Starting Five

1. Atlanta Falcons move to 5-0, may have NFL’s MVP in Matt Ryan, but the story is that RG3 suffers a concussion.

2. The first three letters in “carnage” are C-A-R, a word that most of the fans who were at Talladega yesterday are able to spell (Did someone just take a cheap shot at the South?). Who won? Who cares! There was a pileup.

The beautiful South

3. Venezuela re-elects Hugo Chavez president for a third term, hence the nickname “El Bloomberg.”

4. Drew Brees breaks’ Johnny Unitas’ record for touchdown throws in consecutive games by connecting with Devery Henderson on a 40-yarder to run streak to 48 games. The Saints also won their first game in a row.

5. Indianapolis distributes “CHUCKSTRONG” T-shirts (was the University of Louisville football coach upset by this?) in honor of coach Chuck Pagano, who is battling leukemia. The Colts then erased an 18-point deficit against the Green Bay Endorsers (Rodgers, Raji, Matthews and Greg Jennings all appeared in TV ads yesterday) to win, 30-27.

Reserves

We love when Stuart Scott intros a piece the way he did El Clasico on last night’s SportsCenter. It’s like, Hey, I just Googled “Spain and Soccer” two hours ago but now I’m going to speak condescendingly, and pedantically, to you about it. Anyway, FC Barcelona and Real Madrid played to a 2-2 draw, with all four goals coming from the world’s two premier players, Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo.

Eric Winston is not happy with you, Kansas City. And he’s six-foot-seven, 317 pounds. Is it just us or does Winston speak like a Shakespearian thespian?

The top nine teams in the Football Bowl Subdivision (FBS) in terms of Turnover Margin are a combined 44-2. So, yes, there is a correlation and turnovers are not mere chance occurrences.

Red Grange Award Update (If you were not with us a month ago, we have re-dubbed [J-Dubbed?] the Heisman as the Red Grange Award, since his play in 1924 embodies the spirit of the award far better than that of a coach who, among other things, is known for putting on a 222-0 beatdown on an opponent [Chip Kelly for the Heisman!]). Our top three: Geno Smith, West Virginia; Manti Te’o, Notre Dame; Collin Klein, Kansas State.

Rugby player Paul Wood is about one-half as woody today.

Is this the offending play?

Josh Reddick of the A-Men strikes out six times in his first seven ALDS at-bats, then hits a go-ahead home run in the eighth inning of Game 2 in Detroit. Alas, Oakland lost ruining what would have been a terrific gamer.

If there were a Heisman for plays made inside the five-yard line, Bell Dozer would own it. In fact, we should just dub this the Bell Dozer Award. Seventeen rushes –most inside the 10-yard line– and seven passes thus far this season.

Blake Bell, Belldozin’

Granted, we were exhausted when we tuned in to the 1 a.m. SportsCenter earlier today, but we were not tipsy. And so we are quite sure that we saw not one but two 30-second spots (slickly produced, we should add) for AshleyMadison.com. You probably know that the site bills itself as a dating service for those who are already in a relationship. As far as we know, these ads are local buys, so ESPN has no control over them.

Glenn Guilbeau’s AP ballot, submitted without comment.

It’s this bad in Greece: they’re beginning to sell off their islands. Greece is now the Curt Schilling of sovereign states. And to think that this is the bedrock of western civilization. How long until we ponder selling off Maui?

Lake Bell, belle dozin’

More Greece: We are reminded of the truly brilliant Colin Quinn show, “Long Story Short”, parts of which we’ll show you here. “When Socrates died, his last words were, ‘I know now that I know nothing.’ Kind of a dick move, right?”

Friend of MH Stewart Mandel’s BCS Bowl projections for the Rose: “(Vacated) vs. USC.” Now that’s funny. Plus, Stew-pac is a Northwestern alum and it sort of broke his heart a little to watch the Purple Kitties cough up an 11-point lead in Happy Valley last Saturday.

How much has passing eclipsed rushing in college football  (in the ’70s and ’80s, running backs were the game’s rock stars; just look at the Heisman list from that era)? The nation’s  leader in passing efficiency is the frontrunner (frontpasser?) for the Heisman. The nation’s leading rusher, who has a trio of 200-yard games this season, is Air Force’s Cody Getz, a five-foot-seven dynamo who is also virtually unknown. On Saturday Getz rushed for 204 yards in an overtime loss to Navy, then flew home to Georgia to attend the funeral of former high school and college teammate Devin Durden, who died in a motorcycle accident (that sound you heard was Tom Rinaldi’s ears pricking up).

Little Big Man on Campus (or, in his case, on base): Air Force’s Cody Getz

Nothing catches the eye of a cable –or network= news producer like the AP slug “Wedding Brawl“.