by John Walters
Starting Five
What Is, ‘Ken Do?’
The OG of Jeopardy, Ken Jennings, validated his status as the show’s GOAT last night. Jennings defeated the two other greatest champions in the show’s history, defeating James Holzhauer and Brad Rutter with three victories in four matches in this ultimate tournament of champions (the tourney could have gone a max seven matches if everyone had won two apiece after the first six: first man to three won).
The tourney, which was also a celebration of the career of host Alex Trebek, netted Jennings $1 million and the other two $250,000. Jennings pulled away with a Final Jeopardy win in Game 2 by correctly answering this question: “He has 272 speeches, the most of any non-title character in a Shakespeare tragedy.”
Answer: Who is Iago?
I don’t even remember him from Shakespeare In Love, but whatevs.
Coming Apart At The Seams
So two of the last three World Series champions cheated and the common denominator is Alex Cora. Lifetime ban, anyone? I’m for it.
If you come at me with “How is this different from steroids?”, I’ll tell you exactly how. First, yes, they are both cheating. But the differences are dramatic: 1) this is being done not by players but by a coach 2) It’s pre-meditated and it’s sophisticated. The more planning a malevolent act requires, the more time someone has a chance to reconsider the consequences of his actions, 3) This was done systematically over the course of seasons all the way deep into the playoffs.
I’m all for not allowing confirmed steroids users into the HOF. They cheated, too. But this is more pernicious. The Astros and Red Sox, winners of the 2017 and 2018 World Series, respectively, should be given the maximum punishment a franchise can be.
And Alex Cora should never be allowed to work in Major League Baseball again.
Tommy Boy!
Once upon a time there was a three-star quarterback from the John Hughes-ian Chicago suburb of Lake Forest, an NFL coach’s son, whom Notre Dame offered a scholarship to as an insurance policy.
Then he won a bunch of games as the team’s starter. Then he became an assistant coach. Then yesterday Tommy, er Tom, Rees, was promoted to offensive coordinator at the age of 30. The Fighting Irish now have their very own Lincoln Riley/Kliff Kingsbury/Joe Brady type.
What is telling is when you hear established and respected voices from within the program extol Rees so unreservedly. Here’s former offensive guard Quenton Nelson, the best player of the Brian Kelly era:
And this is Michael Bartsch, who spent 10 or so years in South Bend as the school’s football SID and is now with the Pittsburgh Steelers:
This works out well for senior quarterback Ian Book, who has a strong kinship with Rees. We’ll see how it works going forward. The Irish are going to miss super stud receivers Chase Claypool and Cole Kmet (a tight end), who should be second- and first-rounders, respectively.
How Do You Solve A Problem Like Marie, Uh?
Today’s White House-related scandal, or at the one atop the menu, is news that former U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine Marie Yovanovitch, the fly in the ointment to Donald Trump’s Hunter Biden scheme because she’s actually honest, was being trailed and surveilled white at work in Kiev.
By whom, you might ask? By Americans.
Texts turned over to House investigators by Lev Parnas, Giulaini’s Eastern bloc stooge (or is it the other way around?) suggest that Republican Congressional candidate Robert Hyde was monitoring her movements in Kiev, berating her presence, and reporting back to Parnas.
Meanwhile, is there anyone involved in this mess with whom Parnas did not pose for a photo at one point?
Yovanovitch has clearly risen from fired Ambassador to feminine role model to Best Picture Oscar waiting to happen as soon as someone buys the rights to the book she needs to write. We see either Frances McDormand or a toned-down Julianne Moore in the title role, with flashback-to-youth scenes going to Emma Stone. Although if they cast Eddie Redmayne, they’ll probably have a better chance of winning the Oscar.
Five Films: 1994
Find us a stronger year for films at the top in the past 50. Maybe 1976. Maybe.
- The Shawshank Redemption: This adaption of a Stephen King serial was overshadowed by the year’s more buzz-worthy films at the time of its release, but it stands the test of time. Oddly, there’s not one line of dialogue from a female throughout. Has anyone ever traveled directly from Maine to Zihuatanejo? 2. Pulp Fiction: Quentin Tarantino broke all the rules of story-telling and it worked. Like Catch-22, the story is not linear or in chronological order. Also, notice how he sets up numerous Hollywood tropes (don’t go back for the watch!) and then resolves them in atypical ways. A classic. 3. Forrest Gump: Incredibly hokey in so many ways, and yet in the final 20 minutes or so you feel it tugging on your heartstrings, wherever those are located. I’m not a smart man, Jen-nee, but I do know… 4. Four Weddings And A Funeral: Hugh Grant was an unknown over here when this was released, but he did not remain that way for long. Utterly charming love story, with good use of the term “skulking.” Kristin Scott-Thomas is wonderful. Yes, Andie McDowell was the love interest in two of our favorite films from the early Nineties, but I’m still quite sure a mannequin would have stood in just as well. 5. Hoop Dreams: Another film released this year was titled Reality Bites. They could have used that title for this stunning doc about inner-city high school basketball stardom.
MLB not going to fine, discipline players? They knew the signals, in on it too. There needs to be accountability on that end too.