by John Walters

MOUNTAIN TIME IS NOW PRIME TIME

He’s comin’.

Deion Sanders is not the first black football coach at the FBS level, he’s not the first black football coach at Colorado, he’s not even the first black football coach at Colorado this year. But in some ways, Coach Prime is the first black football coach in major college football. Why? Because he arrives as someone far bigger than his job title; a man with leverage, who has the potential to be a major disruptor. And that’s a good thing.

I’ll never forget: it was 1991 or ’92 and I was fact-checking a story for SI on Florida State volleyball player/budding model Gabriella Reece (she’d later marry surfing icon Laird Hamilton). In the piece Gabby noted how she’d had a heart-to-heart with fellow FSU athlete Deion Sanders, whom the mainstream media at the time saw as an attention whore who was as much flash as he was talent, and that Deion had told her how she needed to maximize her earning potential and to exploit her gifts. Coach Prime was 30 years ahead of NIL.

I never forgot that anecdote because it informed me that Deion possessed more insight and intellect than many of us were giving him credit for. No doubt here that Coach Prime will be a magnet for talent to come to Boulder and that the Buffs are about to become a big problem for the rest of the Pac-12.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGtYtN3nmPE

If you have not seen the above video yet, we give it the ol’ HR (Highly Recommend).

A few numbers on Deion: finished 8th in Heisman voting (top defensive player) in 1988. Two-time first-team All-American who also played baseball and ran track at Florida State. He had 54 interceptions and 22 touchdown in the NFL (in Hall of Fame) and 186 stolen bases and a .263 batting average in the MLB. Played in two Super Bowls (won both) and one World Series, in which he batted .533 but his team (the Braves) lost. Has a 27-5 record as a head coach with Jackson State.

In short, kids best listen to what he has to say.

JUDGE RENDERS VERDICT

He’s stayin’.

In a deal that could have been finalized on a beer napkin during Game 4 of the ALCS, Aaron Judge re-signed with the New York Yankees for the very round number of $360 million over nine years. That averages out to $40 million per season. The good: Judge, 31, just had arguably the most offensively potent regular season in MLB history, bashing an AL-record 62 home runs while also leading baseball in RBI, Runs, OBP, OPS, slugging percentage and walks. The bad: Judge has yet to lead the Yankees even to the World Series, much less win it, and this October he was actually a postseason liability, striking out three times as often (15) as he hit safely (5). His postseason average? .138

The Yankees had to keep him. He’s a great player and you could not build a better model for the face of a franchise in a laboratory. All that’s left for him to do is to get that chip, as they kids say.

By the way, Aaron’s still not the best-paid Judge in New York City. Judge Judy earns $47 million per year.

BUCKEYE, BUT WHY?

Ohio State, the school with only one loss but not one of the TEN Power Five schools to have played in a conference championship game last weekend, landed the fourth and final berth in this season’s college football playoff. And our question is, How come?

If conference championship games matter, then shouldn’t it matter that the Buckeyes did not even advance to one (before you throw Notre Dame in my face, yes, you’re right; but I’ve got zero problems with the Irish scheduling a 13th game, maybe even against an FCS school as the big boys do, in any year they’re up for consideration… yes, the point is moot going forward)?

Let’s stump for USC. Both the Trojans and Buckeyes beat Notre Dame and both lost one regular-season game, to their respective conference champions. USC showed out better in its last-minute loss at Utah than Ohio State did at home versus Michigan. OSU had an impressive road win at Penn State, but the Nittany Lions never beat a Top 10 team, either at the time or later in the season. USC won at Oregon State, who would later beat Oregon, a higher-ranked team.

USC’s main flaw is that it played Utah a second time, in a game Ohio State was not obliged to play, and lost. But USC has the presumptive Heisman winner in Caleb Williams and the Pac-12 has not had playoff rep since the 2014 season; this will be Ohio State’s fifth playoff. If for no other reason than variety, we’d put USC in. They also, in our opinion, have a superior resume.

Then there are the folks in Salt Lake City who’d point out, Hey, we beat USC twice AND we are our conference’s champion. Yeah, but you Utes have three losses.

In the wake of USC’s Friday night loss to Utah, the gabfest shows felt obliged to debate between Ohio State and Alabama for the fourth spot. We still think USC would be a better choice. They lost to the same team twice, which is not the same as losing to two different teams once. Besides, a first berth versus a fifth? Why?

The Big Ten, before its conference championship game existed, had a rule that if two schools tied for the B1G championship, the team that had most recently been to the Rose Bowl stayed home. We liked that rule. Common sense. The playoff should apply that same measure of insight.

VIVE LA FRANCE?

Heading into the World Cup quarterfinals, defending champion France has the best player (Kylian Mbappe) and the best-looking (Olivier Giroud, who at age 36 just became his country’s all-time leadin scorer in international competitions…but Giroud is wise and humble enough to acknowledge that Mbappe will one day shatter his record).

This is failing to close out on Steph when he has a wide-open 3 pic.twitter.com/T9NnvyrFAm

— John Walters (@jdubs1966) December 4, 2022

France are the defending champions. Brazil has won the most World Cups (5), but their last title was in 2002. The two met in the 1998 final in Paris, with France winning. The quarters also boast 1966 champions England, as well as the two greatest players of this generation, Lionel Messi (Argentina) and Christiano Ronaldo (Portugal), who would only meet in the final (unlikely). The other hopefuls, the long shots, are Morocco, the Netherlands and Croatia.
We foresee a run back of the 1998 final, with the same result. Mbappe is already great, now he’s about to become an icon.

by John Walters

The MH staff was going to give itself yet another morning off—Casual Thursday?— but then there was a World Series no-hitter AND we learned that Miss Argentina and Miss Puerto Rico were secretly married and we were like, Once more unto the breach, my friends.

Phillie Phutility

Rule No. 7 (Every time you watch a baseball game there’s a chance you’ll see something that has never happened in a game before) is working overtime during this Fall Classic. On Tuesday Houston Astros pitcher Lance McCullers, Jr., became the first hurler to surrender five home runs in a single World Series game (the Phils tied the record for most hit in a game) as the ‘stros were swamped, 7-0. And then last night McCullers’ four pitching teammates—Christian Javier, someone someone Abreu, Rafael Montero and Not-Elvis Pressly—pitched the first combined no-hitter in World Series history (and only the second overall after Don Larsen’s perfect game for the Yankees in 1956).

So, one of the worst pitching performances in WS history followed by one of the best, in the span of less than 30 hours, from the same pitching staff.

Interesting note from my super student Jared: Vin Scully had the call for Larsen’s perfect game in ’56 for NBC. Scully, a Bronx native, was then the precocious broadcast voice for the Brooklyn Dodgers, Larsen’s victims that day. So here we are, 66 years later, and Joe Davis had the call last night for Fox. Davis is the current Dodgers announcer, having replaced… Vin Scully, who retired a couple of years ago and only passed away a mere three months ago. Wild.

Also worth noting: the closest Philly came to a hit came early, 3rd inning we believe, with a man already on first (walked) and Kyle Schwarber up. The lead-off dead-pull hitter smoked a screamer that barely sizzled foul past the first base line after taking a hop and was ruled (correctly) foul. But just barely. If that’s a hit Philly has at least men on 2nd and 3rd. That’s the second time this series (also, Game 2, the overturned home run) in which Schwarber has flat-out scorched a ball that was millimeters foul and, if fair, might have changed the outcome of the contest.

You get the feeling that, persistence and excellence being what they are, that Schwarber will eventually be rewarded for all these near-misses with a timely clout later in the series. He already has the most awesome blast (an upper-decker at PetCo Park) this postseason.

Miss Taken Identity*

*The judges will not accept “Caribbean Queens” for cartographical reasons, and also for graphical reasons

This is the content for which the internet was created: the former Miss Argentina, Mariana Varela (left), and the former Miss Puerto Rico, Fabiola Valentin, revealed that they got married last Friday. Both pageant contestants represented their Spanish-speaking nations in 2020.

Ryan’s Express (Plenty of Stops)

The real Matt Ryan

pic.twitter.com/hzgoOH2ziX

— BetMGM 🦁 (@BetMGM) November 3, 2022

Only a buzzer-beating corner three from rookie Matt Ryan saved the Los Angeles Lakers from falling to 1-6 last night. Instead, Ryan’s trey forced overtime against the New Orleans Pelicans (after a Pelican missed two free throws, either one of which would have sealed the win) and led to a Laker victory.

Doing a little research, we were startled to realize this is the same Matt Ryan who never once smiled at Notre Dame and eventually transferred to Vanderbilt… before once again transferring to UT-Chattanooga.

We recall Ryan’s arrival as a freshman in South Bend and were somewhat giddy. Sure, the surname was tailor-made for the Fighting Irish, but this kid looked and shot like the second coming of Doug McDermott. So how come he never seemed to give more than 50%? You could see the potential, but Ryan just never seemed to fit. The 6’7″ kid from Westchester County never averaged double-digits in college until his senior year at UTC, when he averaged 15.7 (and that was the season March Madness was canceled).

Apparently, after college and with the poor timing of Covid-19, Ryan found himself doing odd jobs such as driving for Door Dash and working at a cemetery in Yonkers (not the most famous person associated with Irish basketball to work in a cemetery, though) before catching on with a G-League team. And now a kid who once was stroking shots off passes from the likes of Rex Pflueger and Matt Farrell is teammates with LeBron James.

It’s a crazy world. Don’t try to figure it out.

****

Inveterate readers may have realized that while they’re paying the same price for MH as before, they’re only receiving three items per blog as opposed to five, as MH operated for years. And our answer to that is, “Hey, inflation.”

But, okay, here’s one more… a writers’ roundtable that includes John Krasinski and Bo Burnham. Early on, you can see Krasinski sensing that he’s met his new best friend in Bo, who (and we know this has become a cliche) is the most genius person in entertainment under the age of, well, maybe death. But certainly under 40. If you don’t know Bo, find his Netflix special “Inside,” which is simply a masterpiece.

Also, it comes all the way at the end, but Bo sneaks in an “elephant in the room” line at around 55:55 that gets completely talked over. Sadly. It’s the most incisive comment of the entire hour.

by John Walters

Not A Paula Abdul Documentary

What happens when your soul mate holds no sexual attraction for you (a question Susie B. has wrestled with, obv)? This 2019 film from James Sweeney (right; he wrote, directed and stars in it) is currently playing on Netflix and has a whipsmart dialogue.

Sweeney must be a fan of the “meet cute” and of old movies and he makes two separate references to Gilmore Girls, so you know what you’re in for here. If you cannot name at least two of Rory Gilmore’s three boyfriends, this film may not be for you. If you can, dive in.*

*Film recommended by Katie McCollow, of course.

The Happy Hooker

Why is Tennessee quarterback Hendon Hooker currently atop MH’s Heisman favorites list? Three reasons: 1) He’s one of only two quarterbacks with at least 20 touchdown passes and only one interception (the other is USC’s Caleb Williams), 2) He’s one of only two quarterbacks averaging a nation’s-best 10.7 yards per attempt (the other is Ohio State’s C.J. Stroud) and, 3) he engineered the nation’s most impressive win of the season, over Alabama, in what was thus far the season’s most exciting game, a 52-49 win. The Tide hadn’t lost to an SEC East team in the regular season since, like, 2010.

Now Hooker and the No. 2 Vols visit No. 1 Georgia this week. The last time a 1 vs. 2 matchup in the regular season happened without Alabama being one of the two schools was in 2006, Michigan at Ohio State. On the eve of that game, Michigan’s legendary coach, Bo Schembechler, died. Weirdly, and exactly one week too soon, Georgia’s legendary coach, Vince Dooley, passed away last Friday night. The Wolverines lost that Saturday, if you wanna keep tabs.

Hooker has already moved into the oddsmakers’ slim favorite to win the Heisman (something former Vol QB Peyton Manning never did). If he leads the Vols to a Rocky Top moment in Athens on Saturday—and this just in, Dawgs’ All-American LB Nolan Smith is out for the season with a torn pec—he’ll be way out in front, and the Vols will be ranked No. 1.

Hooker, like most Heisman candidates these past few years, did not start out at the school he now attends. He enrolled early at Virginia Tech in January of 2017…and spent three seasons there. That’s right, he’s now in his sixth year of autumn college football. Hooker will turn 25 just a few days after the college football national championship game. Hooker would be the second-oldest starting quarterback in the AFC East right now.

Verified

Twitter with verification vs. Twitter when I refuse to pay $20 a month for it pic.twitter.com/knP5vEGg2v

— Lynda Carter (@RealLyndaCarter) October 31, 2022

So, as you know, Elon Musk’s $44 billion purchase of Twitter finally happened, we assume, because the world’s wealthiest man considered that a smaller price to pay than enduring discovery in a Delaware court, and then ultimately losing his case, anyway.

The question for some is whether to remain on the platform. Many find it humorous and ironic that Musk has insisted that he does not want to prevent Twitter from becoming a “hellscape” and also that he wants to charge people who are verified $20 a month for that blue check because “it’s the only way to keep out the bots and trolls (but he’s on the side of the bots and trolls, no?).”

Quick question: So if a millionaire celeb chooses not to pay, is Elon going to kick him/her off the site? Or simply retract the blue check mark? I mean, all that person’s followers already know who they are.

https://twitter.com/JamesL1927/status/1587111776767844354?s=20&t=wR5KVAKJIeb7hmizXF9zuQ

We read a good thread this morning (while still in bed, before coffee, and forgot to save) from a prof who noted that Musk seems to think he bought a tech site when in fact he purchased a community platform. And for it to succeed, he must strike a delicate balance. On one hand, you want to preserve the 1st Amendment. On the other, if you make it 4Chan or TruthSocial 2.0, then you’ll drive away all the “libs.” And what fun will it be for the trolls and bots to “own the libs” if they’ve taken their balls and gond home? That’s exactly why the far-right is on Twitter as opposed to Truth Social: it’s more fun to fight than to exist in an echo chamber.

So we’ll see how this all falls out. What will always befuddle us is that of all the tech and social media companies whose stock grew exponentially in the past decade or two (Facebook, Google, Apple, even Musk’s own Tesla), Twitter’s never has. One more function of it being inordinately popular with journalists (guilty) who erroneously thought it resonated more with everyone else.

by John Walters

Shell Game

This, reported earlier today in The New York Times: “

“London-based Shell reported adjusted earnings of $9.45 billion for the third quarter, its second-highest profit on record. On the same day, Paris-based TotalEnergies reported a profit of $9.9 billion.

For both companies, the profits were more than double what they earned in the same period a year ago.”

A few things to remember:

• One, we are talking profits, not revenue. This doubling of an already uber-wealthy corporation’s quarterly profit from one year to the next has nothing to do with how much more it may cost to do business, or the pandemic. This is straight-up profit. It’s all about price gouging.

Maybe because now we have to buy our oil from abroad? Or that’s to much for you to understand?

— eliemaroun (@elieamaroun) October 27, 2022

• Shell would never disclose this information if it was not compelled, as a publicly traded company to do so.

• A certain portion of the population, roughly half, will blame this on the current administration. These same people also advocate all the time about how the government needs to stay out of the affairs of private enterprise. So that’s an example of hypocrisy. But this same portion of the population is immune to being troubled by its hypocrisy. To reiterate, the government or its policies has no impact on a company’s profits. Perhaps it might on its operating costs, but even here that’s not the case.

• The people who need to hear the truth likely do not have the patience to read the explanation or, perhaps even more likely, would never read this blog (though, who would?). The oil companies, whose product is made out of dinosaurs, realized that they have become dinosaurs themselves. At least in a world that cherishes a livable climate. In 1997, five of the world’s largest 19 companies were oil companies—and three others were traditional auto makers. Times have changed and oil companies see that the current administration (as well as many other western governments) are moving to phase out fossil-fuel burning autos in favor of electric types.

So, the oil companies have a few moves they might be making: 1) A final “F You” to all of us consumers off whom they’ve profited so greatly over the decades or, more likely 2) a narrative that the higher gas prices, which concomitantly translate to higher prices on all goods that need to be moved by trucks (or, almost all goods), is not their fault but rather the fault of Let’sGoBrandon. So then Americans will blame him and vote him out. And guess who is voted in? A president and Congress who have been lapping up oil money for campaign contributions and will be oil-friendly as soon as they regain control of the White House. Crafty SOBs, those oil companies. And too much of America is just dumb enough to fall for it.

While we’re at it, watch Syriana some day. Great film.

• Also today, Shell announced that it will buy back more than half a billion shares of its stock by Feb. 2, 2023. Thus creating a scarcity of stock that will cause prices of its shares to go higher (now where did an oil company ever get the idea to create a scarcity out of thin air to cause the price of something to go higher?). That’s good news if you own Shell; bad news for most Americans who don’t own any stock outside of their 401-K.

This, Justin

The Houston Astros should be overwhelming favorites in the World Series that starts tomorrow at Minute Maid Park, no? Houston finished with the best record in the American League. The Philadelphia Phillies were the last of six National League teams to advance to the playoffs, are only in because of the new format, and finished in third place in their own division. Houston won the World Series in 2017 (
“They cheated!” “SHADDUP!“) and this will be their fourth appearance in the Fall Classic in the past six years. Philly has not appeared in a World Series since 2009, and last won in 2008.

Something to keep in mind, though: Houston’s Game 1 starter and ace, the presumptive A.L. Cy Young Award winner this season at age 38 and a surefire first-ballot Hall of Famer (ta dah!), Justin Verlander, has a very uncharacteristic World Series resume. In seven starts, with Detroit and Houston, Verlander is 0-6 with a 5.68 ERA. Verlander looked vulnerable versus the Mariners in the ALDS though he looked light out versus the Yankees (what pitcher not name Civale didn’t?).

Just something to keep in mind.

Foxy Lady

Caught the second half of Foxy Brown, which we had never seen before, on America’s greatest network (TCM) last night. The year is 1974 and Pam Grier (above) plays the girlfriend of an undercover narc while her own brother, played by Antonio Vargas, is working with a gang of drug dealers who are white and whose front business is a modeling agency.

Too much to go into here, but if you’ve never seen it, Holy Chocolate Sex Bomb, Batman. I mean, I don’t recall this movie coming out in my neighborhood when I was eight years old, but if it had and if I’d seen it, we could have skipped ahead at least a decade. There is nothing in six seasons of Breaking Bad that’s as cold and ruthless (not to mention sexy) as this. Spoiler Alerts: Foxy poses undercover as a model/prostitute, but is then found out and sent off as a sex slave to drug rednecks who control her by keeping her hooked on heroin. Later, Foxy exacts revenge by cutting off the private parts of the boyfriend of the female modeling agency owner/drug lord and delivering the contents to her in a pickle jar. Also, the N-word is used at least ten times. All the while Grier is outfitted in about seventeen dozen costumes designed to highlight a figure that has more curves than the plot of The Big Sleep.

Foxy Brown feels like one of those films most of us have heard of but few of us have seen. If you haven’t seen it, MH recommends. And after you do see it, ask yourself what studio would greenlight this film today.

Champaign Supernova

MH’s sleeper college football team of 2022, at least until they play someone good, is the University of Illinois. The Illini are 6-1 but more than that, they lead the nation in both Total Defense (221.1 ypg) and in Scoring Defense (8.9 ppg). Those two stats used to be the best indicators of who would play for the national championship, at least until Air Raid offenses and dual threat quarterbacks were invented (now it’s Total Offense and Scoring Offense).

Also, Illinois boasts the nation’s No. 2 overall rusher (Chase Brown, 151.3 ypg) and number one among Power 5 schools. Brown, who is Canadian, has a twin brother, Sydney, who starts at defensive back for the Illini (“Paging Tom Rinaldi: We have a feature for you!“).

Okay, Bret Bielema’s downstate squad has yet to face a murderer’s row in terms of it schedule, but here’s why the rest of the autumn sets up nice: as temps in the Midwest dip below the 40s and weather impacts games more (cold, rain, wind, maybe even sleet or snow), what better to have than a bone-rattling defense and a money running back (from the Great White North, no less)? This is how you win games around the Great Lakes after Halloween.

The schedule is doable. After a visit to 3-4 Nebraska this Saturday, Illinois hosts Michigan State (3-4) and then Purdue (5-3). Win all three and the Champaign Supernova squad heads to likely unbeaten Michigan on Nov. 19 with a 9-1 record. The best record Illinois has ever finished with in more than 100 years of football is 10-2. They’ve never won 11 games in a season. After UM, they still play Northwestern and then likely a bowl. It’s all possible for the school that gave us Red Grange, Dick Butkus and Roger Ebert.

by John Walters

From Truss To Russ

Yesterday’s big news: the resignation, after six weeks in office, of British prime minister Liz Truss. Today we focus on Russ, as in Los Angeles Laker Russell Westbrook, who shot 0-for-11 in his 2022 Staples Center debut last night, a 103-97 loss to the co-tenant L.A. Clippers.

Two nights earlier, at halftime of the Lakers’ season-opening defeat at Golden State, TNT’s Charles Barkley had put it bluntly. First, he called the Lakers “a bad team.” Again, halftime of the season opener. Then Chuck said, “You know how I feel about Russell Westbrook. I love the guy. The Lakers need to move him.”

Westbrook, a former league MVP, two-time scoring champ and nine-time All-Star and at one time the most dynamic player in the NBA, no longer starts. No idea where you move a guard who cannot shoot threes (or anything much from beyond 10 feet), who’ll turn 34 next month, but his L.A. homecoming has been a dismal exercise. He would tear up the G-League, though. Is there still a G-League?

What Is Wrong With The New York YanKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKees?

The New York Yankees exit Minute Maid Park down 0-2 in the A.L. Championship Series. The Pinstriper pitching has been better than average, their defense superb. So what’s wrong? Well, for a team whose three most probable outcomes are strikeout, walk, home run, they’ve struck out 30 times, walked four times and hit one home run. That is not a recipe for success.

Last night, in a 4-2 defeat, the Yanks failed to hit a home run for the first time in 24 postseason games, snapping their record streak. If you’re a Houston fan, the good news is that you’re up 2-0 without Jose Altuve having gotten a hit yet in either series (they’re 5-0 this postseason and he’s 0-23) and Yordan Alvarez has also been fairly quiet. Those bats will wake up—especially after that fan ran onto the field before the top of the 9th last night to give Altuve batting advice.

Meanwhile, the Yankees, who now have three games in the Bronx, have lost six in a row at Minute Maid Park dating back to 2021.

A teachable moment for the Yanks occurred in the top of the fifth inning. With runners on 2nd and 3rd with one out, both Anthony Rizzo and Gleyber Torres, in successive at-bats, hit run-scoring ground balls. In other words, both batters made contact. Torres is normally one of the worst Yankee offenders in terms of swinging out of his shoes and failing to make contact. The announcers noted this fact and emphasized that Torres had been “rewarded” with an infield single for his more circumspect swing with two strikes. Both grounders resulted in an RBI, the Yankees’ only two runs of the night.

The Yankees led the majors in home runs (254) this season and led the AL in overall runs (807), but in the postseason they’re averaging 12 strikeouts per game. No other team is averaging more than nine. Just about anything is preferable to a strikeout. The Yankees’ best hit last night was a one-hopper back to the mound by Giancarlo Stanton that Astro starter Flamber Valdez misplayed for a two-base error.

Put the ball in play. Give your team a shot. It’s just that simple.

Like A Scene Out Of Signs

Officially one of my all-time favorite football replays. pic.twitter.com/gvlMkdPK5M

— Cameron Cox (@CamCox12) October 21, 2022

From last night’s NFL game. This is the first of consecutive pick-sixes the Arizona Cardinals scored off Andy Dalton just before halftime.

Manchester Divided

If you thought sports diva-dom was limited to NFL wideouts and some NBA All-Stars, let us reintroduce you to Cristiano Ronaldo. Arguably the greatest striker of this (or any) generation of footballers (Messi fans will understandably disagree), Ronaldo is now a dyspeptic thirtysomething playing for the Premier League where his career began, Manchester United. On Wednesday the five-time Ballon d’Or winner refused to enter the game as a sub in a match versus Tottenham Hotspur, then walked off the pitch before the final whistle in Man U’s 2-0 win.

Ronaldo is 37. Manchester United, which is not involved in Champions League play this season, is not where he wants to be. He will play for Portugal in next month’s World Cup, but beyond that he seems an unhappy camper. Wealth, looks and a supermodel wife are not the only keys to happiness. Ask Tom Brady.

Man U. opened the season 0-2 under new manager Ten Hag (yes, that’s his name), with losses to second-tier clubs, but have since gone 6-1-1 with wins versus premier Premier League squads such as Arsenal (first place), Liverpool and Tottenham (3rd place). It may be time for a little attitude adjustment from the petulant performer from Portugal.