STARTING FIVE

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Tweet Me Right

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Starting Five

Vernal Viral

The coronavirus just cannot get out of the news. Thanks to the inter webs and a pathologically dishonest White House, the pathogen is not only free to spread but we can literally update ourselves on the human cost by the minute.

The illness is spreading —now officially in 34 states and if we only had enough testing kits, probably in all 50—while the Trump administration continues to insist we appreciate that their response has been “perfect.” And the markets are about to open 1,300.

This is exactly the type of worldwide phenomenon Bowie was referring to

By the way, 11 years ago tomorrow Mark Haines of CNBC famously called the “bottom” for the market in the sub-prime mortage crisis. Not today, though. Not for this crisis. Not today.

The Orwellian White House

Human life, yeah, that’s kind of a big deal. But what’s a much bigger deal at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is to maintain the fiction that 1) the virus is no big deal and that 2) they’re on top of it. How many deaths is it going to take for President Trump to be able to look in the mirror and acknowledge that his arrogance at the outset of this outbreak only caused a lot more damage?

And what’s this all about? Is the president really this insecure? (Of course he is.)

This one will definitely be included in the Ken Burns’ 20-part series on the Trump presidency:

Kate And Liz On SNL

and…

For Goodness’ Snake

There were four XFL games this weekend, but the snapshot of the weekend is the above: fans in standing-room-only section for the D.C. Defenders spent the entire game fashioning a “beer snake” out of empties. By game’s end, the beer snake almost extended to the top row of the section. At one point league commissioner Oliver Luck even contributed a cup of his own.

The best moment came early in the second half as the brewery boa grew and a man stood on top of a railing and led the section in cheers of “U-S-A! U-S-A!” More fodder for the dystopian documentary.

Oil Plunges

Is it just me or does something about this photo seem unnatural, toxic and dystopian?

So Saudi Arabia and Russia could not come to an agreement on how to reduce production — i.e., to create an artificial scarcity of oil in order to maintain high prices— because the Russians would not agree to play nice. Or in this case, filthy.

So the Saudis announced that they were going to ramp up production, which means that oil prices are dropping precipitously, like 31%. Wait. Isn’t this good news for your family’s upcoming pilgrimage to Wally World?

I dunno. It sounds as if the people who traffic in oil futures and treasuries and 10-year yields and the type of stuff that we don’t quite understand (“Just buy Bitcoin! And Tesla! And Inovio!”) are concerned. We’ll have more info as soon as someone explains it all to us.

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