IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

by John Walters
https://mediumhappi.org/?p=7881

by John Walters

Tweet Me Right


Donald Trump, Adderall addict. Surprised?

Starting Five

Netflix And Oscar

When the history of movies and/or entertainment is compiled, today will be remembered. This is the day that a future Oscar-winning Best Picture, Roma, made its premiere not at a Loews or an AMC or even at an Alamo Draft House, but rather on your computer or TV streaming service.

Director Alfonso Cuaron‘s black-and-white nostalgia peek at Mexico in the 1970s, universally acclaimed as a “masterpiece,” is now streaming on Netflix. You can literally wake up, reach for your laptop and watch an Oscar-worthy film before you put on pants today (not that we’re doing that…..NOOOOOOOO….nooooo…..we’re waiting until it’s night time).

2. Billy, GOAT

If you don’t know who Billy Eichner is or quite get his manic energy with “Billy On The Street”, here’s an excellent introductory video guest-starring Lin-Manuel Miranda. For you out-of-towners, Eichner does almost all of this schtick in the sweet-spot area between Union Square and Washington Square Park. Union Square is the REAL Times Square for us New Yorkers. It’s where we hang. The rest of ‘y’all can have Tickle Me, Elmo and Times Square to yourselves.

Our favorite lines: “YOU MIGHT WANNA DECIDE THAT BEORE YOU GO TO VIETNAM!” and “IT’S LIKE PITBULL IF PITBULL WENT TO VASSAR!”

You have to wonder what his batting average on these encounters is. How many does he do in proportion to how many make air?

3. Screamin’ A Dope Call

Bloviator Extreme and Master Charlatan Screamin’ A. Smith, who does know his hoops and just pretends about everything else (and how is he different than any other sports talk radio host in that regard?), goes on air yesterday morning and comes off as combo of “Second-Hand News Guy” and “Drunk Uncle.” Bobby Moynihan would be proud.

First, he notes that he’s looking for big things from Spencer Ware. Kellerman: “Spencer Ware is out.”

Then he mentions Hunter Henry (hasn’t played all season) and Derrick Johnson (no longer on team). The look on Tedy Bruschi‘s face is just begging for the credits theme music from Curb Your Enthusiasm. SAS makes so many personnel errors that you almost overlook that he says, “San Diego Chargers,” though we all hope for that, no?

At least the Charger social media crew had some fun with it…

 

What the dude says in that video is correct: “In fairness to Screamin’ A, he’s probably being asked to do too many things at ESPN.” And that’s true. And I’ll never understand why. But I’m not his target demo.

4. The Lion King


The headline reads, “Lion Steals Video Camera, Records Journey,” and step aside Alfonso Cuaron, because he’s your 2019 Best Picture Oscar winner. Maybe Best Documentary? As we imagine it, our protagonist/director embarks on an incredible journey of vengeance as he travels to the strange and faraway land of Minneapolis, Minnesota, to avenge the death of Cecil by tearing Dr. Wayne Palmer to shreds.

Think “The Revenant” meets “Lassie Come Home.” We’ll see it every day and twice on Sundays.

5. When You Realize Austin Powers Didn’t Go Far Enough

Music 101

Guess Who I Saw Today

Nancy Wilson—jazz, not Heart—passed away today at the age of 81. Listen to the lyrics of this song and it sounds as if it could have been re-titled “The Ballad of Betty Draper.” This song, Wilson’s debut single (a cover) was released in 1960 when she was 23 and proved so successful that she released five albums in the next three years. You can imagine this song being played in every cocktail lounge in every big city in America circa 1960.

Remote Patrol

See No. 1

One thought on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!”

  1. If you REALLY watch the Xmas TV-movies on the Hallmark channels, you would know that for at least the past 3-4 years the locale for the vast majority is a mythical snow-covered small town, NOT “Nashville” (although there have been 1 or 2 set there). And I would actually fork over some cash, yes, ME, who won’t cough up so much as a coughdrop these days for anything that won’t make me money, to spend just ONE Xmas in a town that, say-it-all-together-now, “DOES CHRISTMAS RIGHT”. 🙂

    And while we’re on the subject – Lifetime got back into the Xmas TV-movie arena this year (guess they were tired of hearing/reading that Hallmark was “THE MOST WATCHED CABLE CHANNEL IN THE LAND” week after week from Halloween to New Year’s) & let me tell you, most of their offerings make the Hallmark lineup seem like CITIZEN FREAKIN KANE! I saw THE VERY WORST take-off of ‘A Christmas Carol’ EVER, “starring” Toni Braxton. It made me WEEP! And NOT FROM JOY! And I had thought that dreck would win the “worst Xmas TV-movie this season” sweepstakes hands down but THEN I viewed a vile concoction called “Santa’s Boots” earlier this week. I literally ROLLED OFF MY SOFA FROM GROANING it was SO BAD!

    Last night I stayed up till 2:15 AM to watch “WHITE CHRISTMAS” on AMC to “wash the taste” of those heinous flicks from my mind. WHY does AMC broadcast this movie at 2, 3 5, 6 AM most days? I don’t know but it’s made me think of a new Xmas TV-movie plot : some disgusted/angry viewer storms the offices of AMC to demand they broadcast WHITE CHRISTMAS at reasonable hours during the holidays! I guarantee you, it’d be better than “Santa’s Boots”! 🙂

    Reply

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