STARTING FIVE

Even Mitch Buchannon could not save the Clippers’ season last night.

1. We Are One Gone

June Gloom arrives two weeks early in L.A, as the NBA soap opera that is the Los Angeles Clippers wraps for the season. OKC overcomes an early 16-point deficit to take Game 6 and hence, the series. So, the winner in each of the last two games at Staples overcame being behind by 16 points.

I hear that Jack Nicholson attended the game (Et tu, Nathan Jesup?). Also, that while Doc Rivers plans to play his $25,000 fine, owner Donald Sterling does not intend to pay his 100-times-that fine.

Kevin Durant scores 39 and grabs 16 in the clincher.

2. Johnny Fever!

Johnny, bravo!

Johnny Football. He’s up in Cleveland.

Johnny Baseball. He’s in Cincinnati.

Red ace (would that make him a Red baron?) Johnny Cueto pitches nine shutout innings in Cincy’s 5-0 disposal of San Diego (so is he also Johnny Padres?). Cueto now has a big league-best 1.25 ERA and has pitched at least 7 innings and allowed two or fewer runs in each of his nine starts, the first pitcher to do since Harry Krause of the Philadelphia A’s (you remember him) in 1909.

As you may know, Cueto is the latest model of Pedro Martinez: both are sub-six foot righties from the Dominican Republic.

Cueto also leads all of baseball in both WHIP (.71) and Batting Average Against (.135) and has already thrown three complete games, or more than any other team.

3. The Grey Lady Cans Its First Lady

Oh, this isn’t Jill Abramson? These are the Buffalo Jills?!? My bad! Excuse me. It won’t happen again.

By now you know that Jill Abramson, the executive editor of The New York Times, was fired by the newspaper on Tuesday even though you will hear nothing but praise from the paper’s readers, and from fellow journalists, as to how good the paper looked during her three-year tenure.

This piece in The Nation details some of the reasons why Abramson might have been pink-slipped, none of which are suitable.

Of course we NYC journalists are going to be more interested in this story than the average bear, and of course we are far more likely to take up for a female who appears to have been pushed out by corporate muckety-mucks and stiff-pooping middle-aged white guys who wanted to drop the guillotine before the Southampton Beach Club opens fully for the season. I’m sure they’ll be discussing this at length at Nick and Toni’s.

Something to keep in mind: being a talented reporter, writer or editor has nothing to do with being a solid manager. I happen to work for two men right now, Jim Impoco and Bob Roe, who are both terrific editors and approachable and supportive managers. They even seem to be –gasp!–decent communicators.

But that isn’t always the way in this business. I’ve never worked for Abramson. She seems to have been widely respected, if not necessarily easy to work with. But it certainly seems like she got, as a former Sports Illustrated managing editor who was a horrible communicator described to me his own fate, “shit-canned.”

4. I Am Sam

Remember back when Michael Sam just wanted to be known as a football player?

Those days are over: Sam’s agents have signed a deal with Oprah (no surname necessary) to produce a reality-based show around the seventh-round pick’s quest to make the St. Louis Rams. So, you can’t blame a player, especially a football player, for trying to make as much Bitcoin as he can while the getting’s good, given the illusory nature of their NFL longevity. On the other hand, you can’t blame Sam’s teammates for not being on board with it. Or Rams’ management for wondering how much trouble the 249th pick in the draft is worth.

Does this makes Vito Cammisano  the LGBT Katherine Webb, by the way?

I think Drew Magary handled the topic well, pointing out the disparity between “distraction” and “authenticity.”

5. Bombaywatch

Modi Operandus

India just elected the world’s most important, at least by number of constituents, leader. Narendra Modi will lead the nation of 1.2 billion humans, none of whom can throw a baseball fast enough to please Jon Hamm. Modi is 63. As soon as the election results were announced, the entire country headed to the nearest train station and staged a huge production number. Jai Ho!

Reserves

Sue Bird is so good, she’s like without fault, you could almost call her the….perfect Storm.

Yes, that buzz in the air is what you think it is. WNBA season tips off tonight! The Seattle Storm, the league’s only team named in honor of an ESPN anchor (whose dad, it must be noted, was a honcho in the ABA) hosts the Los Angles Sparks, who should be inking a branding deal with a certain apparel company any day now to be known as the Los Angels Spanx.

Sue Bird, who sat out last season with an injury, returns to the Storm.

****

Jacob deGrom should become a fixture at Citi Field.

Fun Notes: From last night’s Yankees-Mess game, in which both pitchers, Chase Whitley and Jacob deGrom, made their Major League debuts:

1) Both pitchers got a hit in their first at-bat, which hadn’t happened to two such pitchers (in first game,  that is) since 1963.

2) The Yankees were facing a pitcher making his MLB debut for the second time in as many nights. The last time they did that? 1915.

3) The last time the Yankees were involved in a game in which both pitchers were making their big-league debut? 1908, when they were the Highlanders, and it was against the Red Sox. Both pitchers who started that game never appeared in the big leagues again.

4) The Yankees shut out the Mets for the second night in a row.

5) Neither Whitley nor deGrom allowed a truly earned run in nearly 12 full innings of pitching. Whitley left with two outs in the fifth, the score knotted 0-0, and the Mess with runners on second and third thanks to a pair of walks. Dillon Betances got him out of that jam. deGrom left after seven, having given up one earned run, though if the Mets had completed a double play they should have, he would’ve escaped before allowing Alfonso Soriano’s two-out, run-scoring, game-winning triple.

6) deGrom’s base hit was the first by any Mess pitcher this season, breaking an 0-for-64 drought.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B 1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS 1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B 1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P 1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P 1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B; Lefty Grove, P 1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF 1970: Ferris Fain, 1B; Earle Combs, CF 1971: Warren Spahn, P; Yogi Berra, C 1972 Satchel Paige, P; Sandy Koufax, P 1973: Robin Roberts, P; Whitey Ford, P 1974: Mickey Mantle, CF; Eddie Mathews, 3B 1975: Lefty Gomez, P; Hack Wilson, CF 

Babe Ruth and Ty Cobb

1976: Jack Pfiester, P; Johnny Mize, 1B 1977: Ernie Banks, SS; Mickey Welch, P 1978: Roberto Clemente, RF; Chuck Klein, RF 1979: Willie Mays, CF; Luis Aparicio,  SS 1980: Al Kaline, RF; Enos Slaughter, RF 1981: Bob Gibson, P; Harmon Killebrew, 1B 1982: Hank Aaron, RF; Frank Robinson, OF 1983: Brooks Robinson, 3B, Juan Marichal, P 1984: Hoyt Wilhelm, P; Arky Vaughan, SS 1985: Lou Brock, LF; Pete Browning, OF 1986: Sidd Finch, P 1987: Willie McCovey, 1B, Roger Maris, RF 1988: Willie Stargell, 1B, Catfish Hunter, P 1989: Earl Averill, CF, Billy Williams, LF 1990: Johnny Bench, C, Carl Yastrzemski, LF 1991: Jim Palmer, P, Joe Morgan, 2B 1992: Rod Carew, 2B; Gaylord Perry, P 1993: Reggie Jackson, RF, Tom Seaver, P 1994: Phil Niekro, P, Rollie Fingers, P 1995: Pete Rose, INF, Mike Schmidt, 3B 1996: Steve Carlton, P, Denny McLain, P 1997: Jim Rice, LF, Don Sutton, P 1998: Dick Allen, 1B, Dave Parker, RF 1999: Nolan Ryan, P, George Brett, 3B 2000: Robin Yount, SS, Carlton Fisk, C 2001: Kirby Puckett, CF, Mark Fidrych, P 2002: Ozzie Smith, SS, Gary Carter, C 2003: Eddie Murray, 1B, Tommy John (Surgery) 2004: Paul Molitor, INF, Dennis Eckersley, P 2005: Wade Boggs, 3B, Ryne Sandberg, 2B 2006: Hughie Jennings, SS, Herman Long, SS 2007: Cal Ripken, Jr, SS, Tony Gwynn, RF 2008: Tanner Boyle, SS, Crash Davis, C 2009: Rickey Henderson, LF, Duke Snider, CF 2010: Lee Smith, P, Garry Maddox, CF 2011: Roberto Alomar, 2B, Dave Winfield, LF 2012: Barry Larkin, SS, Johnny Vander Meer, P 2013: Phil Rizzuto, SS, Ferguson Jenkins, P 2014: Greg Maddux, P, Craig Biggio  2B/C 2015: Mike Piazza, C, Randy Johnson, P 2016: Ken Griffey, Jr., CF, Pedro Martinez, P

2017

Frank Thomas 1B/DH; 1990-2008, White Sox

The nickname itself, the Big Hurt, given him by Ken “The Hawk” Harrelson, is Hall-worthy. A two-time AL Most Valuable Player, Thomas was one of the most feared hitters of the Nineties, leading the league in OBP four times (he’s 19th all-time at .419). Retired with a .301 batting average, 521 home runs and 495 doubles.

Tom Glavine, P; 1987-2008, Braves

What Glavine did as well as anyone who ever pitched? Stay healthy. The Tom Verducci doppelganger made at least 32 starts per season in 17 of 20 seasons in the heart of his career. A 300-game winner (305-203) and two-time Cy Young Award winner, Glavine led the N.L. in wins five times corresponding to his five 20-win seasons.

Remote Patrol

Captain Phillips

STARZ 9 p.m.

And when we’re done here, we’re off to find that island Peter Gregory is building.

I haven’t seen this movie yet, so I’ll at least DVR it (as I spend a Friday night swanking it up, I’m sure, at some posh Manhattan drinkery.). Anyway, some day there will be an entire film festival devoted to “Tom Hanks in Trouble in Oceans” films, none of which are Ocean’s 11, Ocean’s 12, or Ocean’s 13.

STARTING FIVE

Despite this photo, Jeff Samardzija is one of the five best pitchers in baseball this spring.

1. NO-WIN SITUATION

Someone with whose work I’m quite familiar penned an essay on Cub pitcher Jeff Samardzija, who is doing the Cub-biest thing possible: elevating his legend by losing. The Shark, as some of us recall the former Notre Dame wideout, has baseball’s second-best ERA (1.45) but is 0-3 through eight quality starts.

As noted in the piece, 278 MLB pitchers have a win this spring, including a dude with a 15.75 ERA and a dude who was just called up to the big leagues on May 6. Samardzija does not.

If I were producing a Cubs telecast, I’d run a list of every MLB pitcher who has a win, scroll it down, as Samardzija warms up of for his next start.

2. Treble His Troubles

Please let this be the courtroom artist’s sketch.

Former New England Patriot Aaron Hernandez trebles his alleged murder troubles as he is indicted today for two more shooting deaths, from the summer of 2012. Police in Massachusetts seem devoted to tying up all the loose ends with this tight end…because, see…hoo-boy…wow, is it hot in here?

3. Tom & Lorenzo

So my cousin, Lauretta, got me wise to a “Mad Men” recap that is quite unique in that it focuses on the show’s fashion choices and illustrates how those chose are meticulously made to showcase plot points and themes. If you already knew about Tom & Lorenzo Fabulous & Opinionated, I’m sorry for being late to the party on this. But it is pretty cool.

(I still love you, Alan Sepinwall; I just think we should be free to read other people.)

4. Heat Spurs

I’m still chuck-ling.

Yes, they both advanced last night. Yes, they both won their second-round series 4-1. And now they both have the weekend off. Meanwhile at “Inside the NBA”, the “Gone Fishin'” photo montage for the Nets included Jay-Z stiff-arming his sister-in-law while clad in a “100 Problems” t-shirt. It was genius.

Also, poor Jaime Maggio. First, she looks exhausted (Get some rest, Jaime Maggio! You don’t have to attend every damn shoot around; at least not at the expense of your youth). Second, she endeavors to learn more about the injury to Tony Parker, but good luck getting anyone from SAS to talk to you about something like that. So, she files a fairly useless report, which results in Charles cackling and quipping, “That was the worst update in the history of updates!”

I mean, he kinda was right; you just never hear that type of candor over on the Disney Channel.

5. Kerr-plunk

Kerr and friend.

Steve Kerr chooses a life in the Bay Area over one in New York City. Because he’s not stoopid (he speaks Italian). And, at $5 million a year over the next five years, he can actually afford to live well there.

His daughter attends Cal and he has a son in college in San Diego. He grew up in L.A. There is very little about Steve Kerr that seems well-suited to a life of living in Westchester and commuting to midtown Manhattan 41 days per year.

Plus, he’s got Steph Curry and he doesn’t have Carmelo or Jim Dolan.

Easy choice.

At some point the Knick brass has to break the uncomfortable silence in the board room by staring down Phil Jackson and asking, “So who’s better than YOU?”

The Hall*

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B 1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS 1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B 1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P 1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P 1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B; Lefty Grove, P 1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF 1970: Ferris Fain, 1B; Earle Combs, CF 1971: Warren Spahn, P; Yogi Berra, C 1972 Satchel Paige, P; Sandy Koufax, P 1973: Robin Roberts, P; Whitey Ford, P 1974: Mickey Mantle, CF; Eddie Mathews, 3B 1975: Lefty Gomez, P; Hack Wilson, CF 

Jack Pfiester

1976: Jack Pfiester, P; Johnny Mize, 1B 1977: Ernie Banks, SS; Mickey Welch, P 1978: Roberto Clemente, RF; Chuck Klein, RF 1979: Willie Mays, CF; Luis Aparicio,  SS 1980: Al Kaline, RF; Enos Slaughter, RF 1981: Bob Gibson, P; Harmon Killebrew, 1B 1982: Hank Aaron, RF; Frank Robinson, OF 1983: Brooks Robinson, 3B, Juan Marichal, P 1984: Hoyt Wilhelm, P; Arky Vaughan, SS 1985: Lou Brock, LF; Pete Browning, OF 1986: Sidd Finch, P 1987: Willie McCovey, 1B, Roger Maris, RF 1988: Willie Stargell, 1B, Catfish Hunter, P 1989: Earl Averill, CF, Billy Williams, LF 1990: Johnny Bench, C, Carl Yastrzemski, LF 1991: Jim Palmer, P, Joe Morgan, 2B 1992: Rod Carew, 2B; Gaylord Perry, P 1993: Reggie Jackson, RF, Tom Seaver, P 1994: Phil Niekro, P, Rollie Fingers, P 1995: Pete Rose, INF, Mike Schmidt, 3B 1996: Steve Carlton, P, Denny McLain, P 1997: Jim Rice, LF, Don Sutton, P 1998: Dick Allen, 1B, Dave Parker, RF 1999: Nolan Ryan, P, George Brett, 3B 2000: Robin Yount, SS, Carlton Fisk, C 2001: Kirby Puckett, CF, Mark Fidrych, P 2002: Ozzie Smith, SS, Gary Carter, C 2003: Eddie Murray, 1B, Tommy John (Surgery) 2004: Paul Molitor, INF, Dennis Eckersley, P 2005: Wade Boggs, 3B, Ryne Sandberg, 2B 2006: Hughie Jennings, SS, Herman Long, SS 2007: Cal Ripken, Jr, SS, Tony Gwynn, RF 2008: Tanner Boyle, SS, Crash Davis, C 2009: Rickey Henderson, LF, Duke Snider, CF 2010: Lee Smith, P, Garry Maddox, CF 2011: Roberto Alomar, 2B, Dave Winfield, LF 2012: Barry Larkin, SS, Johnny Vander Meer, P 2013: Phil Rizzuto, SS, Ferguson Jenkins, P 2014: Greg Maddux, P, Craig Biggio  2B/C 2015: Mike Piazza, C, Randy Johnson, P

2016

Ken Griffey, Jr., CF; 1989-2010, Mariners, Reds

In his first 10 full seasons, Junior averaged 38.2 home runs per season and led the American League in home runs four times while consistently batting over .300. He makes our Hall for that decade, as his return home to Cincinnati for the latter half of his career was the closest thing baseball has ever come to a witness relocation program. Finished with 630 career home runs.

Pedro Martinez, P; 1992-2009, Expos, Red Sox

Vote for Pedro. Despite standing just five-foot-eleven, Martinez was as commanding as any pitcher in the game. Impervious to the game’s offensive explosion (read: “juice”) in the late ’90s, he posted sub-2.40 ERAs six times. Retired with a 2.93 ERA and a 1.054 WHIP.

Remote Patrol

Do The Right Thing

FLIXe 11:30 p.m.

And that’s the truth, Ruth.

Mother Sister. Mookie. Buggin’ Out. Radio Raheem. You may want to go with Annie Hall, or You’ve Got Mail, or Taxi Driver, or even After Hours, as the quintessential New York City film (they’re all good), but for me no movie captures the city I know better than Spike Lee’s classic. Twenty-five summers ago two things happened: this movie was released and I moved to Manhattan. Maybe I should have heeded Spike’s warning?

And, yes, Game 6 of the of Thunder-Clips airs at 10:30 (yay!) on ESPN (oh).

STARTING FIVE

1. “We Got Robbed”

Perhaps you did, Doc Rivers, but your team was also outscored 17-3 in the final four minutes and 8-0 in the final :49. You got robbed, but you left the front door open and your wallet on the kitchen counter.

The Clippers led 101-88 with about four minutes to play, scored one basket the rest of the way, and it’s the referees’ fault they lost? Chico, please.

Just so you know, the sports phrase “We wuz robbed” is believed to have been coined by fight manager Joe Jacobs after his boxer, Max Schmeling, lost to Jack Sharkey on June 21, 1932.

2. “Rafael Negura”

The best comedy on TV, as I’ve said before, is “Inside the NBA.” Shaq seems to be adapting to his role of rambunctious kid brother/clown (Shaqcrobatics, anyone?), and the crew is now so comfortable with him that Ernie broke out a Shaq impression last night.

Best point of the evening was when the crew relayed the story that Shaq had run into Mariano Rivera earlier Monday in New York City (for Upfronts? I don’t know) and didn’t know his name. He returned to Atlanta and told his on-air colleagues that he had met “Rafael Negura.”

And then the “Inside the NBA” staffers doctored up a photo of a Mexican League pitcher with Sir Charles’ face and a Pancho Villa mustache.

3. Mark’s Twain

Thirty years ago today, Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg was born in White Plains, N.Y. We should note that the Winklevoss twins are claiming that they turned 30 first.

Anyway, today is Zuckerberg’s 30th birthday and ABC News has compiled a list of 30 things he accomplished before turning 30 (like becoming worth more than $26 billion).

4. Regarding Henrik

Lundqvist, unmasked (and all the ladies say, “What a shame” he has to wear one).

In a thrilling Game 7, the New York Rangers defeat the Pittsburgh Penguins as goaltender Henrik Lundqvist stops 35 of 36 shots. The Rangers shot barely more than half as many shots on goal (20) but won, 2-1. And they won the series after trailing 3-1. So Jim Dolan won’t have to schedule as many Billy Joel concerts at MSG this month.

5. My Favorite Marcin

Yet another embarrassing Pacer

Marcin Gortat goes for game-highs of 31 points an 16 rebounds as the Wizards embarrass the Pacers at home, yet again, 102-79. And yet Indiana may still advance to the conference finals.

You know what the Pacers are? They’re that super-hot girlfriend who’s so moody that you finally decide it’s just not worth it. Not that I’d know from personal experience.

Reserves

This young dude can play the “Game of Thrones” theme –which is the most majestic lyric-free TV theme song of the millennium thus far– solo on his violin.

***

Jerry Seinfeld remains in character to pick up his old buddy George Costanza for “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee” that is better in concept than in execution. For me, the highlight was Jerry’s line about the comparison between George and the AMC Pacer: “It doesn’t work, looks ridiculous, and falls apart.”

The Hall*

*Did you really believe a little thing such as time was going to compel us to stop doing this? We’ll keep going for another few years to include players who have recently retired.

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner 1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B 1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS 1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B 1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P 1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P 1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B; Lefty Grove, P

White-Guy ‘Fro perpetrator Don Sutton

1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF 1970: Ferris Fain, 1B; Earle Combs, CF 1971: Warren Spahn, P; Yogi Berra, C 1972 Satchel Paige, P; Sandy Koufax, P 1973: Robin Roberts, P; Whitey Ford, P 1974: Mickey Mantle, CF; Eddie Mathews, 3B 1975: Lefty Gomez, P; Hack Wilson, CF 1976: Jack Pfiester, P; Johnny Mize, 1B 1977: Ernie Banks, SS; Mickey Welch, P 1978: Roberto Clemente, RF; Chuck Klein, RF 1979: Willie Mays, CF; Luis Aparicio,  SS 1980: Al Kaline, RF; Enos Slaughter, RF 1981: Bob Gibson, P; Harmon Killebrew, 1B 1982: Hank Aaron, RF; Frank Robinson, OF 1983: Brooks Robinson, 3B, Juan Marichal, P 1984: Hoyt Wilhelm, P; Arky Vaughan, SS 1985: Lou Brock, LF; Pete Browning, OF 1986: Sidd Finch, P 1987: Willie McCovey, 1B, Roger Maris, RF 1988: Willie Stargell, 1B, Catfish Hunter, P 1989: Earl Averill, CF, Billy Williams, LF 1990: Johnny Bench, C, Carl Yastrzemski, LF 1991: Jim Palmer, P, Joe Morgan, 2B 1992: Rod Carew, 2B; Gaylord Perry, P 1993: Reggie Jackson, RF, Tom Seaver, P 1994: Phil Niekro, P, Rollie Fingers, P 1995: Pete Rose, INF, Mike Schmidt, 3B 1996: Steve Carlton, P, Denny McLain, P 1997: Jim Rice, LF, Don Sutton, P 1998: Dick Allen, 1B, Dave Parker, RF 1999: Nolan Ryan, P, George Brett, 3B 2000: Robin Yount, SS, Carlton Fisk, C 2001: Kirby Puckett, CF, Mark Fidrych, P 2002: Ozzie Smith, SS, Gary Carter, C 2003: Eddie Murray, 1B, Tommy John (Surgery) 2004: Paul Molitor, INF, Dennis Eckersley, P 2005: Wade Boggs, 3B, Ryne Sandberg, 2B 2006: Hughie Jennings, SS, Herman Long, SS 2007: Cal Ripken, Jr, SS, Tony Gwynn, RF 2008: Tanner Boyle, SS, Crash Davis, C 2009: Rickey Henderson, LF, Duke Snider, CF 2010: Lee Smith, P, Garry Maddox, CF 2011: Roberto Alomar, 2B, Dave Winfield, LF 2012: Barry Larkin, SS, Johnny Vander Meer, P 2013: Phil Rizzuto, SS, Ferguson Jenkins, P 2014: Greg Maddux, P, Craig Biggio  2B/C

* After much internal debate, I’ve decided not to include all-time greats such as Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens in my Hall. You can make an outstanding case that they belong even without the steroid use, and I won’t really fight you. But, in my opinion, they cheated the game for years –and to the disingenuous people who remind me that steroids don’t help you hit a baseball, I’m not sure if I should be more insulted that you’re that stupid or that you think I’m that stupid–and they set their own fate.

Yes, you say, but Pete Rose and Joe Jackson are in. The latter, in my opinion, was scapegoated. The former, as far as I know, did what he did as a manager, and I simply don’t consider the fact that he bet on his own team as that great a crime.

At the end of the day, players such as Bonds and Clemens are so historic in their feats that they likely belong. But I’d rather not parse it, because that’s when you compromise yourself. Where do you draw the line between a guy who didn’t need to use them (Bonds, obviously) and someone who did (Sammy Sosa)? On this topic, I’d rather err on the side of absolutes.

Your mileage may vary.

2015

Mike Piazza, C; 1992-2007, Mets, Dodgers

I know, I know. Did Piazza juice? Suspected, but never proven. Arguably the greatest hitting catcher of all time, the 12-time All-Star finished with 427 home runs (the most by anyone using the tools of ignorance) and a .308 batting average.

Randy Johnson, P; 1988-00, Mariners, D-backs

Has anyone’s point of release ever been closer to home plate?

The Big Unit was often, at six-foot-eleven, unhittable. He led the league in strikeouts in nine different seasons and is second all-time behind only Nolan Ryan with 4,875. A 300-game winner (303-166), the 10-time All-Star and five-time Cy Young Award winner also hurled both a perfect game and a no-hitter, 14 years apart.

Remote Patrol

Canadiens-Bruins, Game 7

NBC Sports Net 7 p.m.

P.K. Subban

These two Original Six rivals will meet in a Game 7 for the ninth time in their history. Quick question, don’t look at a map: Is Montreal east or west of Boston?

STARTING FIVE

It was a very Elle Woods moment for the former Elin Woods.

1. Nanny and the Professors

(The judges would have also accepted “From PGA to GPA” as well as “Model, Student” and, alright, “Eagle-y Blonde”)

Tiger Woods’ ex-wife, the luminous Elin Nordegren, graduates from Rollins College with a 3.96 GPA and is asked to deliver the commencement address. She nails it. Elin majored in psych; it’s her family’s first major in six years, if you’re keeping score.

So, yes, the former Elin Woods has a lot in common with Elle Woods.

2. Casey: Coast to Coast?

Where’s Casey? Has anyone checked the AT40 archives?

The man who for decades has been counting them down until he gets to No. 1, Casey Kasem, is missing. Kasem, 82, suffers from Parkinson’s Disease and it is believed that his current wife, Jean, spirited him away from his Holmby Hills estate –this is the REALLY swank section of Beverly Hills; Hugh Hefner lives here–to avoid dealing with his children.

As far as wealthy octogenarian Los Angelenos are concerned, why couldn’t this have happened to Donald Sterling?

In the meantime, I’m asking that the current AT40 deejay play John Waite’s “Missing You” as my long-distance dedication to Kasem.

3. Shark Chums

Junior Lake, a.k.a. “Pond”, drove in six runs last night.

Last night the Chicago Cubs belted out 20 hits and scored a season-high (for any team in the majors) 17 runs against the St. Louis Cardinals and immediately after their 17-5 victory, winning pitcher Travis Wood scurried straight to the locker of teammate Jeff Samardzija and, I kid you not, hugged him.

“I told him I was sorry,” Wood said.

Why? Because Samardzija has baseball’s second-lowest ERA (1.45) but in his eight starts the Cubs have yet to score 17 runs in total. They have put up just 15 for him, which is why the Shark is 0-3.

Wondering if this is the Curse of Bartman. Both are Notre Dame alums.

4. Donald Dunce

Sterling’s words leave a bad taste in your mouth, but even a worse taste in his, since his foot is in it.

Clipper owner Donald Sterling steps deeper into it, going on “Anderson Cooper 180” in a bold but ultimately foolish attempt to reverse course. Two of the low lights were his telling Cooper that he, Cooper, is more of a racist than Sterling and also saying that Magic Johnson should be ashamed of himself for sleeping with so many women.

Trump. Sterling. I’ll take “Wealthy Donalds Who Attempt To Sleep with Women Half Their Age and are Racists” for $200, Alex.

5. 49er

LeBron James scores 49 points in a Game 4 win against the Nets –no, Solange was not courtside–and is slightly peeved that he missed an otherwise meaningless free throw with 1 second left, since he still has yet to score 50 points in a playoff game (49 twice, 48 and 47 once).

Can’t really blame LeBron for feeling that way. He seems about as bored with the second round of the playoffs as we are. After a scintillating open round, only OKC-LAC really has any juice.

Call us when the Spurs meet whomever they are going to meet in the Western Conference finals.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner 1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B 1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS 1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B 1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P 1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P 1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B; Lefty Grove, P

The “Say Hey” Kid

1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF 1970: Ferris Fain, 1B; Earle Combs, CF 1971: Warren Spahn, P; Yogi Berra, C 1972 Satchel Paige, P; Sandy Koufax, P 1973: Robin Roberts, P; Whitey Ford, P 1974: Mickey Mantle, CF; Eddie Mathews, 3B 1975: Lefty Gomez, P; Hack Wilson, CF 1976: Jack Pfiester, P; Johnny Mize, 1B 1977: Ernie Banks, SS; Mickey Welch, P 1978: Roberto Clemente, RF; Chuck Klein, RF 1979: Willie Mays, CF; Luis Aparicio,  SS 1980: Al Kaline, RF; Enos Slaughter, RF 1981: Bob Gibson, P; Harmon Killebrew, 1B 1982: Hank Aaron, RF; Frank Robinson, OF 1983: Brooks Robinson, 3B, Juan Marichal, P 1984: Hoyt Wilhelm, P; Arky Vaughan, SS 1985: Lou Brock, LF; Pete Browning, OF 1986: Sidd Finch, P 1987: Willie McCovey, 1B, Roger Maris, RF 1988: Willie Stargell, 1B, Catfish Hunter, P 1989: Earl Averill, CF, Billy Williams, LF 1990: Johnny Bench, C, Carl Yastrzemski, LF 1991: Jim Palmer, P, Joe Morgan, 2B 1992: Rod Carew, 2B; Gaylord Perry, P 1993: Reggie Jackson, RF, Tom Seaver, P 1994: Phil Niekro, P, Rollie Fingers, P 1995: Pete Rose, INF, Mike Schmidt, 3B 1996: Steve Carlton, P, Denny McLain, P 1997: Jim Rice, LF, Don Sutton, P 1998: Dick Allen, 1B, Dave Parker, RF 1999: Nolan Ryan, P, George Brett, 3B 2000: Robin Yount, SS, Carlton Fisk, C 2001: Kirby Puckett, CF, Mark Fidrych, P 2002: Ozzie Smith, SS, Gary Carter, C 2003: Eddie Murray, 1B, Tommy John (Surgery) 2004: Paul Molitor, INF, Dennis Eckersley, P 2005: Wade Boggs, 3B, Ryne Sandberg, 2B 2006: Hughie Jennings, SS, Herman Long, SS 2007: Cal Ripken, Jr, SS, Tony Gwynn, RF 2008: Tanner Boyle, SS, Crash Davis, C 2009: Rickey Henderson, LF, Duke Snider, CF 2010: Lee Smith, P, Garry Maddox, CF 2011: Roberto Alomar, 2B, Dave Winfield, LF 2012: Barry Larkin, SS, Johnny Vander Meer, P 2013: Phil Rizzuto, SS, Ferguson Jenkins, P

2014

Greg Maddux, P; 1986-2008, Cubs/Braves

The thinking man’s pitcher, Maddux never had overpowering stuff but painted the black well enough to lead the league in WHIP and in ERA four times. Led in complete games three times. A career record of 355-227 despite never winning more than 20 games in one season. Led the league in Innings Pitched five consecutive years, yet never endured a serious arm injury. Finally, compiled an astounding 18 Gold Gloves fielding his position.

Craig Biggio, 2B/C; 1988-2007

A seven-time All-Star, Biggio barely missed being voted into the Hall in his second year of eligibility (74.8% of vote, needing 75%) and at the time I thought little of it. But when you examine his numbers, he’s worthy: Biggio is 21st all-time in Hits (3,060) and FIFTH all-time in Doubles (668). The only four men in baseball history who hit more gappers than the seven-time All-Star were Tris Speaker, Pete Rose, Stan Musial and Ty Cobb. That’s very rare company.

Biggio is also second on the all-time Hit By Pitch list, with 267. Ouch.

Remote Patrol

Clippers at Thunder

TNT 9:30 p.m.

Erstwhile, for a short while, Bruin teammates Collison and Westbrook have both been special in this series.

OKC blew a 16-point fourth-quarter lead in Game 4, proving once and for all that God loves racists. What? Oh, no. But, the Thunder did blunder and now they’re going to need to fight a little harder to win this series. Either team will prove an intriguing test for the Prickly Popoviches.

STARTING FIVE

1. Gay is the New Black

The St. Louis Wham!?

“I went to an NFL Draft watch party and a scene from The Family Stone broke out?”

Of course it’s cool that Michael Sam is gay. And it’s to be expected: he’s probably been exposed to computers, right, Ginsberg?

When Sammy smooched Archie more than 40 years ago, Twitter did not exist.

It’s funny how one week the world of sports fandom (fandumb?) gets a lesson in racial tolerance, and then the next week we get a lesson in sexual tolerance. And it’s ironic that some people who are victims of racial intolerance can be perpetrators of the latter, right, Marshall Henderson?

All of which leads us to…

2. …The World’s Wurst Person

From Wurst to First

This is Conchita Wurst: (s)he’s your run-of-the-mill Austrian drag queen chanteuse, and this weekend she won Eurovision, which is like “American Idol” meets the Euro Cup. Each European nation sends one representative in a continent-wide sing-off, and this year Wurst finished first in Copenhagen with her salute to the NBA Western Conference’s ninth-place finishers..

As John Oliver noted on “Last Week Tonight”, which brought my attention to this event, Wurst beat out Russia’s Tolmachevy twins, teen sisters whose song “Shine” seemed like a stalker ode from their motherland to Crimea:

“Maybe there’s a place/Maybe there’s a time,

Maybe there’s a day you’ll be mine,

Something’s gotta give/Maek a brighter day…”

3. Happy Mother’s Day, from “Mad Men”*

Don Draper to Roger Sterling: “Anything you can do/I can do better.”

Betty Draper, to daughter Sally: “I ought to break your arm!”

Meghan Draper: “I don’t know if I’ll have kids. Don’s children are almost more than I can handle (even though I live in Laurel Canyon and they live in Westchester and I haven’t seen them in ages).”

Stephanie: “I’m just going to keep making subtle allusions to Charles Manson until someone realizes I’m carrying his love child.”

My dream plot for next week’s episode of “Mad Men” features subtle allusions throughout to scenes depicted in Bryan Adams’ “Summer of ’69.” I know, too much to ask.

*You know, Betty, if you were really smart, you’d have said, “I’m smart, I speak Italian” in Italian.

4. Game of Loans

Regicide? Maybe I should’ve considered patricide.

It was a very C-SPAN night in Westeros, as we had no wildlings, Jon Snow or the Hound, but instead a loan request from the Iron Bank of Braavos, municipal board meetings for Daenerys –I loved when she shot Jorah the “When may we break for lunch?” glance, and a murder trial from the Iron Throne.

Although I will admit that it was refreshing not to hear Tyrion Lannister say that he poisoned King Joffrey accidentally and continually address his father as “M’ lady.”

As usual, Andy Greenwald of Grantland.com submits a superior recap on the evening. He must’ve aced English Comp & Lit in college. The man grasps themes rather well.

In my parallel universe episode, Grand Maester Pycelle enumerates, instead of the types of poisons in his possession, the discography of hair-metal rockers Poison: “Look What the Cat Dragged In”, “Open Up and Say…Ahh.”

5. Thunder Struck

Oklahoma City led 32-15 after one quarter. But they trailed 101-99 after four. And that’s all that matters.