by John Walters

Tweets du Jour

Hope Hicks white lies
Jared’s clearance compromised
Trump is taking all the guns
Sessions’ time is almost done
Kush lands sweet loans
NRA standing alone
Maybe God lets Oprah run
Mueller watching all the fun

WE DIDN’T START THE FIRE

— Max Burns (@themaxburns) March 1, 2018

and

 

“I like taking the guns early,” President Trump says. “Take the guns first. Go through due process second” https://t.co/FwJkCrUH0C

— CNN Politics (@CNNPolitics) February 28, 2018

 “Go through due process second” equals no due process. This is definitely one of the Trump-iest things ever said.

Starting Five

Hope and Change*

*The judges will also accept “Hope-less”

It’s quite the feather in one’s cap when you can leave your White House job of your own will before your 30th birthday, but that is what White House communications director Hope Hicks is doing. The former fashion brands PR woman had worked with the Donald for three years and was known among staffers as the “Trump Whisperer.”

Only one day earlier Hicks had met with Robert Mueller’s team, although Maggie Habermas of the NYT says the timing was just a coincidence. However, CNN’s Erin Brunette reported that Trump berated Hicks after her nine-hour meeting (“How could you be so stupid!?!”) and that was the final straw. Was Hicks, who had/has been dating Rob Foster, pushed or did she jump? Does it matter what she says, since it may just be a “white lie” anyway?

The exodus list grows: Sean Spicer, Reince Priebus, Steve Bannon, Anthony Scaramucci, Rob Porter, Katie Walsh, Michael Flynn, Omarosa, Foster, and now Hicks (and that is far from a complete roster).

2. D’Antoni, Oh!

With their 105-92 victory against the Clippers last night, the Houston Rockets won their 14th straight. That’s HoRo’s second 14-game win streak of the season and they now have the NBA’s best record at 48-13.

After one quarter and one nasty James Harden crossover, Houston led 34-12. As much love as The Beard is garnering for MVP (NBA’s leading scorer at 31.3 ppg), we could have yet another Houston franchise playing for a championship. Moreover, wouldn’t it be justice to see Mike D’Antoni finally reach an NBA Finals?

Here’s a terrific stat. When D’Antoni coached Phoenix in their 2005-2006 “7 Seconds Or Less” season, the Suns shot quicker than any team in the NBA. This season all but one team releases the ball with faster in the shot clock than that Suns team did. D’Antoni changed the face of basketball.

3. Gunbelievable*

*The judges will not accept “The Marshal Plan”

On the same day that Florida’s Republican-controlled appropriations committee approved a $67 million “school marshal” program to give 10 teachers per school 132 hours of training to carry guns, and give armed teachers $500 bonuses (shouldn’t there be an added bonus for a kill shot?), a teacher in Georgia was arrested for barricading himself in a classroom and allegedly firing a live round of ammunition.

Jesse Davidson, 53, a social studies teacher at Dalton High School, was charged with “aggravated assault, carrying weapon on school grounds, terroristic threats, reckless conduct, possession of gun during commission of a crime, and disrupting public school.” Soon, though, if he lived in Florida, he might be charged with none of these crimes and instead be given $500.

Meanwhile at the Sanctuary Church in Newfoundland, Pa., less than a two-hour drive from New York City, a dozen or so couples gathered to exchange or renew wedding vows while clutching their AR-15’s, in accordance with God’s will. They’re not out to harm anyone, they say, but you can’t be too careful these days. There are a lot of crazies out there. It feels as if too many people have been watching The Walking Dead for too long.

4. Bonzie’s Back

Did you really think you’d never see Bonzie Colson, arguably the most popular Notre Dame hoopster of the past decade, suit up for the Fighting Irish again? The four-and-finished senior returned for Senior Night in South Bend after missing nearly two months and 15 games with a foot injury. The Irish beat winless-in-the-ACC Pitt 73-56 to move to 18-12 as Colson scored 12 points and had nine rebounds in limited minutes.

Can the Irish, who were ranked as high as No. 5 in the nation in early December, make the Big Dance? They visit No. 1 Virginia on Saturday and then it’s off to the ACC tourney in Brooklyn. Beat the Wahoos and win at least two games in the tourney and they’re in, we feel. If they don’t beat the Wahoos but keep it close, it’s probably a coin toss. Either way, the team’s two seniors, Colson and Matt Farrell, have been part of an era in which the Irish have been to a pair of Elite Eights and to the Round of 32. The committee may give a 20-win Irish team the benefit of the doubt.

5. London Falling

First it rained in Paris. Then it rained in Rome and we wrote, “London, you’re next.” Guess what?

While it’s been an extremely mild winter here in Gotham (we know someone who went out in cargo shorts and a rugby shirt and ate lunch al fresco yesterday), Europe is being blanketed by snow. Northern Spain also received some as did the island of Corsica. Is Bethlehem next?

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Earlier this week MH passed our 500,000th Unique Visitor, which is to say that Susie B. and Jacob are not our only two readers. Thank you for visiting. If you’re ever in the mood for showing your appreciation in a pecuniary fashion, our PayPal address is trumansparks88@gmail.com. We think. 

Music 101

Near Wild Heaven

Yes, we’ve already tackled an REM song this week, but the staff came across this dreamy performance of the band’s 1991 Brian Wilson-inspired sunny pop tune by a prep school ensemble. As near as we can guess, this is the International School of Minnesota located in Eden Prairie. We hope this group got an “A.”

Remote Patrol

My Fair Lady

10:15 p.m. TCM

Why stop now with the TCM love fest? Audrey Hepburn in her all-time most delightful role (don’t @ me, Roman Holiday fans) as Eliza Doolittle, even if she did lip-synch her tunes. Rex Harrison as Professor Henry Higgins also charmed in this Best Picture winner from 1965.