by John Walters
Tweet Me Right
Starting Five
Sub-2:00
In Vienna, Olympic marathon gold medalist Eliud Kipchoge runs the time above to become the first human to break the 2-hour mark for a marathon, a.k.a. 26.2 miles. However, and it is a big however, the Kenyan’s time will not be officially recognized as he ran with a rotating wave of pacesetters in a race whose sole reason for happening was to break the 2-hour mark.
Kipchoge had run a similar race two years earlier in Italy, on a track, and missed the two-hour mark by 25 seconds. It’s an asterisk record.
Meanwhile In Chicago
In Sunday’s Chicago Marathon, an actual race, Kipchoge’s countrywoman Brigid Kosgei ran a 2:14:04, under legitimate conditions, to set a new world record for women in the 26.2-mile event by more than one minute. Kosgei, 25, broke Paula Radcliffe’s 16 year-old record by 81 seconds.
Meanwhile, two of banned coach Alberto Salazar’s runners—Galen Rupp and female Jordan Hasay—dropped out in the midst of running the Chicago Marathon. Both ran for the Nike Oregon Project, which Salazar headed and which over the weekend Nike announced that it is disbanding. Mo Farah, arguably the greatest runner in Salazar’s stable, finished in eighth place, running the slowest marathon of his career.
Shep Quits
Longtime Fox News anchor Shepherd Smith abruptly announced that he was leaving the network at the end of his Friday afternoon broadcast. No one quite knows for sure the reasons behind Smith’s exodus, but no on-air talent at Fox has been more critical of Donald Trump since he took office.
For a few years now, this Shepherd has been more of a lone wolf at Fox, not only sparring with the president but also with the network’s sunshine boy, Sean Hannity. Guess he finally got sick of it.
Perfect Parody From SNL
Actor David Harbour from Stranger Things was the host on SNL this week and you could tell that the cast loved him. Harbour, a Shakespearian actor with quite the zest for performing, could easily be a regular on the show. One of the best bits he was involved was this tone-perfect parody of the Joker trailer. Watch.
Two more observations from Saturday: 1) Pete Davidson, above, looks, well, a little strung out. You keep thinking he’s going to go Chris Farley before his 28th birthday (he’s 25) and 2) Bowen Yang, the show’s first Asian cast member, is a keeper. Not sure if he’s a star in the making, but he’s definitely going to be a workhorse in the rotation.
Moose News
In honor of one of MH’s oldest readers, we present this update on her namesake in Wyoming. It’s mating season for moose and I guess there’s a good happy hour at this strip mall. Do not order the Moscow Mule.
Explain to me how the use of “pacesetters” in distance running events (both on & off the track) are NOT PERFORMANCE ENHANCING? The 1st time I saw this TRAVESTY in a televised race on the track many years ago, I could NOT BELIEVE IT & still don’t. That it is constantly used in non-championship races is an abomination to all sport. Heck, using blood bags to give yourself a “boost” in an endurance event is less egregious!
Meanwhile, the REAL amazing athletic feats last week were performed by Simone Biles at the Gymnastics World Championships held it Stuttgart, Germany. Not only did Simone lead our American women’s team to its 5th consecutive Team championship, but she took Golds in the All-Around (by a historical point differential*), the Vault, the Balance Beam, & the Floor Exercise, altogether, that’s 5, count ’em FIVE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP golds & she’s now the most decorated gymnast, male or female of ALL TIME with 25 medals, 19 of them gold. She’s the Michael Phelps, the LeBron/Jordan of gymnastics, the GREATEST OF ALL TIME. She is BETTER than she was in Rio, better than she’s ever been at what used to be considered “ancient” in women’s gymnastics – age 22, & I pinch myself that we’ve been SO LUCKY to able to watch her compete the past 7 years & constantly push the envelope in her sport. The USA has produced some fabulous female gymnasts since Mary Lou in 1984, but NO ONE in history compares to Simone Biles. She doesn’t just do MUCH more difficult skills than everyone else, she performs them at a higher level (both figuratively & literally if you see how much HIGHER she flies!). She will probably retire next year after the Tokyo Olympics & EVERYONE who does not watch Simone Biles compete EVERY chance they get will regret it (like being GIFTED tickets to see LeBron or Jordan compete in person in their primes & blew it off & now lie that they saw them because to admit the truth reveals one’s idiocy). She truly is a ONCE in a lifetime athlete.
* About that point differential in the All-Around competition : Simone won by 2.1 points. For those who don’t grasp what this means, consider this a 50 point beatdown in a team sport. To further elucidate – the point spread between the 2nd place girl and the 11TH, yes, ELEVENTH, was also 2.1.