by John Walters

Happy Birthday to PHYLLIS, the site’s most loyal reader! We wouldn’t be here without her. Lasagna culinary artist, die-hard Notre Dame fan, laundry aficionado and 4 a.m. internet surfer. She’s the best. If you see her today, wish her a Happy Birthday (or simply do so in the comments section below).

Starting Five

What Happens When You Bring a Coroner AND A Bonesaw To An “Interrogation?”*

**

*The judges will haltingly accept “The Turkish Bonesaw Massacre”

**The judges will belatedly accept “Jive. Turkey”

This latest Trump operetta played out in a single day. In the morning the president was telling us that he’d been on the phone with the Saudi king who “strongly denied” any involvement with the death/disappearance of U.S. resident and Saudi dissident Jamal Kashoggi, the journalist gadfly (and if Brett Kavanaugh taught us anything, it’s that a Strong Denial is more important than a plausible one). Trump himself proposed the “rogue killers” defense without ever bothering to explain how they’d be able to walk in and then out of the Saudi consulate undetected.

Not long after a cleaning crew—seriously— entered the Saudi consulate just a few hours before Turkish investigators were allowed inside to comb the scene. Mr. Wolf operates a multinational?

By day’s end here the Saudis were working on the “interrogation gone wrong” alibi without explaining why anyone would need to bring a bonesaw to a questioning much less why you’d want to dismember someone who died during an interrogation.

I’m not buying the “I was cleaning my bone saw and it went off” defense.

— Charles P. Pierce (@CharlesPPierce) October 15, 2018

But, as Donald Trump told Leslie Stahl during that 60 Minutes interview, “Boeing….Lockheed….that’s a lot of jobs.” Justice is one thing, unemployed American workers who wear red baseball caps is another.

2. Crown Prince, Crown Prince

So how’s this going to go down? Apparently, the White House woke up yesterday morning and realized Khashoggi’s murder was an actual problem, so they decided to do what they always do: send heart-attack-waiting-to-happen Mike Pompeo overseas to save the day.

The plan will work this way: Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, a man who in just the past year is fomenting a blockade against Yemen that may result in the greatest famine of the past century (and millions dead) and who has jailed billionaires in his own land, basically holding them for ransom until they pay for their freedom, is only going to cop to Khashoggi’s death if 1) it is sold as accidental and 2) it is made to appear that he was unaware of what was taking place.

No one with a lucid mind or who’s never fantasized about attending a Trump rally will buy this crap, but it won’t matter. Trump will sell it, will use the old “he’s a great man, one of the greatest, people say” b.s. and it will provide him cover to keep the $110 billion in arms contracts alive.

Meanwhile, Jared Kushner—you know, the dude worth $324 million who hasn’t paid taxes the past eight years, that guy—and the the Saudi prince are very chummy.

None of this is a John LeCarre novel. I wish it were.

I do think it’s time, however, that we all go back and watch Syriana again and appreciate just how insightful and prophetic a film it was.

3. Rodgers and Heart

He did it again. That’s the second Sunday- or Monday Night Football game in this young season in which the Packers, at Lambeau Field, trailed a garbage NFC squad (“But the Bears are in first place—” SHADDDUP!) in the fourth quarter and won, thanks to All-State marketing executive Aaron Rodgers. The Packer passer tossed for 425 yards and led Green Bay on a game-winning 90-yard drive for the winning field goal for Redemption Refugee Mason Crosby.

Not noted strongly enough by Joe Tess, Witten and Booger: that third down holding penalty on Richard Sherman that kept the drive alive. The Niners sacked Rodgers on third down and 15 or so, and the veteran committed a punk-ass hold, effectively blowing the game for the 1-5 Niners.

And, yes, it’s beyond obvious that Booger is the No. 2 guy and Jason Witten, right now, is in way over his head. We know what you were thinking, Norby: Witten is a Cowboy, a future Hall of Famer, a red-state icon, the kind of guy who in real life resembles that dude in the baseball ads who takes his daughter to the game and then stands up when they ask for military vets to be recognized. He’s the package, outside, but he just isn’t charismatic as a voice.

ESPN knows it, too. They’re looking for a graceful way out of this. For now, though, Booger remains in the crane (which may be the best vantage point for him, as it’s a unique concept). But right now Witten is like having a a second back in the backfield on 3rd-and-16.

4. Paul Allen

Co-founder of Microsoft, former owner of the Trailblazers (and he certainly was one) and current owner of the Seahawks, erstwhile Washington State student, man who achieved a perfect 1600 on his SATs and Seattle native Paul Allen died of cancer at the age of 65. He was reportedly worth $20 billion and from all accounts, one of the good guys.

That’s too young to exit the stage, particularly when you have that much money to play with. Like his high school friend, Bill Gates, Allen dropped out of college. In 1975 they formed Microsoft and essentially changed the world. Trailblazer, indeed.

The weirdest thing: Allen, with all that wealth, never married and apparently was not gay. The less this writer says about that, the better.

5.  The Great Western Loop

As this article on OutsideOnline.com states, “Thank her or blame her, Cheryl Strayed and her mega-popular book Wild have turned thru-hiking into a mainstream national pastime…”As backpacking has become more popular, it became inevitable that hikers would seek a trail that had not yet been blazed by Reese Witherspoon and others.

Enter the Great Western Loop Trail, a 6,875-mile passage that is actually a combination of five other trails sewn together. The GWL encompasses nine states, 12 national parks and 75 wilderness areas and thus far only one human, Andrew Skurka, a professional backpacker (? Who pays him?), has completed the trek. It took him 208 days.

Looking at our calendar, we may have some down time coming up. Who wants to join us?

Music 101

Love In The First Degree

This October 1981 release from Alabama was the band’s fifth straight No. 1 country hit and its biggest crossover hit, peaking at No. 5 on the Billboard chart. It was all over A.M. radio that autumn and I know because our carpool driver to my high school only listened to KOY.  I’m not sure the double-necked guitar was absolutely necessary on this tune, are you?

Remote Patrol

Red Sox-Astros

ALCS Game 3

5 p.m. TBS

Brewers-Dodgers

NLCS Game 4

9 p.m. FS1

This may be our last doubleheader of the season. The corner-office TV execs are praying for Boston-L.A., while we’re hoping for an all-Central Time Zone World Series.