Starting Five

Trump Was Right: I AM Tired Of All This Winning

Yesterday, at a marathon press conference that we missed, President Donald Trump announced that a “very, very painful two weeks” were ahead (it’s been an unbearable three-plus years already, Don, but whatevs) and then had his scientists warn that a conservative estimate of U.S. deaths was anywhere between 100,000 to 240,000. So, more than the Vietnam conflict and Korean wars combined.

By the way, how long until everyone begins referring to it as “the 2020 Virus?”

Donald Trump alone could not have prevented the 2020 Virus from raining death on Americans. But swift actions, advanced by so many people (such as Gov. Jay Inslee of Washington) probably would have cut the number at least in half. “He’ll kill us all” was not quite accurate (we hope) but he killed more than a professional would have is true beyond a doubt.

Cuomo Confined To Domo

CNN prime time anchor Chris Cuomo, younger brother of New York governor Andrew Cuomo, announces that he has tested positive for the coronavirus. He’ll be, at least for now, broadcasting from home. Cuomo, 49, obviously did this to steal viewers away from Sean Hannity. It’s a hoax.

Long Live Mock

We check the ESPN.com website every couple of days sort of for curiosity’s sake. It seems as if they’ve fixated on simply updating mock drafts every few days between Mel and McShay. Worse, they’re still refusing to unlock these selections unless you’re an ESPN Insider. While other publications, such as The New York Times, have made portions of their content free during this pandemic, Norby is still locking readers out.

Bad move. ESPN.com doesn’t have any pertinent content to provide (proof? I’m not making this up, Kevin Maas is on ESPN’s home page this morning; will this poor man never find peace?) because nothing is actually happening in the sports world. Besides the draft later this month. You’d think they’d be smart enough to give all visitors this content for free right now, if for no other reason than as a good faith gesture.

Tiger King Kong

You’re looking at the breakout star of the pandemic. On your right. That’s Joe Exotic, born Joseph Schreibvogel, who claimed to be the most prolific breeder of tigers in the U.S.A. We’ll admit, we have not seen the doc yet, but The Tiger King sure seems to be getting mentioned a lot. If you’ve watched it, feel free to provide a review below.

One More Reason I Fled Twitter

In the past two weeks I’ve found myself getting angry when people (often strangers I’ve never met) treat the pandemic as if it’s a football game where we’re trailing by two touchdowns and we can still win. It’s not that. It’s a disease that’s going to kill 100’s of thousands, perhaps millions, of people worldwide, thus altering the lives of themselves (obviously) and everyone who knew them. Examples:

–Let’s begin with the President, who only two days ago promised “a great victory” in the fight against the 2020 Virus. When your big brother pins you to the floor, thumps you in the chest 100 times and then lets a booger-filled loogie drop onto your face and then and only then gets off you, you don’t exactly get to refer to that as a victory.

–The Boston Globe writer who noted that, yes, this coronavirus seems awful and all, but he really would love to see the Boston Celtics and the NBA return soon. At the time the American death toll was probably still in the double digits and I tweeted something nasty about never reading him again, after which Trenni Kusnierek (a wonderful lady, Boston radio person, whom I’ve never actually met), who had posted the story on Twitter, told me to “Read it first before you behave like an ass (I had).” Sorry, it’s just kind of offensive. It’s like some German journalist writing in 1939 (Tell me he’s not going to make a Holocaust reference; he is, isn’t he? Oh well, at least it’s not Twitter) that while he appreciates the human tragedy that is the Holocaust, what he really misses is that he just can’t find a good schmear.

–Listening to a right-wing radio broadcast (don’t ask) yesterday and hearing the host note that he’s taking the president’s cue and he’s going to “focus on being positive.” The f***ing gaslighters who support Trump. I don’t remember any of these folks “focusing on the positive” when Obama was president, even though there was plenty to be positive about. But now, knowing there is absolutely no defense for the actions that their White Supremacist In Chief has taken the past month, they try out the tactic of calling anyone who gives the straight dope on the virus a Debbie Downer. They are truly without shame.

–Joe Kernen, on CNBC just this morning (and another MAGA pom pom waver), noting how America has the greatest minds and necessity is the mother of invention and how “I just know that we’re going to come out of this stronger.” Again, a tacit lack of acknowledgement of what’s actually taking place. Central Park has turned into a field hospital. A populace the size of Providence, R.I. (that’s a highly conservative estimate) is just going to vanish.

Yeah, sure, no one wants to be around a downer all day long. But you can’t help but feel that people either simply don’t grasp the gravity of what’s taking place, having lived so long inside their sports-entertainment-self gratification cocoon, or that they do but they’re averse to acknowledging it because they don’t want to do a thing to slow the momentum of this presidency. Can you imagine what Joe Kernen would be saying right now if President Obama had stood up in front of the country and announced that 240,000 Americans will die this year of a disease? I doubt he’d be talking the way he is talking right now (it almost makes me want to rejoin Twitter simply to make that point). But I’ll hold off.

Kurosawa Double Feature

Tonight, TCM asks us to forgo Netflix and Amazon Prime and to perhaps edjumicate ourselves in film history. Japanese director Akira Kurosawa’s two masterpieces, Seven Samurai (at 8 p.m. EDT) an Rashomon (11:45 p.m. … as if you’ve got to get up for work) air this evening.

We’ve only seen the latter, so we’ll attempt to catch the former, from 1954. Wily Yanks would remake the film six years later as a Western, The Magnificent Seven, which starred Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, Yul Brynner and James Coburn. So why can’t I just watch The Magnificent Seven, you ask, and I don’t have a good answer for that. Except that now you’ll know what Barenaked Ladies are talking about in that “One Week” song of theirs.