STARTING FIVE

1. NO-WIN SITUATION

Someone with whose work I’m quite familiar penned an essay on Cub pitcher Jeff Samardzija, who is doing the Cub-biest thing possible: elevating his legend by losing. The Shark, as some of us recall the former Notre Dame wideout, has baseball’s second-best ERA (1.45) but is 0-3 through eight quality starts.

As noted in the piece, 278 MLB pitchers have a win this spring, including a dude with a 15.75 ERA and a dude who was just called up to the big leagues on May 6. Samardzija does not.

If I were producing a Cubs telecast, I’d run a list of every MLB pitcher who has a win, scroll it down, as Samardzija warms up of for his next start.

2. Treble His Troubles

Former New England Patriot Aaron Hernandez trebles his alleged murder troubles as he is indicted today for two more shooting deaths, from the summer of 2012. Police in Massachusetts seem devoted to tying up all the loose ends with this tight end…because, see…hoo-boy…wow, is it hot in here?

3. Tom & Lorenzo

So my cousin, Lauretta, got me wise to a “Mad Men” recap that is quite unique in that it focuses on the show’s fashion choices and illustrates how those chose are meticulously made to showcase plot points and themes. If you already knew about Tom & Lorenzo Fabulous & Opinionated, I’m sorry for being late to the party on this. But it is pretty cool.

(I still love you, Alan Sepinwall; I just think we should be free to read other people.)

4. Heat Spurs

Yes, they both advanced last night. Yes, they both won their second-round series 4-1. And now they both have the weekend off. Meanwhile at “Inside the NBA”, the “Gone Fishin'” photo montage for the Nets included Jay-Z stiff-arming his sister-in-law while clad in a “100 Problems” t-shirt. It was genius.

Also, poor Jaime Maggio. First, she looks exhausted (Get some rest, Jaime Maggio! You don’t have to attend every damn shoot around; at least not at the expense of your youth). Second, she endeavors to learn more about the injury to Tony Parker, but good luck getting anyone from SAS to talk to you about something like that. So, she files a fairly useless report, which results in Charles cackling and quipping, “That was the worst update in the history of updates!”

I mean, he kinda was right; you just never hear that type of candor over on the Disney Channel.

5. Kerr-plunk

Steve Kerr chooses a life in the Bay Area over one in New York City. Because he’s not stoopid (he speaks Italian). And, at $5 million a year over the next five years, he can actually afford to live well there.

His daughter attends Cal and he has a son in college in San Diego. He grew up in L.A. There is very little about Steve Kerr that seems well-suited to a life of living in Westchester and commuting to midtown Manhattan 41 days per year.

Plus, he’s got Steph Curry and he doesn’t have Carmelo or Jim Dolan.

Easy choice.

At some point the Knick brass has to break the uncomfortable silence in the board room by staring down Phil Jackson and asking, “So who’s better than YOU?”

The Hall*

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B 1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS 1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B 1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P 1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P 1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B; Lefty Grove, P 1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF 1970: Ferris Fain, 1B; Earle Combs, CF 1971: Warren Spahn, P; Yogi Berra, C 1972 Satchel Paige, P; Sandy Koufax, P 1973: Robin Roberts, P; Whitey Ford, P 1974: Mickey Mantle, CF; Eddie Mathews, 3B 1975: Lefty Gomez, P; Hack Wilson, CF 

1976: Jack Pfiester, P; Johnny Mize, 1B 1977: Ernie Banks, SS; Mickey Welch, P 1978: Roberto Clemente, RF; Chuck Klein, RF 1979: Willie Mays, CF; Luis Aparicio,  SS 1980: Al Kaline, RF; Enos Slaughter, RF 1981: Bob Gibson, P; Harmon Killebrew, 1B 1982: Hank Aaron, RF; Frank Robinson, OF 1983: Brooks Robinson, 3B, Juan Marichal, P 1984: Hoyt Wilhelm, P; Arky Vaughan, SS 1985: Lou Brock, LF; Pete Browning, OF 1986: Sidd Finch, P 1987: Willie McCovey, 1B, Roger Maris, RF 1988: Willie Stargell, 1B, Catfish Hunter, P 1989: Earl Averill, CF, Billy Williams, LF 1990: Johnny Bench, C, Carl Yastrzemski, LF 1991: Jim Palmer, P, Joe Morgan, 2B 1992: Rod Carew, 2B; Gaylord Perry, P 1993: Reggie Jackson, RF, Tom Seaver, P 1994: Phil Niekro, P, Rollie Fingers, P 1995: Pete Rose, INF, Mike Schmidt, 3B 1996: Steve Carlton, P, Denny McLain, P 1997: Jim Rice, LF, Don Sutton, P 1998: Dick Allen, 1B, Dave Parker, RF 1999: Nolan Ryan, P, George Brett, 3B 2000: Robin Yount, SS, Carlton Fisk, C 2001: Kirby Puckett, CF, Mark Fidrych, P 2002: Ozzie Smith, SS, Gary Carter, C 2003: Eddie Murray, 1B, Tommy John (Surgery) 2004: Paul Molitor, INF, Dennis Eckersley, P 2005: Wade Boggs, 3B, Ryne Sandberg, 2B 2006: Hughie Jennings, SS, Herman Long, SS 2007: Cal Ripken, Jr, SS, Tony Gwynn, RF 2008: Tanner Boyle, SS, Crash Davis, C 2009: Rickey Henderson, LF, Duke Snider, CF 2010: Lee Smith, P, Garry Maddox, CF 2011: Roberto Alomar, 2B, Dave Winfield, LF 2012: Barry Larkin, SS, Johnny Vander Meer, P 2013: Phil Rizzuto, SS, Ferguson Jenkins, P 2014: Greg Maddux, P, Craig Biggio  2B/C 2015: Mike Piazza, C, Randy Johnson, P

2016

Ken Griffey, Jr., CF; 1989-2010, Mariners, Reds

In his first 10 full seasons, Junior averaged 38.2 home runs per season and led the American League in home runs four times while consistently batting over .300. He makes our Hall for that decade, as his return home to Cincinnati for the latter half of his career was the closest thing baseball has ever come to a witness relocation program. Finished with 630 career home runs.

Pedro Martinez, P; 1992-2009, Expos, Red Sox

Vote for Pedro. Despite standing just five-foot-eleven, Martinez was as commanding as any pitcher in the game. Impervious to the game’s offensive explosion (read: “juice”) in the late ’90s, he posted sub-2.40 ERAs six times. Retired with a 2.93 ERA and a 1.054 WHIP.

Remote Patrol

Do The Right Thing

FLIXe 11:30 p.m.

Mother Sister. Mookie. Buggin’ Out. Radio Raheem. You may want to go with Annie Hall, or You’ve Got Mail, or Taxi Driver, or even After Hours, as the quintessential New York City film (they’re all good), but for me no movie captures the city I know better than Spike Lee’s classic. Twenty-five summers ago two things happened: this movie was released and I moved to Manhattan. Maybe I should have heeded Spike’s warning?

And, yes, Game 6 of the of Thunder-Clips airs at 10:30 (yay!) on ESPN (oh).