by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

I say this to the President, and his defenders in Congress:

You may think it’s okay how Trump and his associates interacted with Russians during the campaign.

I don’t.

I think it’s immoral. I think it’s unethical. I think it’s unpatriotic. And yes, I think it’s corrupt. pic.twitter.com/nTdgRVfssQ

— Adam Schiff (@RepAdamSchiff) March 28, 2019

Enjoyed this, but why you gotta be poaching lyrics from The Cars to make your point?

Starting Five

Ky Is Their Guy

With the No. 1 overall pick in next month’s NFL draft, the Arizona Cardinals will select Oklahoma quarterback Kyler Murray.

Cut it. Print it. Next scene.

We’re not saying why we think they should or will, or enumerating those reasons (e.g, this is a team that faces Russell Wilson and the Seahawks twice per season), we are just flat-out telling you that the Cardinals are going to cut their one-year losses with Josh Rosen and move on to the reigning Heisman Trophy winner.

Kyler will be a Card.

2. Tennessee Chuxedo

The Vols battled back from an 18-point deficit, took a three-point lead, and then with Purdue inbounding and down 2 with under 3 ticks on the clock, fouled Carsen Edwards as he attempted a corner three.

No. No. No. No.

At the time Purdue was shooting 25% from the line, so you figured Edwards would not bury all three, but after missing the first he did drain the next two (“Onions!”) and the Makers Of Steam took over in OT.

Other Sweet 16 victors: Gonzaga, Texas Tech and Virginia (the last of whom will face Purdue on Saturday).

Also, TV producers: Don’t give away your age by constantly going to shots of older dudes such as Gene Keady and Phil Fulmer all night. Half your audience doesn’t remember who they are.

3. Chavez Ravine Ballnado

On Opening Day, the Dodgers held a baseball giveaway courtesy of the Diamondbacks, as Arizona yielded eight home runs. On octet of homers. That’s an Opening Day record.

Austin Barnes, Cody Bellinger, Max Muncy and Corey Seager all hit round-trippers, while Enrique Hernandez and Joc Pederson launched two. Whatever the odds were at Harrah’s, we really hope you didn’t lay a bet on the D-Backs winning the World Series.

Elsewhere, the Red Sox lost in Seattle (their second consecutive series on the West Coast, by the way) and Luke Voit, batting cleanup for the Yanks, sent a 428-foot, three-run rocket to dead center in his first at-bat of the season. Greg Bird whiffed thrice but also hit one out.

4. Tiger Beat The Bushes

On his knees.

Left-handed.

Club-face upside down.

On the green.

Tiger Woods has all the shots. Have the club pro work with you on that shot next week.

Tiger lost his match-play match in Austin yesterday, but who cares?

5. To Infinity! And Beyond!

A visitor from Hong Kong slipped and fell to his death (Rule No. 1) at the Eagle Point Observation Area at the Grand Canyon on Thursday. Another Grand Canyon visitor died on Tuesday although officials have not released details of that person’s demise. We always wonder if these people’s final thoughts are, But I’m on vacation!

Music 101

Smile A Little Smile For Me

British band The Flying Machine got a head start on all those one-hit wonder bands of the Seventies by being a one-hit wonder in the autumn of 1969. This tune rose all the way to No. 5 on the Billboard charts in the last months of the decade.

Remote Patrol

Sweet 16

7 p.m. CBS & TBS

An evening of 21st century champs versus excitable upstarts: Michigan State-LSU, North Carolina-Auburn, Duke-Virginia Tech and Kentucky-Houston. Who is most primed to be upset? We’ll say Sparty.