Larry is kicked out of a yoga class for refusing to say, “Namaste” (“There is no light within me…”), uses Asperger’s as an excuse for poor behavior (“I’m on the spectrum”), is rated as a “2” from a dating standpoint if he were on Uber and is rated even lower by an actual Uber driver from Romania, and Leon gets off the line of the night after a white man mistakes him for Larry and he does Larry a solid, thereby feeling entitled to remain in Larry’s 92-degree home having sex with the very yoga instructor who booted Larry from the class: “Namaste here mother*ck*r.”

Romanian. Give it a Bucharest, Larry.

Music 101

Got To Be Real

In 1978 at the apex (or nadir, if you wish) of the disco era, Cheryl Lynn released this hit that went to No. 12 on the pop chart and No. 11 on the disco chart. The session guitarist was Ray Parker, Jr., who would have a bigger hit a few years later with the theme from Ghostbusters.

A Word, Please

Sinecure, noun

A position requiring little or no work but providing status or financial benefit (e.g., replay guy for networks)

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 2 Comments

by John Walters

Starting Five

F-U., C.K.

You too, Louie? Noooooooooooo!

Yesterday afternoon The New York Times outed our favorite comedian (“Everything’s amazing, and nobody’s happy…”), Louis C.K., as a serial in-your-face onanist. Vulture.com speculates that C.K., the premiere of whose film I Love You, Daddy, which involved a too-close-for-comfort Woody Allen-type character, was shelved just hours prior to the curtain rising yesterday, is done professionally. We’ll see.

Glen, Betty. Creepers.

Soon after that news broke, a former female writer on Mad Men accused series creator Matt Weiner of once calling her into his office and telling her that she “owed it to [him] to see her naked.” Now how would anyone suspect a guy who wrote his own prepubescent son into a story arc that involves an inappropriate relationship with Betty Draper as being a perv? C’mon!

2. Lock Him Up

My, what a small gun you have, mister.

Turning to more sexual predator breaking news, Alabama Republican and senatorial candidate Judge Roy Moore, the homophobic xenophobe (or if you prefer, xenophobic homophobe) who whips out his gun at rallies, has been accused by a woman of having an inappropriate relationship when she was only 14 years old (Moore, then an assistant DA, was 32). The story in The Washington Post found at least three other underage females who had gone out with Moore when he was in his 30s.

It gets creepier: Moore allegedly picked her up at a custody hearing. Hers.

Breitbart defended Moore (without denying ALL of the allegations) before the story in The Washington Post even appeared, which means they have a direct pipeline to Moore’s/the Alt-Right’s headquarters and heart (Hello, Steve B.). Obviously, the Post had phoned Moore seeking comment and his staff alerted Breitbart so that they could run a “prebuttal” piece.  Part of that piece downplayed Moore’s dating a 17 year-old, saying that the girl “characterized Moore as being romantic, reading poetry to her, and playing the guitar. The woman is cited saying that physical contact only involved kissing and did not progress any further.”

Again….creepers.

Once upon a time, an Alabama lawyer and a little girl were involved in a healthy relationship

Steve Bannon compared the allegations to the Access Hollywood tape, meaning that he saw it as no more than a partisan hit job coming right before an election. We’ll say this: If you want to go that route, yes, it IS possible that a far-left group created this entire story with willing “victims” to undermine Moore’s election. That is possible. However, the reason it is not like the Access Hollywood tape is that in the latter, there was actual on-camera evidence of the candidate bragging about sexual assault. So, for us, Roy Moore is not yet in the league of Donald Trump in terms of sexual predations. Congrats, Judge.

Meanwhile, as fringe elements of Republicans STILL cling to a defense of Moore, people are asking what the GOP stands for. But maybe the question is more literal than that. What does “GOP” stand for? A few suggestions:

Guardians Of Pedophiles

Guns Over People

Gutless Obsequious Panderers

3. Catholics And Convicts

We’re going to promote this little story we wrote that appeared in yesterday’s The Athletic and is still up on the site. The premise (we don’t know if the link will work) is that notorious U of the 1980s was a lot like Knute Rockne’s Notre Dame of the 1920s.

For the price of a small cup of coffee, you can have access to The Athletic every month

4. WNB-EH?

Our (unpaid) North-of-the-Border correspondent, Moose, alerts us to the story of the Edmonton Grads, the archetype dominant women’s hoops team. Before UConn, before Tennessee, even before Immaculata, there were the Grads, who won the first women’s world championship (1924) and who between 1915-1940 compiled a record of 502-20. The Grads went to four Olympics, finishing 27-0 at the Games, but did not win a medal since women’s hoops was simply an exhibition sport then.

Be the first on your block to own this retro jersey

Here’s a swell video on The Grads, who have one surviving member left, 95 year-old Kay McBeth (“Out, out, brief candle!”). According to Moose, they were inducted into the Canadian Sports Hall of Fame  last night.

Fellow Canadian James Naismith who, you know, invented basketball, called the Grads “the finest basketball team that ever stepped out on a floor,” but who knows, maybe he was just trying to get into their shorts (See Items 1 and 2, above).

5. Nabbed!

This is Eric Rivers, who had just robbed a bank and was in the process of scoping out a few more when he stopped in suburban Atlanta to give a man-on-the-street interview about the lack of public transportation. A tipster phoned in and said he resembled the bank robber, and Rivers was soon apprehended. Idris Elba will play him in the TV movie. Do they still make TV movies? I don’t think so.

Music 101

Lollipops and Roses

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJn-lzcvmWU

As our staffers were downloading this video, the TV was providing us the details of the allegations against Louis C.K. Holy juxtaposition, Batman! Jack Jones was talented and handsome but somehow failed to become the successor to Frank Sinatra and by the time we happened upon him in the Seventies, he was singing the theme to The Love Boat. Jones, who has been married six times, won the Grammy in 1962 (Best Male Pop Performance) for this song. He’s still around, performing in Vegas at age 79.

Reserves

Clay Travis: Liar or Bad At Math

Last Friday the founder of Outkick The Coverage reported he was 57-55 on his college football gambling picks for the season (I guess you could go back and fact-check if even those numbers are accurate). Then he proceeded to go 4-7 in his picks.

This week he returns claiming he is 64-61 on the season, although if you add those numbers from up above, the sum should be 61-62. So what’s up with that, we wonder?

Remote Patrol

No. 9 Washington at Stanford

10:30 p.m. FS1

Dante Pettis is the NCAA’s all-time leader in punt return touchdowns with 9…

An uncommonly compelling Pac-12 After Dark on a Friday evening. The Pooches need to win to keep the Great Scott Conference’s slim playoff hopes alive, while Bryce Love needs a showcase game on national television to continue the Cardinal’s grand tradition of producing a Heisman runner-up. We’ll be watching.

IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters | 7 Comments

by John Walters

Starting Five

Brad Paisley Park and A Better Underwood Than Frank

Kids, I hoped you watched the CMA’s last night, or at least the opening. Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood were their usual brilliant selves—imagine if they did this, say, 10 to 22 times per year as opposed to just once (nudge, nudge, network execs)—poking fun the left, right and alt-right. This is how Sonny and Cher used to do it, and Bob Hope, too. There’s a way to have fun at politicians’ expense without being so hostile (we’ve obviously not mastered that trick).

I don’t know if the entire opening will ever be available on YouTube, but here’s what I’m able to share. Also, if you can find Little Big Town’s tribute to Glen Campbell with “Wichita Lineman,” we’d love to see it.

2. Rockin’ The Paradise Papers

If you have yet to dive into the “Paradise Papers” (guilty), let me tell you that there are a plethora of folks inside the Beltway and on Wall Street that hope you never do. The super-rich and super-influential don’t play by the rules when it comes to accumulating wealth and hiding it, and this information about having offshore bank accounts so that they can avoid paying taxes exposes them.

There are like, 13 million files that have been leaked, so good luck sifting through it all, journos. Some of the people who have offshore holdings are Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and chief economic advisor Gary Cohn, who yesterday told CNBC, “I’m not embarrassed at all. This is the way the world works.”

It’s true. A lot of this is legal. Wall Street is brazen when it comes to the notion that they deserve to be rich and things don’t need to be fair.

3. China Bitch

If we hear just one of these dudes use the word “adversity,” we’re going to vomit.

You have to hand it to UCLA Bruins LiAngelo Ball, Jalen Hill and Cody Riley. Sure, the trio were phenomenally stupid for stealing sunglasses from a Louis Vuitton store in Hangzhou—I mean, what store security guard in China is going to pay attention to three tall African-American young men, right?

On the other hand, they did the deed and were arrested in the very week that a U.S. president visits China, which doesn’t happen every day. There has to be some pressure on the Chinese to make this go away.

Our bet is that they get a fine and a slap on the wrists and may even be able to travel back home with their teammates this weekend. Now we’ll just have to see how Steve Alford and Westwood World handles it.

4. Coke Zero*

*The judges will also accept “Record Snortfall” and “Blow Hole”

In Colombia, officials seized a record amount of cocaine, 12 tons, with a street value of $360 million. It’s the largest haul of its kind. In related news, your Thanksgiving weekend high school reunions are going to suck (as opposed to blow).

5. Outer Spacey

Remember, Kevin Spacey is a two-time Oscar winner, and there are not many of those. He also appears to be a serial sexual predator, and there are many of those. Yesterday Heather Unruh, a former news anchor in Boston, held a press conference to report that Spacey sexually assaulted her son at a Nantucket bar, the Club Car (we’ve tipped a few back there…without incident) last summer (I’ll leave the limerick to you). In her address, Unruh stated that Spacey flirted with her 18 year-old son (yes, he was underage) and then stuck his hands down his pants. “Spacey stuck his hand inside my son’s pants and grabbed his genitals.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQLwjVu_v6k

I don’t think Spacey’s going to be invited back to the Oscars lunch this winter. His career is over.

Reserves

Roy Halladay plane crash video…

Music 101

Belong

It’s the 25th anniversary of REM’s “classic” album, Automatic For The People, but I actually like 1991’s Out Of Time (and NOT because of “Losing My Religion;” almost in spite of it). This is just one of many gems from REM in the midst of its peak, if that’s possible.

Remote Patrol

Cavs at Rockets 

8 p.m. TNT

The second half of this doubleheader is Thunder at Nuggets, but I’d much rather watch Sixers at Kings. Wouldn’t you? Are the Cavaliers still fun, by the way? Sure, Susie B. thinks so, but they’re going to miss Kyrie for a loooooooooong time.