by John Walters
So Much Winning
When even Fox News takes the time to reiterate on Dec. 8 that the election you lost on Nov. 3, you’ve still lost… well, time to hang it up, Don.
Yesterday the Supreme Court rejected the Trump legal team’s latest argument by a vote of 9-0 in a matter of minutes. Good news, America: not everyone can be bought. Team Trump now stands at 1-50 in post-election legal challenges and as someone wrote on Twitter, the 1972-1973 Philadelphia 76ers are feeling as if they have company.
Is This, Too, COVID-Related? Or Photo-Shopped?
The most glorious photo we’ve seen all year: a humpback whale in New York harbor. Totally looking forward to the day when Homo sapiens no longer runs the planet, aren’t you?
Purple, Hays*
*The judges will also accept, “We’ll Take Manhattan”
Division II Fort Hays State clambered into Bramlage Coliseum last night and took down Kansas State, 81-68 (i.e. it wasn’t even close). This is like Cinderella’s uglier little sister being the belle of the ball.
Anyway, that’s not even the strangest thing in college basketball that’s happened this week (and it’s only Wednesday). Duke lost to Illinois in an empty Cameron Indoor Stadium. It’s not even December 10 and Duke has already lost twice at home this season to non-conference foes (Michigan State last week).
The last time the Blue Devils lost twice at home to non-conference opponents in the same year? 1982.
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And even that is not the strangest college hoops news this week? In a game between Cleveland State and Ohio earlier this week, the Bobcats went on a 40-0 run in the second half. That’s a Division I record for consecutive points unscored upon. The Bobcats scored the final five points of the first half to go into halftime leading 51-25. Then they scored the first 35 of the second frame to go up 86-25. The Vikings missed 17 consecutive shots during the run.
The final was 101-46.
Extra Crispy, Extra Steamy
What’s real and what isn’t? Was there really a humpback whale in New York harbor? Is Bob Costas really on Twitter (his son Keith says it’s an impostor)? Is Mario Lopez really starring in an English-speaking telenovella in which he plays a young and buff Col. Sanders—and who in the good name of Sharknado would not want to see this?
The line from the trailer that rang hollow was that the film will premiere on Lifetime on Dec. 13 (Sunday) at noon. Kind of an odd hour to show a film premiere, no? Well, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
If this is simply a prank, fine. But this is a film we’d all like to see. And, dare we say, this could turn into a franchise of films. How about a back story on Burger King? Wendy?
The Game Is Off
Michigan will not play Ohio State this Saturday. It’s the first time these Big Ten rivals will not meet on the field since 1917, shortly after the U.S. joined The Great War (World War I). The reason? Either the Wolverines had too many positive tests or they “waved the white flag.”
So now what to do about the Buckeyes, who have only played five games thus far? There’s little doubt that Ohio State is one of the nation’s four best teams, but because of existing B1G rules—put in place for the pandemic just a few short months ago—Ohio State cannot play in its own conference championship game (not enough games played) nor can it schedule outside its conference this week.
Here are three teams that do not have a game this weekend, due to COVID-related cancellations, but who themselves are healthy, and their rankings: Ohio State (4), Texas A&M (5) and Cincinnati (8). Would it really be that difficult for those two teams located just 101 miles apart to play?
“Disappointed” is the word you were looking for here, Joel. Not “heartbroken.” Save that word for the 2,900-plus Americans who perished due to COVID-19 just yesterday.
A Messi Farewell?
Did Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo, the two greatest soccer legends of this (or any?) era, just share a soccer pitch for the final time? Messi’s FC Barcelona played Ronaldo’s Juventus squad in a Champions League match. Juventus won 3-0 as Ronaldo scored twice on penalty kicks.
Tesla Update
Who’s the dumbest person you know? I am.
For not following through on my own advice.
A year ago today shares of Tesla (TSLA) were selling for the equivalent of $70 (they were at $350, but that was before the 5 for 1 stock split). This morning, even with a $15 loss in share price, shares of TSLA are selling for $630. That’s a 900% jump.
Now, is TSLA WILDLY overvalued? Of course. Does it feel like a pyramid scheme, simply in terms of the exponential growth of the share price. Soy-tainly. But are people who bought TSLA a year ago and before and never sold happy?
No. They’re euphoric.
There’s only one rule in investing: make money.
Perhaps if the Lifetime movie succeeds, Cinemax will produce an after-dark version featuring Long John Silver.
Cinci has Covid issues, it’s why their game was called off.
Also Texas A&M (read SEC) has no incentive to play the game. Lose and they have no chance to make CFP. Now they can hope ND or Clemson drops out of Top 4 and they slide in while avoiding playing another game.
I’d feel for OSU if the outbreak was every other team, but they cancelled a game because of an outbreak on their team. Had they followed protocols they would have their 6th game.