by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Surfers in California were in for the view of a lifetime when they went out to catch some waves—and encountered a huge whale weaving through the water below. https://t.co/jy48tJEKtO pic.twitter.com/X0RVLdcVTn

— ABC News (@ABC) November 17, 2019

To think of how much Michael Bay would have spent to get this as the opening shot of a movie…

Starting Five

Colin’s Cowed Herd

We’re not going to delve into all of the details of Colin Kaepernick’s Saturday workout in Atlanta. We do find it ironic that in a city where les than two centuries ago black men were put on stage and auctioned off to the highest bidder that a man was told by the NFL to be at a certain place at a certain time, and given all of two hours to decide whether or not that suited him (just four days before the stated event), and that still he showed up only to be presented with a waiver to be signed that would grant the league indemnity against him should he file any future lawsuit concerning collusion.

It’s difficult not to think that this is the only reason the NFL went ahead with this charade.

A couple of other reasons: 1. Roger Goodell’s new business partner, Shawn Carter (you may know him as Jay-Z) was feeling push back from the community about being a sellout, which he is, so he foolishly thought that this dog-and-pony show would take the heat off. 2. A few teams may actually be interested in Kaepernick but they were afraid, as individual franchises, as to how their fan bases would react, so they reasoned that there’s strength in numbers. If the entire league attends a Kaepernick workout, then no one franchise is more woke than the others.

Kap moved the workout from the Falcons facility to a high school field when he realized the NFL wasn’t going to give media the access he wanted them to have, including video footage. He doesn’t trust them. And why should he? And they don’t trust that the man who wears a Kunta Kinte T-shirt (“Roots,” kids; look it up) to an open tryout is going to be a good Stepin Fetchit. Which he won’t.

I don’t think Kap will ever appear in another NFL game. But he will be remembered long after most current players are dead and buried.

Seems Like Old Times

Yes, the NBA season is not even a month old yet, but if you look at the standings you’ll note that the Boston Celtics (10-2) and Los Angeles Lakers (11-2) have the best records in the East and West, respectively. If Commissioner Silver had known it was gonna be like this, he’d have scheduled these two to meet on Christmas day.

Oh, by the way, guess who has the NBA’s worst record (and it’s about to get even worse with the injury to D’Angelo Russell)? That’s right, Susie B., the Golden State Warriors (2-12).

Finally, we’ll note that we’re all still awaiting for the debut of the most anticipated player in years, Zion Williamson.

Google Flat-Earth

We had to laugh at this CNN headline this morning: “The flat-Earth conspiracy is spreading around the globe.” Of course, if the Earth were actually flat, wouldn’t it be spreading across the globe?

I’m actually thankful for flat-Earthers. They remind me that as dumb as you think human beings might be, many are actually far dumber. Most of us fail to appreciate just how little sense many human beings have: if they can’t see it with their own eyes, they simply don’t believe it (unless it has to do with religion, and then they’ll believe anything).

That’s My Domer!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgnourxqwYY

We’ll leave aside the argument as to whether Indianapolis Colt (and former Notre Dame) guard Quenton Nelson, moonlighting as a fullback, actually scored a touchdown here. The keg stand end zone celebration is epic. It’s really the only thing the NFL does better than college football, allow celebrations of this type.

Five Films: 1957

1. The Bridge On The River Kwai The first of David Lean’s three epic masterpieces, and of the three, the tightest story from beginning to end. Sir Alec Guinness and William Holden are brilliant in the tale of a Japanese POW camp in Burma (or about) populated with British soldiers where the mission is to build a bridge only to blow it up. “Madness!” Just like war. Deserving winner of the Best Picture Oscar 2. An Affair To Remember The best opening banter scene in film-dom (or at least right up there with The Thin Man series) and we’ve had a crush on Deborah Kerr from the first time we saw it. 3. 12 Angry Men A study in the power of persuasion and reason, of using humility and intellect to sway the minds of men, starring Henry Fonda. The first of two films on today’s list that is a must-see for any student of the political landscape of the past four years. 4. Sweet Smell Of Success Burt Lancaster and Tony Curtis star in a film about (yet another) sleazy journalist. 5. A Face In The Crowd Starring Andy Griffith as a country bumpkin with charisma and a minister’s power of rhetoric who is transformed into a media celebrity and then a demagogue. One envisions a young Donald Trump taking notes. Also starring a young Lee Remick, who in those days was a carnal princess 5.

Note: One of my favorite things about poring over annual film lists for this item is discovering connections to things I never knew. For example, in 1957 there was a film titled What’s Opera, Doc? and now I’m wondering what came first, this or the Bugs Bunny catchphrase (“What’s up, Doc?”). Also, this is the year that gave us Zero Hour, starring Dana Andrews, which is basically the playing-it-straight template for the 1980 comedy classic Airplane!

Music 101

Sweetness

The catalog of Mesa, Arizona’s, Jimmy Eat World is not very deep, but the songs at the surface are incredible. The energy and angst of youth personified. The best Phoenix area-based band this side of Gin Blossoms and Roger Clyne.

Remote Patrol

The Crown

Season 3, Netflix

We have yet to view it, but we’re including this as a public service to Phyllis, who loves the show. Pardon me for a moment (Mom, it’s a different actress playing Queen Elizabeth this season, but you may recall her from the series Broadchurch and from that dreadful film I took you to see last Christmas about the weird queen from another era; remember, you have the Netflix on your lap top and the password is already entered; just click; enjoy!)