by John Walters

A Medium Happy 37th to Kate Hudson, who has been upping her Watt-age lately. You’ll always be Penny Lane to us….

Starting Five

I hope everyone in Houston owns Samsung Galaxy phones….

1. Houston Nuts

An estimated 240 billion gallons of rain water fell on Houston on Sunday and Monday, leaving much of the fourth-largest city in America under water. Five people are dead, all of them found in partially or fully submerged vehicles. Now wait until the homeless water moccasins are seen floating past.

Can horsies swim?

No word yet on how this will impact the Warriors-Rockets series, Games 3 and 4 of which are scheduled later this week in Houston. Why not hold them in LA or Phoenix? Do the Rockets even care about playing?

2. FRINGS BACK

Wouldn’t it just be easier to slip some ricin into Hector’s Splenda packet?

Someone, I don’t know who, figured out before last night’s season finale that the first letter of the titles of the 10 episodes of season two of Better Call Saul were an anagram for “FRINGS BACK.” And Vince Gilligan pretty much copped to it on Talking Saul after the episode. So I think we can reasonably surmise who scrawled “DON’T” on a piece of paper and left it on Mike’s windshield. For trivia buffs, that was mesquite wood that was left to jam the horn.

Elsewhere, Chuck’s jealousy of Jimmy is now seen as the impetus for his hatred of him. And Chuck out-Slippin’ Jimmys Jimmy in the season’s final scene. This will also cause collateral damage for Ernesto, who lied to save Jimmy’s bacon. Our hero does have moxie; his Achilles heel is his loyalty to his big brother.

Space Blanket Oddity

This show just keeps getting better. Hoping more viewers are finding it. It alternates between high comedy (“I want a coffee, too, but no cream”), deadly Breaking Bad moments, and also the most primal emotions in terms of relationships. Vince Gilligan is now responsible for two of the best shows of Peak TV.

Quick Note: “Gimme Jimmy!” is every bit as good a catch phrase as “Better Call Saul.”

Quick Note 2: The season finale of BCS featured very little of Kim Wexler (Rhea Seehorn), and the season finale of Vinyl had zero of Devon (Olivia Wilde). The leading ladies got pushed aside.

Quick Note 3: How much better of a show would Talking Saul be if its producers/Chris Hardwick were not so obsesses with catering to short-attention span millennials (and non-millennials)? The show is so frenetic and in debt to its quizzes, reader polls, etc., that it never settles down long enough for some serious discussion. Last night Jonathan Banks, who plays Mike, attempted to briefly hijack the show by opining on the nature of brothers and forgiveness, and you could tell he really had something to say, and all Hardwick did was stand up and say, “I’m going to give you a hug.” What a missed opportunity by both Hardwick and the show. And we know he’s more intelligent than that. It’s too bad he doesn’t trust his audience or his gut. That could’ve been an actual moment.

Quick Note 4: Predictions for Season 3: Chuck uses the tape to blackmail Jimmy into agreeing to change his name professionally in exchange for not pursuing felony charges. Gus introduces himself to Mike, suggests they work together behind the scenes.

Sepinwall’s review is here.

3. “Hamilton” Wins Pulitzer

A Grammy, a Pulitzer and now a boatload of Tonys on the way soon

Not unlike the hero of his play, Lin-Manuel Miranda is a New Yorker whose family originated in a tropical island. Also, he is a gifted and prolific writer. Yesterday the Broadway musical won a Pulitzer Prize for drama (Ron Chernow’s tome, Hamilton, from which Miranda drew inspiration, never won the Pulitzer).

I have thus become inspired to write my own musical based on the life of a non-presidential political power broker. Say hello to “Stephanopoulos.”

“George Stephanopoulos/My name is George Stephanopoulos

I’ll tell the Clintons ‘I’m on top of this’/Just you wait, just wait”

4. Villains of Round One

Steven Adams will not stop morphing his look until he is cast in an episode of “Narcos”

The NBA playoffs began last night: a home team, Oklahoma City, lost. A few first-round villains thus far: Steven Adams (who came a fraction of a second away from making the game-winning putback; hello, St. Joe’s?), Patrick Beverly of Houston, LeBron James of Cleveland (just seeing if Susie B. is reading), etc.

I know this is an annual whine, but can we agree that the NBA playoffs are an interminable trudge and slog, assuaged only by the presence of the “Inside the NBA” crew? The entire affair should be at least 3 weeks briefer. Best-of-five first two rounds, then best-of-seven last two rounds.

5. Canada Dry

The ’93 Canadiens were the last Canada-based club to hoist Lord Stanley’s Cup (though it is not being hoisted here)

Overlooked here (as we overlook everything hockey), but there are no Canadian clubs in the 16-team NHL Stanley Cup playoffs. Seven of the NHL’s teams are from north of the border, as are more than half its skaters, but for the first time in since 1969-70, no Canadian team is in the playoffs.

If you include Buffalo, which is almost Canada, that’s all eight teams from Canadian, hockey-mad cities not vying for Lord Stanley’s Cup. And for the 23rd year in a row, a Canadian club will not win the thing.

Maybe Canada needs to dump Justin Trudeau and install notorious winner Donald Trump as its prime minister?

Music 101 

Los Angeles

Unlike most cool trends, punk rock started out on the East Coast and eventually made its way west in the form of the band X. The band’s 1980 debut album, “Los Angeles,” was recently named the ninth-best punk rock album (“of all time,” not that they were releasing many punk albums in the 1400s) by Rolling Stone. That’s spouses John Doe and Exene Cervenka on vocals.

Remote Patrol

The Night Manager 

10 p.m. AMC

I have no ideas if this will be any good, but the reviews of this six-part spy thriller miniseries have been stellar and as a frequent viewer of AMC, I’ve seen the promos dating back to when Ben Carson and Marco Rubio were still running for president. Besides, Hugh Laurie is good in everything he does and British people are smarter than we are with better accents. We just do food better than they do.

by John Walters

A Medium Happy 29th to Rosie Huntington-Whitely, who maybe should’ve been wearing a seat belt in Mad Max: Fury Road

Starting Five

Leonardo Ulloa after scoring the equalizer in the 95th minute

1 Anarchy in the U.K.

Note: Jamie Vardy, the leading scorer in the EPL this season for Leicester City, the leading club in the UK this year, boots in a magnificent strike in the first half versus West Ham United.

Note: Vardy is sent off in the second half for flopping (imagine this ever happening in the NBA, to the league’s leading scorer).

Vardy’s flop earned him a second yellow, which equals a red. Buh bye, Jamie.

Note: West Ham scores to goals after the 83rd minute, against a depleted Foxes squad of 10 men (you go with 10 after someone gets a red card, as Vardy did), to go up 2-1 late.

Final Note: With less than 20 seconds remaining in stoppage time, the ultimate touch foul is called against West Ham (I guess the term “makeup call” applies on either side of the pond). Leicester gets a penalty kick, scores, and secures a draw.

2. Lame Of Thrones

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zWdz6oQiWE

Some doors should remain closed. The Guns n’ Roses reunion at Coachella, from all accounts, was a sad, puffy and recumbent affair as Axl Rose literally could not stand to perform (he’d broken his foot a few weeks earlier during GnR’s get-the-rust-off show in L.A.). Axl is now 54 and his voice hasn’t aged well. Tariq down in your mail room probably does a better karaoke version of “Sweet Child O’ Mine” now than Rose does.

To be fair: Slash still wields a mean axe.

Meanwhile, the journos seemed to have sharpened their knives this year to attack “Bro-achella” and the whiny, trust-fund millennials who attend the show. Oh well. I guess we’re all heading back to Bonnaroo….

3. Vinyl: Whacks Job

Vinyl: The Yid Stays In the Picture (Heyyyy, that is totally not PC)

The season finale of Vinyl was the show’s strongest reminder yet that Martin Scorcese is an executive producer, as Joey got whacked in a meeting with the godfather, Corrado Golasso, who “didn’t care much” for a certain mob film that was released that year, 1973 (yes, I know, Scorcese had nothing to do with that movie; he was busy making Mean Streets and Taxi Driver at the time).

Zac (Ray Romano) maybe shoulda got whacked, but he didn’t.

For music nerds, there was a nod to CBGB (which will rechristen itself as such next year but for now is just an East Village dive bar where Richie meets his FBI liaison and where Buds are $1) and Freddie Mercury. The season ends as the series began: with a New York Dolls show that is unavoidably interrupted just as it was catching fire.

Next season: Stay tuned for The Ramones, KISS and Patti Smith, all of whom hit the NYC scene that year.

4. Swoopes, There It Is

Oh, sit your ass down on that bench (seems to be what Swoopes’ glare here says)

Five women’s basketball players transferred after last season at Loyola of Chicago.

Ten players are requesting a transfer now.

Sheryl Swoopes (three Olympic gold medals, three WNBA MVPs, four WNBA championships, an NCAA-record 47 points in the 1993 championship game) is the Ramblers’ coach, and has been for third season. There won’t be a fourth.

5. Dotting Their Eyes

It’s not about being liberal or conservative. It’s about respecting that your adversaries have the same rights that you do.

Love this: an Ohio State administrator CALMLY but FIRMLY addresses students and lets them know that grown-ups have rights, too. AdultLivesMatter.

Music 101

Keep Yourself Alive

This was Queen‘s first single, in 1973. It’s also its first song from its first album, “Queen.” The song failed to crack the Top 100 on the charts in either the U.K. or the U.S. At the time Queen could only secure recording time in its studio between 3 a.m. and 7 a.m. because the other hours were reserved for the real bands.

Remote Patrol

Dancing With the Stars

ABC 8 p.m.

Mike and Jimmy will survive tonight’s finale. Who won’t?

I keed, I keed! It’s the Season 2 finale of Better Call Saul (10 p.m., AMC). Did Chuck die? Will Jimmy tell Kim that he watched as his brother collapsed and did not call 911? Is Howard actually a bot? Where are Mike and Hector Tulamanca headed? Stay tuned for Talking Saul at 11 p.m. immediately after….or go watch the Dubs without Stephen Curry, or go to sleep for chrissakes!

by John Walters

“A girl turns 19….” Medium Happy birthday to Maisie Williams, alias Arya Stark….

Starting Five

Only one of these candidates can correctly use the word “schmear” in a sentence

1  Kvetch Me If You Can

A Democratic debate was staged in Brooklyn last night and we don’t care what state Hillary purported to represent as a U.S. Senator, Bernie had home-court advantage.

It was a very outer-borough affair, as two people raised their voices to one another before finally throwing their hands up in the air and exclaiming, “Fuggedaboutit!” At one point CNN’s Wolf Blitzer chided, “”If you are both screaming at each other, the viewers won’t be able to hear either of you.”

Still the best debate to take place in Brooklyn….

It’s as if he’s never even been to Brooklyn….

Some highlights here…

2. Minnesota Tloses*

Even with Joe Mauer in the lineup and hitting .387, the Twins have scored an MLB-low 14 runs in nine games

Minnesota is 0-9. So are the Barves. The 1991 World Series is not walking through that door this year. If you visit the Twins home page on ESPN, the top story reads, “The Twins are Bad, But the Braves are Depressing.”

• See, cuz they’re not the Twins

3. Stewie Joins Sue in Seattle

From ‘A Knighting to Remember’ to “A Night to Remember’ in just 9 days

The WNBA draft was held last night (I’m assuming they did not stage it the night before out of respect for Kobe?) at the Mohegan Sun casino in southeast Connecticut and the first three players chosen were UConn Huskies: Breanna Stewart to the Seattle Storm, Moriah Jefferson to the San Antonio Silver Starts and Morgan Tuck is staying right there with the Connecticut Sun.

It is believed to be the first time any pro sport has staged a draft in which the first three players taken were all from the same team. I was really hoping someone would select Thon Maker just to stir up some sh*t.

4. Why Not The Go-Go’s?

So Rolling Stone, whose founder Jann Wenner is basically the gatekeeper of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, concedes that maybe Steve Miller had a point that more females need to be in the Hall. And so it puts out a list/slideshow of 15 women who should be considered, among them Dionne Warwick, Whitney Houston, Dolly Parton, Yoko Ono (!) and Janet Jackson. Problem, and sorry but Gene Simmons had a point, none of them are rock and roll.

You know who didn’t make RS’s list of 15? The Go-Go’s. Who were definitely female and who were definitely kick ass rock and roll. Damn, but did Belinda and the girls make high school fun… (maybe Jann is angry at Belinda for “Heaven Is a Place on Earth”?)

5. Where In The World?

Hint: probably not very safe to travel here now….

To refresh: Last week’s site was The Witchery, a restaurant located in Edinburgh, Scotland.*

*You haven’t been to Scotland yet? What are you waiting for, it’s incredible!

Music 101

Life on Mars

In the wake of David Bowie‘s death, this song has only grown in stature, and far more relatively than any of his other hits. Last month it was featured in Vinyl and recently Jimmy Fallon and Chris Martin paired up to pay tribute to Bowie with this version. Written in 1971 by Bowie and inspired by Paul Anka’s/Frank Sinatra’s “My Way,” it has been described as “a cross between a Broadway musical and a Salvado Dali painting.” Bowie filmed the video below in 1973, six years before MTV was introduced. He was always way ahead of his time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v–IqqusnNQ

Remote Patrol

Vinyl 

Sunday 9 p.m. HBO

Lester and Jamie throwing shade at the Nasty Bits. Same look impossible-to-please TV critics give the show.

For the first time in at least five weekends, there are no compelling sports on TV (shush, hockey fans!). May I recommend catching up on the first season of HBO’s Vinyl so that you can be ready for Sunday’s season finale. It’s slightly uneven, but Bobby Cannavale is fantastic as Richie Finestra and I love Ato Essandoh as Lester, Richie’s long-time frenemy. This scene featuring Lester is one of the highlights of Season One.

by John Walters

A Medium Happy 75th to Charllie Hustle….a.k.a. The Hit King. Put him in the Hall, already.

and a Medium Happy 76th to Julie Christie…

Starting Five

50 For 60

Okay, sure, the Utah Jazz played the role of Wolfsburg (or the Washington Generals), partiucularly in the fourth quarter, when Kobe scored 23 points all by himself, but the Mamba goes out scoring 60 points (for the 6th time in his career) on 50 shots, more than anyone in a sing game since Wilt Chamberlain retired.

He started out 0 for 5, but had 37 points after three quarters. Utah led 93-84 with 3;32 left and all that you or me or Mike Tirico cared about in the moment was whether Kobe, who had 45 at the time, would reach 50. He outscored the Jazz 15-2 over the next 3:27 (Jordan Clarkson added a dunk with :04 left) without another Laker scoring. L.A. won, 101-96.

This first quarter reverse lay-up with his back to the basket dropped, an omen for what was to come….

Hey, both teams somewhat grooved pitches for Kobe, but he still delivered. It was incredible how much more intriguing this game was than the one upstate.

His final career numbers: 33,643 points in 1346 games for a scoring average of…

24.9947994056

No all-time great has ever finished his or her career with a more emblematic game that I can recall. Ted Williams’ home run in his final at bat or Derek Jeter’s walk-off single in his final Yankee Stadium at-bat are the only two moments that come to mind.

Bryant thanked everyone after, then said, “Mamba Out.” The shirts bearing that phrase were already on sale on line

2. Oh, By The Way….*

Curry was 10 of 19 from beyond the arc to push him above 400 for the season

As a sub- “By the way,” Harden scored 38 and the Rockets won by 35 to clinch the 8th and final playoff spot out west

3. Griezmann Is THE MAN

I don’t think this is legal

In UEFA Champions League play, Antoine Griezmann of Atletico Madrid scores on a header in the first half and a penalty kick (following a blatant hand ball) in the second. Atletico Madrid knocks out reigning champions FC Barcelona, 2-0. Lionel Messi, the Curry of soccer, is a non-factor and has now gone more than 450 minutes without a goal as he remains stuck on 499 for his Spanish club career.

4. Fargo —> Far West

“Stay tuned for the ‘Best of Carson’….

The St. Louis Los Angeles Rams have traded with the Tennessee Titans for the first overall pick, and suddenly Carson Wentz is there to fill that long and aching Kobe void that L.A. has been feeling for nearly 11 hours (or does Jeff Fisher want Jared Goff? I dunno).

Or will we be saying of the Rams, “They went to Jared?” I have no NFL draftnik reasons for making this claim, but I think the Rams will take Wentz

Admire the moxie, and a good way for the Rams to make a splash with their old-and-new fans. The Titans get two first-, two second- and two third-round picks in the next two seasons. Very smart move by the non-Memphis Mariotas.

5. Taylor Swift Meets Jason Gay, Goes Platinum

Swift has now hung out with Jason Gay and Chuck Klosterman in the past nine months, which might be cool for her if she had a podcast

Brooklyn-based husband/dad and cycling aficionado meets eastern Pennsylvania native/worldwide pop culture sensation. I don’t know how this transpired, but I cannot wait to read this piece. In Vogue.

Music 101

 Remote Patrol

West Side Story

8 p.m. TCM

Jets. Sharks. “We’re gonna build a wall/And Puerto Rico’s gonna pay for it.”

As opposed to “Upper West Side Story,” a less entertaining musical about a sportswriter who lives with his cat and occasionally leaves his apartment for exercise and Hostess snack cakes.

by John Walters

A Medium Happy 65th to Max Weinberg, who’s had the best seat in rock ‘n roll for more than 40 years

Starting Five

It’s Ronaldo’s planet; we just sub in on it.

Cristiano the Redeemer

Real Madrid trailed Wolfsburg 2-0 in aggregate goals heading into yesterday’s second leg of they’re there their UEFA Champions League quarterfinal. Los Merengues would need 3 goals, at least, to advance to the next round. They got exactly that from Cristiano Ronaldo, who may be the best soccer player in the world (outside of Spain), in a 3-0 win.

Ronaldo scored on touch pass in the 16th minute, on a header off a corner kick in the 17th, and on a penalty kick outside the penalty box in the 77th. It was glorious. Real Madrid absolutely needed their leader to step up against the Germans—I mean, did any sports movie ever have a heavy that looked more beatable than Wolfsburg?—and he did.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDtEZGeqD-s&ebc=ANyPxKqua1KHT18fn6cADReDo6AyrIPYpVhbMwBcdHbwa9yNAETzsYCybJSvwKgqERNAX3EVS4ffBVtfLNeOrmIypzSrwlqkXw&nohtml5=False

The secret to CR7’s success is that he paralyzes defenders and keepers with his GQ cover handsomeness, and then moves in for the kill (it takes one to know one). I believe that’s his fifth hat trick in Champions League play. Most footballers would rightfully consider five goals in Champions League play a career achievement.

Madeira: Okay, twist our arms, we’ll hold the next staff retreat here.

One thing I love about Ronaldo, 31: he was born and raised on the tiny island of Madeira, which sits about 580 miles west of Morocco in the Atlantic Ocean. Greatness can come from anywhere.

2. Day of Mamba (Leave, Already!)

Note to Bill O’Reilly: He does not have tattoos all over his forehead

Facts on this, the day of the final game of Kobe Bryant’s 20-season Hall of Fame career:

50 Point Games, Career: Kobe 24, MJ 31, Wilt Chamberlain 118

Eight Players Who Have Won All-Star Game, NBA Finals* and Regular Season MVP Awards: Kobe, Michael Jordan, Shaquille O’Neal, LeBron James, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Tim Duncan and Willis Reed.

*The NBA Finals MVP award only began in 1969.

Has anyone caught more courtside Kobe in LA than Jack?

Most Points In a Single Game: Wilt, 100; Kobe, 81;

Games With at Least 44 Field Goal Attempts: Kobe, 5; MJ, 1; Chris Webber, 1 (numbers for players before 1983 were unavailable).

Players Who Played More Games AND Averaged More Points Per Game than Kobe: Karl Malone (1,476 and 25.02 to Kobe’s 1,346 and 24.97)

3. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeere’s Lonnnie!

The Grim Sleeper is suspected of committing at least 30 murders. Cuba Gooding, Jr., will play him in the FX movie.

This is Lonnie Franklin, alias “The Grim Sleeper.” He is on trial for killing 10 women, most of them in the 1980s, although other bodies began surfacing in the past 10 years. The retired detective who tracked him down, Dennis Kilcoyne, believes Franklin killed as many as 30 women.

Fascinating read here: How did the 800 Task Force catch Franklin? They arrested his son on a weapons charge in 2009 and noticed that the DNA matched the serial killer’s (the DNA evidence hadn’t been of an use to them in the 1980s.). Then they had a cop pose as a busboy at a pizzeria where Franklin’s family was having a family pizza party (he’s a married father of two who worked as a police mechanic and also drove a dump truck). The cop/bus boy took Franklin’s plate while theres was still some pizza crust on it and they obtained his DNA that way (so is that where Vince Gilligan got the idea for how Hank lifted Gus Fring‘s fingerprints in Breaking Bad?)

So how come we have not heard more about The Grim Sleeper before this week? Should I don my “liberal bias” cap and attest that maybe the fact that almost all the victims were poor black females had something to do with it? Either way, this sound like a modernized, African-American version of Devil In The White City: serial killer operating in a major American city just blocks from where a cultural phenomenon, in this case the LA. Lakers’ “Showtime” era, was taking place.

4. Chesapeake Bay Watch

The company has little, if anything, to do with the actual maritime area

I know, I know, I’m obsessed with the stock for Chesapeake Energy (CHK), an Oklahoma City-based energy (read: natural gas and fracking) company whose founder killed himself last month by driving head on into an overpass. But since the stock jumped SIXTY-ONE PERCENT between Friday’s close and yesterday’s close and since I’ve been nagging you to pay attention to it, I thought I’d revisit it here.

So, I went back and tracked the stock for six months, from Monday, October 12, to yesterday. And here’s a few things I found:

–6-month high: $8.87 (Oct. 12), 6-month low: :$1.50 (Feb. 8), yesterday: $6.05

–On 49 separate days, the stock fluctuated 10% or more in value on intraday trading. With most other stocks I follow, that happens about one day every three months.

–The stock has fluctuated at least 10% in value every single week in the past six months. including NINE times when it fluctuated more than 30% in value. If Apple rose or dropped 30% this week or any week, believe me, you’d hear all about it. The most dramatic change occurred in early March, when the stock soared 115% in one week.

–Looking at individual weeks, from Monday’s open to Friday’s close, CHK has dropped at least 10% EIGHT times (the worst, 38% in early February) and has jumped at least 10% SIX times (the best, 80% in early March).

Who doesn’t enjoy a photo of a panda every now and then? Yes, I’m panda’ing to your tastes.

The point of all this: It’s a volatile stock. And I wouldn’t suggest you short it (I’m not a shorter, unless it comes to supporting Frank), but if you just have the discipline to wait for it to drop, say, 20%, and then if you just have the nerve to wait out if it happens to continue dropping (and buy more) until it goes up again 20% or more, you can do very well with this stock.*

*The opinions expressed herein are only those of JDubs and do not reflect the opinion of Medium Happy LLC, Medium Happy Inc., Medium Happy 90210, or Medium Happy Hairston; even if they do, don’t blame us. 

5. “I’ll Be at the Raqqa Comedy Hut Next Weekend…”

Hey, dude behind Bono: Wake up!

I know that Bono’s suggestion that combating ISIS with comedy is a soft target for “serious” critics, but his point is well-taken. Yesterday U2’s lead singer, who has accomplished far more in his life both artistically and philanthropically than anyone who will criticize him has, testified before a Congressional subcommittee (because who doesn’t want a photo op with Bono?) and said:

“Don’t laugh at me, but it’s like, you speak violence, you speak their language. But you laugh at them when they are goose-stepping down the street and it takes away their power. So I am suggesting that the Senate send in Amy Schumer and Chris Rock and Sacha Baron Cohen, thank you.”

Okay, sure, the two-drink minimum deal is not going to go over very well with the Muslim crowd, but the laughs are just waiting to be unearthed: “I just flew in from a no-fly zone, and boy are my arms dealers tired…”

Anyway, this all goes back to Uncle Ruslan (Boston Marathon bombers), who pointed out that his two nephews are “losers.” Just as ISIS are losers. Laugh at a loser to shame him, don’t engage him and allow him to feel as if he’s worthy of you. Of course, while you are laughing at him, you should also do everything you can to break into his iPhone.

Music 101

Enter Sandman

On August 17, 1991, Metallica blew the minds of an estimated 1.6 million fans in Moscow playing their signature hit. AC/DC, Motley Crue, the Black Crowes and Queensryche (“a source close to Queensryche”….that’s for you, Jeff B.) were also on the bill for this Monsters of Rock show. This song was released in 1991 and only made it to No. 18 on the Billboard singles chart, but as the band’s eponymous album, Metallica, sold 22 million copies, who was buying the single? At the time the album Metallica was released, drummer Lars Ulrich was the only member of the band who felt that this song should be the first single. He had to persuade his bandmates to come to his side. It has since become one of the most recognizable rock songs of all time.

Just drink in the size of that throng. Electric guitar is a universal language.

Remote Patrol

Atletico Madrid at FC Barcelona

2:45 p.m. FS 1

Grizzlies at Warriors

10:30 p.m. ESPN

Jazz at Lakers

10:30 p.m. ESPN2

Not only has Messi gone 362 match minutes since his last goal, he has now taken to blatantly hands-balling it during matches.

Messi, Curry, Kobe. Repeat after me: Messi, Curry, Kobe. The world’s greatest soccer player in a UEFA Champions League quarterfinal (Barca leads 2-1 in aggregate goals heading into the match), then the world’s greatest basketball player chasing a 73-win season (yes, I was wrong), and then the world’s greatest chucker playing his final game.