“After a term that spanned two monarchs…” Wait, let’s try that again… “After a tenure that lasted 43 times longer than George O’Leary’s in South Bend…” How about, “After six weeks in No. 10 Downing Street…?” Yes, that’ll work. After six weeks in No. 10 Downing Street, Conservative Liz Truss has resigned as Prime Minister of Great Britain.
Will this even merit an entire episode of The Crown?
Rule No. 7 Two’fer
This is an outstanding photo, by the way, by K.C. Alfred of the San Diego Union-Tribune, and will likely hang in Austin’s den after the season ends. It captures both brothers reacting to Austin’s RBI single.
Two first in postseason MLB history yesterday during the LCS round. First, siblings Aaron (Phillies pitcher) and Austin Nola (Padres catcher) faced one another. That had never before happened. Aaron induced a groundout in big brother’s first at-bat but then let him off the hook with an 0-2 middle-of-the-plate pitch that San Diego’s No. 9 hitter rapped into right center for a run-scoring single (the man on first, Ha-seong Kim, was off on the pitch). That hit incited the decisive five-run inning that put the Padres ahead for good to even the series (San Diego’s second five-run inning during its rare four-game postseason homestand). You kind of have to love that the Nola bros are from Baton Rouge, which is not quite New Orleans (NoLa), but close.
Second, the Yankees struck out 17 times to Houston’s two, the largest strikeout differential (15) between two teams in postseason history. At one point six consecutive Yankees whiffed. This is who they’ve been all season, only more so last night. The letdown is that New York still had a chance to steal Game 1 last night at Minute Maid, but lost 4-2. A letdown if you’re a Yankee fan. Meanwhile, Jose Altuve is now 0-19 during this postseason.
Now This Was The Game 7 We Needed
Phoenix Suns basketball fans are still not over the Game 7 beatdown that Luka Doncic and the Dallas Mavericks unleashed last May when, early in the third quarter, they led by 39 points (70-31). Only a 40-point fourth quarter by the Suns reserves that Sunday made the final score (123-90) look somewhat less abominable (PHX trailed by 42 points, 92-50, after three).
The NBA, in its infinite wisdom, chose to have the two clubs square off in the same venue last night to begin their respective seasons. And when Dallas raced to a 22-point first-half lead, it looked like more of the same. Then Phoenix miraculously pulled to within one point in the third quarter—only to have the Mavs go up by 15 again.
But something happened in the fourth quarter as, with both Chris Paul (old) and Cam Johnson (injury) on the bench, the Suns staged a comeback. Newcomer Damion Lee, who unlike his teammates owns an NBA championship ring… as a member of last year’s Golden State Warriors, whose best player is Lee’s brother-in-law, Stephen Curry, nailed a couple of big threes late and then, with the score tied at 105, a very difficult off-balance shot from the right baseline (sure, he walked to create space but why should Luka be the only one to get all the calls?) for the game winner.
Quick thoughts on the Yankees outlasting the Indians Guardians, three games to two:
•If it seemed as if Aaron Judge had a subpar series, he really did not. Judge homered once every 2.5 games this season, which is exactly what he did in this series. Sure, he struck out a lot, but as a team the Yankees whiffed 53 times. That’s an average of 10.6 strikeouts per contest. The entire lineup struck out too often.
• The Guardians had more hits (44 to 28), while the Yankees had nearly twice as many walks (17 to 9). Add them together and the Guardians got on base 53 times to the Yankees 45. That’s, oddly enough, the exact number the opposing team struck out: the Guardians whiffed 45 times to the Yankees 53. So the Yanks struck out more and reached base less often but they won. Why? The long ball. The Yankees hit nine home runs to the Indians three, and thusly scored 20 runs (4 per game) to the Indians’ 14 (less than 3 per game).
• The epitome of Yankee offense this series? Giancarlo Stanton, who went 2 for 16 and struck out six times, more than one in every three at-bats. But Stanton’s two hits were home runs and his six RBI led all players. Stanton’s three-run bomb in the first inning of Game 5 proved the series’ knockout blow.
• Don’t know why Terry Francona started Aaron Civale. It was a calculated risk: stay close through five innings and then let your far superior bullpen take over. The problem was, the Yankees were aware of the strategy and so came out extra fired up to take an early lead. After four batters and a 3-0 lead, the game was basically over. As Bob Costas intoned over the TBS broadcast, decades from now Civale will be able to say he struck out the single-season home run king in a big playoff game (which he did), but then he’ll want to quickly change the subject. In our minds, the fault here lies with Francona: Civale had not pitched in 13 days and never in the postseason. We’d have taken a shot with our top relievers early and hope to grab a lead. Then the pressure flips over to the heavily favored Yanks. Moreover, we still don’t understand how Nestor Cortes was able to pitch on three days’ rest while Shane Bieber was not.
1. Give the Cardinal credit. Every once in awhile Stanford enters Notre Dame Stadium (1990, 1992, 2022) and, despite inferior talent, clearly plays with more focus and more resolve and earns the “W.” David Shaw’s 1-4 squad (its only win versus Colgate) stopped the Irish cold on its first offensive series, then marched down field for its only touchdown of the game and this seemed to all happen before the crowd had stopped singing along to “Here Come The Irish.” Notre Dame, which entered on a three-game win streak and should have been playing downhill from the opening kickoff, entered flat-footed. That’s on the coaching staff and the senior leadership.
2. Notre Dame targeted 6’4″ true freshman wide receiver Tobias Merriweather in the end zone twice, batting .500 on the effort. Merriweather’s 41-yard TD catch was the longest touchdown scoring play of the season for the Irish by a full 11 yards and also his first career catch. In the sixth game of the season. NBC’s Jason Garrett noted afterwards that when the Peacock crew visited campus in August that Merriweather’s physical prowess and talent “jumped off the page” at him. So how come he’d never really mentioned this before as the Irish offense struggled to stretch the field? Even if Merriweather only comprehends 33% of the playbook (and I have no idea how much he comprehends) and needs work in run blocking, you need to put him on the field to keep the safeties honest. Before Merriweather’s score, 11 of Notre Dame’s 17 touchdowns had come from 10 yards in or closer. And the Irish still do not have a defensive score or a special teams score this year. Marcus Freeman and Tommy Rees need to put Merriweather on the field more if for no other reason, during a 3-3 season, than to keep the Seattle native happy and stem any thoughts of the transfer portal.
3. The Irish are last, 131st among 131 teams, in interceptions this season, with one. That pick belongs, I believe, to Tariq Bracy on the opening play of the BYU game. The pick did not result in an Irish score. I don’t have a good explanation for this. Transfer safety Brandon Joseph has been an All-American candidate in the past and Bracy has experience. Benjamin Morrison is starting at corner as a true frosh, but he has played competently. Still, last is last.
4. The absence of an effective run game is an enigma. As Garrett noted, the Irish O-line outweighed Stanford’s defensive front by at least 50 pounds per man. Starters Jarrett Patterson, Blake Fisher and Joe Alt all have “NFL” stamped on their futures. While no one in the three-headed backfield (Audric Estime, Logan Diggs, Chris Tyree) is anywhere near Kyren Williams in talent, they each should be able to outgain Casey Filkins. ND retrieved its guru offensive line coach, Harry Hiestand, from the Chicago Bears, and it has talent up front. Why it cannot rely on its rushing attack remains a mystery.
5. On its first fourth down play of the night, Tommy Rees used a play that he’d seen BYU execute to perfection the previous Saturday. You take a wide receiver and put him in motion toward the center of the field, then synchronize the snap and the wideout’s reversal of motion so that he is headed back to the sideline as the defensive back in man coverage struggles to recover. BYU scored its first TD on this play in Las Vegas. The Irish merely converted a first down. The Irish would try the play again later in the game but wideout Lorenzo Styles dropped the pass. It was a little odd that neither Garrett nor Jac Collinsworth acknowledged that this was the same exact play the Cougars had run one week earlier. I’d never seen the Irish use it before then.
6. The called-back touchdown in the first quarter was due to a flag on tight end Mitchell Evans for being an “ineligible receiver downfield,” but the penalty was not his fault. It was the fault of running back Chris Tyree, who was split out wide left but failed to line up a full one yard off the ball. While Garrett acknowledged this, NBC’s cameras twice cut away to Evans, No. 88, on the sidelines after the play. The flag was not his fault. Garrett and Collinsworth knew this, which is probably why neither picked up on the visual cue.
7. The fourth-and-goal inside handoff to sophomore wide receiver Jayden Thomas was a curious call. To our memory, that’s Thomas’ first career rushing attempt. Sure, if it works, the element of surprise is in your favor. But when it doesn’t, and this is at least the second time in as many games the Irish have come up short on 4th-and-goal, the call invites questions. The fact that the Irish felt they needed to get cute versus the Cardinal is disturbing.
8. Let’s not blame Drew Pyne. Or at least not all that much. He was thrust into a job that literally is over his head (probably why most of his passes are directed outside the hash marks) but he has performed ably the past three games. On Saturday Pyne had three good rushes that won’t make anyone forget Ian Book, but they kept the defense honest and one worked on a third-and-long. It would be nice if Pyne did not lock on to Michael Mayer so often and for so long before he passes, but he’s been, at the very least, adequate. The 3-3 record is not his fault.
9. The Irish attempted another end around to Braden Lenzy and again it went for lost yardage. When will they learn?
10. At this stage in their respective careers, we shouldn’t be hearing “Prince Kollie” more than we do “Isaiah Foskey.” But that’s been the case the past two weeks. Foskey has all the physical gifts of a first-day NFL draft pick and he’s played well this season. But he has not been as disruptive as a Thursday night selection should be.
11. Notre Dame’s top three efforts (of six) thus far have been on the road and against superior competition than the teams they faced in South Bend: Ohio State, North Carolina and BYU, all of whom are or have been ranked. The Irish are 2-1 against that trio and the Buckeyes, whom the Irish led in Columbus for long stretches, are No. 2 in the nation. Clearly something is amiss in terms of the preparation for home games versus road games (and I know BYU was not a true road game, but you get it). If Notre Dame plays in the shadow of Touchdown Jesus as it has away from South Bend, the Irish are 5-1 right now. Their absence of energy for all three home games is a concern, but as I’ve written before, I think the 30 or so hours leading up to kickoff for a Notre Dame player are an unnecessary slog through pomp and tradition, a vestigial Hail Mary (pun intended) pass to the past. I’d curtail most of it if I were the athletic director, from the mandatory pep rally on Friday afternoons to the mandatory mass on Saturdays (How many of these players are even Catholic?).
12. In terms of Marcus Freeman, patience. Lou Holtz was 5-6 his first season (albeit playing well versus a murderous schedule) and Brian Kelly was 4-5 after two months. Ty Willingham started out 8-0 and Charlie Weis was signing a bazillion dollar extension after a home loss to a Pac-12 school on October 15th (all the same elements as last Saturday). As a longtime CFB observer, Freeman’s preternatural calm, almost zen-like demeanor, is almost worrisome. Sure, Twitter can’t mock him for having a purple face, but there’s also the wonder as to whether he instills enough healthy fear in his own players. Who knows? And does it matter? I’m not sure. What is known is that the Irish have far more talent than all three teams they’ve hosted this season, and they’re 1-2 in those games. They get UNLV this week and the spread is 24.5 points. Not sure if they cover, but if for any reason they lose, or if they are trailing for a significant portion, then the Freemans would do well to not plant any saplings in their yard. Though I doubt much planting is done in late October in South Bend.
The B.S. Wonders…
… After the first half Alabama played, only down four points, did anyone really believe Tennessee would hold them off? I did not. Props to the Vols, who could disrupt all of college football’s hierarchy if they finish 13-0. That would mean Georgia did not advance to the SEC Championship Game and that Alabama had at least two losses. Would open the door for a fresh face (UCLA? Mississippi? TCU?) in the college football playoff. It’s probably too much to hope that another orange team, Syracuse, upsets Clemson (yes, also orange)… Still, if Jahmyr Gibbs catches that flare out pass on third down, Bama probably wins. As outstanding as Tennessee played (Jaylen Hyatt, have yourself a day with five TD receptions), it still came down to a Bama miscue… The fate of Oklahoma State’s and USC’s undefeated seasons came down to either overtime or a last-second two-point conversion. Much like how Alabama let one late play (and that’s before we talk about Tennessee’s two completions in the final :25) upend their season… Michigan and Ohio State have yet to play a nervous game yet. And they most likely will not before November… perhaps against one another… Is 6-1 Illinois the most unlikely pleasant surprise in the Power 5 this season?… How good was Peyton Manning on College GameDay? The world needs more Mannings, and the good news is that we appear to be getting them… Did you see Please Don’t Destroy’s “Wellness” video on SNL? Good stuff…
… The second-year trio, all NYU alums, do have a little bit of nepotism working in their favor. Martin Herlihy (the bespectacled one, I believe) is the son of former SNL head writer Tim Herlihy. John Higgins is the son of former SNL writer and Jimmy Fallon announcer Steve Higgins.
A note, nay, a confession: we don’t watch anywhere near as much college football this offseason. It’s… refreshing. So these reports are in no way intended to be comprehensive. Our completion percentage hovers around 50%, making us the Braxton Burmeister of college football re-cappers. Of course, this column remains pro bono (but also, as you’ll see, pro Bobo). If you care to donate, though, you may do so via PayPal and hit up trumansparks88@gmail.com.
Addison is a key addition for the Fight On crew
Own The Portal, Be Immortal
College football has morphed into the sports version of that classic SNL sketch, “Meet Your Second Wife.” Watching a pair of college football games from Los Angeles this weekend instilled in us the primacy of owning the college football portal in this brave new world of CFB. On Friday night undefeated Washington and UCLA clashed (and not just fashion-wise) in the Rose Bowl. The Huskies were led by quarterback Michael Penix, Jr., an Indiana transfer who just happened to be leading the nation in passing (and still is, despite the 40-32 defeat). Two-thirds of the Bruins’ offensive skill-position triad are also transfers: matchup nightmare Mike Bobo (6’5″), late of Duke, who runs like a deer but looks like a tight end; and running back Zach Charbonnet, who returned home to Los Angeles after a season at Michigan. All three players shined in a game that kicked off at 10:30 p.m. on the East coast.
On Saturday night, same kickoff time (maybe this is a Pac-12 After Dark item disguised as a transfer item?), USC defeated team-without-hap Arizona State, 42-25. USC’s top three offensive weapons are all transfers, as you probably know: quarterback Caleb Williams (Oklahoma), wide receiver and reigning Biletnikoff winner Jordan Addison (Pitt) and running back Travis Dye (Oregon). Dye, like Charbonnet, played his high school football in the Los Angeles area. Also worth noting that the Sun Devils had lost to the portal two key offensive weapons: quarterback Jaylen Daniels is slinging for LSU, who—don’t look now—is 4-1 with an only loss being a product of a blocked PAT at the end of regulation in the season opener versus Florida State; and 6’7″ wideout Johnny Wilson, now a Seminole, whom the ESPN guys splooge over every time his name is mentioned. Wilson, who’s actually on his third school, had hands of stone in Tempe. He has markedly improved.
There are so many more: quarterback Adrian Martinez (Nebraska to Kansas State) has the Wildcats ranked 20th (an inexplicable home loss to Tulane preventing K-State from being 5-0); Alabama, of all schools, is relying on a running back from Georgia Tech, Jahmyr Gibbs, to be its RB1. Not coincidentally, the coaches at Nebraska and Georgia Tech were fired before the calendar struck October.
Gibbs’ move about 2 1/2 hours west from Atlanta to Tuscaloosa is paying dividends for him and Bama; not so much for Geoff Collins and Ga. Tech
Sure, plenty of 2022 studs are still with the girl they brought to the prom (Bryce Young, Spencer Sanders, Bijan Robinson, to name just a few), but it’s more and more apparent that, as a coaching staff, your transfer portal “recruiters” need to be even more skilled and comprehensive than your high school recruiters. First, for a coach whose bath temperature is rapidly rising, transfers represent a much quicker fix. Second, they’re already established and you don’t have to shepherd them through the freshmen transition. And not only must schools begin to better appreciate the importance of the transfer portal. So must broadcasters. The portal, and not recruiting classes, has now become the largest indicator of a program’s offseason development—or depletion. And that’s also what makes it different. The portal, unlike recruiting prep stars, is a zero sum game. Look at Ga. Tech and Alabama. The Tide’s gain of Gibbs is just as much a story as the Yellow Jackets’ loss of him. Unlike pro sports, Ga Tech received no compensation.
Meanwhile, the portal will probably only widen the chasm between haves and have-nots. The only reason that you’re transferring, say, to a Purdue is because you’re stuck on the second or third team or you grew up in the area. But if you’re someone who’s established himself at a perennial sub-.500 or thereabouts school, such as Bobo or Gibbs, you transfer to a Bucket List School.
Final thought: the transfer portal being fluid as it is, the ultimate power move would be for Nick Saban to announce that he’s retiring, then persuade his top 40 players to join him as he returns to his alma mater, Kent State. Watch the Golden Flashes go 12-0 and earn a berth in the expanded 12-team playoff. Okay, maybe not Kent State, but what if Nick did this at Hawaii (maholo, bitches!) or even SEC doormat Vandebilt? We’d be rooting for them.
Jenny, Jenny*
*If you are a certain age, the words “Ooh, can I call you” just popped into your head
That, above, is Jenny Dell, CBS’s new sideline reporter for its marquee SEC game each Saturday. So it occurred to us that now both CBS and Fox (Jenny Taft) are leading with women named Jenny who have a four-letter surname that goes consonant-vowel-consonant-consonant. But the similarities only begin there. Both ladies attended college in Massachusetts (Dell attended UMass-Amherst; Taft, Boston University… SEC sororities should be mildly ashamed that a pair of Massachusetts schools-without-Division-I-football grads are taking these gigs) and both married professional athletes. Dell wed former Boston Red Sox infielder Will Middlebrooks (she covered the Red Sox for NESN), while Taft married Matt Gilroy, a former NHL skater and winner of the hockey Heisman, the Hobey Baker Award. Further, Dell’s cameraman is named Taft and Taft’s cameraman is named Dell (okay, that’s not true, but if Steve Rushin is reading this—and why would he be?—he’ll appreciate the line).
We remember seeing this in real time and thinking, that’s just filthy by Dorian Thompson-Robinson. The ESPN announcers didn’t see to notice the U-Dub tacklers pulling a Florida offensive linemen-in-Musgrave-era Keystone Cops move in real time or even on the replay. Not until ESPN returned from commercial did they point it out. Someone on Twitter wondered aloud, “Can a play win the Heisman?” Outstanding point, sir. By the way, we believe this was at the end of the same drive in which DTR hurdled a Husky tackler (and on that play as well, two Husky defenders collided). This is a here’s-my-reel drive for the veteran Bruin QB.
Aaron Judge Not, Lest You Be Aaron Judged
How meta is it to be interrupting your own college football recap column with an item on the Aaron Judge nontroversy? Full disclosure, I’m a lifelong Yankee fan and so in terms of my interest in Judge’s home run chase, it would be foolhardy for me to claim I’m 100% objective. However, I am sincere in this task so allow me to pontificate for a moment or two. To me, it’s all a matter of maintaining perspective. Like, sure, if you’re watching Houston play Tulane on TV on a Friday evening (and did not attend either school), you may have bigger problems. And yes, I can understand how a live look-in to an Aaron Judge at-bat might seem annoying (it’s a split-screen; it’s not as if they dropped the football game entirely).
But isn’t this where it’s time to be an adult and say to yourself, “Personally, I don’t love it, but I can at least understand why the suits at ESPN are doing it?” I don’t know where the majority falls on this, because in the world of social media, it’s always the unhappy noisy few whose voices are the loudest (cutaway thought: almost no one goes on RateMyProfessor.com to say, “I thought the prof was at the very least above average”). We live, sadly, in a post-Yelp! world where the loudest whiners can make it seem as if they are in the majority. I imagine most people are like myself: we just don’t have the energy to say that we like something or, if we’re not a huge fan, can roll with it. Again, perspective. How big of a deal is this really?
Fox’s Tim Brando, whom we adore in most situations, tweeted out about this radical injustice and used the word “terrorizing” to describe what ESPN is doing here. And then he called out “media critics” for giving ESPN a free pass here. I’m no longer a paid media critic, but I am currently reading Max Hastings “Inferno: The World at War, 1939-1945.” Now as you read about the countless millions who died the most horrible of death due to the true terror perpetrated by the Nazis, and Josef Stalin, and the Japanese, it’s hard to get too riled up about a split-screen viewing of Aaron Judge’s home run chase.
And yes, I realize I just went full Sinead O’Connor on a sports argument and that’s not really fair. Everyone, I would hope, would appreciate that when we are arguing sports that we still appreciate sports’ true role in relation to the actual important issues in the world. Then again, as a lifelong human being in these United States, I wonder if we Americans are so often so out of touch with reality (i.e., the “first-world problems’ issue) that we actually have lost perspective. I’d argue that using the word “terrorizing” in relation to a live look-in to an Aaron Judge at bat gives me sufficient reason to muse on that.
Can A Play Win The Heisman, Part 2
Cobee Bryant stole the receiver's towel then threw it up the air to pick off the pass pic.twitter.com/0fcD6cLnpA
— CJ Fogler account may or may not be notable (@cjzero) October 1, 2022
Notable That He Tosses Helmet With Non-Throwing Arm
Wondering if one national network gets permission before airing footage from another national network on Twitter. With zero accreditation? Or do they all share? https://t.co/M1MbPUSyjO
… If you realize that both Alabama and now Georgia found themselves trailing in the fourth quarter to an unranked team on the road this season. Clemson found itself trailing in the fourth quarter at Wake Forest, which was ranked 21st at the time. Playing in your opponent’s on-campus venue ain’t so easy, is it? Ohio State, 5-0, has yet to venture beyond the Horseshoe… WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG POST TO TAKE YOU TO YANKEE STADIUM, WHERE AARON JUDGE IS WALKING TO HOME PLATE… How genius and aware of your fan base for the University of Wisconsin to announce the dismissal of head coach Paul Chryst during the fourth quarter of a tight Packers home game versus the Patriots? Chryst’s offense was criminally obsolete, but he is a Badger alum who led them to a Rose Bowl. Still, this may be what I remember most about his tenure. How on-the-nose Wisconsin his firing was… Should’t MacKenzie Scott be the next Bachelorette (if you need help, that’s Jeff Bezos’ ex who then married a high school chemistry teacher and has pledged to give away most of her wealth during her lifetime)?… Isn’t it too bad that UCLA quarterback Steve Bono preceded current UCLA wideout Jake Bobo (probably by about 40 years)? A “Bono to Bobo” connection would have been fun for broadcasters…Wouldn’t you laugh if, just once, you saw a rosary beads-clutching priest anxiously rushing into the medical tent? Or a Native American medicine man waving sage? I know I would… Did you also notice that Bryce Young addresses the not-his-equal college kids “C.J.” in that Fansville ad? Nice touch… After that shot to the head, if Oklahoma quarterback Dillon Gabriel is cleared to play this weekend versus Texas, should Miami fire its team doctor all over again?… If we’d all be discussing that astounding TD catch by Kentucky, the game-winner in Oxford, if they hadn’t flagged the Wildcats for holding?… By the way, Ole Miss QB Jaxson Dart is now officially a misnomer, as he has the worst completion percentage in the SEC…How many of us had, for the Texas A&M at Alabama Saturday, what with all the off-season sniping between Nick and Jimbo, College GameDay setting up camp in Lawrence, Kansas, on October 8th?
Mizzou-ry
If for no other reason than that this college kicker moment needed to be validated, we found ourselves rooting for Missouri on Saturday evening.
Alas, two untimely errors from the right side of Mizzou’s O-line undid the Tigers’ upset bid of No. 1 Georgia. First, a right guard flinched on first-and-inches on the goal line and Mizzou would ultimately settle for a field goal. Later, Mizzou converted a key third-and-nine on a dynamite pitch-and-catch late, but it was nullified by a hands to the face flag (a good call, too). Alas, after that moment Mizzou still led but you could see the heart go out of them. It’s as if they knew what was preordained needed to come true. Kind of like the Mets in Atlanta.
Finally, think about how much more this game would have meant in the BCS era. The No. 1 team likely knocked out of its title quest with loss at unranked Mizzou. Now, it’s almost meaningless. In two years, it’ll be even less so. They’ll tell you that the expanded playoff gives more schools a chance but what it actually does is act as a safety net against blue bloods being undone by an upset loss.
Dye Job
This photo does not begin to do justice to ESPN’s “glamor shot” photo of USC running back Travis Dye, but at least it shows the mustache. Props to ESPN’s Dave Flemming for going there, noting that it “may be my favorite glamor shot” he’s seen this season. No doubt. If you’ve seen it, Dye seems to be going either for an Oates of Hall and Oates look, or ’70s TV cop sidekick look, or supplanting Billy Dee Williams for his own Colt .45 malt liquor ad campaign. Any way you choose to see it, Travis needs himself a guest spot in Fansville and pronto.
When You Realize The Manning Cast Is Just An Update On Statler & Waldorf
Kudos to SNL‘s writers for being this self-aware for the cold open of the show’s 48th season. And also props to host Miles Teller for, as everyone has noted, nailing the Peyton Manning impression. This reminded us of September 1993, we believe, when Conan O’Brien cold-opened the maiden broadcast of his late-night show in similar self-deprecating fashion. Conan, as you know, had previously been an SNL writer.
While we’re at it, rookie Michael Longfellow was solid in this sketch and in his “Weekend Update” appearance, basically transferring some of his stand-up material to the desk. We invite you to check out his stand up material on YouTube, especially the routine about him having three dads. Longfellow, like alums David Spade and Aidy Bryant, is from the Phoenix area. Both of his parents are attorneys out here.
*This is our new home run call, at least for this player during this run
Even the analytics guys cannot spoil this moment for us. Sixty-one years after Roger Maris belted number 61 in 1961, Aaron Judge becomes only the second American League player (and second Yankee) to smile number 61. Meanwhile, a guy named Franke Lasagna, sitting in the first row of Toronto’s elevated left field seats and having brought a glove to the game, whiffs on admittedly what would have been a terrific catch on a baseball traveling at more than 100 m.p.h.
We’d spent the past few nights watching and reveling on the blossoming relationship between Roger Maris, Jr., and Patty Judge (we know: she’s married). By Tuesday we’d even come up with this movie tease: “He broke his father’s home-run record; she broke his heart… ‘Love At First Bat,’ coming to theaters this Christmas.”
Aaron Judge seems like a genuinely good guy. We are happy to say we watched his first Major League at-bat (a home run to dead center in Yankee Stadium) and feel confident that the wealthiest (or one of two) organization in baseball will pay him handsomely this winter and not lose him to Manchester United (about the only other franchise that could afford him). Of course, it would help if the Yanks win the Fall Classic. Lots of drama ahead.
Hurricane Ian strikes Florida’s southerly west coast and it is a banger. Besides being the only hurricane in memory whose name is fully included in the letters of “hurricane,” Ian has brought its 15 m.p.h. winds to places such as Fort Myers and Captiva Island (only 2 m.p.h. below a Category-5 hurricane… imagine if Ian had juiced). And then there’s all that water (it supposedly emptied all the water out of Tampa Bay, and we’re not sure how all of that water displacement works, but we’ve seen the photos). We read yesterday that one cubic yard of water weight 1,600 pounds, which we found difficult to believe, but if true, this explains so much of the devastation. That and winds that turn power lines into match sticks. And… whew… we managed to get through this entire item without mentioning that Gov. Ron DeSantis is a neo-Nazi.
The Hilaree Step Off
If you had not heard of Hilaree Nelson before last week, what you might have learned is that she lived that sort of adventurous life that every longtime subscriber of Outside magazine aspires to. Nelson, 49, lived in the idyllic Colorado mountain town of Telluride with her life partner, Jim Morrison, and two sons. She seemed to make a living by living adventurously, scaling some of the world’s tallest peaks and then, yes, skiing down them. In this video Nelson, a fit beauty and that was likely part of her commercial appeal, describes her ethos:
“I seek out suffering because through suffering I get to know myself a lot more.” Suffering, sure. But not death.
On Monday Nelson and Morrison were skiing in Nepal, down the summit of Mountain Manaslu, the world’s eighth-tallest peak, when she was taken under by a small avalanche. It took two days before rescuers could locate her body. Ten years ago Nelson became the first female in the world to summit both Mount Everest and Lhotse (world’s tallest and 4th-tallest peaks) in a span of 24 hours. The two peaks are separated by a saddle, which Nelson skied across.
We think of the death of free climber Dean Potter. Or of the survival of the protagonist of Free Solo, Alex Hannold. We are fascinated by Nelson and Potter and Hannold because—at least to us—here are people fortunate enough to live in a free society and have first-world problems and yet their thirst for adventure compels them to take the biggest gamble of all: to gamble with their lives when there are zero external forces obligating this. We, at least, think of the millions and millions of people throughout history who never had that luxury, who lost their lives because they were simply born in the wrong country or belonged to the “wrong” religion or were conscripted into battle. And, please understand, we in no way are judging Nelson or the others for this choice. Live your life the way you want. It’s only that, to me, this is why we find these people so compelling. How many humans are willing to risk their lives for… adventure?
Someone on one of Hilaree’s YouTube videos commented, yesterday, that they wonder if she’d think it was worth it all now. We don’t think of it that way. Of course someone who had the appetite for life that Nelson did would never want to have hers extinguished prematurely. We guess the other way to look at it is, How much more living did Hilaree Nelson do in her 49 years than most people would do in 90? RIP.
Balk Showalter
Back to Rule No. 7, which states, as you know by now, that “Every Major League Baseball game offers the possibility to witness something you’ve never seen before.” And you don’t have to be Frankie Lasagna to appreciate that. On Tuesday at Citi Field something we cannot recall seeing: the same Miami Marlins pitcher, Richard Bleier, called for a balk three times during one at-bat. There needs to be a sports doc about this moment. How and why did this happen?
Watch the video. You can definitely make the argument that pitchers balk the way offensive linemen hold (are you going to call it every play?). But as you watch this video, you’ll see that Bleier has a little history with the Blue and maybe they’re reminding him here who’s boss. I dunno. But to allow a two-out single and then see the runner score on a trio of balks? And they wonder why baseball lags behind the NFL and the NBA! Actually, we love the idiosyncrasy and, yes, the possible pettiness.
