Starting Five

He wouldn’t back down

1. He Wouldn’t Back Down

Even the losers get lucky sometimes. Tom Petty was nominated for a Grammy for Best Rock Album last night, but did not win. However, because the song that he co-wrote with ELO’s Jeff Lynne (who performed a couple of ELO classics) sounds so much like Sam Smith’s “Stay With Me,” and because Petty’s peeps reached out to Smith’s peeps about it, he and Lynne will be getting 12.5% of the residuals of the tune in perpetuity.

It’s good to be king.

Smith won four Grammys — Best New Artist, Record of the Year, Song of the Year (I’m here for you, Bastille) and Best Pop Vocal Album. That was last night. Today he’ll be answering questions for his Chicago Bulls mailbag.

2. Wanna Get Away For Awhile?

Oops

The Dutch soccer team is actually named the Go Ahead Eagles, but in a match versus vaunted Ajax Amsterdam yesterday, they fell behind in a most ignominious way. Goalkeeper Mickey van der Hart, attempting to clear a kick, simply whiffed. The ball went past him into the goal, Ajax won 2-1, and all of us relived, for a scary moment, playing kickball in second grade.

3. Translaughter?*

Wreck on the Highway

On Saturday in Malibu on the Pacific Coast Highway, Bruce Jenner was involved in a fatal car crash that may have legal implications for him. On a tricky stretch of road –the PCH has no median up here, which I’ve always found odd– a white Lexus in front of the 1976 Olympic decathlon gold medalist stopped abruptly. Jenner, driving a Cadillac SUV and towing a trailer that had an ATV, was unable to stop before slamming into the back of the Lexus, which was driven across the center line and into the oncoming path of–because this is Malibu — a HumVee.

The Lexus driver was dead at the scene.

Jenner passed a field sobriety test and obviously had no intent to cause the accident. And that’s all it was, really. But I couldn’t pass up the headline. Sorry.

*Hey, that’s not funny.

4. He’s Not Here (Anymore)

Smith telling Ford to slow it down. Dean Smith IS Tobacco Road. No more influential coach in ACC history.

The legendary Dean Smith, he of the 879 career victories and two national championships,  passes at the age of 83. I never met him, but as a young and avid hoops player growing up in the 1970s (by far my favorite sport), in the age before the shot clock had arrived in college basketball, watching Smith’s Tar Heel teams run the four corners offense was required viewing.

As glad as I am that basketball now has a shot clock (and here’s hoping the NIT’s 30-second shot clock experiment next month is adopted by all of college hoops and soon), North Carolina’s four corner’s keep away game was a work of art. No one, for my money, ran it better than Phil Ford.

Smith did as much as most any coach to integrate college hoops and, as has been repeated often, remains the only man who could hold Michael Jordan below 20 points per game. A legend, even if the Dean Dome lacks the charm and intimacy of Carmichael Arena.

MJ called Smith the most influential man in his life after his own father.

Hopefully, we can get UNC alums Tim Crothers or Jeff Bradley (both mid-Eighties, both gifted former colleagues of mine at SI) to pen a remembrance later this week.

5. Saul in a Day’s Work

Your defense courtesy of Jimmy McGill. The best $700 the state will ever spend on you.

The much-ballyhooed premiere of Better Call Saul aired on AMC last night, though, where I find myself currently, it did not air until 11 p.m. Did you have the same sitch? Anyway, let’s see if this reminds you of anything: Our hero lives in Albuquerque, drives a beater, has chronic cash-flow problems, is associated with a low-end retail biz, has a relative who may be in position to assist him, decides to recruit a juvenile delinquent (or two) to help him in an illegal money-making scheme, and then winds up in trouble with a gun-wielding  Hispanic.

Yeah, that doesn’t sound familiar to me, either.

Still, the critics are agog. I didn’t hate it. I just didn’t think, as pilots go, it was any Wonder Years. Or even Breaking Bad. The second episode airs tonight on AMC, at 10 p.m. (or 11; I’m not sure).

Remote Patrol

No. 1 South Carolina at No. 2 Connecticut

ESPN2 8 p.m.

The Huskies do battle with a top-ranked SEC East juggernaut, but it ain’t the Lady Vols. Welcome Dawn Staley and her undefeated Game Hens (22-0) to Gampel Pavilion in bucolic and frozen Storrs, where the No. 2 Huskies (22-1) hold court. I don’t know what the Huskies’ record at Gampel under Geno Aureimma is, but his teams lose there about once every four years or so. Breanna Stewart is not as good as, but is the best all-around player I’ve seen since Diana Taurasi. Still, she has recently felt Geno’s wrath, being benched for the final 35 minutes of an 80-34 win against Memphis. “This isn’t a subliminal message I’m sending,” Geno said. “This is very flat-out.”
Never change, sir.

STARTING FIVE

Everybody Loves Raymond, but even more people love Rece. Rock solid anchor who never upstages the analysts

1. Rece is Coming….To Your Ci-TAAAAAY!

For those of us who know that college football is one of the two or three greatest things in life (also up there: furry animals and “The Joshua Tree”), some tectonically huge changes announced in Bristol late last night. Chris Fowler, the patriarch and godfather of ESPN’s College GameDay, a show that has done more to promote the brand than any other studio show for any other sport, is leaving his post so that he won’t have to board a private jet most Saturday afternoons can concentrate solely on the Saturday night telecast.

Rece Davis, long a favorite here (and in other precincts), will abandon College Football Final (the brilliant bookend to ESPN’s 16 or so hours of Saturday coverage) to take Fowler’s place.

Questions: 1) Who will now play the role of judge to Mark May and Dr. Lou, or is Dr. Lou retiring? 2) How long until Fowler’s Sundance, Kirk Herbstreit, realizes Saturdays are better when spent in just one college town and joins his good friend? 3) Isn’t this a little like Genesis realizing that it’s too much for Phil Collins to both sing and play drums, and thus telling one of the best voices of his era to “stick with the drums?”

Fowler: “I don’t want to be in the air tonight, oh, Lord…”

In other words, Fowler is excellent in his role as GameDay host, but he is pedestrian (thus far) as a play-by-play man. I understand what he wants to do –but, hey, I’m sure Seahawk punter Jon Ryan wants to throw more passes, too. The truth is that no one is better on GameDay than Fowler –though Rece will be terrific, surely– but a lot of people are better than he is in the booth right now. Rece may just be one of those people.

It’s a measure of the leverage that the industrious Fowler has at ESPN that he is able to make this happen. The truth is, and I don’t know how many people are willing to say it to him, is that ESPN’s football coverage is not as strong with him out of GameDay and in the main play-by-play chair. It’s still very strong. Simply not as strong.

2. Cadavaliers Awake

Baring injury or meteor, the Cavs will win the East. Without question. That is today’s Hot Take by me.

On January 13 Cleveland lost its sixth straight game, all (update: 5 of the 6) without LeBron James, at Phoenix, 107-100 (as if the score really matters to you; that’s the fact-checker in me coming out), to fall to 19-20 on the season.

I had watched Cleveland lose at Golden State four nights earlier and, even though they fell by 18, tweeted something like, “Cleveland is going to be just fine.” I may also have tweeted, “Just watch, the Patriots are going to win the Super Bowl on a crazy play!”

Anyway, I tweeted that because I could see how the trades (for Mozgov, Smith and Shumpert) were about to make this a very deep, experienced and complete team. Cleveland has since won 12 in a row, and all by A LOT. The Cavaliers are going to win the East. I’m sure of it.

And of the players who have come aboard since Christmas, it’s not even close: Timofey Mozgov is the primary difference-maker in that lineup. He’s the dirty work dude on a team that really didn’t have one after Anderson Varejao went down. Plus, he’s an upgrade from Varejao.

3. Resilience

When you Google Image “resilience” this is what you get. When you Google Image “resiliency,” you get a photo of Bill Walton smacking his forehead with his palm in utter disgust and contempt.

If I watch a basketball game on television, particularly on ESPN, then there’s a good chance that during that broadcast I will hear a commentator –or a player in a post-game interview–use the term “resiliency.”

Merriam-Webster’s defines RESILIENCE as “the ability to become strong, healthy or successful again after something bad happens.”  Merriam-Webster’s defines RESILIENCY as “resilience.”

Do you get what I’m trying to say here?

And maybe it’s just that “resiliency” is 2015 for “overcoming adversity,” but still it is nails-on-a-chalkboard every time I hear it.

4. SI Swimsuit Rookies

Robyn Lawley: This is me criticizing a form of media exploitation while in the process benefiting from the very same means of exploitation, a process known as “Deadspinning.”

Don’t you love how Sports Illustrated is shrewdly turning objectification of the female form into a sport? I’m not talking about the Swimsuit issue, per se. Hey, that’s already in a menopausal state and it’s human nature (or it least masculine nature) and I’ve never had that big a problem with it (“Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly…”).

What I love is how they are trying to inveigle us into thinking of the talent as a sports team. For instance, now they present a “Rookie of the Year,” which they began doing lat year. Why stop there? Let’s get “D-Leaguers” and “Double-D Leaguers.” A “Taxi Squad.” “Most Improved.” “Most Improved without Help of a Surgeon.” “Comeback Player of the Year.” Go all the way with this.

Meanwhile, social media sites are asking if this year’s cover goes “too low?” (No; I mean, you can’t actually see Hannah Davis’ Dolores, now can you?). My answer? No, as long as any of SI‘s editors would allow their own daughter to be placed on the cover striking that pose. It’s curious that Today show placed red ribbon over bottom of the cover on Thursday.

5. “Allison, What is Internet?”

I like Brian Williams. And we’re both from Middletown, N.J. But I don’t think he survives this.

Earlier this week, the entire Brian Williams kerfuffle over helicopters in the invasion of Iraq (2003). Today, a brand new Brian Williams kerfuffle over Hurricane Katrina coverage (2005). As I tweeted a few minutes ago, we’re about 10 minutes away from learning that Allison Williams is not Brian Williams’ daughter. Or that Williams’ real name is Bison Dele.

Speaking of “Allison,” has anyone researched/reported who the “Allison” that Katie Couric refers to in that ad actually is? And did this former (I assume she’s no longer there) Today staffer get any residuals out of that ad? She certainly deserved some.

Remote Patrol

TCM

ALL MONTH, BITCHES!

In 1927, the first year of Oscar, The Jazz Singer, the first talkie, did not win Best Picture but instead won “Outstanding Technical Effects”

I’ll be Jesse and you be Beca: “You need a movie education…a moviecation.” This month Turner Classic Movies gives you, “27 Days of Oscar,” in which each nigh you can watch films that were nominated for “Best Picture.” And not ALL of them suck! Really. Besides, what else are you going to do in February? Go outside and play pickle ball?!? Tonight: Wuthering Heights and Gone With the Wind. 

Oh, and if you happen to see that TCM is airing a little doc titled And The Oscar Goes To, I highly recommend that you stop everything and watch. It was on last night and it was delicious.

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Starting Three (for today)

I’m sorry. I just don’t see it.

1. Hannah and Her Sizzlers

Hannah Davis, 24, may be the first SI Swimsuit Issue cover model whose home is a legitimate Swimsuit Issue destination. Davis grew up on St. Thomas in the U.S. Virgin Islands and was on “the Virgin Islands National Volleyball team” per Wikipedia. No idea how many young ladies tried out. Of course, she also dates Derek Jeter.

If you’ve seen the full front, you know that this is also the first time the SI Swimsuit cover has featured both an American and a Brazilian on the same cover (while limiting the breastesesses total to two).

2. Nevada is “The Silver State,” After All 

No, he did not appear in “Inside Llewyn Davis,” or “50 First Dates.” You have the wrong Adams.

Not to be outdone by SI‘s cheesecake cover, ESPN the Magazine, which is overseen by former SI staffer Chad Millman, places NBA commissioner Adam Silver on the cover. I’ve not yet read the story, but I’m looking forward to doing so. My old friend Chad, by the way, has been voraciously covering the men who make book since his own book, The Odds, was published in 2002.

I hate to be the killjoy here, but let’s establish a few things: 1) Yes, we know that people are going to wager (a lot! BILLIONS) 2) We understand that if the government oversees it –like marijuana –that not only can you tax it, but there’s a good chance fewer knees will be broken.

That said, if you are the Commissioner of a pro sports league and you come out in support of legalized gambling (which is different, as Silver has clarified before, than saying you are “pro-sports wagering”) only to later experience either a point-shaving scandal involving your players or learning that your own players are wagering on games, do you really have any cause to be outraged or upset? Isn’t this like if Budweiser started selling beer funnels and then got upset about underage drinking deaths?

3. I Weigh Two Bills

Simmons, here with a few boys from Southie, went under the Hoodie for his Retro Running Diary

I knew that I was going to be fascinated by whatever Der Kommissar of Grantland had to say about Super Bowl XLIX. Bill Simmons did not disappoint. Which is not to say I agreed with all he had to say–but, as always, it was very entertaining (“If Al Michaels had called ‘The Red Wedding,’ he’d have said, ‘Catelyn Stark is out with a throat'”). A cursory list of what I loved and what I hated/disagreed with. But if you haven’t already, you should definitely read it: Simmons cannot match this type of passion, his Boston sports passion, with anything else he writes. Possibly, occasionally, the NBA. But when he does have a topic that he is this invested in, he’s gold.

1) “I said, ‘Tom, look me in the eye'”. Simmons referencing the fact that NBC’s Cris Collinsworth mentioned he shined the big lamp on Tom Brady right before one of the biggest plays of the game. “What are you, his ninth-grade principal?” LOVED.

2) Simmons noting that NBC never showed us the “right replay” of the Kam Chancellor hit on Julian Edelman “even though it had 367 cameras there” and that the NFL said Edelman underwent a concussion protocol after that series (and, like, immediately after or on Monday?) LOVED.

3) The Catelyn Stark line, underscoring that Al Michaels just says the body part and not what the actual related injury is. LOVED.

4) “Dontelle” Lockette. Simmons never uses the actual first name of the Seahawk receiver (or of “Dave” Matthews). LOVED.

5) The Marshawn Lynch rant. Listen, I agree with Simmons that it isn’t Lynch’s job to dance for the media, middle-aged white guys or not. However, if it weren’t for the foot soldiers who cover these guys face-to-face, how much more poorly informed would Simmons be about them? It’s like the guy who hates seeing undocumented workers waiting in the Target parking lot but loves the price of his fruit.

Meanwhile, even though he is conjuring a quote from Lynch, for him to say “sports media assholes” and then immediately footnote a link to a Sal Paolantonio interview, one in which he describes his ESPN colleague as “indefensibly abrasive” (Really? Judge for yourself) is like Cowherd going after Patrick. Does Norby just twiddle his thumbs and hope no one else notices?

Between Boston and ESPN, I think we know where Bill’s allegiance lies. HATED.

6) Denoting Seattle’s Michael Bennett as the odds-on favorite to win “Which Player from Super Bowl XLIX is Most Likely to Fail a Postgame PED Test.” LOVED.

7) The shout-out to a hilarious Jeff Cessario bit from Letterman back in the Eighties. Look at Cessario. Listen to the bit. You KNOW what he is thinking today. He’s thinking, Why didn’t I get Jerry Seinfeld’s life? LOVED.

8. Noting that Brady went 8 for 8 on his final TD drive (which is why I put it here). He’s always going to be in the GOAT conversation. LOVED.

9. The Julian Edelman anecdote about his free agency. Wisdom. LOVED.

10. Remembering that Butler made a super defensive play on Jermaine Kearse two plays before THE CATCH. LOVED.

11. His noting that a reader, David in Fort Carson, Colo., noted that had Lynch scored that we would have been treated to “the greatest crotch grab of all time.” I don’t know if I’d have used the word “treated,” but I agree. Couple that with Doug Baldwin’s poop celebration, and the Eisenhower Era is officially over. LOVED.

12. The way Simmons displays his frustration over Belichick not calling timeout as a full 28 seconds or so elapse between the end of first down and the snap of second down. LOVED.

I’d change my name to Julian Entenmann’s and start pitching product

13. Simmons’ entire examination of the “high stakes poker game” between Belichick and Carroll. Belichick knowing Carroll only has one timeout and :32 left. Believing that Carroll will have to pass on at least one down and so he chose not to call time to force Carroll’s hand. Okay, I’m intrigued. I don’t doubt that is possible, but that doesn’t let Carroll off the hook.

Why not? Seattle called timeout with 1:06. You call two plays there, and you allow for the fact that Beast Mode is your best weapon. You impress upon your offense that you want to score, but that if you don’t you’ll be calling timeout again. Then, if Beast Mode hasn’t scored after two run plays and a timeout, you call a pass. If that goes incomplete, you have time for a fourth down. Run or pass. It no longer matters. In other words, Pete wasn’t obligated to call a pass on second down, and with the ball on the 1, he should’ve struck when the iron was hot–and the Pats were, sorry, deflated. INTRIGUED.

14. This…this…THIS…magnificent piece of footage that Simmons found on YouTube. As I’ve said on Twitter, it’s kind of like getting a different angle from Dealey Plaza of the Kennedy assassination. HOW did NBC not have something similar to this? It’s fascinating and I’ll pelt 30 Rock with…with….with…30 rocks if they order this taken down. It’s historical footage. Listen closely, you can hear Butler tell Browner, “I got 37.” HEADOVERHEELSINLOVE.

15. Simmons equating the final minute of XLIX as Belichick’s version of Jordan at the end of Game 6 of the 1998 NBA Finals. I’m not ready to concede that. As I’ve written on Newsweek, it was brilliant of Belichick to have Butler ready to defend that specific play. But it was more stupid of Seattle not to hand the ball to Beast Mode. And I have Deadspin on my side. DISAGREED.

15. And finally, the fact that Simmons wrote that he was watching the game “at my friend Jimmy’s.” When that friend is Jimmy Kimmel. And when Simmons knows that anyone who knows the answer to “What is internet, Allison?” already is aware of the pic featuring him, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck and, inscrutably, Tony Kornheiser. LOVED!

Starting Five

Splashdown coming…

1. Plane Ridiculous

At least 23 people die when a TransAsia flight carrying 58 passengers and crew clips a viaduct, and a taxi (the driver survived), shortly after takeoff in Taipei and plunges into the Keelung River. In a sign of how far our planet has evolved in the past 30 years, Howard Stern did not phone TransAsia to inquire about flights from Taipei to the Keelung River.

2. To Kill a Mock (Yeah!) ing (Yeah!) bird (Yeah!)

“Can you believe that, Scout? Says here Harper Lee is going to write a sequel.”

Guns ‘n Roses had “Chinese Democracy.” Brian Wilson had “Smile.” And now Harper Lee, the author of one of the great works in American fiction, To Kill a Mockingbird, has announced that 55 years after that novel’s publication, she is releasing a sequel.  This news came one day after Rob Gronkowski announced that the last book he read, in 9th grade, was A Mockingbird to Remember. Coincidence? Hell, no.

Like you, I was surprised (“Harper Lee is still alive!?!?“). Lee, 88, actually wrote the sequel, Go Set a Watchman, five or so years before her Pulitzer Prize-winning debut novel, which has sold 40 million copies, or like, as many copies as Taylor Swift’s last 2 albums (I’m totally winging that statistical comparison, by the way). The sequel is set 20 years later with the same main character. Seriously. Scout is all groweds up and Boo Radley keeps popping up and saying, “I’m not a smart man, Jean Louise.”

Meanwhile, James Taylor and Carly Simon have not announced a sequel to this.…

The Newsweek had a few things to say about Ms. Lee shortly after her masterpiece made its 1961 debut.

3. Groundhog Dazed

You had it coming

Jimmy the Groundhog bites the mayor of Sun Prairie, Wis., mayor a couple of days ago. I hate to go off on another animal rights jag here, but imagine being a rodent and looking out a crowd of inane humans cheering you on. You have no idea if they’re about to ISIS your ass publicly or if you’re just part of some silly ritual (or both). Animals are extremely intuitive. Some day people, hopefully, will respect how cool it is to simply leave them alone. But I doubt it.

Speaking of getting it right, I’ve always said that Groundhog Day is a film whose theme you could build entire semester-long classes around. It’s fervently profound (this essay says it better than I able to) without actually being linked to a particular religion. A wonderfully funny movie whose “message” hits you before you realize you’re receiving an important life lesson.

4. Mountain Time

As his wife asks, Can you pick up those jeans from the floor, too?

Maybe Prince Oberyn really never did stand a chance.

Hafthor Bjornsson, who plays Gregor Clegane, alias “The Mountain,” in Game of Thrones, won the World’s Strongest Viking competition over the weekend (Fran Tarkenton came in 4th) by carrying a 30-foot long, 1,433-foot pole for five steps. That breaks a 1,000 year-0ld record, we hear, although I’d have been even more flabbergasted had Bjornsson carried a 30-foot long, 1,433-pound Pole. That would be two records.

5. Geno’s 900

Thirty seasons and Geno Auriemma becomes the fastest coach, men’s or women’s Division I hoops, to 900 victories with last night’s yawner (96-36) versus Cincinnati. Yes, that’s an average of 30-plus wins per season. He only has 134 losses.

What I love about Geno, having been privileged to spend a season around him, is what a remarkably normal life he leads. He commutes from a nice home in an unremarkable town in Connecticut, through mostly rural two-lane roads, to campus. During the season he is living in a frigid part of the country, with a very cool wife and three terrific children (now grown).

In most of that, he’s a lot like Syracuse’s Jim Boeheim, a good friend who, like Geno, may wind up No. 2 in D-I wins.  Geno lives well, don’t mistake that: he loves fine wine and every restaurateur in central Connecticut knows him well (as does the manager at the steakateria in NYC). But few see the days when he drives in 10-degree weather to Storrs and leads a practice in an anomalously unpopulated northeast area.

The other thing I love about Geno: no one is better at weeding out the b.s. I loved that after the game he told a reporter, “I’ve got a lot of players saying, ‘You’re welcome.'” He’s right. You don’t do that without outstanding talent. But Geno knows how to draw the talent. And better than that, he knows what to do with them once they show up.

Remote Patrol

Bulls at Rockets

ESPN 8 p.m.

This week, at least, he is not the most renowned Butler in pro sports

Pau Gasol and Dwight Howard can discuss how much they (don’t) miss playing with Kobe between baskets. James Harden can advise Jimmy Butler what it’s like when you’re supposed to be a second (or third) banana and suddenly there are times when you are your team’s best player.

Starting Five

Super Bowl XLIX did NOT have a Bevelled edge

1. 2nd-and-Goal

Let’s begin with a few words on what will go down as one of the most memorable plays in Super Bowl history. My apologies to the Legion of Gloom…but you won’t be getting any sympathy from northern Wisconsin.

2. My Left Shark

Katy Perry enters the Shark Tank

Who was the biggest breakout star of Super Bowl XLIX: Chris Matthews, Malcolm Butler or Left Shark? All were unknown before kickoff in Glendale. As of Sunday night, two were known but it was not until Tuesday (“Voices Carry!”) that Left Shark was revealed to be dancer Bryan Gaw. Right Shark, by the way, is Scott Myrick.

According to the choreographer, the contrast between the meticulous Right Shark and the carefree Left Shark was planned. Meanwhile, Discovery Channel is planning a Left Shark Week for the ratings doldrums of August while SyFy is trying to persuade Ian Ziering to return for Left Sharknado.

3. Workaholics

“I work harder than both of you. Exponentially harder.”

Colin Cowherd works hard.
Dan Patrick works hard.

Okay, sure, as long as we are in the sandbox, we will point out that “Colin started it.” And I’m not exactly sure why Colin started it, but if it’s about the error Patrick made on Sunday night, here’s what I’ll say: Kudos to Dan for owning up to it on his show the following morning, but also if he were a female or someone lower on the network ladder he’d be paying a much dearer price, if nowhere else but the blogosphere, for it.

That said, not sure why Cowherd initiated the feud.

Still, gentlemen…you’re both very talented at what you do. No one looks good here. It’s funny how much attention ESPN will devote to a Richard Sherman versus Patrick Peterson feud, but when a pair of supposedly more mature men engage in similar duck-measuring shenanigans, the lads at ATH, PTI and FT all look away awkwardly.

For the record, Dan Schulman and Dave Pasch work a lot harder than both of you. As does every teacher I’ve ever met.

4. Restward, Ho!

Take a load off, Annie…(or D)

The best female basketball player I’ve ever seen, Diana Taurasi (and BY FAR the best basketball player I’ve ever seen who could not crack a starting five), will be taking next summer off from the WNBA. Why? Because Taurasi, who is now 32, earns far more money playing for her Russian team and they are paying her not to play for the Phoenix Mercury, who by the way won the WNBA championship last September with Taurusi leading them.

So, yes, the Mercury are in retrograde in 2015.

5. Hallelujah!

Leonard Cohen, at around the time he wrote the tune

When you look back and consider all of the amazing music that was released in the 1980s (my high school and college years, so, man, was I lucky), at everything from “When Doves Cry” to “Like A Prayer” to “Sweet Child o’ Mine” to “Wanna Be Startin’ Something” to “Livin’ on a Prayer” to “Alive and Kicking” to “In Your Eyes” to “Big Country” to “Our Lips Are Sealed” to “Fall on Me” to “Under the Milky Way” to “Your Love” to “Devil Inside” to “With or Without You” to “Come on, Eileen” to “Life in a Northern Town” to “Take on Me” to “Dreams” to “You Shook Me All Night Long” to “Don’t Stop Believing” to “Free Fallin'” to–can I stop now?

Anyway, when you think of all those great songs (and trust me, you have not wandered into at Time-Life Classics infomercial), you never think of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”, which came out in the first week of February, 1985. But this is one of the best songs you will ever hear, no? Certainly one of the most unique. It never even made it onto the U.S. charts.

My favorite version, and I’ll admit I’ve only heard a few, is the popular choice: Jeff Buckley’s 6:31 gem. I went on a trip once for work in which I knew nobody –at least at the outset–and I think I listened to that song 40 times in a row that first day just to soothe myself (then I remembered that I was in Fiji on Mark Burnett’s dime and it was like, PARTY ON, WAYNE!).

Anyway, in honor of the song’s 30th anniversary, our Zach Schonfeld and Sean Elder at The Newsweek (“Paul, is it ‘Newsweek’ or ‘The Newsweek?’) compiled a terrific list of the 60 Best Versions of the tune that will make Mr. Cohen immortal. So now I’ll be obliged to listen to it 60 times in a row, each time with a different artist.

Spoiler Alert: Mr. Cohen’s version is not in the Top 5 and Mr. Buckley’s is not their No. 1. You’ll have to click to see who is.