Starting Five

1. They are, after all, the “Athletics”… Coco Crisp robs Prince Fielder of a home run — SportsCenter took pains to note that C.C.-Not-Sabathia sprinted a full 77.2 (.2!) feet to make the play [when it would have been better to just say 25 yards because after all, we think in football distances, don’t we? — as the A’s win to remain alive in the ALDS versus Detroit.

Plays such as this explain why we are Coco Loco

2. “We both know what you did.” One of Jerry Sandusky’s accusers interjects in the courtroom as the former Penn State defensive coordinator once again maintained his innocence at his sentencing. Judge John Cleland sentences him to 30 to 60 years. Sandusky would be 98 years old before he is even eligible for parole.

3, Mexican marines (there are Mexican marines? Apparently so) kill Heriberto Lazcano Lazcano, leader of the ruthless Zetas drug cartel (you know, as opposed to those compassionate drug cartels). We diligently avoided the use of the term “kingpin” in the previous sentence. By the way, armed men later stole Lazcano Squared’s body from a funeral home. Seriously.

4. TCU quarterback Casey Pachall, who was suspended from last Saturday’s game after receiving a DUI a couple of nights earlier, will miss the rest of the season. The Purple Frogs QB has dropped out of school (“disenroll” is the term being used) and will check in to a substance abuse treatment facility. Minus Pachall the Horned Frogs lost 37-23 to Iowa State, ending the longest win streak in the FBS at 12 games. Who has the longest such streak now? Answer below.

5. And I’m freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, free fallin’! Well, not yet. Felix Baumgartner, the David Blaine of skydiving, was to attempt his 23-miles-above-the-earth leap yesterday, but high winds forced him to abort the mission. Baumgartner will attempt a relaunch and leap on Thursday, most likely. At top speed, Baumgartner may be traveling as fast as 690 mph.

Reserves

Tom Hanks is Hollywood’s most well-liked guy and here’s just another example of why. By the way, our hope is to send him our dead Macbook and request an interview to ask why he has a urination scene in virtually every one of his films. A League of Their Own, Castaway, Forrest Gump and The Green Mile, off the top of our head (no pun intended… okay, well maybe slightly intended), all have whizz scenes.

That sweet, sweet feeling of relief

Remember our item on A-Rod yesterday? Of course you do. Anwyay, SportsCenter flashed a graphic last night that revealed that the Yanks’ $29 million third baseman has struck out more times to end a game (four) in the postseason than anyone in MLB history. Yanks host the Orioles tonight in Game 3 of the ALDS.

South Carolina, at 10 games, has the longest current win streak in the FBS, although it’ll certainly face a crucible in the next two weeks as the Gamecocks visit Death Valley and The Swamp. LSU’s last defeat in Baton Rouge occurred exactly three years ago today, a 13-3 defeat to Florida.

SI’s Andy Staples goes all Big 12 to the N.C. State’s Mike Gundy and apologizes for insulting the Wolfpack and Carter-Finley Stadium.

Realizing what Steve Spurrier’s former school (Florida) and current school (South Carolina), Urban Meyer’s former school (Florida) and current school (Ohio State), and Brian Kelly’s former school (Cincinnati) and current school (Notre Dame), all have in common: They have yet to lose this season.

We covered the Mount Marathon tragedy as extensively as possible from some 4,000 miles away when it took place last July. Realizing that it was only a matter of time before Outside devoted an extended feature on it.

The base of Mount Marathon, in Seward, Alaska…

…and the summit.

This is definitely Barney Stinson’s favorite athlete.

Speaking of marathons, Kenya has enacted a policy in which it will forbid any marathoner who wants to run Rio in 2016 from competing in a marathon in the six months prior to those Olympics. Good luck with that, Kenya. After all, marathons are paychecks to those runners.

Tobias Funke married? Yes, David Cross, 48, wed Amber Tamblyn, 29, (“The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants”). Yo La Tengo was the wedding band. Hipster, so hipster.