by Michael DePaoli

In which our intrepid correspondent indulges in the delights of the annual Telluride Film Festival.

Depending upon how fast you might drive, the town of Telluride in the four-corner region of Colorado is about six hours from Albuquerque, seven hours from Salt Lake City and Denver, and eight hours from Phoenix. Once you arrive, you will find hotel rooms that are wildly expensive, and parking that is severely limited. There are no fast-food restaurants in town, and the speed limit signs on the streets are irrelevant because there is always a pedestrian in your way. If you might be lucky enough to book a room at the New Sheridan Hotel (built in 1895) you must park in the median on the main street of town in order to unload your luggage, and then they hand you a parking permit and tell you to drive behind the hotel into the residential neighborhoods and find a place on the streets where the signs allow “G” parking to occur.

There is nothing about attending the Telluride Film Festival that is not a hassle. So, why have I attended the event six years in a row? Because Telluride is an escape for movie lovers. In the past I was in the audience when Ben Affleck introduced his film Argo. I was also in the audience when Barry Jenkins introduced his film Moonlight. This year, Angelina Jolie introduced First They Killed My Father, and Gary Oldman introduced Darkest Hour.

Elisabeth Shue

(copyright Michael DePaoli)

At the recent Festival over Labor Day weekend, I was minding my own business (Editor’s Note: We highly doubt this) walking away from the Palm Theatre where I had just seen the premiere of Battle of the Sexes, when a woman stopped me and asked me for directions to the Galaxy Theatre. It was Elisabeth Shue! I said, “Hold on, nobody gets out of here without singing the blues.” It was a line from one of her films called Adventures in Babysitting. Ms. Shue gave me a courtesy laugh. Technically, it was more of an annoyed giggle with a roll of her eyes, but I did not care. Elizabeth Shue was talking to me. She starred in The Karate Kid, Cocktail, and Leaving Las Vegas, and the entire world was made just a little bit nicer because of her angelic onscreen presence, and there she was talking to me.

Ben Mendelsohn

(Copyright Michael DePaoli)

I met Ben Mendelsohn (Rogue One, Darkest Hour) inside the gondola car traveling from the town to the ski village. I met Michael Weatherly (NCIS, Bull) at the opening night picnic, which they call The Big Feed. At dinner my seat was right near Ken Burns (miniseries on Vietnam War and Baseball). Emma Stone walked right past me and smiled at me (or maybe she smiled at the person next to me, I am not sure).

My friends at home ask, “Why are you so starstruck?” And, my answer is that at Telluride they are not stars, they are just normal people, they are movie lovers who want to watch movies!

At the Telluride Film Festival you must buy a pass to enter the movie theatres. But, the pass does not guarantee you a seat. Each movie is first come first served, so you must get into line at least an hour before each movie starts. While waiting in line, you meet fascinating moviegoers from all over. While in line for one movie I talked to the friendly litigating lawyer from Denver. The next day I waited in line with the stunning architect from Costa Rica. There were dog lovers, and beer lovers, and even people who kept talking about 420 (whatever that might be). As soon as one movie ends, you see people dash out the exit doors and run to get into line for the next movie. The popcorn and candy that they sell before each movie is your lunch for the four-day festival.

Michael Weatherly

(Copyright Michael DePaoli)

All of the movies at Telluride are good. Some are better than others, but each and every movie meets the quality standards of the judges. In six years at Telluride, I have never seen a bad movie. So, please keep that in mind when I give you my two cents on the selected movies listed below, which all were shown at Telluride 2017:

The Shape Of Water: A creative and charming alien porn flick where they deliver hard-boiled eggs instead of pizza.

Battle Of The Sexes: Emma Stone is adorable, but this movie would be just another run-of-the-mill docudrama if not for the brilliant break-up speech delivered by Elisabeth Shue to Steve Carell.

Jamaica Man: A short movie worth downloading, because it shows the unique perspective from another side of life.

Darkest Hour: If Ben Mendelsohn and Gary Oldman might not win best supporting actor and best actor, respectively, at all the award shows, then something would definitely be amiss.

First They Killed My Father: This historical masterpiece packs a punch. It leaps into your consciousness.

Film Stars Don’t Die In Liverpool: All Annette Bening. There were other actors on the screen, but they do not matter because Annette Bening was absolutely transcendent.

Hostiles: This is a real Western movie where chaos and doubt are captured in every scene.

Downsizing: Phenomenal actors who were too large for this tiny vehicle of a movie.

Eating Animals: Avoid at all costs if you might have morality and a conscience and you love to eat meat.