by John Walters

Alex Jones’ Diary

We don’t know why Alex Jones’ lawyers turned over the entire contents of his iPhone over to the plaintiff’s attorneys in the InfoWars ghoul’s damages trial in Texas. We only know that he belongs in the “Accidental Text On Purpose” Hall of Fame. If this was truly an accident, this attorney might want to find another line of work (like hosting a right-wing conspiracy theory podcast). But maybe he was just being, uh, patriotic.

We still don’t understand why otherwise decent American folks root for and supports Biffs like this guy. We, as a country, used to despise such flop-sweating fat asses. He’d be the hapless villain in a Home Alone sequel. It all comes back to what I’ve written before about how to define the modern MAGA Republican: “He hates all the same people you do.”

Anyway, Alex Jones has been lying up and down—about whether or not he believed Sandy Hook was a hoax, about his finances—for years. Yesterday he was caught red-handed in the lies.

“Mr. Jones, do you know what perjury is?”

Diana’s Bagel

We don’t know if it has ever happened before in her career, and it certainly never happened in Storrs or Hartford, but Diana Taurasi, the most prolific scorer in WNBA history, was held pointless in the Phoenix Mercury’s loss at the Connecticut Sun in Uncasville, Conn., Tuesday night. We did personally watch Diana go scoreless in a game at Pepperdine in the very first month of her college career, but she was coming off the bench at the time and barely hoisted the rock. On Tuesday the 40 year-old went oh-fer-6 in 11 minutes.

For the record, we checked: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar had one scoreless game in his career, as a Laker pre-Magic at Milwaukee (his former team) in 1977, but he played only two or three minutes. Kareem, like Diana, is the all-time leader in points scored in his league. Michael Jordan, the all-time points-per-game leader, never was held scoreless. Wilt Chamberlain was held scoreless once, in 1967, and he was being guarded by Nate Thurmond.

Worth watching: Taurasi’s Mercury are back in action tonight, again versus the Sun in Uncasville. These are her college fans. Even though she’s no longer even the second scoring option on this club, I doubt she disappoints them twice.

Cramer Vs. Cramer

Yesterday was the 15th anniversary of Jim Cramer’s Chicken Little moment on CNBC with Erin Burnett (and probably, sadly, the last time she wore that giraffe-skinned dress). It’s an amazing piece of television, made even better because history proved Cramer 100% right (“14 million people took a mortgage in the last three years; they took teaser rates or piggy back rates; they will lose their homes”). Remember, he’s saying this in early August of 2007. A full 13 months before the market crashed, but he saw the warning signs.

As Cramer recounted yesterday, the next morning he was invited on The Today Show and the host (as Cramer said, “who’s no longer involved in the television business,” i.e., Matt Lauer) asked him if he was off his meds. That, he said, was the last time he appeared on that show, as the people in the C-suite offices don’t like people coming on air and announcing the economy is on fire (at least not before warning them first so they can short it).

I’m not always aligned with Cramer. He’s way too soft on oil companies, I feel, and disregards the true impact of climate change (they should get Al Gore to come on Squawk Box and tell him that what Cramer was trying to do in 2007 is what he’s been trying do with climate for 20 years). But he nailed this one. And earlier this year, back in February, he predicted the market would bottom on July 13. That, back in February, was when the bear market was only a month or so in. He turned out to have hit the nail precisely on the head, down to the day.

Stick with Cramer. Even if he occasionally annoys you.