by John Walters
Tweet Me Right
Mooch! You figured it out! Look at you. Good boy.
Starting Five
Greenland Day
Of all the idiotic ideas Donald Trump has had before and after becoming president, this is NOT one of them. Of course the USA should purchase Greenland if the Danes put it up for sale. What with climate change and all Greenland will be Charleston in a few decades.
What we don’t understand is why the White House would bother to purchase it. Why not simply claim that ISIS has set up a base there and then deploy our military there for an indefinite period of time.
It Was Almost Over, Dale (Jr.)
On a sunny afternoon at the Elizabethton, Tenn., airport, Dale Jr.’s plane ran past the end of the runway and crashed through a retaining fence. Dale Jr., his wife, daughter and (most importantly) a dog, plus two pilots, were able to escape before the plane caught fire. There was retaining fence wrapped around parts of the plane, but lucky for Junior the cabin door was not restricted. Or else the Earnhardts would have been toast. Literally.
Now, as to how another airplane was able to bump Dale’s plane from behind, we still don’t understand. But that’s flyin’.
Bryce Capades
Bryce Harper may not be as good of a day-to-day player as Mike Trout (breaking: nobody is), but he can still do this. The Phillies entered the 9th inning against the Cubs down 5-1. Then two runs scored and the bases were loaded with one out when Harper came to the plate. That ball was last seen drifting past Jupiter.
Meanwhile, Harper’s grand slam capped a three-game sweep of the Cubs for the Phils.
Must We Revise Rule No. 1?
Frequent readers of this site are familiar with Rule No. 1: Gravity always wins. And then some skydiver chick in Quebec falls 5,000 feet when her parachute fails to open, survives, and compels us to rethink our entire existence.
Gravity almost always wins?
The 30 year-old female fell into a wooded area and suffered multiple fractures, including to vertebrae, but apparently her life is not in danger. No word on any paralysis.
This is the fastest and most precipitous anything has fallen in the past week that was not a result of an inverted yield curve.
$20 Bet
It began about 10 years ago. Former Fox Sports reporter and ABC Monday Night Football sideline reporter Lisa Guerrero was at a charity golf event with her husband, former MLB pitcher Scott Erickson. The event, held in Kentucky, was overpopulated with country music types.
On the first night, filled with courage and perhaps a libation or two, Guerrero opined that it couldn’t be that hard to write a country music song (and this was long before Lady Ga Ga did so in A Star Is Born). That boast prompted a bunch of “little darlin'” responses but one man bet her $20 that she could not do so.
The next day, Guerrero sat down and wrote a country music song. The title: “Everybody Loves A Comeback.” She turned in the lyrics to the man (she forgets his name), who read them, did not quite believe she’d written the song, and then reached into his pocket and pulled out a Jackson.
Fast forward to this morning: country music artist Keith Burns has recorded the song and legendary Nashville producer James Stroud (credited with discovering Taylor Swift, among other achievements) has produced it. “Everybody Loves A Comeback” is out, under the Sony Music label, as of this morning.
Guerrero, who has a regular gig as an investigative reporter on Inside Edition (everybody really does love a comeback) is one of three backup singers on the song, along with sisters and budding artists Presley and Taylor.
*****
Yesterday. Phyllis phones. “I’m at church. Today is the feast of the Assumption.” Well, of course, Mom, everybody knows that!
“And tomorrow,” she says, “is the anniversary of the beginning of Medium Happy.” Phyllis never fails to astound us. Today is our 7th birthday. All the wealth and fame, sure, but we promise to remain humble.
LISA Guerrero
Happy Birthday, MH!
For just under a third of my life, I’ve been coming to this blog daily for insight & amusement (and, okay, Susie B.’s temper tantrums) on all things World.
Thanks for keeping the gears going, JW! It is always admirable to see someone work on their craft everyday, regardless of any economic rewards. I have found great joy in coming here everyday for the last seven years and hope you still find enjoyment in writing it.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
HAAA-PY AN-NI-VERS-A-RY!
I tried to cut & paste the Flintstones rendition here (from youtube) & can’t seem to get it done (sigh) so I guess you’ll just have to click over there yourself. 🙂 So, 7 years old today! You wear it well. 🙂 This year’s official anny gift is either wool or copper. Well heck, that 1st one is too damn hot for August, but since we get to read your thoughts on a daily basis, a PENNY seems perfect. Ok, ok, a couple rolls of pennies at least. 🙂 Thanks again, jdubs!
Susie B,
I tried to put that Flintstones video on site this a.m. and had same problem. YouTube seems to have an attitude of late.
I read the “Mooch” piece & the best thing in there is the following spot-on assessment of The Sociopath :
“He is so narcissistic, he doesn’t see people as people. He sees them as objects in his field of vision…and by the way, if you & I were in his field of vision & he had a cold & the two of us had to be DIE for him to get a Kleenex, you’re fucking dead. I mean there’s no chance. You understand that, right?”
YES! From the very 1ST day I read about that piece of shit back in the 80s & then saw him on TV, that is EXACTLY what I deduced & could not understand why EVERYONE did not see this truth too.
Anyhoo, I did laugh at this still trumpet-blowing Republican talking about the blue-collar folks “left out” because “we hollowed out the manufacturing & we allowed these asymmetric trade deals which helped the global system to hurt a large percentage of people in our own country”. LOL! LOL! WHO moved the manufacturing OUT of this country in the freakin 1st place? REPUBLICAN OWNED BIG BUSINESS! Who then made a shit-load of profit & certainly did not share those profits with their employees OR shareholders! No, that’s when the CEO pay started ESCALATING to hundreds of times that of their workers. The idea that REPUBLICANS can SAVE these industries & those folks now is an even bigger LIE than when these companies & their paid-for mouthpieces in Congress trotted out the ‘trickle-down” theory. My god, the GOP has NO SHAME.
The fact that there are SLOOOOWLY an increasing amount of Republicans who had helped get that “HUMAN GARBAGE” elected &/or worked for him that are FINALLY NOW hopping off the crazy train & pointing fingers is just so damn expected. RATS off the sinkin’ ship. Only in this case, the RATS helped build the ship. A ship of fools who were also power-ravenous, greedy SOBs.
Also, I think the Mooch is wrong about the Sociopath dropping out of the next election. ONLY when the authorities come to remove him, in cuffs if necessary will he leave that position. Willingly give up that power? LOL! He is a delusional egomaniac & even AFTER he suffers the worst, humiliating defeat in a US Presidential election (which he will deny, say it was rigged/fixed by the ‘fake-news media’ &/or ‘deep-state’), he will ONLY leave when forced. Literally forced.
Happy 7th Anniversary. Lucky for us.
Will the judges accept “Seventh Year Stretch”?
Truly admire the tenacity, wit and fortitude required to produce commentary that enriches our intellect and makes us giggle. Sincere gratitude!
Thanks for all the hard work, Walker! And on top of all that other hard work, no less.
Let’s start a Walker! & SusieB ticket for 2020 election. DT