If you were alive in the late Eighties/early Nineties, particularly if you lived in New York City, you were made acutely aware of the trauma of early hair loss by the avatar of alopecia, Sy Sperling. News out of Boca Raton this evening is that he has passed at the age of 78.

He’s about to head to the Pearly Gates, where we can imagine he’ll meet Yahweh/God. They have a few things in common: he’s not only the Universe President, he’s also a client.

It was my distinct pleasure and honor to be able to write a profile of Eric Demers for SI.com. And I’d like to thank SI Executive Editor Adam Duerson, a good and loyal friend and the only man I’ve ever taken on in a Shamrock Shake guzzling contest (circa 2004… I won due to Adam suffering premature brain freeze at around the fourth minute…inside a McDonald’s in South Bend…we were both explicitly asked to leave the premises). This piece doesn’t happen unless Adam supports it and, as someone who got my first SI byline around 28 years ago, it was a very warm and satisfying feeling.

So, thank you, Adam.

Thinking about the SI that I first walked into on July 20, 1989, and the SI in the decades prior, versus today, I had this thought: One of the things I loved about meeting and covering Eric Demers last week wasn’t only that he and his wife (and his coaches and family, etc) were such terrific people, but also that they gave me, a print journalist, such unfettered access. I was in his condo; I was invited—it was Eric’s idea— to shoot around with him on his off day.

This can happen for an SI writer still with a Division III athlete. Back in the day this happened for SI writers with Division I All-Americans, and even with pro athletes. That is partly what made SI so untouchable back then. There were no other challengers.

The SI where I began was one that did not need to fend off the internet or even ESPN. The WWL existed by then but it wouldn’t really begin to matter until about 1992 or so. And so I am reminded of one of my favorite SI stories (and ledes), this by Curry Kirkpatrick back in 1971.

Curry was one of the more delicious and savory wordsmiths ever to grace the SI masthead. And here he is hanging out with the nation’s leading scorer, Mississippi’s Johnny Neumann, and his wife at their home. Another dude averaging over 30 a game. Except at a Division I school. Could an SI writer obtain that type of access with Marquette’s Markus Howard today? Maybe. I dunno. But I think ESPN would have a much easier time of it.

Welcome to the latest Democratic debate, a.k.a. “Nobody’s Perfect 2020.”

Bloomberg: Too rich, too racist, too misogynist.

Bernie: Too socialist, even though he’s worth $50 million

Buttigieg: Too insufferably perfect, knows all the answers to the test and raises his hand in class too much.

Biden: Too Burisma.

Warren and Klobuchar: Too female.

****

If I were the Dems, I’d be inclined to scrap the entire field and hire some smart people (and us) to think tank an electable candidate: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Tom Hanks, Dolly Parton or yes, Michelle Obama, George Clooney (with running mate Danny Devito… or Julia Roberts). I’m not even kidding.

Sure, if you’re a responsible, Constitution-defending American, your entire ethos this year should be that of a Michigan fan: “Go Blue!” But that doesn’t mean the Dems should make it so difficult to find one charismatic, likable challenger to the incumbent.

A couple more thoughts on the Asstrholes, now that Giancarlo Stanton has said he could bash 80 home runs a season if he knew the pitches coming, etc. In other words, we’re going to get a different sound byte each day from a perturbed player, and rightfully so (that they are perturbed):

— I don’t think teams will retaliate during spring training. Why bother? I think you’ll see the real vengeance come after Opening Day.

–Of the many consequences that Rob Manfred failed to consider, perhaps the most dangerous is on-field brawls. We can expect some beanings and we can expect at a certain point the Asstrholes will go full Dee Snyder and declare, “We’re not gonna take it/No, we’re not gonna take it/We’re not gonna take it/Anymoooooooooore.” And then what happens? An on-field fight or 16. And what happens if a player is seriously injured? Never mind how viral these fights will get. And that’s all on Manfred.

–You’re Justin Verlander and one or two of your All-Star batters have just been beaned this day. And you’re on the mound. You know what the unwritten rules call for you to do. You also know you’re one of the guys inside the circle who tried to get his teammates to stop banging on trash can lids. Do you throw at the opposing team’s batter? Do you “nail” batter with a 76 m.p.h. off-speed pitch as a passive aggressive memo to your own team? Do you not nail him, creating further schism inside the clubhouse?

–What IS going on inside the Astrholes clubhouse, by the way? Is it divided in two? Are certain players blaming the perpetrators for the hell they’re going to justifiably face this season? Is Dusty Baker telling them one thing very differently from what he’s saying to the press (“Here’s how we handle all the hatred and bean balls, etc.”)? I’d love to know.

–Thought about this: What if an opposing team, playing in Houston, just uses a game as a referendum? The pitcher literally bounces every pitch to the plate on two hops? The fielders take a knee. The fans boo. The opposing team doesn’t care. They can stay out there all day. Walking every batter. Refusing to play defense. Making a grand statement: If Rob Manfred doesn’t care, why should we? If Rob Manfred has no respect for the integrity of the game, why should we? How long until the umps called that contest? Imagine the statement that would make.

–Your thoughts?

Meet Division III outfielder Justin Meekins of Salisbury State. A hero for our times: