by John Walters
Exit Pol?
Election day 2020 dawned with the President of the United States having erected a “non-scalable fence” around the perimeter of the White House (I’m sure that made the Secret Service feel gratified for all that they do) and phoning in to Fox News 45 minutes late to whine that they actually air video of the other candidate.
Today is Election Day. Saturday Notre Dame hosts No. 1 Clemson. I’m against everything orange this week (except Tang, of course).
Vote if you have not yet done so. Remember this day for as long as you live. And if your election lasts more than 40 hours, please consult a physician.
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Happy Birthday, Colin Kaepernick!
The former Super Bowl quarterback turns 33 today. Life is funny. There’s still time for some NFL owner to sign Kap but, hey, when you’ve got Ben DiNucci taking snaps for you, who needs a former All-Pro who’s still in his prime?
Stupid Is As Stupid Does
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Potential Scenario: Donald Trump loses, is tossed over the “non-scaleable wall,” and finds himself in a bottomless gorge of debt. But there is one way out of the predicament: write a tell-all book about the last five years of his life.
Be completely candid, and for once, truthful: What really happened to Jeffrey Epstein? What was said during the meeting with Putin? Was there a back-up Melania? What’s going on with Hope Hicks? Everything. In exchange Trump receives immunity, is allowed to be free (but not to hold rallies or appear on Fox News or OAN) and can settle up with his creditors.
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Are we being too hopeful here? Spiking the ball before we cross the plane of the goal line? Yes, we’ll stop. We’ve got little doubt that Biden will win the popular vote and think he’ll probably also take the electoral college. What happens after that is beyond our ken. We’ve got the cynical thoughts and also the hopeful thoughts. Who knows?
But maybe, just maybe, someone has whispered into Don’s ear that he really doesn’t want to spend the next four years being president and that he can still do his pump-up-your-ego rallies without having to live in Washington, D.C. any more. Maybe even his own show on Fox News. That actually might appeal to him more. While Ivanka prepares for a run at the Senate (in Florida) in 2022 or 2024. Who knows?
Vladimir Putin In The Sauna With The Crossbow Is The Strangest Clue Hypothesis Yet
In case you missed it, Russian oligarch Vladimir Marugov, who owned several meat-processing plants and was dubbed “The Sausage King,” was killed by unnamed assailants who entered his home and shot him with a crossbow as he and his wife were seated in their sauna. Apparently they were demanding money and the wife somehow escaped.
I’d say, “Stay tuned,” but it’s Russia and we’ll never learn the truth. Just be thankful we were given these salacious details.
Who’s A Smart Doggy?
I don’t care if this good doggy was trained to do this or not. Even if it was, then give him or her an extra doggy bone for superior acting talent.
Remember Her?
Four years later, it’s important to remember that Hillary Clinton A) is not dead (remember she was gravely ill?) and B) has not been locked up or even accused by anyone outside of a fulminating charlatan of any actual crimes.
There are voters who hate her because she’s dishonest (Is she, though, or is that just how you like to feel? Is she any more so than you or I?). There are voters who hate her because she stayed with her adulterous husband (these same voters have no problem admiring a man who cheated on all three of his wives, which seems, I dunno, rather hypocritical). Mostly, though, voters hate her because she’s a woman who stands up for herself, can out-think them, and whose primary goal in life is not to be sexually pleasing to the male animal.
She wouldn’t have been a perfect president. No one has been. She would’ve stopped this virus in its tracks, though. Literally, I feel safe saying, half as many Americans at most would have died from it. Think about that. People voted for a man whose presence in the Oval Office was likely responsible for the death of at least 100,000 Americans. And that’s a very conservative estimate.
You made the wrong choice, America. You need to be reminded of that.
Holy crap! Abe Froman was killed with a crossbow in Russia? What has this world come to?!
That even 10% of this country would vote again for this NARCISSISTIC SOCIOPATH after experiencing the nonstop lying, the bullying & harassment, the corruption of our Federal agencies, the destruction of our world standing, our economy, our HEALTH & most of all, our unity makes we weep & rant in equal measure.
232,000 DEAD AMERICANS & COUNTING! What the fuck is wrong with these people who would VOTE to see this continue?! The Republican Party MUST be held accountable as THEY are responsible. And by “accountable”, I mean INDICTED, TRIED & CONVICTED. And THROWN IN PRISON. We also must write & pass laws to ensure this can NEVER happen again. Starting 1st with eliminating the Electoral College. 2nd, expand the Supreme Court by at least 3 seats. 3rd, do whatever it takes, an Amendment to the Constitution if necessary, to end voter suppression in ALL states! 4th, arrest Barr & McConnell for failing their oaths of office & for the damage THEY personally inflicted on the country. Then Biden & the Blue Congress can get to work repairing the Federal agencies, our relationships with allies & our world standing.
Of course, 1st we need to get control of the pandemic. The Red states will fight EVERY regulation no matter how many of their own will continue to die. Here’s an idea – let’s “build a WALL” around those states. 😉
Back again… it’s barely 2pm & I’m exhausted already thanks to my mood swings – from out-of-control euphoria to abject terror & rage. How many people do you think will actually vote TODAY? It seems almost 100 million of us voted BEFORE today so it will be fascinating to see if even more records are set. (Early voting records were broken in many if not most states).
BTW jdubs, after weeks of joy reading that AZ was “turning blue”, the past week (until I stopped reading as it was making me crazy) that joy has turned to angst as the “early indicators may have been too optimistic”. ARGH! Your feet are on the ground out there (unless you’re secretly Harry Potter), what do you think? I know you’re not exactly a fan of Nate Silver but just between you & the MH faithful, what’s your prediction for your current ‘home’ state?
As for MY state – more than half the counties will vote for the Sociopath BUT the “Big 5” (the most populous counties by a huge margin) & Baltimore city will vote for Biden in a landslide & thus the state is BLUE. I’m anxious to see if some of our traditionally GOP counties have had enough of the last 4 years of Hell & will vote for Biden too.
Anyhoo, loved the dog video. But I think last week’s doggie group selfie beats it by a, er, whisker. 🙂