by John Walters
Admittedly, we’re a little bit bored with talk of stimulus bills and vaccine rollouts and the latest Trumper Tantrum about the rigged election. There are other sites to read about that. We’re just going full Lloyd Braun (“Serenity now!”) between here and Jan. 20, you know. It’s healthier.
The Blake Show Heads West*
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*The judges will grudgingly accept “Snell’s Like Teen Spirit”
For us, it will remain one of the most intriguing sports stories of the past year. Blake Snell is pitching a lights-out gem in Game 6 of the World Series for the Tampa Bay Rays. Through 5 1/3 innings pitched Snell, the Rays’ ace, has allowed one run on two hits and struck out 12. Twelve!
He’s struck out the top of the Dodgers’ order, the top three hitters. Twice.
And manager Kevin Cash pulls him.
More than inconceivable. It’s unfathomable. And, analytics be damned, unforgivable.
So it doesn’t surprise us that that was Snell’s last moment on a mound in a Rays uniform. Yesterday he signed with the San Diego Padres, because he probably watches Fernando Tatis, Jr., higlights, too. And going from Tampa Bay to Coronado Bay is an upgrade. So good for him.
The Padres also signed Yu Darvish. They matter now.
Booger
Listen for yourself. Watch Adam Schefter attempt to interject, then not find an open window to do so (probably for the best). Our issue is not that Booger is wrong, but that you can also find white quarterbacks/players who’ve failed to realize what an opportunity this is. Injecting race into it lost Booger much of his audience here.
Buffalo Is Now Allen Town
There were more than a few people who criticized the Buffalo Bills for using the 7th overall pick of the 2018 draft on a quarterback from the University of Wyoming. Sure, Josh Allen at 6’5″ an 240 looked like a prototype NFL QB, but who had he played, PAWWWWWL?
By the way, there are still people grudgingly admitting that Josh Allen is okay, but quickly pointing out that he may have the NFL’s best receiver, Stefon Diggs (which this year may be true… and Joe Montana had Jerry Rice). Last night Allen led the Bills to a 38-9 win at New England, figuratively driving a nail into the coffin of the Bill Belichick era while throwing four TD passes. He now has 34 this season, a Bills record.
Buffalo has the AFC’s 2nd-best record at 12-3.
The two QBS who were taken ahead of Allen in 2018 were Heisman winner Baker Mayfield, who has led the Browns to a winning record (and a shot at the playoffs) and Sam Darnold, who has led the Jets to two wins this season (but who may turn out to just be a late bloomer).
By the way, all we want out of the NFL playoffs is Tom Brady (36 TD passes, 4th in the NFL, at 43 years old) and the Buccaneers at Lambeau Field against Aaron Rodgers (44 TD passes, just five picks, at 37 yeas of age) and the Packers. In the snow. In January.
Please, Lord, make this happen. It would be Brady’s first postseason visit to Green Bay and possibly his first snow game since the Tuck Rule Bowl.
Yeah, That’s About Right
Beanstalkers*
*The judges will also accept, “Oh, Grow Up”
Yesterday our friend Dan told us about the company Plenty, an indoor vertical farming company based in San Francisco. As the company’s website proclaims:
“Imagine a 1,500 acre farm. Now, imagine that fitting inside your favorite grocery store, growing up to 350x more. That’s efficient.“
According to the site, Plenty farms use 99% less land than conventional farms (there’s a better way to say that, no?) and also do not use pesticides, GMOs or bleach. It’s all very futuristic and efficient. Maybe we can give all that land back to wildlife (don’t laugh at me…it’s the right idea…even if I’m sure the CEO of Pulte Homes disagrees).
Plenty is not a publicly traded company yet.
I have watched NO NFL (or CFB) this year but do sort of keep track of the standings & I was wondering – since the Patriots have had the worst year (?) since before Brady arrived & of course, let Brady go this year to a team he has led into the Playoffs, how are the Boston sports media & especially Pats fans handling this? Are they screaming on talk radio/podcasts that this is “all Belichick’s fault!” OR keeping mum so as not to anger the future HOF coach? Surely they know that if Belichick leaves, it will be a, er, hot day in January before that team ever again gets anywhere close to the Belichick/Brady era?
And as admitted above, I watched not one game, not even a half of a CFB game this year; just too damn angry & disgusted at the PTB. I didn’t even watch more than 15 minutes total of College Game Day. However, I MAY watch the Playoff & the NCG so I have some questions Grand Boohbah of CFB : is there ANY chance ND will beat Bama? Which team is considered the favorite to win the championship? My fandom of Ohio State mostly ended when Urban left but I would MUCH prefer to see the Buckeyes vs ND in the Final. I’m assuming that is unlikely? Too bad because I can’t stand the Clemson coach & have been sick of Alabama most of the last decade. What are the chances of Bama being BLOWN OUT AGAIN like last year (ah, memories)? Or vice versa?
Finally, have all these players been put in ‘Bubbles’ at their schools since Finals? Possibly all moved into a single dorm & allowed no off-campus activities or, er, meet-ups? Sounds a bit harsh but with COVID raging out of control, how else do you keep these school/TV moneymakers virus free? Every single CFB player that played this year should be given some type of bonus/bond that matures in 5 years or after their playing days are over. And the players in the Playoff should get a 2nd bonus. It’s the LEAST they should all receive for risking their health & possibly their lives for the entertainment & ENRICHMENT of others. And it can all be paid for by clawing back that $35 million those billionaire fuckers, er, I mean frackers got as part of the 1st “stimulus bill”, courtesy of Ted Cruz. Win/win!
Er, that is “Grand Poobah”.
Can’t blame a typo as the P is two rows away from the B. Brain fart I guess.
What are the chances you’ll answer any of my questions? Hopefully they’re higher than the GOP-NAZIs in the Senate approving a $2000 stimulus payment. BOOYAH (that’s with a B). 🙂
What I’ve found most fascinating about Josh Allen (besides his moxie) has been his completion percentage this year. Here’s his history by year.
2011 JV at Firebaugh HS 59.5%
2012 V at Firebaugh HS 50.8%
2013 V at Firebaugh HS 57.4%
2014 Reedley Community College 49.0%
2016 Wyoming 56.0%
2017 Wyoming 56.3%
2018 Buffalo 52.8%
2019 Buffalo 58.8%
2020 Buffalo 68.7%
The above info is from this tweet. https://twitter.com/Marcus_Mosher/status/1341803204397453314
How is this possible? According to this story https://billswire.usatoday.com/2020/12/06/buffalo-bills-josh-allen-digital-mapping-mechanics-jordan-palmer/ He spent a lot of time tweaking his mechanics following a digital mapping this past off-season.
The Bills/Josh Allen might be the best story in the NFL this year.