IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters
https://mediumhappi.org/?p=7965

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right


Ladies, we realize he’s irresistible, but c’mon.

Starting Five

Nuked By Duke

ESPN’s Jimmy Dykes had a good line about the Blue Devils’ sanguine attitude as far as opposing teams wearing black against them (for blackout games) in their own gyms: “It’s their funeral.”

Those words seemed ill-fitting as Louisville led Duke by 23 points after 30 minutes and Blue Devil super frosh Zion Williamson sitting with four fouls. At that point, with the Cardinals up 59-36 at the YUM Center, Dykes said, “It’s over but it’s not over.”

Zion (27 points, 12 boards) returned, the Fighting Ks harassed the ‘ville into a glut of turnovers, and Duke scored the winning free throws with 14 seconds remaining to win, 71-69. Duke outscored Louisville 35-10 over the final 9:58. All but three of Duke’s points were  scored by true freshmen.


Coach K to his squad during a timeout when they trailed big. “I don’t coach losers.” No, he does not. That was the largest comeback (23 points) of his career.

Also, on the earlier ESPN game, Kentucky lost by 2 at home to LSU on a buzzer-beater put-back that should have been disallowed due to goaltending. Dick Vitale and Karl Ravech called that game and I only mention that because V, Ravech, and Ravech’s toupee are the three longest-tenured employees at ESPN.

2. White Like Me

We love an April Fool’s Day-themed issue as much as the next reader, but couldn’t Esquire have waited until April to release it? Meet Ryan Morgan, 17, of West Bend, Wisconsin. He’s been selected because he’s just a typical teenager from a typical American county (that happened to vote 67% in favor of Trump).

If that young lady looks familiar, she went on to play Bailey Quarters on WKRP In Cincinnati

The concept is nothing new for magazines. Newsweek did a series like this back in 1966.

What made this, at least for us, worthy of derision is the tagline on the cover that begins “What It’s Like To Grow Up White…” Just what we needed as a nation. Another story detailing the plight of the great white male.

3. Three-sy Does It

Our Twitter friend and frequent tipster Gene from the Bay Area alerted us to a sweet little stat: The last three number one overall NBA draft picks have combined to make four career three-pointers. Or fewer than Steph Curry or Klay Thompson make in a game and often in a half.

Ben Simmons is 0-14 career from beyond the arc, which is just startling for a dude who plays the 2 or 3, much less a top overall pick. Markelle Fultz is 4-14, all four going in this season. DeAndre Ayton is 0-4.

Three top overall picks, 32 combined career three attempts, four made, or 12.5%.

Of course the most alarming aspect of this is simple: Hasn’t the NBA learned the value of accurate three-point shooting? Will they figure it out after the Warriors win their fourth NBA championship of the past five seasons this June? To be fair, the Houston Rockets and not the Dubs have led the NBA in threes per game in five of the past six seasons and have yet to make the NBA Finals.

Magee is going to own whatever rec league he plays in five years from now

But the Warriors are the vanguard of the prolific threes era. And, much the way ol’ ball coaches in CFB finally came around to the idea that you have to score in order to win, so too are NBA coaches beginning to realize that the game is won outside the arc. Milwaukee and Golden State are both at the top of their respective conferences and are Nos. 2 and 4, respectively, in threes made.

But a Stephen Curry or a Klay Thompson doesn’t come around every year. Or doe he? Fletcher Magee is 6’4″, plays for Wofford and for the second season in a row leads Division I in three-pointers (109). In fact, last weekend he surpassed Duke’s J.J. Redick (a teammate of Simmons and, earlier this season, Fultz) for No. 2 on the all-time list of career three-pointers made in Division I. Magee has now drained 460 career threes and has an outside chance of catching Oakland’s Travis Bader, who has the record with 504.

Will someone draft him, simply as a spot-up sniper? We’ll see. Magee does not appear on any mock drafts that we’ve seen.

4.  High Of The Tiger

In Houston, a few potheads entered an abandoned home to smoke weed. In the garage they found not a bean bag chair but a live tiger. Damn, this is some good sh*t. The good news is that the tiger is okay, that the po-po didn’t go Harambe on it, and that it’s already been transferred to a humane habitat about 80 miles north. Thank God for stoners…

5. Of King & Kingpin

Fox on the run

At the 143rd Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show King, a wire fox terrier, was named Best In Show.

At Federal District Court in Brooklyn El Chapo, a Mexican drug kingpin, was convicted on all 10 counts against him and now faces life imprisonment.

King was led away on a leash. El Chapo, real name Joaquin Guzman Loera, was led away in handcuffs.

Music 101

We Will Rock You

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPA7mhT3AAY

Our musical brother Randall reminded us earlier this week that there’s no good reason Queen had to make this song a dirge. And not a bad concert opener at that (we saw Queen on this tour and vaguely remember this; we remember Freddie’s leather jacket better).

Remote Patrol

Lawrence of Arabia

8 p.m. TCM

Julie Christie is that way. But stay focused, Omar. That’s your next film.

John, hasn’t this item simply become “What’s my favorite thing on TCM today?” 

It’s Lawrence of A-Freakin’-Rabia. Show a little respect.

Seven Oscar wins, including Best Picture and, for David Lean, a well-deserved Best Director. But, to answer your question, yes. Yes, it has.

 

4 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!”

  1. Did you watch the dog show? (BTW, have you, a Manhantanite for 20-something years, ever seen it in person?) I LOVE this event, even if I’m not thrilled that Fox now has the TV coverage & even if, over the years, I have usually disagreed with at least half of the Group winners let alone the BIS (“Best in Show’). This year I didn’t actually curse at the TV when the various Group winners were announced, although I did like some better than others (you go, Sussex Spaniel! His 2nd straight year in the BIS final round! He was SOOOOO cute!) Also this year, for the 1st/only time I can remember, one of the Group winners was declared INELIGBLE to win BIS because apparently that judge has some kind of relationship with the dog’s owner…..hmmmmm, yeah, ok, whatev. But to me the REAL CONFLICT was that the BIS judge is a longtime “terrier man” (i.e. he has bred/shown/judged terriers for many, many years) & of which the FOX folks informed we viewers repeatedly during the 2 days/nights of coverage as they stated his qualifications for this exalted job. Humph, this guy DIDN’T EVEN SAY THE NAME/TYPE OF THE DOG when he announced Best in Show, he points & says “HIM”. (WE could not see where he was pointing, as the camera was ON HIM!) Look, that dog was ok, but COME ON, that breed has won a zillion times! (ahem, might be a slight exaggeration). UNLESS that dog was THE BEST FREAKIN TERRIER OF ALL TIME, he should NOT have given him the prize because of his HUGE conflict of interest! BTW, the fans in the stands were NOT HAPPY either! They barely clapped for him compared to the wild hoots & hollers for my fave & the Longhaired Dachshund, & while I’m not really a huge fan of that breed, I have to say that dog was a PERFORMER; he strutted around the ring as if HE were the REAL king! Sure, Westminster is “not a popularity contest” but to me this stinks.

    Reply

  2. Alas, I missed it, Susie B. Was trifling with other matters and then onto Duke-Ville. But your protests and imprecations are duly noted.

    Reply

  3. Feels like every single magazine story about ‘white males’ these days are being belittled and insulted by anyone with a platform, which, if you ask me, undercuts the sarcasm of calling it a ‘plight’. (And yes, I’m a white male, so flame away.)

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *