Yesterday’s answers: 1)I honestly do not recognize a single name, but the leadoff hitter is Tony Kemp (5’6″…maybe he’s the next Altuve) and the opening day pitcher was Kyle Muller (who’s 6’7″) 2) Hoffman, lame, as in Midnight Cowboy; McQueen, incarcerated and caught trying to escape and put in solitary twice, as in The Great Escape, 3) U.S.A., New York City 4) 30-0, Yankees over Orioles, 2007, 5) Houston Nutt (others appearing were Fulmer, Holtz, Saban)
Arraign Man
Adding to his infamous list of firsts, Donald Trump becomes the first president, current or former, to be indicted for a crime. But it likely will not be his final indictment.
Expect zero epiphanies from the general public. Some of us have understood what a snake and a crook Trump is and has been for decades (just read Jeff Pearlman’s book, Football For A Buck, which details Trumpian manipulations and malfeasance dating back to 1985). All yesterday demonstrated is that at least one district attorney has the stones to put Trump on trial.
This is Law & Order Trump.
And there’s the rest of America, for whom Trump can do no wrong. Even when confronted directly with the evidence. Trump admitted on tape that he is a serial sexual abuser (the Access: Hollywood tape), he acknowledged later that he said it, and he still retained the evangelicals and a lot of pearl-clutchers and church goers who, for whatever reasons, opted to look the other way (at least he’s not a woman who forgives her husband receiving a blow job was the reasoning of some). They’ll buy into Trump’s persecution complex.
This is Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (and the victim is ME) Trump.
I’d suggest you follow Seth Abrahamson on Twitter. He had a long thread yesterday explaining how this hush money payment was never about Trump maintaining a reputation (ha!) of being a faithful husband but more about winning the 2016 election. And all the ramifications of that. It’s worth reading, though I believe that James Comey’s “We’re investigating Hillary’s server” statement less than a week before the election did far more damage.
The victory in yesterday’s indictment is not that the Deplorables will finally see the light. The victory is simply that, for once, the people in power chose to enforce the law rather than consider the repercussions of either choice and opting for the one that created less disruption (particularly among the rich and powerful). If only someone had had those stones during the sub-prime mortgage crisis, as opposed to resorting to “Too Big To Fail,” me might have avoided Trump altogether.
Dollar Quiz
Who was the first pitcher to violate the pitch clock rule?
If a batted ball sails over third base and lands directly on the white line, is it fair or foul?
Name the actor whose father competed in the 1936 Olympics in Berlin (he’s British).
Name classic NYC-based sitcoms with 2, 4, 5, 6 and > 6 close friends (bonus $1 if you can name one with three).
Yesterday’s answers: 1) Mississippi State, Notre Dame, South Carolina 2) Rich Hill 3) Iraq, Iran, Syria, Armenia, Georgia, Greece, Bulgaria 4) U.S. Steel 5) Grand Rapids
Anomaly or Harbinger?
The San Francisco Giants and New York Yankees were two of four teams (the Braves and Nats started moments earlier) who launched the Pitch Clock era today. What did we encounter? A game that wrapped neatly in 2:34 AND a combined 32 strikeouts (each side had 16).
Was the strikeout total more about staff aces and last season’s MLB strikeout leader (Gerritt Cole) or was it more about the pitch-hit clock? Maybe a little of both. It’s our feeling that the pitch-hit clock makes it easier for pitches to maintain a rhythm while it may, at least earlier in the season, make batters feel rushed. Kinda like playing blackjack with your friends as opposed to the first time you sit down at a table at the Bellagio. Feeling rushed, making poor decisions.
Also, a follow-up to yesterday’s Anthony Volpe item: the Yankee rookie actually phoned Brett Gardner and asked him for permission to wear that number. Classy. Also, as Matt Vesgersian insightfully noted, Volpe’s favorite player was Derek Jeter, who wore 2, and 11 may be construed as 1 + 1 = 2.
Ballpark Buddies
The Giants opened their season in New York City for the first time since their home was the Polo Grounds. Look how close the Polo Grounds and Yankee Stadium were once located. Apparently, less than half a mile apart across the Harlem River.
Worth noting: neither of the stadiums pictured above exist today. The Polo Grounds are now apartment buildings, and the Steinbrenners tore down the House That Ruth Built and erected a new one just across the street from where you see the left field bleachers.
Guessing Liverpool and Everton in the EPL might be the best modern comparison. The distance between Anfield (Liverpool) and Goodison Park (Everton) is 0.59 miles…an easy walk through Stanley Park. pic.twitter.com/5fS4NYXC6R
I asked on Twitter if there’s another two stadiums so close that house two teams that play the same sport (who, unlike the Clippers and Lakers, don’t actually share the venue). The possible correct answer came from this wonderful tweep.
This work by Cathy Wilcox of the Sydney Morning Herald deserves a Pulitzer. There’s really nothing new to say about these tragedies. Politicians who accept NRA donations are, for the most part, willfully trading the lives of children for money (and the power that comes with being reelected). It’s blood money; there’s no denying that.
The hypocrisy is, of course, shameless. And the easiest way to illustrate that is automobiles. You must register your car, you must also register yourself. No one bats an eye. But ask these 2nd Amendment truthers, who ALWAYS conveniently ignore the phrase “well-regulated” to give an inch on guns and they act as if someone just suggested canceling Yellowstone.
There’s no reasoning with these types. As we see it, only two solutions: nationwide school strikes by students AND teachers or, sad but true, someone needs to start giving these pols a lead-based taste of their own medicine.
Leap Of Faith
The 1973 film Papillon aired on TCM two nights ago. It starred Dustin Hoffman and Steve McQueen as two Frenchmen imprisoned for crimes first in French Guiana and later on Devil’s Island, 24 miles off the coast of South America. Above is the climactic scene, as McQueen’s character (this was based on a true story) leaps either to freedom or his death (I’m not going to spoil it).
A few notes:
A) McQueen did this leap himself. The Tom Cruise of his day, McQueen often insisted on doing his own stunts (particularly in love scenes with Faye Dunaway). He rode the motorcycle and did the jump in a film 10 years earlier.
B) The director chose this panoramic shot to show the climactic leap. While it provides great perspectie on how high up the cliff was, how perilous the jump, it robs McQueen of any glory. The audience has no way to know that it’s McQueen, and not a stuntman, jumping. I imagine this did not sit well with Steve, who called this moment “one of the most exhilarating of my life.”
C) That scene was shot in Ke’anae, Maui; not in any of the other locations for the film (Spain, Jamaica). This was already an overly costly film ($12 million, including McQueen’s $2 mil salary) to make, so I’m a little surprised they’d venture all the way to Hawaii for one scene, albeit a memorable one.
D) A hedge: there is a previous scene in which McQueen falls from a small cliff into a river. I cannot be sure, and searching on the web has failed to yield a conclusive answer, if THAT was the actual cliff jump to which McQueen referred. And not the film’s above climactic moment.
E) Further, I’ve been unable to find the height of that cliff. I know; I’m useless. But I’d venture more than 100 feet.
Metaphor/Meme Alert
Hitting the ceiling during the Pro Day is an incredibly big brain move from Anthony Richardson. Gotta respect it. pic.twitter.com/RLI8WDoZyb
This was Anthony Richardson at his pro day, his pass hitting the ceiling at UF’s indoor training complex. I sent this to SportsBrain, who for a finals paper tried to do more than he needed to do (in essence, shelving the assignment he’d committed to doing and then crashing and burning on the improvised one) and wound up receiving a “C.” But he was not a grad student so he did not go whine in an email about it to my boss. Because he understood that he received what he did based on his work. That’s why I’d hire him if given the chance. (Am I worried that former ASU colleagues or students will read this? Exactly the opposite.)
As for Richardson, this play may wind up being a metaphor for his value. Off-the-charts athletic ability, but all we want is for the pass to be completed. We’ll see if it turns out to be an apt metaphor or not.
Dollar Quiz
Name a current Oakland A.
In Papillon, both Hoffman and McQueen have a character trait or plot point that is redolent of earlier films each appeared in. Name the films and the trait or plot similarity.
In what country was Robert Oppenheimer, the father of the atomic bomb, born?
The other day, in a spring training game, the Astros beat the Cardinals 24-1. What is the greatest final score disparity in a regular season MLB game (hint: happened this century)?
Name a college head football coach who appeared in The Blind Side as himself but has NEVER won a national championship.
Not only have the New York Yankees placed 21 year-old shortstop Anthony Volpe on their opening day roster, but they’ve also penciled the Watchung, N.J., native to be in the starting lineup. And they’ve given the first can’t-miss-kid since Derek Jeter jersey number 11.
That’s not only the lowest non-retired jersey numeral (besides “0”) in franchise lore, but it’s also the number of former Yankee centerfielder Brett Gardner, who, if you’re paying attention, still has not officially retired. A moment of homage for Gardner, who on paper feels like someone all Yankee fans should adore, but who in reality never entered their/our hearts in the way that Paul O’Neill or Tino or Bernie or even Luis Sojo ever did.
To begin, Gardner was a walk-on at the College of Charleston. That’s how lightly regarded he was.
Then he makes the Yankees and spends his entire 13-year career with them. The accolades: one World Series win, one All-Star selection. Gardner once led the A.L. in steals, once led it in triples and once won a Gold Glove.
On the all-time Yankees list, Gardner is third in steals (behind a pair of rock-solid Hall of Famers) and eighth in triples (behind a few Hall of Famers and a few Yankee legends, such as Wally Pipp). He’s 22nd on their all-time hits list. Should the Yankees retire/have retired Gardner’s number? Of course not. But if you’re Brett Gardner, sitting home in Holly Hill, S.C., waiting for the phone to ring, or at least waiting for the Yanks to treat you as well as they’ve treated, say, O’Neill, it can be argued that you have a legitimate gripe.
But again, no Yankee fan ever embraced Gardner the way we/they do the true Yankee legends. He may be this century’s Wally Pipp (who twice led the A.L. in home runs). And Volpe, who’ll be an instant favorite in the right field bleachers, is Gardner’s Lou Gehrig: taking not his position, but his number.
Dollar Quiz
Since 2017, three different programs have appeared in two NCAA women’s basketball championship games. Name them.
Albert Pujols was the oldest MLB player last year. Who will be the oldest this season?
Name a country that borders Turkey.
What company’s stock ticker symbol is “X?”
Which of these cities did NOT have a franchise in the inaugural NBA season (1949-50): Grand Rapids, Sheboygan, Indianapolis?
Moments before Maryland and West Virginia tipped off to christen this year’s NCAA tournament, CBS (above) did a fun segment in which they used a certain set of parameters (there were about five data points, as I recall) to show which schools had no chance to win the tourney. At the end of their winnowing, only the above 10 schools met all the criteria.
To win the tournament.
Not a single one of the 10 advanced to the Final Four. Who did?
FAU. Miami. San Diego State. UConn.
Moreover, we have a 4-seed (UConn), a pair of 5-seeds (SDSU and Miami) and a 9-seed (FAU) in the Final Four. Three of the four schools have never advanced this far. Conventional Wisdom has opted for the transfer portal this month. It’s…
What’s next, you ask? A female school shooter?
If the Owls face the Hurricanes next Monday night, it’ll be the two nearest campuses (49.5 miles) ever to play for the championship.
If the Aztecs play the Huskies, it’ll be the two farthest campuses (2,977 miles) ever to play for the last shining moment.
Dear Brigitte
As I’ve typed before, one of the reasons I’m always tuning to TCM (or now, also FXM) is the chance that I’ll be enchanted by the odd old movie I’d never even heard of before. Enter Dear Brigitte, a cute 1965 offering starring Jimmy Stewart (A-list all-timer legend) and Billy Mumy (yes, it’s the “Danger, Will Robinson!” kid from Lost In Space… basically, for the time, the backup redheaded kid, the poor man’s Ron Howard).
Briefly, Stewart is a beloved but futzy professor of poetry whose nuclear family lives on a houseboat in Sausalito. Mumy, his 8 year-old son, is a mathematical genius, a virtuoso. But all that he desires in the world is to meet Brigitte Bardotte.
As I watched, I could not help wondering whether Ben Affleck and Matt Damon had seen this film before writing Good Will Hunting. I’ve never heard either mention it, but the mathematical genius bit story line has some overlaps. If not the French sex goddess overlap.
It’s Jimmy Stewart near the end of his career, and it’s sweet and funny and—spoiler alert— the title character does at last make a cameo. So tune in for that if for no other reason.
The Women’s Tourney
Three big storylines:
• Iowa’s Caitlin Clark, the best player at the college level for a year or two now, explodes for 41 points, 10 rebounds and 12 assist as the Hawkeyes eliminate Louisville to advance to the Final Four. No player, male or female, has ever eclipsed 40 points in a tourney game and recorded a triple double.
•South Carolina remains unbeaten (35-0). The Gamecocks, defending national champs who meet Maryland tonight with a Final Four berth on the line, are 70-2 the past two seasons, the two defeats coming by a total of three points.
• UConn is out. The Huskies fail to advance to the Final Four for the first time since 2007. That’s before LeBron won his first title (or Steph), before the subprime mortgage crisis erupted, before anyone had even heard of Taylor Swift. Geno Auriemma has led the Huskies to 11 national championships, but none since 2016.
Geno turned 69 last week. How much longer will he continue?
Jon Stewart Provides Yet Another Lesson In Journalism
Here’s Stewart pushing back on Fareed Zarakiah, an erstwhile celebrated Newsweek writer (I hear those guys are really smart), when Zarakiah asks if Donald Trump should be arrested. Diplomatically as he is able, Stewart wonders how come cable news is devoting more time to that question as opposed to explaining earnestly to their audience what the crime is that he’s being investigated of committing, what the evidence has revealed, etc.
Stewart’s gently nudging Zarakiah to move away from the “feels.” Do your job. Report the news. Inform. Don’t do a taste test. Why is this so difficult?
Dollar Quiz
What band name-checks a celebrity mentioned in today’s blog? And what is the song?
Only one Pac-12 school has never been to the Final Four. Name it.
What six elements are most prevalent in the human body?
What famous philosopher was Alexander the Great’s tutor?
What Ivy League school has been to two Final Fours (more than all the others combined)?
There’s nothing like the first weekend of March Madness and Don’t change a thing! (True and yes)
College football’s playoff is about finding the best team in the sport (Why is that important?)
I’m perennially amused by the fact that the same folks who are in crazy, stupid love with March Madness seem so infatuated with determining the truly best team in college football. Does anyone really think FDU (above) is a better team than Purdue, or Princeton better than Arizona? In a seven-game series between either pair, whom are you taking?
Which is not to say that I’d change a thing about March Madness. I was listening to the final eight minutes of FDU-Purdue on the radio while driving and it was far more dramatic than any moment in this season’s CFB playoff—or at least right up there with the second half of Georgia-Ohio State—even though both these schools would fail to reach what is college hoops’ Round of 16.
So here is a modest proposal, one that would make college football a little more like March Madness while also appreciating that you cannot ask gridders to play that many games against that much top-tier competition on top of their regular seasons. Or at least that you should not.
I’m J-Dubbing it the “Sweet Sixteen Weekend.” Here’s how it works. Sixteen schools make the CFB playoffs, with at least four schools being outside the Power 5. These schools are seeded 1-16, just like in hoops. Now here’s where it becomes fun. The first two rounds, which are played on a Thurs-Sat or Wed-Fri (just like in college hoops, but avoiding Sunday for NFL reasons) are only 30-minute games. Two 15-minute halves.
So maybe you have No. 1 Georgia facing No. 16 Toledo in a first-round game that is actually only 30 minutes. The winner faces the winner of a similar game between Nos. 8-9 two days later, also a 30-minute game.
This has multiple benefits:
A) Less wear-and-tear on players
B) The same opportunities for magic as in the opening weekend of March Madness
C) More schools get a shot at the playoff
D) Most of these 1st- and even 2nd-round games will likely be blowouts anyway, so who needs 60 minutes when 30 minutes provides the answer we need (see: last January’s national championship game).
We all loved FDU’s win over Purdue, though everyone watching knew that while Purdue had a legit Final Four shot, FDU never would reach that spot. The better team lost, and no one was up in arms. If somehow Toledo shocked Georgia, why would or should we feel any different?
You thus have four playoff sites, sending four schools to each. After three days, you have a winner and now you’ve got a college football final four.
I can already hear the detractors: a 30-minute football game is not an actual game. So what? It’s still football. It’s more “football” than an overtime that eliminates special teams play. The shorter game gives the underdog a greater shot, which makes it more entertaining if for some reason Toledo builds a 10-0 first-quarter lead. Most importantly, this would make outstanding theater.
Así fue la anotación de Leandro Requena desde su propia puerta y que dejó a Brayan Cortés quieto, provocando el error del portero albo en el #CSLvsCCxTNTSports. pic.twitter.com/HDL2K22QnS
Gotta admit, I’d never seen a goalie score a goal off a goal kick (outside of 7 & 8 year-old leagues) before. If this also happens to be the climactic moment of season 3 of Ted Lasso, I wouldn’t be surprised.
Tim Brown & The Transfer Portal
Was ruminating on the transfer portal yesterday and thinking about my old college classmate, Tim Brown. It occurred to me that if the transfer portal existed in the 1980s, there’s almost no way Brown remains at Notre Dame four years and wins the Heisman Trophy (maybe he does win the Heisman Trophy somewhere else, but now way he remains in South Bend).
Brown’s first college play was a muffed kickoff that Purdue recovered and quickly leveraged into a touchdown. His freshman and sophomore years, he played well but the team stunk. They were better his junior season, Lou Holtz’s inaugural campaign, but still finished 5-6. Does a 2022 version of Tim Brown, a player with such spectacular talent, tough out three seasons of that? Even if his senior year was full of transcendent moments? I don’t think so.
And that’s what’s lost. And I don’t blame the current generation of college kids as much as I do the adults who’ve enabled that line of thinking: if things are tough, quit and leave. The Field-Turf is greener somewhere else.
Sure, there are many situations in which you’re in an abusive relationship or it’s not healthy for you to remain where you are. The majority of the time, however, the fault lies not in our stars but in ourselves. I’m glad Tim Brown never had that option. I imagine he is, too.
Scareway To Heaven
Nope. Uh-unh. Definitely not!
This is the Sky Ladder in Gosau, Austria, a 40-meter rope ladder whose photo speaks for itself. This is something humans are allowed to do, without a license. And Ron DeSantis is afraid of a few books. Puh-leeze.
Dollar Quiz
Who is the only current Major League hitter in the all-time Top 30 in either batting average or OBP?
Name another actor besides Marlon Brando who appeared in On The Waterfront (hint: three others were Oscar winners and a fourth deserved at least one)?
Which planet’s rotational axis is 98 degrees, so that it looks more like a bowling ball rolling down a lane?
Willis Reed just passed away at the age of 80. He was the starting center on on the 1973 New York Knicks, the last Knicks team to win an NBA championship. How many of Reed’s teammates from that squad besides Reed are in the Naismith Hall of Fame?
