One long national nightmare is over…while another may soon begin.
Kris Bryant, when asked by Tom Verducci what this feels like: “This Trumps everything.”
2. Blame It On Theo
Bill Murray (left) and Theo after
2004: Boston Red Sox win their first World Series since 1918 (86 years).
2007: Boston Red Sox win their first World Series since 2004 (3 years)
2016: Chicago Cubs win their first World Series since 1908 (108 years)
In all three cases, Theo Epstein, age 42, was the general manager. He should be enshrined in Cooperstown tomorrow. Curse of the Goat? Theo’s the GOAT.
Note: Epstein’s grandfather and great uncle (as opposed to “Epstein’s mother”) won Oscars for Best Original Screenplay for Casablanca. The kid at least matched that career achievement.
Also note: The manager for those two Red Sox teams was Terry Francona.
3. A Fall Classic
Two teams who had not won a championship in a combined 176 years (MLB was established 140 years ago).
A wild pitch that allows two runs, the first time that had happened in a World Series game since 1911.
A journeyman catcher hitting a dead-center home run in his penultimate Major League at-bat in Game 7 (David Ross).
A team overcoming a four-run deficit to tie Game 7.
The Aroldis Chapman meltdown/Rajai Davis’s two-out, game-tying home run in the eighth (and the look on Cusack’s face after).
The rain delay. And whatever Jason Heyward told his teammates.
Albert Almora’s tag-up from first on the deep fly to center (the key play of the game, IMO).
Ben Zobrist coming through for a second consecutive World Series.
The Tribe, with two outs and no one one, still scoring a run in the bottom of the 10th (Rajai Davis again) and putting the winning run at the plate (as they had all of the ninth inning).
The final matchup of Mike Montgomery versus Michael Martinez, the former who had not one save during the season and the latter who had not one hit during the postseason.
The final score, 8-7, which if you play with the numbers, “108”, or one from eight, gives you seven (yes, that’s a stretch).
Anthony Rizzo back-pocketing the ball after the final out. Where will that go? And what is it worth?
Nobody choked. A seventh game went extras. A true classic. No goats (cursed or not), just GOAT.
4. Harry Caray Is Not Suicide
Props to Budweiser for having this ad in the on-deck circle to run immediately after the Cubs won. Wonderful.
5. Cleveland, You’re On The Clock
George Plimpton is probably the second-best known Lion (after Barry Sanders) since their last championship
The longest remaining droughts, by sport, in professional sports (I’m only counting franchises that have remained in the same city; sorry, Arizona Cardinals fans, you are not long-suffering even if the Cardinals are).
A two-out, two-run error in the first (that wasn’t ruled an error, but it sure did feel like one center fielder Tyler Naquin), and a grand slam bomb in the third (by Addison Russell, the first in the WS since Paul Konerko in 2005), and the Cubs waltzed to a 9-2 victory in Game 6. I’m not sure why Joe Maddon used Aroldis Chapman, either, but the thinking is probably, He’s a hoss, her our hoss, and he probably won’t be pitching for us next year, anywyay, so what do we care?
Fate seems to favor the Cubs, but Cleveland will have a very well-rested Andrew Miller tonight, and he’ll go three if not four innings. Could we see the second seven-game series this year involving a team from Cleveland and a blown 3-1 lead?
2. Gig ‘Em > Mush!
If the sole goal of putting A&M No. 4 was to get people arguing/hot taking, then it worked.
In the first College Football Playoff rankings, one-loss Texas A&M (“S! E! C!, S! E! C!”) nudges out unbeaten Washington for fourth place. To a large degree, I gots no problem with that (for now) as the Aggies have played a much more rigorous schedule than the Huskies.
Looking ahead: the Aggies host Ole Miss and LSU (on Thanksgiving night), while U-Dub hosts a much improved Southern Cal and visits Wazzu in late Novem-brrr. There’s a whole lot of the football remaining to be played, of course, and not just for these two. Don’t sweat it, dogs.
3. Louie Brings It In Harlem
Louis C.K. on the election, on Conan last night:
“If you vote for Hillary, you’re a grown-up.
If you vote for Trump, you’re a sucker.
If you don’t vote for anybody, you’re an asshole.”
In a show taped at the Apollo Theater in Harlem, Louie, who was raised by a single mom, noted how cool it would be to have our first mom in the White House. “A great father can give a kid 40% of his needs, top; whereas any mother, 200%. What’s the last conversation you had with your mom? ‘Mom, alright! It’s enough!'”*
* I may resemble that remark.
Honestly, this may be the best endorsement for either candidate I’ve yet seen.
4. Nguyen Wins (“Win Wins”)*
Nguyen is Las Vegas’ best homonym since “Steve Wynn”
*The judges will not accept, ‘Hold the Vayo’.
At least one World Series came to an end last night…the World Series of Poker.
The deets: Qui Nguyen, 39, defeated Gordon Vayo in Las Vegas.
Heads Up: The final two men of more than 6,000 entrants, Ngyuyen and Vayo played 181 hands heads-up, (i.e., one on one) before Nguyen won. Their heads-up showdown lasted seven hours. I’ve been at one of these. It’s mentally crushing to endure.
Prize: The coveted bracelet and $8 million.
Good Morning, Vietnam: Nguyen is the 47th WSOP Main Event champ, and the second Vietnamese.
Note: There has never been a female champion of the Main Event. Only one woman, Barbara Enright in 1995, has ever advanced to the final table.
5. War and Peacemonger*
*The judges will also accept “Brave, Heartbreaker”
Mel Gibson and his I-Don’t-Give-Half-a-%$*& beard were on Colbert last night to promote Hacksaw Ridge, Gibson’s first film since Apocalypto a decade ago. It’s the real-life story of Desmond Doss (Andrew Garfield), the first conscientious objector to win the Congressional Medal of Honor. In 1945 Doss, a private first class, took part in the bloody eponymous battle on Okinawa without carrying a weapon, but saved the lives of 75 fellow soldiers. It’s getting good buzz.
And if you want something really real, here is the man himself appearing on This Is Your Life, I’m guessing in the 1950s.
Music 101
You Sexy Thing
One generation gets Ice T, another had Hot Chocolate. Few better opening lines ever written than I believe in miracles/Where you from, you sexy thing? And, yes, those are the only words to the song most of us know. Hot Chocolate was a British act and that’s Errol Brown singing lead. The song climbed to No. 3 on the U.S. charts in 1976 and enjoyed a resurgence more than 20 years later when it was featured in The Full Monty.
Two years later another one-hit wonder named Exile had a song called “I Wanna Kiss You All Over” and if you listen to it, the chords sound very, very similar, no?
Remote Patrol
CMA Awards
ABC 8 p.m.
If you’re a country music artist who loves baseball, you’ve got quite a dilemma: attend the CMA Awards tonight in Nashville, or watch Game 7 as the Cubs or Indians go for their first World Series title in most of our lifetimes. Of course we’re going to watch Game 7. I’m only posting this because Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood annually provide the most satisfying opening dialogue in awards shows, and you need to at least watch the first 10 minutes of this show, even if you don’t love country music. Plus, this is the 50th anniversary of the CMA Awards.
A Medium Happy 56th to 1981 NL Rookie of the Year AND Cy Young Award winner Fernando Valenzuela…
How much have times and conventional wisdom changed in baseball since 1981? In his ROOKIE year, at the age of 20, Fernando led baseball in Games Started (25), Innings Pitched (192.1) and Complete Games (11). He also led in Shutouts (8) and Strikeouts (180). He was a phenomenon, but he was also washed up by the age of 26 (even though he lasted another 10 unremarkable seasons).
Starting Five
We feel his pain….
Un-Bear-able
You may not have noticed, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but the National Football League has a ratings problem (in related news, Betty Lou’s getting out tonight).
It took awhile for America to catch up to the cruddy product they’ve been watching for years now, but at least we finally did. Last night I watched two plays of Vikings-Bears and then switched over to the World Series of Poker. Here’s the thing: I watched two hands of the WSOP without thinking about whether or not I was enjoying it, without being interrupted by a replay of someone’s bet, without a stoppage of play for an injury. I was just, well, in the thrall of the action.
Who won? Who cares?
Many reasons why NFL viewership is down, and maybe some day we’ll do that item. But Colin Kaepernick doesn’t make it onto the Top 10 of my personal list of why I find the NFL unctuous and unwatchable. What does make it near the top of my list: It’s just not fun, the people who run it aren’t fun, the talking heads who bloviate it on and on about it aren’t fun, etc. It’s more serious than a heart attack. All the time. The people who run it forgot that it’s just a game. Or that’s what it was supposed to be.
Bleier and Bradshaw, among others
The funniest part about all of this, at least to me, is that there is no sport I love to watch more than COLLEGE football. So it’s not the game itself that myself and many others find repugnant. It’s the nature of the NFL that is the turn-off.
“This is the NFL”. A weekly highlight shows, starring Tom Brookshier and Pat Summerall, airing on Saturday nights. I LIVED for this as a kid.
And, it wasn’t always this way. Those of us who grew up in the Seventies, who remember the eras of the Cowboys, Steelers, Raiders, Vikings, Rams and Broncos, we couldn’t get enough of THAT NFL. And it’s not as if there aren’t good teams today. It’s just a completely different environment (and maybe we just weren’t as aware of the players beating up their wives?).
But I’m thinking, Why don’t we crowd-source this? Maybe in the Comments section you can give just ONE REASON (of many) that you don’t enjoy watching the NFL as much as you used to, if that’s the case.
2. Fahrenthold 451
Fahrenthold is like Woodward AND Bernstein in one…
Of the breakout media stars of this election—Megyn Kelly, Katy Tur, Van Jones and yes, even KellyAnne Conway—the one in print who has probably done the most damage is The Washington Post‘s 38 year-old reporter, David Farenthold. Bully for him for being handed a relatively dry topic—charitable donations—and unleashing a powder keg (full disclosure: I don’t know, without looking it up, what it is to “unleash a powder keg” and I sort of wonder whether it’s an IPA) of powerful stories.
I watched Farenthold on TV last night. He’s articulate, good-looking, direct and concise. He’ll be a good TV presence, like Andrew Ross Sorkin on CNBC. I just hope that he keeps writing.
3. Senior-itas!
It’s not polite to ask a woman her age, or so they say. But you have to be a little curious as to what it says on the driver’s license of Peggy Lee Brennan, the newly minted Ms. Senior America. I won’t say (60), but Brennan, Miss Missouri, was the youngest possible age one could be and still enter.
The best thing about the Ms. Senior America pageant, other than of course the positive role models that it provides for impressionable young women in their 40’s and 50’s? That would be that Donald Trump doesn’t own it.
And if the lovely Ms. Brennan looks familiar to you—especially if you are closer to her age—that’s because she played Radar O’Reilly’s girlfriend on M*A*S*H.
4. Sweet Home, Chicago
Wade returned home and instantly acquired the face of a 53 year-old blues guitarist.
So, it’s only one week of an NBA season and they’ve been a little overshadowed by that baseball club from Wrigleyville, but the new look Chicago Bulls may just be a thing. Dwyane Wade has pulled a LeBron and returned to his snow-belt ancestral home, pulled in another free agent starter (Rajon Rondo), and galvanized the best remaining player from the previous year’s edition (Jimmy Butler).
The Bulls are 3-0 (note: they haven’t played anyone yet), Rondo is happy dishing dimes, Wade and Butler are getting their points and The Great White Hoop, Doug McDermott, is finally beginning to fulfill his promise in Season 3 with 14 ppg. It’s early, but maybe they’ll make the East a little more interesting.
5. At the Halloween Parade
Quickly becoming a Halloween tradition, the crowd-sourced rendition of “Thriller.” They did it for the sixth consecutive year last night, on what was a lovely late(st) October evening, with just the right chill and thrill in the air (this video is from last year, but not much is different). It’s also as fitting an annual salute to a fallen musician as the annual guitar circle for John Lennon in Central Park on December 8.
Music 101
November Rain
The early Nineties was a fruitful time for rock star narcissism, over-wrought double albums and model-infused music videos. Per the second part of that trifecta, Bruce Springsteen, Smashing Pumpkins and Guns ‘n Roses all released double albums when in each band’s case, a single album would have more than sufficed. Have you ever listened to the second side of Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness a second time?
For example, imagine the SINGLE album Bruce would have given us if these were the only tracks: “Human Touch,” “Roll of the Dice,” “Man’s Job,” “Cross My Heart,” “All or Nothin’ At All,” “Better Days,” “Lucky Town,” “If I Should Fall Behind” and your closer, “Beautiful Reward.” Nine songs. That’s all we needed. One more than Born To Run, one fewer than Darkness…
Anyway, this is a GnR item. If you have the audacity to do a double album, you better have one audacious SONG to put on it (see: Pink Floyd, “The Wall” or Elton John “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” or even the Pumpkins with “Tonite Tonite”). A classic. Bruce had good songs on Human Touch and Lucky Town, but not a classic.
And that’s the thing of it about Use Your Illusion I & II. GnR accomplished the hardest part: they wrote an epic rock-and-roll classic, and not only that, but a song that completely fit the band’s character. And then they put out a kick-ass video featuring the most popular supermodel in the world at the moment, Stephanie Seymour. Axl and Slash and the boys just forgot one thing: to write enough good songs to fill out two sides of two discs.
The two albums have 30 songs and just three gems (originals, not covers): “Don’t Cry,” “Civil War” and this tune. And GnR seemed to empty the tank in the effort, as it has released just two albums and zero memorable songs in the 25 years since. Don’t you need some time on your own? Well, sure, but a quarter century…?
Remote Patrol
Game 6, World Series
FOX 8 p.m.
John Cusack is getting more screen time than Kyle Schwarber in the World Series….
FOX has found chemistry in it pre- and post-game set with A-Rod, Petey, The Big Hurt and host Kevin Burkhardt. The main booth is much improved with John Smoltz, the Hall of Famer who speaks matter of factly while dispensing pearls of wisdom and between-the-lines insight. He’s baseball’s Troy Aikman. Are we headed to a seventh game or, with Jake Arrieta on the mound tonight for the Cubs, will it end tonight? If the Cus win in seven, Is John Cusack reprising Jimmy Fallon’s role in Fever Pitch, even though Fallon reprised Colin Firth’s role in the original Fever Pitch?
Chase Appleby rustled up Brett Rypien, sending the football and Boise State’s major bowl hopes backward.
1. Road Kill
Seven up, four down.
Seven unbeatens did the “Road Trip!” thing last Saturday. Three of them (Michigan, Clemson, Washington) won and will be amongst the Selection Committee’s top four in its initial rankings tomorrow. The other four—Nebraska, Baylor, West Virginia and Boise State—lost.
Most notable defeat? The Broncos, who gave up a safety in the final 90 seconds at Wyoming to lose 30-28. I’m not sure if there’s ever been a more noteworthy sports moment in the state of Wyoming.
Jabrill Peppers (5) and Michigan were the only unbeaten to go on the road and win by more than a touchdown, in East Lansing. Wolverines are legit.
Two implications: 1) Right now the playoff four is set, barring an upset, which there will almost certainly be. Keep an eye on Bama at LSU, Auburn at Bama, Michigan at Ohio State (hardly an upset), and USC at U-Dub. 2) Western Michigan, which only plays one more team with a winning record, is going to be your Group of 5 major bowl selection.
I’m offended that they allowed a fan into the game with this.
Meanwhile in Madison, two fans dressed up for Halloween (?) as POTUS in a noose. They were not kicked out of the Nebraska-Wisconsin game, just told to remove the costume. Outspoken Badger ‘baller Nigel Hayes had a problem with that.
2. Cub Your Enthusiasm
Bryant did homer last night, but the probable NL MVP has spent much of the Fall Classic walking back to the dugout with this miserable look on his face
Chicago avoids elimination with a 3-2 win and an eight-out save by Aroldis Chapman, whose cap was festooned with “JF 16” in honor of fallen countryman Jose Fernandez.
Meanwhile, here’s what the Cubs (cough cough, Kris Bryant and Javy Baez) should work on during today’s off day: not striking out. The Cubs have whiffed 53 times through five games, or 10.6 times per game. They’ve drawn just 15 walks as opposed to that. Throw out Game 2, where they drew 8 walks and struck out just 8 times, and those figures would be 45 and 5 (of course, you can’t throw out 20% of a sample to make a point, unless you’re FiveThirtyEight.com, which we are not).
3. Setting His Own Pace
Cheesecake became the first four-time Pac-12 X-Country champ
Is it too soon to call Oregon’s Edward Cheserek the best collegiate distance runner of all time? Nope.
Last Friday the senior from Newark (and before that, Kenya) won his fourth consecutive Pac-12 men’s cross-country individual title. A few former Pac-10/Pac-12 runners who never accomplished that feat: Steve Prefontaine, Alberto Salazar, Henry Rono.
A few weeks from now in Terre Haute, Ind., Cheserek, 22, will seek to become the first man to ever win four NCAA X-Country individual titles.
4. Of Emails and Females
Carlos Danger is Trump’s new favorite Latino….
It seems that FBI director James Comey also wanted to be part of the CYA. No, that’s not a typo (for once). I mean he wants to be part of “Cover Your Ass.” In an effort to not later be seen as showing favoritism to the Clinton campaign, he appears to have bent over Simon Biles-style in the other direction by sending a vague letter to Congress last Friday, an unprecedented step.
Be clear on this, history: If the FBI were not independently investigating Anthony Weiner’s sexting, none of this ever comes up. And if Weiner hadn’t been married to Clinton’s top aide, Huma Abedin, that connection never occurs. If you’re wondering how come powerful institutions avoid the spouses or family members of disgraced characters, this is your exhibit A.
Not sure what HRC actually did wrong. Neither is anyone else, including Donald Trump or James Comey. But, like the buzzword “Benghazi!”, it causes the Trump-kins to salivate. There’s just something funny about a presidential candidate who won’t release any of his tax returns preening about his opponent having an uncovered emails problem, no?
Meanwhile, Newsweek’sKurt Eichenwald notes the hypocrisy of Trump crowing about hidden emails. I love Kurt, and if Trump wins I’ll be sure to visit him monthly in whatever gulag Trump places him in.
5. Jose Fernandez
Aroldis Chapman has been paying tribute to his fallen countryman all postseason
This is not the last word on the Jose Fernandez situation, just the latest. Last Friday the Miami Heraldsued the Miami-Dade Medical Examiner’s office for not releasing the autopsy and toxicology reports on the Miami Marlin pitcher, who died in late September in a boating crash that took the lives of himself and two other men on the boat.
That legal action prompted a letter from Miami-Dade mayor Carlos Gimenez that basically said, “Don’t look at us; Florida Fish & Wildlife says this is still an active criminal investigation.”
To which the Miami Herald replied, rightly, “Everyone on board the boat is dead; whom could you be investigating?”
To which Gimenez replied, “Hey, FF&W, you wanna be part of this lawsuit?”
To which FF&W replied, ‘Uh, no.”
To which the ME’s office released the reports, which tell us that Fernandez had cocaine in his system and was intoxicated by nearly twice the legal limit (,147 as compared to .08). The other two victims, Emilo Macias and Eduardo Rivero, both had alcohol levels BELOW the legal limit but the latter had coke in his system.
Meanwhile, authorities have interviewed a “highly reliable” witness who said that Fernandez was not driving, that he was on a cellphone at the time of the crash. None of this brings the three men back, none of it taints what Fernandez did on the diamond. It’s just the latest story, and won’t be the last, of young men being reckless. And paying for it with the highest possible price.
Music 101
Monster Mash
This is the only version of Bobby Pickett’s quirky 1962 “graveyard smash” in which the artist is seen performing it (even if he is lip-synching). Pickett, an aspiring actor, did a Boris Karloff impersonation for friends and they encouraged him to to more with it. This was the result. The lyric “Now my ‘Monster Mash’ is the hit of the land” were prophetic: the song hit No. 1 on the Billboard chart the week before Halloween that year.
Remote Patrol
Scare Fest
Halloween AMC 2 p.m.
The Shining IFC 4:30 p.m. & 7:45 p.m.
House on Haunted Hill TCM 4:30 p.m.
The Strangers SyFY 7 p.m.
Look behind you, Liv!
Best movie of the bunch? “Heeeeeere’s Johnny!” Halloween is the godfather of horny teens -paying-for-it fright fests, House on Haunted Hill is classic Vincent Price, and The Strangers is the spookiest film I’ve seen in the past decade (wish the ending had been a little less sadistic, though)
Losing both Vine and Vinyl in the same year. This is tough. It’s worse because I still don’t really know what the difference between a Vine and a GIF is. Or why Twitter is dismantling it. Will this affect the quality of your life? Probably so, in a beneficial way.
2. Fast Out of the Gate
A laconic MVP-worthy talent in San Antonio who lost a parent too early in life. We’ve seen this before.
It was only one game but do you realize that Anthony Davis currently leads the NBA in points per game (50) and steals per game (7) and is second in the NBA in rebounds per game (16) and blocks per game (4)?
It was only one game, but do you realize that James Harden (yes, selfish James Harden) leads the NBA in assists per game (17) and that his oft-sulky teammate Dwight Howard leads the NBA in rebounds per game (19)? (UPDATE: Apparently Dwight Howard is now an Atlanta Hawk; no one told me.)
It was only two games, but do you realize that Kawhi Leonard is averaging 32.5 points per game and that is in part due to his being 22-22 from the free throw line?
Also, do you realize that all four of these superstars play along a 550 mile stretch of I-10?
3. Saint Lawrence
The Saints have allowed just six touchdowns in seven games
The stingiest defense in college football belongs to a Division III school located in upstate New York. The St. Lawrence University Saints allow just 5.9 points per game and have shut out four of their seven opponents. The Saints are 7-0 under first-year head coach Dan Puckhaber, an Ithaca alum who used to play professional football in Italy.
By the way, there are a dozen D-III schools that are still 7-0 or better right now.
4. Lonely Island
This is St. Kilda, the outermost island of the Outer Hebrides (60 or so miles west of the Scottish mainland and 40 miles distant from the closest remote island), that was once inhabited by humans but has since been abandoned.
Humans lived on St. Kilda once, but it is now a ghost town
Above, that’s Stac An Armin, just off St. Kilda and the highest sea stack in the British Isles at 643 feet tall. It is twice the height of Big Ben.
5. A Stranger Things Christmas
Personally, I think they should have started with “Its The Upside Down, Charlie Brown,” but beggars can’t be Hoosiers.
Reserves
The return of Really Tall Portland Ken….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0ntO-an3YE
Music 101
In The Wee Small Hours of The Morning
Sinatra. A-number-one. Top of the heap. King of the hill. Cream of the crop of the top of the heap. Believe it or not, this song was actually written in the wee small hours of the morning by David Mann (composer) and Robert Hilliard (lyrics) in New Jersey.
Remote Patrol
World Series
Game 3
FOX 8 p.m.
Smoltz, a Hall of Famer, is an excellent fit in the booth
The broadcast is much improved this season, with John Smoltz replacing Harold Reynolds in the booth and Tom Verducci designated for assignment (on the field). Think about how last October, in Game 1, that technical difficulty brought us Smoltz on the MLB Network international feed. Many of us preferred Smoltz and Matt Vasgersian. I think FOX saw our tweets. That electrical outage had some major broadcast ramifications.
