by John Walters

Starting Five

Say Goodnight, Grayson (“Goodnight, Grayson!”)

It sounds like an early Sixties lineup, Duke’s starting five: “Grayson Allen and the four freshmen.” Last night Allen, a senior (what is that, college hoops millennials inquire?) scored a career-high 37 as the top-ranked Dookies outlasted No. 2 Michigan State, 88-81. The game was much closer than that all night until the final three minutes.

Let the Grayson Allen Redemption Tour begin. He’s the most talented/hated Dookie since Christian Laettner and like CL, he’s got a chance to exit Durham with two national championship rings.

Tom Izzo, bizarrely, moves to 1-11 versus Coach K. Also, Duke superfrosh Marvin Bagley III sat out most of the game after a teammate inadvertently sent Three Stooges on one of his peepers. There’s no eye in team.

2. Jet Lag?

As he arrived back in the U.S.A. yesterday to news of the mass shooting in Tehama Ranch, California, Donald Trump tweeted the following:

“May God be with the people of Sutherland Springs, Texas. The FBI and Law Enforcement has arrived…”

To be fair, our president is a 70 year-old man and who can keep up with it all. After all, both Sutherland Springs (26 killed) and Tehama Ranch (4 dead) happened while he was overseas in Asia.

 

We’re already on to the next one….catch up. https://t.co/OlBAheznih

— Medium Happy (@jdubs88) November 15, 2017

3. Chll Out, Miami and Wiscy*

*The judges point you to today’s music selection below

The weekly CFP selection rankings came out last night, and do you think Herbie was just the slightest bit agitated about having to fly to Chicago on a Tuesday at this late point in the season to appear during the intermission of a hoops doubleheader? Anyway, here are the top eight, in order…

Alabama, Clemson, Miami, Oklahoma, Wisconsin, Auburn, Georgia, Notre Dame.

Almost immdiately, our friend and voluble Cane yelper, Ian Hest, was out on Twitter lambasting The U’s low placement.

 

A reminder (for the 3rd week in a row) @CFBPlayoff, that #Canes beat the team that beat Clemson.

— (((Ian Hest))) (@IanHest) November 15, 2017

On ESPN2 a female anchor (Jade McCarthy? Jade Scorpion? We ain’t sure…) seemed almost about to cry regarding Wisconsin’s position at 5th as an undefeated Power 5 school. She asked Booger McFarland, or as we call him, The Snot, and his reply we have since tattooed on our chest: “I believe that you have to play somebody. Just because you have that zero at the end of your name doesn’t mean you are automatically in.”

You tell her, Snot.

Kids, kids, kids: RELAX. Every single team currently in the Top 7 is in if they win. Alabama? In. Clemson? In, and Miami out if Clemson wins out. Miami? In and Clemson out if Miami wins out. Oklahoma? The Badgers at 13-0? In, because Clemson or the Canes will drop out.

Auburn at 11-2? In, because, again, Miami or Clemson will drop and so likely will Alabama.

Georgia at 12-1? Yes, because the Pooches will have taken down Auburn and Alabama and have a better or equal record.

The highest ranked team that we just don’t see making the playoff if it wins out is Notre Dame. And the Irish wouldn’t deserve it, so there’s no problem.

Meanwhile, Miami and Wisconsin fans: You either haven’t beaten anyone in the Top 10 (Wiscy), or haven’t beaten anyone tough on the road (both), or have scraped past a few marginal teams to this point (Canes). Relax. And yes, Alabama barely beat Mississippi State on the road, but they’ve looked way better than either of you all season and, okay, for the past decade. It’ll all come out in the wash on December 2.

Simmer down. Simmer down now!

4. Blake Show

So six years later People magazine (yes, they’re still around) gets around to naming the other male star of The Voice as its Sexiest Man Alive. The choice of Blake Shelton is a safe one: it appeals to MAGA-land and the show happens to be one of, if not THE, most popular non-NFL program on television.

If it’s a country music star, we’d have gone with Brad Paisley, just because he’s funny and cool, too.

The first SMA was announced in 1985. Do you know who he was? Also, two previously names SMA’s are now dead. Can you name them?

Answers at bottom of today’s column….

5. But Did They Stop at Pink’s Hot Dogs? 

 

There are Carpool Karaoke guests, and then there are those who can really, really sing. Adele, for one. Bruno Mars, also. And then there’s Philadelphia’s own Alecia Moore, a.k.a. Pink. Take a listen (Stay tuned until the end; it’s worth it, as they do a non-Stranger Things version of the Upside Down).

Reserves

Public Service Announcement: Bernie Bernstein is not Bonnie Bernstein….

****

Fox News’ own Shepherd Smith debunks Uranium One (which sounds like a ’70s sci-fi film)

 

Here’s the full segment: https://t.co/sErPpqLvVe

— Matthew Gertz (@MattGertz) November 14, 2017

****

Perfect Tomi

 

you’re not totally wrong pic.twitter.com/CCkfAsGq8Q

— nothing doing (@myleshowardwc) November 13, 2017

Music 101

Chillout Tent

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqdT8tIrfEU

In the early aughts, as BROOKLYN was achieving hipster nirvana, there was no cooler local band than The Hold Steady. Hoist a Pabst and twirl your ironic mustache in tribute to this band and this awesome anthem dedicated to festival goers. That’s Elizabeth Elmore and David Pirner of Soul Asylum adding vocals.

Remote Patrol

Sixers at Lakers

10:30 p.m. ESPN

Okay, we’re intrigued: Joel Embiid, Ben Simmons, Kyle Kuzma and Lonzo Ball. By the way, we know he’s hurt, but how dumb does the selection of Markelle Fultz look now? Jayson Tatum would’ve been a better fit for all involved in Philly, except Tatum, no?

 

Answers: Mel Gibson; John F. Kennedy, Jr., and Patrick Swayze